Should I Press Charges

[EbonynIvory]

I have a serious issue and I know it is about material things, but it's also about a person's walk with God. I will apologize ahead of time if this gets too long.

I hired a young lady from my church to babysit for me during the summer. A couple of weeks ago I came home to find several pieces of jewelry missing from my dresser (they were sitting on top of the dresser). I asked her if she had anyone in my home and she said no. I knew that I didn't misplace the jewelry, so I knew that if no one was in my home that she had to have taken it. Well, she told me that the only person that came to my house was her boyfriend to pick up his cell phone that he had left in her purse, but he didn't come inside, she took it to him. So my husband and I decided to call the cops to write a report (have to do this for insurance purposes) and he told my son and my son proceeded to tell him that he saw the babysitter at my dresser and picking stuff up and he thought she put it back down.

Here's what I've done: I've talked to her mother, our pastor and been praying about this issue. Today I had someone from church tell me that I'm not supposed to take my brethern to court. If I press charges against her for theft of property, how am I in the wrong? What should I do in this situation? Any and all opinions are welcomed. Trust me, I have thick skin so don't feel like you have to hold back. I want to do the right thing and not cause an uproar, but at the same time I do feel that this individual should pay for her crime.

 

[LovingLady]

Today I had someone from church tell me that I'm not supposed to take my brethern to court.

I have never heard of that before. Do you know if it is in the Bible?

The first thing I would do is to confront her about it. If she confesses and returns the items, great. Forgive her and move on but don't allow her to babysit anymore. The Bible says to forgive people, not to trust them automatically. If she denies it, tell her what your son said and give her a chance to confess. If she still denies it, take her to court.

 

[LatterGlory]

1Co 6:1-8
(1) Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?
(2) Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
(3) Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?
(4) If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.
(5) I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?
(6) But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.
(7) Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?
(8) Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

 

[EbonynIvory]

Is this a first time offence? Do you think she will be served well by having a record?

No she has a juvenile record. I found this out after talking to her mother. I knew she had been in trouble, but it was hush hush at church and no one else knew the extent. Then I found out that the day after she took my jewelry, she was indicted by a grand jury for another theft charge that happened in January 2010. So yes, she has a record. Has she learned from her mistakes, yeah, she's learned how to continue to be a thief and try to perfect it.

 

[donna894]

This young lady needs to learn one way or the other that stealing is wrong, and last but certainly not least, against the Word of God. Isn't that a large part of going to church - learning and obeying God's Word? Its interesting that her mother would allow her to work in people's home even though she knew her child's background. If she was just indicted this past January and is still at it, that did not serve as a wake up call. She needs serious intervention.

How is the church helping her? Is she receiving counseling, mentoring, etc? Or are they enabling her like her mother? It's just a matter of time before she steals again. Keeping things hush hush may shield the church and her mother from embarrassment, but it does nothing to help her. This reminds me of how the Catholic Church has covered up child molestations for decades, only to end up with a huge mess on their hands which could have been avoided.

If the church and her mother can intervene, get your things returned and get this girl the help she needs, then I would go that route. If they can't or won't, it would be in the girl's best interest if you pressed charges. Maybe the penal system can help her or at least get her attention.

Also if your church is enabling and covering for her, I would seriously consider another church. This is your salvation we're talking about here and that needs to be taken very seriously.

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

I had someone from church tell me that I'm not supposed to take my brethern to court.

Your brethren is not supposed to steal! Press charges.

 

[Guitarhero]

I have a serious issue and I know it is about material things, but it's also about a person's walk with God. I will apologize ahead of time if this gets too long.

I hired a young lady from my church to babysit for me during the summer. A couple of weeks ago I came home to find several pieces of jewelry missing from my dresser (they were sitting on top of the dresser). I asked her if she had anyone in my home and she said no. I knew that I didn't misplace the jewelry, so I knew that if no one was in my home that she had to have taken it. Well, she told me that the only person that came to my house was her boyfriend to pick up his cell phone that he had left in her purse, but he didn't come inside, she took it to him. So my husband and I decided to call the cops to write a report (have to do this for insurance purposes) and he told my son and my son proceeded to tell him that he saw the babysitter at my dresser and picking stuff up and he thought she put it back down.

Here's what I've done: I've talked to her mother, our pastor and been praying about this issue. Today I had someone from church tell me that I'm not supposed to take my brethern to court. If I press charges against her for theft of property, how am I in the wrong? What should I do in this situation? Any and all opinions are welcomed. Trust me, I have thick skin so don't feel like you have to hold back. I want to do the right thing and not cause an uproar, but at the same time I do feel that this individual should pay for her crime.

Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's. Obey the laws. That, from the mouth of Christ. If she committed a crime, use the legal system that is in place for your benefit. There is no slap on the hand concerning christians....at least, there shouldn't be.

 

[janaq2003]

I have never heard of that before. Do you know if it is in the Bible

?

The first thing I would do is to confront her about it. If she confesses and returns the items, great. Forgive her and move on but don't allow her to babysit anymore. The Bible says to forgive people, not to trust them automatically. If she denies it, tell her what your son said and give her a chance to confess. If she still denies it, take her to court.

It is. i'll post it for you.

 

[CoilyFields]

I believe this (look below) is the scripture being referred to. Whatever you decide to do my personal opinion is that this young woman should be taught one way or the other that stealing is wrong and should be made to pay for her pilfering ways. If a person does not learn consequences for actions they will continue to sin. JMHO

Is this a first time offence? Do you think she will be served well by having a record?

1Co 6:1-8
(1) Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?
(2) Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
(3) Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?
(4) If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.
(5) I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?
(6) But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.
(7) Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?
(8) Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

The Bible says not to sue (?) your brother (fellow believer).

I would seriously study and pray over this passage and ask for guidance as to how it applies to your situation.

(Like, Im not sure it pertains to everything...off the top of my head I would think it means not to sue-purposely pursue damages- rather than not press charges like for theft. And I know there are times where the law presses charges against the person, like in domestic violence and murder.)

I havent studied this passage or prayed about it so I cant say for sure how to apply it.

I would just say that make sure you are seeking rghteousness and not justice (because sometimes they do not equal the same outcome...thank God for mercy!).

 

[donna894]

[/B]

The Bible says not to sue (?) your brother (fellow believer).

I would seriously study and pray over this passage and ask for guidance as to how it applies to your situation.

(Like, Im not sure it pertains to everything...off the top of my head I would think it means not to sue-purposely pursue damages- rather than not press charges like for theft. And I know there are times where the law presses charges against the person, like in domestic violence and murder.)

I havent studied this passage or prayed about it so I cant say for sure how to apply it.

I would just say that make sure you are seeking rghteousness and not justice (because sometimes they do not equal the same outcome...thank God for mercy!).

This sentence leads me to wonder: is this young lady a fellow believer? The bible tells us we will know a person by their fruit, that is the fruit of their actions. The bible also tells us we will reap what we sow. As a believer, we have recognize that there are consequences for our choices and actions. If she were a believer, I don't think she would continue to steal from others. If the church and her mother can't get her the help she needs, hopefully the penal system will.

 

[Sharpened]

Sorry to say this, but this situation calls for the exact actions Paul recommended for a reprobate mind: turn her out and over. Sometimes, the adversary can do a better job of knocking person on the straight and narrow than we can, although he hates this fact.

 

[madamdot]

Sorry to say this, but this situation calls for the exact actions Paul recommended for a reprobate mind: turn her out and over. Sometimes, the adversary can do a better job of knocking person on the straight and narrow than we can, although he hates this fact.

I agree with this.

Sometimes we think not getting a person in trouble is a good thing when in fact we are doing them a disservice.

I hope she gets her life straight,

 

[Laela]

ETA: If I prayed about this and God says to, I'd press charges... folks at church shouldn't be encouraging this stuff by hiding it under a rug.

James 5:16 says we should confess our sins one to another so that there is healing of any sins/faults. How can this be done is everyone is hush-hush about this child's behavior?

Whether she's saved or not really has no bearing on this, because if she's babysitting, I assume she's old enough to know that there are consequences to actions - good and bad. I sincerely hope the Momma isn't disabling her child's ability to know wrong from right by covering for her; If so, she's doing a great disservice, to ALL involved.

I pray this all turns out for good.

Also, please read Matthew 18. It applies to your situation:

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will bec bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will bed loosed in heaven.
19 “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

No she has a juvenile record. I found this out after talking to her mother. I knew she had been in trouble, but it was hush hush at church and no one else knew the extent. Then I found out that the day after she took my jewelry, she was indicted by a grand jury for another theft charge that happened in January 2010. So yes, she has a record. Has she learned from her mistakes, yeah, she's learned how to continue to be a thief and try to perfect it.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

considering her past record, i'd press charges and not think twice about it. You trusted her to be in your home AND paid her to be their so she is A) ungrateful because how do you steal from someone who is not only your church family, but who is willing to pay you and help you out, considering the fact that she probably has a hard time trying to find an actual job at an establishment with her record
B) is a habitual thief. She wont learn any lesson if you, her mother, and the church get her to confess. time in jail, embarrassment followed by true repentance is the ONLY thing that will help her.

 

[CoilyFields]

This sentence leads me to wonder: is this young lady a fellow believer? The bible tells us we will know a person by their fruit, that is the fruit of their actions. The bible also tells us we will reap what we sow. As a believer, we have recognize that there are consequences for our choices and actions. If she were a believer, I don't think she would continue to steal from others. If the church and her mother can't get her the help she needs, hopefully the penal system will.

To the bolded: I assumed she was a believer since OP stated that she attended her church. As for her heart status...I wouldnt question it. If you say you are a believer...only you and God can be true judges so I consider you a believer. I guess what Im trying to say is that just because she sinned doesnt mean she is no longer a believer or never really was...we all sin...daily. So I would err on the side of caution and treat her as a sister...and therefore, apply the scripture...whenever I get a full understanding of the passage lol

 

[donna894]

To the bolded: I assumed she was a believer since OP stated that she attended her church. As for her heart status...I wouldnt question it. If you say you are a believer...only you and God can be true judges so I consider you a believer. I guess what Im trying to say is that just because she sinned doesnt mean she is no longer a believer or never really was...we all sin...daily. So I would err on the side of caution and treat her as a sister...and therefore, apply the scripture...whenever I get a full understanding of the passage lol

I have come across all kinds of people with all kinds of agendas in church. Just cuz someone attends church doesn't necessarily mean they're a believer. There are scriptures about discernment. I agree that only God is the true judge, however, we are to be discerning.