Should I call him

[**SaSSy**]

Okay me and my ex-bf broke up almost 2 years ago, but the last time he called me was in July on some I want to be "friends" tip . So I was so mad and said that I don't want to be your friend. But some reason lately I been thinking about him, having those thoughts on how's he doing because even though I don't want him back, I do want to know how's doing. Yesterday was really creepy, I was in a store, and the guy that services me looked just like my ex! I was about to call him last night, and see how he was doing, so I dialed the number, and he said hello, I was so nervous that I just hung up. I'm so confuse, should I call him? I'm scared because I don't want him to think I want him back, and frankly I don't care who's he dating, or not dating. I just want to know how's his life is because I notice how much I try to forget about him, I will be marry with 10 kids and still wonder what happen to my ex!

Is this normal of me to feel this way, and it's weird because I always feel like his around the holidays

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Knowing how his life is, is going to FULFILL you how? I say make a lis of all the reasons why ya wanna call vs why you shouldnt...

if you are not entertaining anyone it maybe for companionship, even if you don't want to admit it...

 

[Solitude]

Knowing how his life is, is going to FULFILL you how? I say make a lis of all the reasons why ya wanna call vs why you shouldnt...

if you are not entertaining anyone it maybe for companionship, even if you don't want to admit it...

This is what I was thinking.

 

[p31woman]

Not to be nosey, but what kind of boyfriend was he to you? Did he treat you well or crappy? That for me would determine whether I would call or not.

If you can call him and keep it strictly on a how are you doing basis then I think its fine. But if calling him is goning to make you think about him more and possibly make you want to get back together, I wouldn't call. (That is if you too getting back together is a bad idea.)

ETA...I think its natural to miss companionship during the holidays, lots of people do. But in the midst of those feelings, you still gotta be smart about things.

 

[**SaSSy**]

okay here's the thing that makes this really crazy:

I was with him for almost 4 years, and the last 2 years were hell, but at the time I thought it was just a roadblock that we needed to over come. Then I relized (towards the end) he was a jerk! Then after we broke up he kept calling me telling me how he wasn't happy without me and realize how good I was for him. By that time I was so over him! But I know that he had and mostly like has a bad life because of how he was raised which made me love him because I knw he WAS trying to do better, but something always intervened to mess it up. Whether it was his fault or not.

But now presently I'm straight, my life is way too busy, and unpredictable for anyone serious or not, I receive attention from men, but I don't never take them seriously to the point of going past flirting. So why is that I'm not interesting in anyone, don't want anyone, but I still wonder what my ex is up to?

 

[p31woman]

I think its ok to wonder. Since you said he has had a hard life, I can understand being curious as to how he was doing. If you call, leave it as a how are you thing. Don't fall back into something that's not healthy.

 

[MD_Lady]

Nope. An ex is an ex for a reason. If you all had a clean break, I'd let it stay that way.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

I dont think you should call him, to be hones tfrom what you said even though you said you dont want him back like a thousand times it seems in some ways you do, if you start being 'friends' with him now you will know if he is single, engaged, has a gf and what not. Besides if he tell you what is going on in his life then what? how will it change anything for the better Its okay to wonder about pple in your past but it doesnt mean you can then forget everything that happened in it.

 

[sexyeyes3616]

I went through a similar situation as well sassy. I broke up with my ex because he was a liar, cheater, and at the time didn't care about me at all. He really treated me like crap. So he called me trying to get back with me. Telling me he was sorry for how he treated me and blah, blah, blah. I told him no. Then like you I got to thinking you know I'll never get back in a relationship with him, but it would be nice to see him again one day. So I called him back and he didn't answer. So I didn't bother calling him back. This was last year.

>>forward to this year I found it he is married. At first didn't believe it because the person who passed on the info never liked me but I ended up finding his wife's myspace page and he is married. I haven't been dealing with it that well. And I think its because I now have to accept the fact that I most likely will never reconnect with him again, and not even on a friend/acquaintance type thing more of I'd like to see you again one day kind of thing. Now that probably would never happen. And also it kind of aggravates me that he was able to find love in such a short amount of time since he called me in Oct. 07

Okay me and my ex-bf broke up almost 2 years ago, but the last time he called me was in July on some I want to be "friends" tip . So I was so mad and said that I don't want to be your friend. But some reason lately I been thinking about him, having those thoughts on how's he doing because even though I don't want him back, I do want to know how's doing. Yesterday was really creepy, I was in a store, and the guy that services me looked just like my ex! I was about to call him last night, and see how he was doing, so I dialed the number, and he said hello, I was so nervous that I just hung up. I'm so confuse, should I call him? I'm scared because I don't want him to think I want him back, and frankly I don't care who's he dating, or not dating. I just want to know how's his life is because I notice how much I try to forget about him, I will be marry with 10 kids and still wonder what happen to my ex!

Is this normal of me to feel this way, and it's weird because I always feel like his around the holidays

 

[**SaSSy**]

I went through a similar situation as well sassy. I broke up with my ex because he was a liar, cheater, and at the time didn't care about me at all. He really treated me like crap. So he called me trying to get back with me. Telling me he was sorry for how he treated me and blah, blah, blah. I told him no. Then like you I got to thinking you know I'll never get back in a relationship with him, but it would be nice to see him again one day. So I called him back and he didn't answer. So I didn't bother calling him back. This was last year.

>>forward to this year I found it he is married. At first didn't believe it because the person who passed on the info never liked me but I ended up finding his wife's myspace page and he is married. I haven't been dealing with it that well. And I think its because I now have to accept the fact that I most likely will never reconnect with him again, and not even on a friend/acquaintance type thing more of I'd like to see you again one day kind of thing. Now that probably would never happen. And also it kind of aggravates me that he was able to find love in such a short amount of time since he called me in Oct. 07

This part of your story is crazy, because one of the reasons why I'm like I don't know is because what if he's in a serious relationship, or about to have a child. In an indirect way that would kike of bother me because he moved on so quick and about 3 years ago I wanted to have his child (as of July 2008 he told me he doesn't have any children). I did some detective work about a week ago and listen to his phone messages because I know the code and he still doing all the things that I hated when we were together, so it's like he didn't change that part of him.

 

[Taliah]

If you feel the same way on Jan 2 then reevaluate.
My ex always trys to contact me around the Holidays and I don't believe he puts two and two together.

 

[MissJ]

I would say no. It will just open up old stuff and cause you to wonder, "What ifs."

 

[sexyeyes3616]

This part of your story is crazy, because one of the reasons why I'm like I don't know is because what if he's in a serious relationship, or about to have a child. Well turns out my ex is married(which I believe is true) and when I found out he was married which was a couple of months ago I was told his wife was preggers(which is probably true as well). And he might have been seeing her when he called me. I can only guess.
In an indirect way that would kike of bother me because he moved on so quick and about 3 years ago I wanted to have his child (as of July 2008 he told me he doesn't have any children). I did some detective work about a week ago and listen to his phone messages because I know the code and he still doing all the things that I hated when we were together, so it's like he didn't change that part of him. Well In this case you don't need to get involved with him on any level bed buddy, friend, SO, etc. because he is still doing the things that caused the relationship to end. And in the end, if you decide to get involved with him on any level, I believe you will end up getting hurt. So don't call him, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. And also as p31woman stated if you just want to call him and check up on him do that and that only.

My responses are in purple.

 

[hopeful]

I wouldn't call him. I think it's understandable that you are curious and maybe even miss him a little, but I would leave it that and move on. He will probably call you again in a few months anyway.

 

[silverlotus]

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This part of your story is crazy, because one of the reasons why I'm like I don't know is because what if he's in a serious relationship, or about to have a child. In an indirect way that would kike of bother me because he moved on so quick and about 3 years ago I wanted to have his child (as of July 2008 he told me he doesn't have any children). I did some detective work about a week ago and listen to his phone messages because I know the code and he still doing all the things that I hated when we were together, so it's like he didn't change that part of him.

Based on the bolded alone, I wouldn't do it. Clearly you still have some attachment if you feel drawn to check his messages after 2 years of being broken up. Maybe you're lonely or still holding out hope, idk, but you should KIM and refrain from calling this man. It sounds like a recipe for trouble.