Should Glib Call Him Back?

Should Glib Call Him Back

  • Sure. Give dude a chance.

    Votes: 13 30.2%

  • Nope. Onto the next!

    Votes: 30 69.8%
  • Total voters
    43
  • Poll closed .
Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
Ok. Went out on two dates with someone I met online. He asked me for a third date for this Saturday. Friday comes and I hadn't heard from him about the specifics for the date. I texted him in the afternoon, "What's the gameplan for tomorrow?"

No response.

I give him a call around 11pm that evening (he works at night and we often chat late). The phone goes straight to voicemail, which tells me that he's on the phone. I knew at that moment that we would not be going out on Saturday afternoon as planned.

1 o'clock in the morning I get this text:

Hey Glib, my supervisor told me they need me until noon tomorrow. We are going to have to reschedule. I am really sorry. Was looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I will call you tomorrow.

At 8:30 a.m., I get another text:

Hey Glib, I'm just checking to see if you received my text last night.

My instant reply:

Yep.

He called and left me a voicemail around 8:30pm this evening, saying he was on his way to work and asked me to call so we could reschedule.

I can't decide if I want to reschedule or not.

He's a decent guy (until he stood me up/found something better to do! :club:) but I was feeling on the fence about him anyway (in part because he is blue collar and I'm white collar). If I choose to believe him it sounds reasonable. But my spidey-sense tells me that I was stood up, point blank period and that I should move on to the next.

What do you guys think?
 
How do you know he stood you up for the club?

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Technically, he didn't stand you up. He told you the night before (well, 1am lol) that you guys wouldn't be able to meet up.

I say call him back. If he cancels on you again, then I say move on.
 
Playing devils advocate here:

Maybe he was on the phone trying to a) convince his supervisor to let him leave or b) trying to find someone to cover for him so he wouldn't have to cancel your date. Then, being thwarted, he decided to text you.

The only reason I even bother is he is trying to contact you. Most guys who stand you up don't even bother.
 
Yep, got stood up today too. In my opinion, it's all how the man "breaks" the date. If he is doing this in the beginning, he might continue the pattern if you give him the impression it is acceptable. The right man for you is out there.....this one might not be it...:sad:
 
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Perhaps put him on the back burner rather than totally dismissing him. If he wants you he will call.
 
Glib Gurl said:
Ok. Went out on two dates with someone I met online. He asked me for a third date for this Saturday. Friday comes and I hadn't heard from him about the specifics for the date. I texted him in the afternoon, "What's the gameplan for tomorrow?"

No response.

I give him a call around 11pm that evening (he works at night and we often chat late). The phone goes straight to voicemail, which tells me that he's on the phone. I knew at that moment that we would not be going out on Saturday afternoon as planned.

1 o'clock in the morning I get this text:

Hey Glib, my supervisor told me they need me until noon tomorrow. We are going to have to reschedule. I am really sorry. Was looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I will call you tomorrow.

At 8:30 a.m., I get another text:

Hey Glib, I'm just checking to see if you received my text last night.

My instant reply:

Yep.

He called and left me a voicemail around 8:30pm this evening, saying he was on his way to work and asked me to call so we could reschedule.

I can't decide if I want to reschedule or not.

He's a decent guy (until he stood me up/found something better to do! :club:) but I was feeling on the fence about him anyway (in part because he is blue collar and I'm white collar). If I choose to believe him it sounds reasonable. But my spidey-sense tells me that I was stood up, point blank period and that I should move on to the next.

What do you guys think?
Click to expand...

Yes, you were stood up. You text and call on Friday and he can't call you until 8:30pm the next day, all he can manage are stupid texts? So he must have been pretty busy doing something really important, huh? My instincts say KIM but if you want to see him again make him work for it. I would not call hm back either. He would have to catch me when he could. I'd be just as busy as he was.
 
I say fall back & let him come to you. Dont accept the next date he asks you on...make something up. Let that man prove that he is really interested.

Eta: I really need to take my own advice :look:
 
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I agree with the last two posts. He might have a valid reason for canceling, but make him prove his interest for date number three.
 
No. Well Vanthie wouldn't call him back.

It's not the idea that a man had to cancel that bothers me.

It's that he didn't even make any contact regarding actual date suggestions, discussion, plans about Saturday. Also he didn't text or call you back until 1am despite you making contact all the way back in the afternoon. All that tells me he had no intention of going on the date. If that was the case he could have given earlier notification.

Vanthie is gone. I only deal with guys who are obsessed with me lol:look:. A guy that doesn't contact in the gaps, or text me back about something important for 10 hours isn't the one.
 
diadall said:
If you are just casually dating then why not? I would go out, it's not like we are serious.
Click to expand...

Yes, it's just casual at this point. There's no commitment. In fact because we met on a dating site I can see that he's been back there since we've met (and he can see that I've been back as well).

Softerlove said:
You share that man hun :look:



I vote no...or if you do realize whats actually going on.
Click to expand...

I hear you completely. I actually do want to date multiple people, so I don't mind entirely that he's seeing other women. In fact, it's a relief that he is! But yeah, I don't appreciate being stood up or played for a fool. I may not be the smartest person, but I am NOT the dumbest.

Bublin said:
Perhaps put him on the back burner rather than totally dismissing him. If he wants you he will call.
Click to expand...

Anakinsmomma said:
I agree with the last two posts. He might have a valid reason for canceling, but make him prove his interest for date number three.
Click to expand...


hopeful said:
Yes, you were stood up. You text and call on Friday and he can't call you until 8:30pm the next day, all he can manage are stupid texts? So he must have been pretty busy doing something really important, huh? My instincts say KIM but if you want to see him again make him work for it. I would not call hm back either. He would have to catch me when he could. I'd be just as busy as he was.
Click to expand...

Thanks ladies. This is basically my plan. If he wants to date me again, he is going to have to EARN his way back onto my schedule. (Cheeses me off because I actually moved some things around to accommodate dude. Grrrr!) But he is a decent enough person that if he acks right, I might let him back on my dance card. But yeah. I'm not chasing him.
 
Glib, I would suggest no more text messaging while you try to date.
It's very hard to judge a person's character by text message.

I would honestly ask the phone service to disable texting on my phone.

Others may think this is drastic, but I personally did not allow texting before marriage. (lol) Now that we're married, DH can text me whenever he wants. :)

So, whatever you decide, consider turning the text feature OFF and/or let the person you date know that you do not text or respond to text.
 
lana said:
Glib, I would suggest no more text messaging while you try to date.
It's very hard to judge a person's character by text message.

I would honestly ask the phone service to disable texting on my phone.

Others may think this is drastic, but I personally did not allow texting before marriage. (lol) Now that we're married, DH can text me whenever he wants. :)

So, whatever you decide, consider turning the text feature OFF and/or let the person you date know that you do not text or respond to text.
Click to expand...

I actually disagree. I'm finding that dudes live and die by the text. Now, if that's ALL he wants to do is text, we have a problem. (You have to remember that I'm the girl who used to give you her email instead of her phone number :lol: I love written communication, but I've come to accept the phone as a necessary evil :lol:)
 
It does not read like you were stood up if he cancelled in advance.

Not making excuses but I got texts a few weeks ago that a friend sent at least 7 days prior. Texts do not always go through.
 
Well as someone who works the overnight shift I have to say that when I have to get some sleep in the afternoon to prepare myself to work all night I don't answer my phone, text, door at all. The day time is my night time and I have to get some rest so that I can work my 12-16 hour shift cause I never know if I'll get a break at work to take a nap.

Maybe it's not what you think at all.

He said he wanted to reschedule. If he didn't want to really see you I don't think he would have bothered.

If you're really not that into him then move on but if you like him why not talk to him about it?

I dunno I just wouldn't give up so easily if I really did like the dude.
 
I voted to move on, especially since you're not that into this guy anyway. Maybe he did have a valid excuse, but even so, it just doesn't feel like you two really are head over heels. It seems odd to me that he wouldn't have contacted you just to say hi between the time he suggested the Saturday date and the time you sent him the text following up about the Saturday date.
 
This is a yellow flag. i wouldn't have initiated contact beyond the afternoon text. I dunno what you should do so I didn't vote. Bring up his sleep schedule in later conversation. Maybe I'd be busy next time, depending on how apologetic he is about it all.
 
if you were only lukewarm about him, i'd KIM. & if you had a feeling (and are not the paranoid sort), i'd stick with it.
 
What is bothering me about his story is he didn't give you any advance info about plans for the date. It would be one thing if he had set up the date and you knew what was going on then he texted you the night before and said his boss asked him to work.

Glib Gurl said:
He asked me for a third date for this Saturday. Friday comes and I hadn't heard from him about the specifics for the date. I texted him in the afternoon, "What's the gameplan for tomorrow?" No response. I give him a call around 11pm that evening. . .
Click to expand...

I don't think you should have texted him in the first place to find out what the plans were but that's just my opinion. :look: He asked you for the date and if he didn't send you any information 2-3 days in advance, I would have assumed there was no date, kept it moving, and deliberately made other plans. Would he have even had the decency to text you if you hadn't texted him? SMDH. Guys can be so shady.
 
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Maybe something else is going on in his life other your date. You have to give people a chance to date you. It's not like he stood you up...then tried to call you. He let you know ahead of time that he couldn't make it. AND he wants to reschedule.

As for him being on the phone when you called? Something important could've been happening. Give the man a break. I'd understand you trippin' if he was standing you up or dodging your calls throughout the relationship.

This board will keep you single if you listen...and believe most of the advice on here.
 
Phone going straight to voicemail can also mean that the phone is off at the moment, which would mean the person isn't receiving calls or texts until they turn the phone back on. Also, if he has call waiting, being on the phone wouldn't stop it from ringing.

He didn't call to tell you in advance what his plans for Saturday were, so it doesn't sound like that was really a firm plan in his mind, or he was just thinking it was going to be a last minute type of thing--assuming he was actually at work. Not sure what to say about that. If you want an excuse to cut him off, I don't think this instance is it though.

ETA: Just saw that the plans were made, but tentative. With movies, I've rarely made specific plans with time or location until the day of or the day before at the earliest--even if it is a date. Movies are just kinda like that (or some people are just more type B than others). So, if he had spoken to you about going to dinner and a movie, but just hadn't said anything about the restaurant or specific movie time (which would have to be late afternoon), I'm thinking more along the lines that this is not really a "stood up" situation.
 
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