Shanel Cooper-sikes..she Is So On Point With This.
- Thread starter FemmeFatale
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FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
To me it reads off as "Who the hell does she think she is" and meanwhile out the other side of their mouths are the complaints about us not having any mentors, life coaches, advisors within the black community. It's just like the movie "For Colored Girls", we need to be able to reach out and help however we can. I've watched many of Shanel's videos and they are informative and helpful.
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FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Stilettos in the kitchen is a metaphor.. I think the whole point in doing that was to say not to lose yourself once you find your man, maintain your sexy..you don't have to be a frumpy, out of shape wife in order to cook well (or whatever else), one doesn't have to cancel out the other.
browniemiss
New Member
I figured she was probably moving onto something bigger because I didnt see anything for any new classes. I've never taken her classes, but I enjoy her youtube videos.
I really admire her, she got really serious about her dreams and have followed them, and things are going really well for her. She strikes me as someone who goes hard to achieve her goals and I have to take my hats off for that, because most ppl talk and don't do, she made a decision to do and followed through. I'm proud of her for that. Further, she really impacting many ppl in a positive way, go Shanel!
Guitarhero
New Member
I think it would be fair to note that some of us, myself included, actually state WHY they did not find her series very helpful. Her way of life conflicts with mine and I do not find her views on womanhood definitive advice. I don't know about her being accredited and I'm certainly not against her for her success but I simply do not adhere to her views on the bible and a woman's place and limitations within a relationship.
Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
Can you please explain why her way of life conflicts with yours? And what views on the Bible do not adhere with yours? TIA!
Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
Everything you said right here is based on conditional love. A scorecard if you will.
Guitarhero
New Member
I don't understand why you are taking this as some kind of gang kick-arse of Cooper-Sikes. I've watched several of her videos and I simply don't approve but that's according to my own personal viewpoint. I'm not encouraging anyone else to diss her and you are wrong about "conditional love" in my case. I don't think she's correct in some of her assumptions according to how I view it. As a person? She's like anybody else...deserving of respect. I said her "ADVICE"....not the person of Cooper-Sikes and I stand by my opinion.
On the other hand, consider that other are high-fiving her and how that equally "pisses" off women who do not believe that they have to jump through hoops to keep a man or defer to him in any way. Same thing. But if you agree with her teachings, that's fine and you have the right to...just as I have the right to disagree on several of her points. I believe I posted another which further explained my viewpoint days ago.
If not, here it is:
She seems to misinterpret the scriptures like so many others concerning submission, as many stop at the women's admonition but not the full scripture which brings this all to the man's responsibility to love and honor his wife. It's reciprocal...no honor and love, no respect will develop in a woman to submit to his final decisions. And it doesn't even mean that women and men cannot together determine which direction a family issue should go and that a woman cannot come to a final or more just decision than a man. Cooper-Sikes hold another point of view. Just because I don't agree with her doesn't mean I'm attempting to join the so-called rest of Black women to diss a successful sistah. To me, it's not at all a Black issue...it's a female vs. male issue under the guise of biblical teaching which I view to be misinterpreted.
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Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
How can you say you don't advocate anyone dissing her when you call her advice crap? As per how you (I think it was you. I am too lazy to double-check, LOL) described all that women are doing for men and possibly not receiving anything back from a man, seems pretty conditional to me. I do agree that submission is important for the wife, as it is to the husband, as he is accountable for the entire household. There are a few pieces of advice I will not follow. For instance, putting a pole in my kitchen. A) my kitchen is cozy sized B) I am not concerned of what people think but when my dad comes by, I don't need him feeling uncomfortable walking by it either, LOL! I think Shanel overall has a good message and as with any person giving advice, you must pick and choose what works for you.
GraceV
New Member
I've numbered some of the points you raised and this is my response accordingly:
1. Criticism comes with the territory, when one puts herself out there, she (and her followers) ought to be prepared for it and be able to support their beliefs. I don't have to like a "black woman who puts herself out there" just because she's "a black woman who puts herself out there." If I find her beliefs compatible with mine or if I find credibility in her arguments, fine but I'm not going to automatically support her ideas because she is black or a woman.
2. While I cannot speak for "the majority" and what they are doing to "uplift black women" have you considered that challenging the ideas of this Cooper person (or any other person who has put himself or herself out there) may be one way to uplift black women? Maybe it's a way to point out that we as black women do not necessarily have to all like and follow the teachings of a certain individual because she shares biological or ethnic similarities with us. Maybe it's a way to show that while a person's ideas might work for some (and I applaud her for any positive impact she has had on the lives of individuals who need, heed, and do well with her guidance) it's okay for some of us to question a growing mainstream and voice our disagreements with whatever she might be 'selling.' Maybe dismantling this weird expectation that we must all support another black woman (regardless of whether or not we agree with her) or shut up if we don't, is a way to empower black women to ask questions, discuss and disagree amongst ourselves, challenge ourselves and hold ourselves to certain standards.
I may be seeing this the wrong way but her right to present her ideas, your right to support and uphold them, and my right to discredit them are all ultimately empowering for all of us as black women. I can't get with this group mentality thing where I've got to love something because it's black and providing a "solution" or shut up and KIM. I just can't. That kind of mentality I daresay is what is holding back the black community today; this unconditional love for "our own" to the point where we fail to challenge each other out of mediocrity is one of the things that is killing progress in the black community.
I do not in any way hope for this to come across as inflammatory, neither to I intend any disrespect with my words. I apologize if this rubs anybody the wrong way... again that is not my intent.
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
Hmmmm, never heard of this person, only watched this vid, but she's not wrong. 
Also, I don't know where all this Bible stuff is coming from, maybe she mentions it in her other vids, but it sounds like she's describing kundalini energy in this particular video, if anybody was wondering.
Also, I don't know where all this Bible stuff is coming from, maybe she mentions it in her other vids, but it sounds like she's describing kundalini energy in this particular video, if anybody was wondering.
Guitarhero
New Member
I agree, Lucie, but Shanel Cooper-Sikes is not it for me. If it's for you, great!! I'm glad you learned much from her vids. I ascribe to a differing position. BTW, the OP laid it on the line that she is absolutely correct and I disagree with that. It can go both ways. As far as conditional love, I don't understand why you keep using that word...it's got nothing at all to do with how I feel about her person...I don't know her. I'm looking at her product....simply not for me. BTW, GraceV best explained it.
It's like this, there is the climate that the reason some BW don't "have a man" is due to their failure, somehow, to coddle and placate a man according to someone else's social and religious viewpoint. I can tell you that so-called "Black" people are not a monolith. And there's nothing "wrong" according to what Cooper-Sikes preaches as to why I'm single now. And I am very blunt. However, I dared to say what I felt.
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