Semi-Rant?:Why do people have to be so snarky sometimes?

davisbr88

davisbr88

Well-Known Member
I think everyone came on to the board wanting more information about haircare and wanting to achieve greater accomplishments than they ever had before. There are new people coming everyday, and these people have the same intentions.
With that said, there are going to be new people who will ask the same questions and post the same things that we may have seen.
Why is it necessary for people to reply with "this was already posted" or "this has already been discussed plenty of times?"
I know we don't like double postings of things, but obviously the poster didn't see it and I guarantee at least a handful of people didn't see it the first time around, either. I know I've caught information on the second or third posting of something that I didn't see the first time, especially if it's something that was discussed in 07 or 08 before I began lurking. Even if I had read all of the threads posted before joining, my hair conditions have changed (ie. started off relaxed, then moved on to transitioning, then to natural) so I may have only been focusing on threads dealing with that when I went through the archives.
We all know the search function isn't that great, and if someone wants to ask, I don't see the issue in that. I'm not trying to come off some kind of way because I don't have an attitude at all, but I feel like if we're all here to learn, why are people so harsh sometimes?
You can choose to ignore it and KIM, or you can contribute and help the sister out. Some people are nice enough to dig up links (Nonie and Janet' are really helpful in this manner), but if you know the answer to this, why not just answer it instead of basically giving her/him the eyeroll?
When I read these kinds of responses, it just seems really unnecessary.
This hasn't happened to me except maybe once, so I'm not singling out anyone in particular, but I have seen it quite a few times on other threads.
I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing your opinion, but how are those statements contributing to anything?
I feel like breakthroughs in our haircare are still relatively new and as we learn, why not share with your fellow LHCFer? :)
Idk... just my two cents.
 
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I know it's irritating, but it's the nature of forums. You will always get some FM's who respond in this manner. I notice it on various types of forums.

Saying that though, I agree with you. It doesn't help that the search function seems totally defunct at the moment!
 
I completely agree with you! I have always thought it was rude as well, but this forum is no different from the world we live in, some people are just rude and tactless. They fail to forget that we were all newbies at one point. I still consider myself a newbie, though I joined in Feb. If there is a thread that was created in 2007 on a certain topic I dont even feel that that info is still relevant. On this board we discuss 95% products and 5% techniques, and even when we discuss techniques we still bring up products, which evolve daily! So double postings are not a crime! If a person is tired of seeing a certain topic then either dont participate or request that topic be added as a sticky! Its simple!
 
I definitely agree with you all.
I just don't understand it.
And people in real life usually consider me "rude" or "blunt" but that's because I tell the truth and am really honest. I might be blunt, but I'm still contributing/helping someone in some way. If you ask for my opinion, I'll let you know and I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but not in a way that won't lead you anywhere. I may be blunt but I will always try to help.
Who cares if it's been posted? If you know it has, post what was said before or a link or something or just ignore it. Those simple statements are just rude and don't add anything at all to the discussion.
 
That's just how forums are. My DH is a member of a male forum and they regularly give people a hard time.

Part of it is people who are poodles in real life get behind a computer screen and become pit bulls.

But, I think the greater part is that people have different personalities and since words are just words and people add emotion to them, it can come across harsh sometimes. I'm certain that there have been times where someone said something with a smile on their face or a harmless intention but because of how it was read, the person at whom it was directed just automatically took it there when it wasn't that serious. I guess that's the reason for emoticons.
 
I agree that not having emotions does play a large part in it.
And I know there are plenty of ladies here who didn't "grow up" in the technological age and may not realize how things come off.
I hadn't thought of that.
But I still think the statement is unnecessary. Every time I see it, I feel like posting, "Okay. And....?" But then I'd be a hypocrite... lol.
 
I think that yes a forum is supposed to all welcoming and all that jazz, but it's not difficult to search for things and do research before you ask generic questions.

It's like when people ask questions that they could easily Google. It's annoying answering these.

Let me google that for you


Do your research and THEN ask all the questions you need to supplement your research.
 
I agree but that's why I said the search function isn't that great. It rarely comes up with exactly what I'm looking for even when I know FOR SURE that a thread had been posted. I then would just go hunt for that thread, but for someone who didn't know it existed, why not direct them to it, answer, or just ignore it? I don't feel like it's hurting anybody. You don't have to even click on the thread in the first place. And it only takes one more click to hit "Back" and go about your business. Why take out your time to write something that you know isn't helping anyone?
 
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Shrug, everyone is different and some people are overly sensitive. It's just a message board and all kind of characters are on here. To me stating the facts that a topic has been discussed before isn't a big deal. But to each their own. :ohwell:
 
Charz said:
Shrug, everyone is different and some people are overly sensitive. It's just a message board and all kind of characters are on here. To me stating the facts that a topic has been discussed before isn't a big deal. But to each their own. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

You're right.
And I'm not really a sensitive person at all. Like I said, I'm typically a blunt person too, but I just feel like there's no point in making the statement. When I was new, I was pretty sure someone somewhere had figured it out but I couldn't find it, so I posted. If people hadn't already discussed it, no one would have anything to say in response.
Anyway, like I said, I just don't get the point. It's not really about feelings getting hurt in my case (though I know some people would take it to heart) - it's more of me just wondering why it's necessary.
But as you said, to each her own. Just posing the question.
 
I think some people say that to let people know that there are threads out there that might have a lot of in depth info out there that would be a good jump off point for them
 
When I come across something that I want to learn more about, I highlight it, right click and select "search google for...". 9 times out of 10, it provides me with a wealth of information on that particular subject. If there is a question I can answer or provide a link to, I will do it. I don't mind because I am research oriented and I take into consideration there are some who are not. *shrugs*
 
Americka said:
When I come across something that I want to learn more about, I highlight it, right click and select "search google for...". 9 times out of 10, it provides me with a wealth of information on that particular subject. If there is a question I can answer or provide a link to, I will do it. I don't mind because I am research oriented and I take into consideration there are some who are not. *shrugs*
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But that's what I'm saying. You try to provide a link when you can.
I'm very research-oriented too. I will stay up for hours trying to find something out because I love doing it. It's like therapy for me (that's why I'm getting a doctorate... lol).
And this part isn't directed to you; just to the thread in general:
But some people aren't like that, and it's not that I don't feel like they should go find out on their own, but I just don't see why you can't just ignore it.
Like there have been really elementary questions asked that you can easily find anywhere. I might not be inclined to answer it because I feel doing the work is part of your hair journey, but I'm also not going out of my way to make someone feel stupid.
Some people post to give people a jumping off point, but you can tell that some people are just saying it to be like, "stop littering the board with your stupid question." Just because someone posts a dumb question will not stop the next person from posting something useful. Just ignore the first one. I don't think being rude is necessary.
 
@davisbr88 this thread made my day. lol. I feel you.

I have just gotten used to googling lhcf threads and even that isn't as effective as it used to be for some reason. But I feel you. I get really aggravated at that attitude especially because as you pointed out, one is not forced to read any thread. I always feel bad when I can't answer a question after I've taken the time to read the post, because I have no way of helping a poster who may have gotten the "we already talked about this 10 months ago...where were you?" response with not even so much as a link to the discussion. I'm also 99.9% of the time not even in the mood to ask a question because I fear that response. I shouldn't have to preface any statement with "i left no stone unturned in my search for this answer, but can't seem to find what I'm looking for, perhaps i'm looking in the wrong places". But like other ladies have said, that is the nature of a forum. I'm beginning to realize that.

I sometimes wonder if we all pay to post, why am I feeling as though as soon as I post something for the sake of helping someone I will be stink eyed for stating the obvious response (the one which has YET to be given to the OP). It's like we're not allowed to be polite, answer questions, ask about a previously mentioned topic that was not expounded upon. I really like threads that are specific and get really overwhelmed by 1,000,000 paged threads that are very general about an issue. They aren't bad by any means and I thank the OP for starting them, but they should not be viewed as the only place to ask about the topic or receive answers, some people newbies and veterans alike just aren't able to process all that information and may be frustrated by sifting through so many pages just to find their particular query is not even discussed.

Oh, and this might be OT, but, I feel like as soon as I answer someone's question bluntly or to the best of my abilities, I kill threads. Like I wasn't supposed to answer the question or be honest about an issue. That right there is the only thing that really gets on my nerves. And it's the reason I even ramble, within my response I get caught up in saying all I can before the thread dies just so I can give any help to the poster. ugh, i just rambled. sorry. :blush:
 
I research thoroughly now. But when I started out way back when, this underground hair thing was overwhelming. I didn't know what folks were talking about. The acronyms and lingo are sometimes not easily searchable. You can't google "MBL" and figure out what people are talking about. I admit, I asked a lot of redundant questions, but I soon found my way and was able to research on my own. It was thanks to those patient ladies who escorted me during my training wheel stages.

BUT..

Some people just want to be spoonfed EVERYTHING. Now when it gets to that point, I can understand the frustration and wanting to suggest they research.
 
I completely agree. I'm probably not going to answer a question about why people moisturize and seal, because that is easily found and you can find a plethora of info about it outside of LHCF. But I also am not gona take my time to smack her hand for not doing it. If people want to be spoonfed and people are willing to do so, so be it. I won't be one of them, but I'm also not going to try and make you feel dumb or lazy. I couldn't care less, but I just am not going to take my time to be a smart-a** in your thread. Nothing is more annoying than getting that email saying someone has replied to your thread only to find that statement ESPECIALLY if you DID do the research and just couldn't find that specific info.
 
davisbr88 said:
But that's what I'm saying. You try to provide a link when you can.
I'm very research-oriented too. I will stay up for hours trying to find something out because I love doing it. It's like therapy for me (that's why I'm getting a doctorate... lol).
And this part isn't directed to you; just to the thread in general:
But some people aren't like that, and it's not that I don't feel like they should go find out on their own, but I just don't see why you can't just ignore it.
Like there have been really elementary questions asked that you can easily find anywhere. I might not be inclined to answer it because I feel doing the work is part of your hair journey, but I'm also not going out of my way to make someone feel stupid.
Some people post to give people a jumping off point, but you can tell that some people are just saying it to be like, "stop littering the board with your stupid question." Just because someone posts a dumb question will not stop the next person from posting something useful. Just ignore the first one. I don't think being rude is necessary.
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While I appreciate you for starting this thread because it will help someone, those that you are trying to reach will ignore this in the belief that it does not apply to them. I see this everyday in my dealings with students as well as administration. It is human nature. It is how they are. And for some, the internet merely amplifies their ability to act this way.
 
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^^ Great point.
I just saw it said today and was like, "why do we do this to each other?" So I created the thread. Just getting it off my chest. It's been bugging me for a while now.
 
Amen Ladies! For this very reason I've decided that I don't need to renew my subscription. I love the info I get here but I do not feel comfortable posting threads or saying too much because (although it hasn't happened to me) I find people unnecessarily rude. However, there have been a few more voices complaining about this very thing lately so maybe just maybe people will self correct.
 
Americka said:
While I appreciate you for starting this thread because it will help someone, those that you are trying to reach will ignore this in the belief that it does not apply to them. I see this everyday in my dealings with students as well as administration. It is human nature. It is how they are. And for some, the internet merely amplifies the ability to act this way.
Click to expand...

This is so true---esp. in real life, I've noticed it too, the ones that we think should benefit from the message are the ones that don't think they need it at all, they think it applies to someone else so they ignore the message. I think we are all guilty of it in some aspects of our lives, thinking "this doesn't apply to me, but to so-and-so". That's why I try to work on me and let others work on themselves.
 
davisbr88 said:
But that's what I'm saying. You try to provide a link when you can.
I'm very research-oriented too. I will stay up for hours trying to find something out because I love doing it. It's like therapy for me (that's why I'm getting a doctorate... lol).
And this part isn't directed to you; just to the thread in general:
But some people aren't like that, and it's not that I don't feel like they should go find out on their own, but I just don't see why you can't just ignore it.
Like there have been really elementary questions asked that you can easily find anywhere. I might not be inclined to answer it because I feel doing the work is part of your hair journey, but I'm also not going out of my way to make someone feel stupid.
Some people post to give people a jumping off point, but you can tell that some people are just saying it to be like, "stop littering the board with your stupid question." Just because someone posts a dumb question will not stop the next person from posting something useful. Just ignore the first one. I don't think being rude is necessary.
Click to expand...


I agree wholeheartedly and not because I am thin skinned or afraid of getting my feelings hurt -- I just question why someone would go out of their way to make someone feel stupid or bad. Now, just so that we are clear, I am not one of those who believe "there is no such thing as a stupid question" -- because I am asked many of them on a daily basis. However I can choose whether I respond to them. I believe many have become so intolerant of everything and need to be reminded that it's not that serious....if you don't want to respond to a question just ignore the question before you provide a negative response.
 
Why do people have to be so snarky sometimes?

Its because some women are just plain B****es. They are everywhere...like cockroaches :drunk:
 
I guess I am guilty, because I posted that just yesterday. It was about someone's hair pics. I said something along the line of... Someone has posted pics of her hair before. She has really lovely hair though....paraphrasing, of course. I acknowledge that it's been posted before so others know, but I always follow with my opinion. When I'm interested in a thread and someone says it has been posted about before I sometimes do a search for it.

As far as telling people to do a search, I don't do that. I can understand how a newbie can get frustrated by that. When I joined, I noticed that people would always say, "do a search" when someone posted a new thread. :blah: When someone bumped an old thread some people would ask, "Who bumped this old *ss thread?" :blah: Lose, lose...
 
THEDONROSSCOLLECTION said:
Why do people have to be so snarky sometimes?

Its because some women are just plain B****es. They are everywhere...like cockroaches :drunk:
Click to expand...

Dang! Lol.

TamedTresses said:
I guess I am guilty, because I posted that just yesterday. It was about someone's hair pics. I said something along the line of... Someone has posted pics of her hair before. She has really lovely hair though....paraphrasing, of course. I acknowledge that it's been posted before so others know, but I always follow with my opinion. When I'm interested in a thread and someone says it has been posted about before I sometimes do a search for it.

As far as telling people to do a search, I don't do that. I can understand how a newbie can get frustrated by that. When I joined, I noticed that people would always say, "do a search" when someone posted a new thread. :blah: When someone bumped an old thread some people would ask, "Who bumped this old *ss thread?" :blah: Lose, lose...
Click to expand...

Yeah, that "do a search" answer is annoying.
I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing that the topic has been discussed, but at least provide something after it that will contribute if you're going to respond! I wouldn't have considered your response unnecessary.
And bumping an old thread shows that someone did the research and wants a fresh take or an update, so that comment is really snarky imo.
 
Im nowhere NEAR new and I ask questions KNOWING its prolly been asked 50-11 times already and I dont care if the search function is working at the time or not. *shrug* Its my prerogative to ask what I want so I ask it. Newbies have that same right. If folks dont like it they ALWAYS have the option to just KIM. Thats not hard to do but somehow it seems to be mission impossible for some people.
 
davisbr88 said:
Lol... that IS kinda cool, by the way. Might have to bookmark that page!
If only the LHCF search was as effective as Google... :ohwell:
Click to expand...

You can use google to search only on Long Hair Care Forum (or any site for that matter)

put you keywords into google and then add "site:longhaircareforum.com" at the end. That will restrict the search to just one site. I do all my searches on LHCF like this.

example I typed directly into google search:

how to moisturize and seal site:longhaircareforum.com

This method of searching has really helped me a lot.
 
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