See...this is why I don't tell people about LHCF

[Anashja]

I totally agree. I have tried to school my family about LHCF and they all start trying to dissect ethnicity and that "black people's hair" dont grow that long or she is "mixed' and I just smh because when I first got on LHCF I was encouraged to get my hair to those lengths not say 'its not possible -she's not black"... so began my natural hair journ3y. ... Now they look at my hair and they expect me to apply heat to my kinks and coils (straightening) and when I dont they ask "well its long enough just relax it" ...Im like I didnt get this long to put in a relaxer. Im at SL after a year and a half... bout 2 inches off from APL...

I cant wait to reach my hair goal to show them -- YES IT CAN BE DONE!!! ... LHCF has given me so much info... its definitely not a secret but some people just dont want to accept it. Like diet and exercise...

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Girl some people just don't care about their hair the way we do, I have asked many ladies who are shoulder or neck length, and I have asked them why they won't let their hair grow out, and they always say, "my hair won't grow that long" and I'm like "yea right" but I don't say nothing out loud, so the information is out there, if I can find it, I know they can, they just have to invest time to research, I don't help people unless they ask for it, because I don't want to seem rude. Many women are sensitive about their hair, I know I am.

 

[beans4reezy]

At the end of the day- different strokes for different folks. Not everyone is interested in hair. Think of it like this: what if she gave you info on joining a fashion website, suggesting that your wardrobe needed a refresher? You'd think it was mighty presumptious of her, wouldn't you? You probably came off that way to her.

I never offer avice unless I am asked.

 

[ckisland]

At the end of the day- different strokes for different folks. Not everyone is interested in hair. Think of it like this: what if she gave you info on joining a fashion website, suggesting that your wardrobe needed a refresher? You'd think it was mighty presumptious of her, wouldn't you? You probably came off that way to her.

I never offer avice unless I am asked.

That's such a good way to look at it. My Mom doesn't know a thing about hair care, but she'll proceed to tell me what I should do with my hair (use oil sheen and pick it out) because she doesn't like how it looks that day. I never give advice that isn't asked for. The person has to be at least complaining about their hair or something before I start giving them a run down on cowashing and dcing .

 

[Missjae09]

I know the feeling!!! I get so tired of talking to people who ask me for advice and then telling me what their hair will and won't do when they've never even tried it! I have 4a/b hair which is the hair type of most of the people I get questions from. I tell them what products to try and what to do to get the look they are after only for them to shoot it down.. and I'm thinking.. Ok, I know what I'm talking about from experience but you are sitting here telling me what your hair can't do and you've never even tried it. I personally have given up on trying to educate people.. if they ask a question I'll answer that question but I'm not going to go into details unless they express that they really want to know.

 

[diadall]

I stay out of people's hair business. Just as I you may not want a white person to talk about your hair (ask questions, compliment on "natural", touch), some don't want anyone even if they are trying to help.

 

[BostonMaria]

I didn't know terms like "natural" prior to my natural hair journey. That's probably the reason why I'd google hair care and nothing relevant would come up.

4 years ago if you had asked me what I used to moisturize my hair I may have either been puzzled OR I would have said Do Gro LOL

I say keep talking to her and if she asks for help give her some good advice. That Pink stuff is just gross.

 

[drappedup]

I get that you were only trying to help her out, but at the same time it's pointless to go out of your way to advise people on their haircare. Maybe it's just me, but I don't like trying to butt into personal stuff like that (i.e. trying to suggest someone struggling with weight some solutions, for example, etc.). I know I've gotten someone trying to give me "tips" and stuff about make up....though I don't wear any....("you should wear eyeliner.....every girl should wear eyeliner!")....it was kind of annoying and pushy, honestly. Maybe that's how she received your comments. I'd just offer help if someone asks, and keep it simple. Most casual females are just not THAT interested in hair....enough to post on a forum about it, you know? Hell, I WASN'T up until this year when I joined this forum. A year ago I would have surfed this site for 5 minutes then clicked off, forgetting all about it....

 

[drappedup]

At the end of the day- different strokes for different folks. Not everyone is interested in hair. Think of it like this: what if she gave you info on joining a fashion website, suggesting that your wardrobe needed a refresher? You'd think it was mighty presumptious of her, wouldn't you? You probably came off that way to her.

I never offer avice unless I am asked.

Yep, exactly! Exactly what I was trying to say in my last post. It can kind of come off as pushy, and as you said, presumptuous to offer advice that was not asked for in the first place. I've firsthand had it happen to me, like I said with the make up, and I've even had it offered about school subjects before, and it is kind of annoying as the person who has to sit back and be WTF I didn't ask for help?! That's why I mind my own business, lol. I'm taking an intermediate algebra class right now (yeah, totally missed college algebra by 2 points! -__-'), and honestly most of the class is worse than I am with understanding the concepts and how to solve the equations. I'm always finishing the work early and just sitting back to wait for the next chapter of notes, and I overhear the girls at my table or at the next table over struggling with the work all the time....but I mind my own business. I don't offer help unless they ask, which they do sometimes.....sometimes they don't, because they figure it out on their own. I let the person decide if they want the advice when it comes to stuff. Same with other things like fashion, hair, weight loss, exercise, etc. Unless it's a close friend or family member, in which case i may lightly offer a tip or something, but overall I ZIP IT!

It's just safer to mind your own business unless someone seeks your words, you know?

 

[chicacanella]

lol I gave up on pressing other people of LHCF. I think out of all my friends that Ive told, my mom is the only 1 that has taken heed (sp?). I mean its just like another poster put it a while back. Some things some people just dont care about. Like we all care about our hair so thats why we're here, but not everyone is like that. Just like some people want 6 pack abs but others could care less and will just eat a cheeseburger and call it a day u know

Yeah, you are so right about the gym and cheeseburger thing. I think that as an African-American woman, many of us want to tell other black women about the gem we've found because we'd want someone to tell us. I wish someone would have told me in high school and I would've checked it out! I remember for the longest in 2005 I used to try to get on LHCF but couldn't until late 05'.

But I think it;s like how some women are comfortable with wearing those Body Magic garments for their stomach but then when it's off looking like a can of busted Pillsbury Dough. I would wear a Body Magic on the way to making sure when it's off, my stomach is together.

Some black women are comfortable wearing a 24' inch weave with 6 inches of hair underneath and never attempting to get their real hair to that length. But then there are "us"; the LHCF crew.