Saddened by the Unpopular Hair Opinions Thread

[macherieamour]

Im not gonna lie. I was slightly bothered by the Unpopular Hair Opinions thread last night. It started off nice enough and was started with good intentions. But after a while, I started getting saddened by some of the comments. Making comments about how many photos people have in their fotkis, not truly having enough hair to make bra strap length, when you should have update photos, what determines “true texturized and natural hair”, I mean it just seemed a way to indirectly attack members of the board without telling them to their face. Im sure there were plenty of people reading these comments who felt horrible and embarassed.

Its easy to say, “don’t be so sensitive” or “I wasn’t talking about you” but we are all sensitive about our hair. We are WOMEN. If someone talks about a “detailed product heavy regimen” or “just because you have long hair doesn’t mean you should give advice” naturally Im gonna think you are talking about me.

Lets all remember that we are all in different stages of hair growth and experimentation. Can we try to not make judgments about each other’s regimens, signatures, fotkis or styling preferences? This includes me. I commented on the thread and if I offended anyone, I apologize. We are all here to learn from each other. I always felt like this is board built on applauding efforts, not criticizing decisions.

 

[firecracker]

Dang it got ugly in there too?

 

[JewelleNY]

Wow, Macherieamour, I was just about to post something similar. There are so many posts that say the exact opposite of each other and really, these are just people's opinions, which sometimes I think are best kept to oneself. The whole thread comes off as a little judgemental and this is supposed to be an open forum for women to get help with their hair woes. I was surprised the thread grew so long

 

[OneInAMillion]

I couldn't have said it better Macherie. It started off as products and techniques that go against the grain here, and turned into a venting session about other members. Apparently I can't give hair advice because I'm not at brastrap, got too many pictures in my Fotki, and am committing some evil by texturizing . (No one attacked me, just exaggerating ladies).

It's all good though. The problem is that most of this site is made up of unpopular hair opinions, and those are what attract us here erplexed .

 

[myco]

I confess that I only read the first page and the last page of the thread, but that just seemed like an exercise in fostering ill will. I didn't read more because I just don't see how it can end well.

There are tons of threads here about how non-LHCF'ers dog and degrade some of the things that we do here and how they don't know any better. It just seems a little disingenuous, to turn around and do the same thing to each other.

What works for one may not work for another - so there's no need to come at someone sideways.

 

[Priss Pot]

I agree...especially with the comment that Sistaslick made about blonde not looking good on everyone. Considering I'm one of the very very very very few ladies on LHCF who has very light colored hair (due to dye jobs), I sorta felt like that comment was about me, even though it probably wasn't in reference to me (I can't assume). ::shrugs:: everyone's entitled to their own opinions though. I can't spend my life trying to please everyone.

 

[An_Original_Copy]

Well as I've posted before, my hair used to be 3" long AND w/ bald spots. I've come a long way and now I'm @ bra-strap. My point in mentioning this is that when my hair was 3" long, I found a 10" strand of hair in my head! I was so excited, and felt that if one hair could grow that long, then ALL of them eventually could. This is why I was kind of hurt when someone made the comment about "only a few strands of hair at bra-strap don't equal bra-strap:. Well guess what? If a few strands can get to bra-strap, then they ALL can eventually. We need to stop raining on people's parades...

 

[firecracker]

Wow!
I have not read it and I will not after this thread.

 

[Sistaslick]

okay . . . wow . . . now I feel guilty.

I agree with Oneinamillion--- the site itself is made up and based on unpopular opinions that work. And awwww Miss TSU! I can assure you I was not talking about you at or anyone else all I would never intentionally call anyone out. If I knew someone would think I was pointing them out specifically I would have never posted in there. I hope you understand that I am beyond sorry, TSU

Back into lurkdom I shall I go.

 

[HoneyDew]

macherie,

i agree. I read a few pages before I closed it.

 

[so1913]

Yeah, it did start to get a little "mean" and a way of people "indirectly" attacking other members...

I know I laughed at a couple early on, and then I noticed the turn in tone the thread was taking...

Then I remember.....we are a forum of females, women... that's just how we get sometimes...

Don't let it get to you! You are here initially for your own benefit and for help in reaching your hair goals. For every person that "can't stand you" for what ever reasons listed in the "unpopular hair opinions thread"...there is someone that is grateful for your membership because you are helping them out tremendously in them reaching their hair goals.

 

[Poohbear]

Oh wow! Now I see what you're talking about macherieamour. I only read the first page yesterday and didn't visit the thread again until I saw this thread that you created. Some of the posts in that thread are bothersome.

Well, lets look at it this way...it is called the 'unpopular' hair opinions, so the majority of the people here don't think the same way as expressed in that thread.

 

[KhandiB]

You Betta DOnt

Look something someone says is gonna offend somebody sometimes..

you cant always be tip toe'n through the lillies cuz someones feelings might get hurt..

Now there was ALOT of jabbing in there, that was uncalled for. BUT.. Outside of someone saying KhandiB, your fotki is wack and can you please stop taking pics every month and you need to go head and clip those ends, I take it with a grain of salt..

I know some of us are more sensitive than others, but people are always gonna be more sensitive to their own plight more than others, but thats Okay.. I mean Naturals and Relaxa's ( ) think different in general so there is gonna be some "jabbing" here and there..

There is always alot of subliminal jabbing goin on all up and through here

JM2C ..

okay . . . wow . . . now I feel guilty.

I agree with Oneinamillion--- the site itself is made up and based on unpopular opinions that work. And awwww Miss TSU! I can assure you I was not talking about you at or anyone else all I would never intentionally call anyone out. If I knew someone would think I was pointing them out specifically I would have never posted in there. I hope you understand that I am beyond sorry, TSU

Back into lurkdom I shall I go.

 

[HoneyDew]

okay . . . wow . . . now I feel guilty.

I agree with Oneinamillion--- the site itself is made up and based on unpopular opinions that work. And awwww Miss TSU! I can assure you I was not talking about you at or anyone else all I would never intentionally call anyone out. If I knew someone would think I was pointing them out specifically I would have never posted in there. I hope you understand that I am beyond sorry, TSU

Back into lurkdom I shall I go.

You better not!!!

 

[HoneyDew]

Oh wow! Now I see what you're talking about macherieamour. I only read the first page yesterday and didn't visit the thread again until I saw this thread that you created. Some of the posts in that thread are bothersome.

Well, lets look at it this way...it is called the 'unpopular' hair opinions, so the majority of the people here don't think the same way as expressed in that thread.

good way to look at it.

I do agree with some of the things in that thread, but when I read someone posting that protective styles are a waste of time, I was like

But, then I thought, was she posting that because she agrees or disagrees. The thread just got confusing after a while.

 

[Sistaslick]

You better not!!!

I should have known better though, as easy as my own feelings are to hurt. I just deleted my posts in there.

 

[HighlyFavored1]

I think the thread was just people having a little fun, but not calling anybody out. All of us are here working on our hair, and I think everyone has something to contribute -- their opinion. We can all learn from eachother, and as long as people don't get viciously personal, we should be able to joke with eachother. Besides, for every one person who finds it funny when they see your bun from 20 angles, there are probably 10 others who check your fotki every week.

And macherie, I'm pretty sure 98% of us here think your hair is simply gawwgeous and quite a few of us have started using your prepooing with a hot towel method, etc...

And sistaslick, please don't duck back into lurkdom, we need you!

And for the record, unless one of us is one of the head researchers at Soft Sheen Carson, we're all just giving our opinions/suggestions for healthy hair practices that worked for us. Waist length, three years, newbies, naturals, relaxed, we're all in a similar boat. And we're all in the same forum!

 

[sareca]

I agree...especially with the comment that Sistaslick made about blonde not looking good on everyone. Considering I'm one of the very very very very few ladies on LHCF who has very light colored hair (due to dye jobs), I sorta felt like that comment was about me, even though it probably wasn't in reference to me (I can't assume). ::shrugs:: everyone's entitled to their own opinions though. I can't spend my life trying to please everyone.

I think Sista's comment implied that it works for some, just not everybody. I think your color is very pretty and I'm usually of that same school of thought.

 

[Allandra]

Im not gonna lie. I was slightly bothered by the Unpopular Hair Opinions thread last night. It started off nice enough and was started with good intentions. But after a while, I started getting saddened by some of the comments.

I think it started off as on ok thread, then it starting getting kind of rude.

 

[MissYocairis]

macherie,

i agree. I read a few pages before I closed it.

I was done at the first page....the brastrap comment and I was like, "ah, here we go again with the veiled insults"

 

[Priss Pot]

Sistaslick, it's ok. I wasn't totally sure if the comment was directed towards me, but I just made note of how it could have. I didn't want to quickly assume something that might not be true. And it IS true that blonde doesn't look great on everyone. Me personally, I like my color, but as of now I just want my natural shiny black back. Anyhoo, I realize that on that Unpopular Opinions board, I may have said something that probably offended someone. If I did, then I sincerely apologize and take responsibility for my actions. I guess towards the end of the board, we got a bit sidetracked and digressed from the true topic at hand "Unpopular Opinions." Opinions that one normally doesn't hear, such as "grease is good." Let's get back to what we're focused on, which is healthy hair. Everything is good with me, and Sistaslick, there's no harm done :-D

 

[aileenadq]

Lets all remember that we are all in different stages of hair growth and experimentation. Can we try to not make judgments about each other’s regimens, signatures, fotkis or styling preferences? This includes me. I commented on the thread and if I offended anyone, I apologize. We are all here to learn from each other. I always felt like this is board built on applauding efforts, not criticizing decisions.

OK: I AM going to make a judgement, although I did not participate in that thread: Your hair is GORGEOUS (you are, too!) . Clearly, what you are doing is SO working, and I make these same kind of judements (good and not so good) all the time. The difference between the good and bad is that I don't always articulate the not so nice ones. There is SO much truth to the old axiom, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Although I've beem here 2+ years, I don't know any of you well enough to give the "hard" advice I might give to a good friend. So, no, I don't think we should be negative at all, unless directly asked. And even then, tact is always called for.

When I read through the first page of the thread I thought it was going to be along the lines of, "I still use heat/grease/Pantene (insert no no here) and my hair is thriving" kind of thread.

 

[Denim And Leather]

I did post about some bra-strap length pics not looking full bra strap (and I still stand by that, but I do agree that I should've said it differently, or maybe not have said anything at all, I definitely wasn't nice in the way I said it, and for that I am sorry for that remark and offending anyone. ) And someone posted that some of us have jacked up ends that need to be trimmed (and my ends do need to be trimmed, but when I'm ready to have them done, lol!) And a couple of people also posted that some of the Fotki's aren't all that (my pics are nothing to write home about, either, but hey, no one's perfect, and if they don't like my album, that's their choice.)

The one thing that did bother me is that someone posted about just because someone has long hair, everyone shouldn't flock to them for advice. I totally disagree with that. Nothing against the short haired ladies, either, because I know they have some great hair care advice as well, but there's a goal I'm trying to reach here with my hair, in regards to its health and length, and if I see someone with long, healthy hair, you better believe I'm going to read what they do to their hair and seek their advice to get it the length they got it, to get it healthy, etc. because they're obviously doing something that I need to be doing, in order to get my hair to the length of theirs, that I wasn't doing previously before coming here to this board.

So perhaps, things did get a little out of hand, but that will happen when you have a message board as large as this one, things like this are bound to happen. I didn't agree with everyone's opinions on there, just like I know some people won't agree with mine, and that's fine, we're all adults.

Sistaslick, you better not go anywhere! I don't think your post was meant to call anyone out, nor did I take offense, because it's true, blonde hair does not look good on everyone (I once bleached my hair, and yikes! )

 

[amy1234]

I could care less about what other people think of me....

 

[Sistaslick]

Sistaslick, it's ok. I wasn't totally sure if the comment was directed towards me, but I just made note of how it could have. I didn't want to quickly assume something that might not be true. And it IS true that blonde doesn't look great on everyone. Me personally, I like my color, but as of now I just want my natural shiny black back. Anyhoo, I realize that on that Unpopular Opinions board, I may have said something that probably offended someone. If I did, then I sincerely apologize and take responsibility for my actions. I guess towards the end of the board, we got a bit sidetracked and digressed from the true topic at hand "Unpopular Opinions." Opinions that one normally doesn't hear, such as "grease is good." Let's get back to what we're focused on, which is healthy hair. Everything is good with me, and Sistaslick, there's no harm done :-D

Great! I just didn't want you to walk away thinking i was talking about you-- or anyone else specifically. In fact, I was surprised when you felt called out b/c on my computer, you look more of a reddish/golden tone than the platinum blonde I was thinking when I said blonde isn't for everybody. I've never seen anyone on the board with the blonde I was referring to unless I missed it, thats why I felt it was safe to go there. . . . but it was obviously a grave miscalculation on my part. Thanks for accepting my apology

 

[sareca]

I think some of that stuff needed to be said. Personally I don't mind 20 strands below BS, or a thousand passwords, but I like knowing it peeves other people. I also liked knowing who shares who's mentality. That was beyond cool. I was like, whoa, people here are even grumpy about that same stuff I'm grumpy about. That's cool, right? I felt closer to the board. I realize I'm in the minority on this one, but I'm also sure somebody is going as they read along.

 

[1QTPie]

Why y'all read and contributed after the first page is beyond me. But why take something personal that may or may not be directed toward you anyway? Who careswhat other people think, especially if it's something negative. Get thicker skin, swing your hair and keep it moving.

 

[caribeandiva]

yes i posted the comment about how i think protective styles are a waste of time. that's my opinion not a fact. anyway the thread was about UNPOPULAR opinions. i knew i was gonna step on a lot of toes when i said that. some of the comments on that thread i could identify with but none hurt my feelings though (the thread wasn't meant to). oh well that's life. you move on.

 

[~Nigeria~]

I did start this thread all in fun. I saw it on another board and thought “hey that might be cool to start here”. But people seem to always get offending one way or another. I have accepted that everyone is not going to agree with a thread or post here… It’s just impossible. That's why I didn't even address the star rating, cause I already expected it. I was certainly not TRYING to be rude. It's like you can only speak freely if you don't step on anyone's toes. Well, I can't speak for anyone else but I apologize if I offended anyone with my thread and/or opinion. It was not intended.

 

[MissYocairis]

It's interesting how everyone's saying, "don't be so sensitive" or "you shouldn't care what other folks' think" however many of the opinions in the thread are overly-sensitive IMHO. If it irks you that someone has 20 strands that reach brastrap.....isn't that taking it a bit far? If it irks or annoys you that someone has a lot of fotki pics? Why? Doesn't the same principle of personal self-expression apply there as well? Because it's not the way YOU would have done it, suddenly it's annoying?