Romance to Reality. I don't need you to be prince charming.

[AnnDriena_]

Everytime I have a discussion about men with my co workers mens lack of romance comes up. I have one co worker who is married to a very nice man but he is not romantic. She married him that way and now wants romance. I don't think this is fair to him. Me personally I have always said and will continue to scream it off the rooftops.

I don't want to get married while I'm googly eyed from the smell of roses and gifted perfume. I want to get married right at the point weve come to know the ins and outs of each other enough to know what we will and will not tolerate from each other.

I don't want you pouring on the charm that will wilt soon after the wedding. It's fake if it's not you then don't do it. Let me know what I'm really getting. You never know what I can and can't handle and If I can't handle it then I don't deserve some bait and switch.

Personally if I want a candlelit dinner I'll make one and let you know your butt better be there. Even if you don't plan them you need to be willing to enjoy one with me. If I want roses I'll write it down on your calendar and you need to show up with them.

I'm pretty straight forward in what I want and I have enough romance in me to lead the way with him. But what I need is for him to be someone with integrity and to be trustworthy. But too many times these traits fall by the wayside while we are starry eyed and gaga over mister tall dark and handsome but by the time we wake up and smell the coffee we've lost time.

I'm not one for wasting time. Is there anyone like me out there?

 

[LBoogie]

Quesshin.....why are you discussing romance with your co-workers?

Save those convo's for your friends. Getting too cozy with co-workers can be waaaay too messy, especially when you DO come up on Mr. Right.

 

[AnnDriena_]

Men and dating is a popular topic in our office. Some of these women I find to be a bit sad as they are so lonely they'll tolerate anything. But it's an interesting topic so we discuss it.

 

[MizzBrown]

Even if they are romantic in the beginning, do they stay that way?

I call it the "honeymoon" period of a relationship. You do any and everything to get the girl and once he has you and yall are considered official, then all the romance stops.

No more opening your car door, calling you at night to make sure you got in okay, no more flowers, gifts, etc.

His true self comes out...then you decide if you can deal with that...FOR LIFE.

Theres a lot of ladies on this board who have husbands that are/were romantic from day one to the present.

I've noticed the change in my relationships and have had fights about it and i feel that if you open my car door the first 10 dates and did everything to GET me, then keep doing those things to KEEP me.

 

[Raspberry]

Even if they are romantic in the beginning, do they stay that way?

I call it the "honeymoon" period of a relationship. You do any and everything to get the girl and once he has you and yall are considered official, then all the romance stops.

No more opening your car door, calling you at night to make sure you got in okay, no more flowers, gifts, etc.

His true self comes out...then you decide if you can deal with that...FOR LIFE.

Theres a lot of ladies on this board who have husbands that are/were romantic from day one to the present.

I've noticed the change in my relationships and have had fights about it and i feel that if you open my car door the first 10 dates and did everything to GET me, then keep doing those things to KEEP me.

Hmm interesting..

Do think that being very good friends with a man before marriage makes a difference? Like I would want my man to call to check on me if I"m out because he cares about me as a close friend, not just because he wants to romance me ya know? I'm the type to buy friends and family gifts or go out of my way for them because I love them as friends and family- I want my future DH to think of me the same way.

 

[Ramya]

Hmm interesting..

Do think that being very good friends with a man before marriage makes a difference? Like I would want my man to call to check on me if I"m out because he cares about me as a close friend, not just because he wants to romance me ya know? I'm the type to buy friends and family gifts or go out of my way for them because I love them as friends and family- I want my future DH to think of me the same way.

I think it does. I don't see calling to check on me, opening doors and helping me downstairs as romantic. That's something that men are SUPPOSED to do. My friends do that anyway and they go above and beyond for me. I expect the same and more from my future DH.

I see couples all the time who have been married for 20/30 years who are still romantic with one another. Romance is just letting me know you were thinking of me. There's no Prince Charming in that, that is real life.

 

[MizzBrown]

Hmm interesting..

Do think that being very good friends with a man before marriage makes a difference? Like I would want my man to call to check on me if I"m out because he cares about me as a close friend, not just because he wants to romance me ya know? I'm the type to buy friends and family gifts or go out of my way for them because I love them as friends and family- I want my future DH to think of me the same way.

No I dont.

Honeymoon can still wear off.

If he wasn't raised that way then he will not do those things.

Some folks are thoughtful like that and some are just not, whether they are family or your husband.

Your version of romance can be very different from his anyway.

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

Maybe I a weird woman...

I'm a soooooooooooooooooooooo not into romance at all!!

I don't want him to be inconsiderate..just not romantic!!

I really don't want a man to stare passionately in my eyes..and make google eyes at me.. perplexederplexed

I don't want to sit across from him during a candlelight dinner that he cooked for me..while we sip wine..listening to Sade or Maxwell..I think it's cheesy!

I don't like PDA, or holding hands...My idea of a good time must be really strange to everyone reading this.

When I was younger, I told my mom this stuff..and she was like you'll grow out of it..I'm 26 now..going on 27. It's my personality!

Oddly enough, I have turned men off with my disdain for romance which is fine..because I prefer a guy that can make me laugh versus romance any day!