Relaxing the children.

[MeccaMedinah]

when they are old enough (18+) to make the decision then they can do what they want. But I don't think mentally kids or young teens are ready to make that kind of decision.

The TRUTH! And I guess we shouldn't even bring up the fact that a relaxer is a chemical & why would we want to unnecessarily expose a child to it.

 

[Tru_Mind]

So can you really blame the chemicals or the parent? Caring for a child's relaxed hair takes just as much work as caring for their natural hair. The child's head would be a mess either way if the parent wasn't properly caring for it. If adults can have healthy, relaxed heads of hair I don't see why children can't.

My point was that if my aunt didn't really take care of my cousins natural hair she should have never put a relaxer in it, which gave her more problems.

Yes, I'm blaming the chemicals and the parent. Those chemicals are too harsh. Not every adult can take those chemicals. Also, even though my aunt didn't comb her hair on a daily bases my cousins natural hair still looked much better and was in much better condition than it is now. It's easier to re-condition natural hair than chemically processed hair. All her mom did was deep condition her natural her to get it back to normal...that's not working as well with her relaxed hair...and she rarely uses direct heat.

If adults can have healthy, relaxed heads of hair I don't see why children can't.

I'm sure that nobody here disagrees with you, but the fact is that some parents don't take care of their girls hair like they take care of their own hair. If they do...than it's fine...and I know that some parents send their girls straight to a stylists, because they know that they can't take good care of their girls hair...that's fine too. However, those chemicals are too harsh for adults imagine what it does to kids hair and scalp...it doesn't even give it a chance to fully develope.

IMO, girls should be given a chance to learn and know their natural hair...what works and what doesn't...styles that work and styles that doesn't. In the long run, everything works out better that way. If they do decide to relax at an older age and it turns out that they don't love relaxers they already know what to expect from there natural hair...they already know what works and what doesn't, which makes the transitioning process much easier.

My aunt washed her hair once a week...don't know how often she wash my cousin's hair, but it wasn't once a week. My cousin's hair stays in a pony tail.

 

[CarLiTa]

So can you really blame the chemicals or the parent? Caring for a child's relaxed hair takes just as much work as caring for their natural hair. The child's head would be a mess either way if the parent wasn't properly caring for it. If adults can have healthy, relaxed heads of hair I don't see why children can't.

Haha... that's funny... but do you see the amount of TIME we spend taking care of our relaxed hair???? Natural hair is fragile, but relaxed hair is even worst! What child you know wouldn't mind staying home the whole day so that she could get a pre- poo, wash, deep condition, roller-set, and let it airdry? Don't you think she would rather go out and play?? Besides, if the kid had natural hair, the parents could braid her hair in plaits and leave it for a whole week, whereas you can't do that with relaxed hair? it would have to be in braid extensions that, if not washed constantly, would dry the poor kid's hair out like CRAZY! I personally think relaxed hair needs a LOT more attention than natural hair... only a few relaxed heads can achieve a wash and go, and a mother with a full lifestyle (i.e job, caring for the home, relax time, et) does not have time to care for both HER hair and her DAUGHTER'S THAT much... it's logical

 

[baglady215]

Haha... that's funny... but do you see the amount of TIME we spend taking care of our relaxed hair???? Natural hair is fragile, but relaxed hair is even worst! What child you know wouldn't mind staying home the whole day so that she could get a pre- poo, wash, deep condition, roller-set, and let it airdry? Don't you think she would rather go out and play?? Besides, if the kid had natural hair, the parents could braid her hair in plaits and leave it for a whole week, whereas you can't do that with relaxed hair? it would have to be in braid extensions that, if not washed constantly, would dry the poor kid's hair out like CRAZY! I personally think relaxed hair needs a LOT more attention than natural hair... only a few relaxed heads can achieve a wash and go, and a mother with a full lifestyle (i.e job, caring for the home, relax time, et) does not have time to care for both HER hair and her DAUGHTER'S THAT much... it's logical

I don't think I spend as more time on my hair than I would if I was natural, but that's just me. Even when I was relaxed as a kid, I had braids, plaits, cornrows, extentions, all of those things. Again, maybe it was me.

Anyway, I'm not saying that a parent SHOULD relax their daughter's hair, but I also don't think they should be chastised if they do. My point is either you are going to care for your child's hair or you're not. IF you choose to relax a child's hair, you will have to care for it the way it should be cared for. Whether that entails more or less care can be debated. So, if you choose to relax your child, you know what you need to do. On the flip side, if you choose to not relax, then you still need to care for her hair. It's not like natural hair automatically cares for itself.

 

[RushGirl]

My mother relaxed my hair when I was like 6 or 7.. and I wish she never would have.. she thinks straight hair is better for society..but she's a total snob and I disagree with the way she thinks..

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

I don't have kids yet, but when I do, I won't be relaxing my child's hair. I didn't get a relaxer until I was 18 and out of high school and it was by choice. My Mom didn't even want me to relax.

 

[lsubabiedee]

of course i voted nay. If a daughter of mine wanted a relaxer, she will be purchasing it with her own money and when she is older than 18. I truly think it's sickening to put strong chemicals such as relaxers on a child's hair. I do not like the message it is sending....and yes, it does send a message. I personally do not see any logical, nonaesthetic reason for relaxing a child's hair anyway.

 

[tropicexotic]

I love naps, and my child will have to as well...when they're old enough to buy their own things, pay their own bills and make their own decisions then they'll be able to, 'till then it's no relaxer for them.

Off topic: I told my friend about how relaxers have the same main ingredients as drano and he said his daughter won't be getting any relaxers either, I hope his wife doesn't have too many problems cuz of me lol.

 

[Valerie]

I relaxed my daughter's hair twice before she was twelve, but because I knew how to look after it with conditioning and everything, her hair was fine, but on hindsight, I would not relax her hair, let her wait until she is a young adult. Sometimes there is too much pressure on young girls to get their hair relaxed, especially from the many adverts aimed at young black females. However many of the girls on the boxes don't have relaxed hair at all, it is just blow dried for the advertisment.

 

[Valerie]

I should also mention that my hair has been natural last four years now.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

My sister just relaxed her 5yr old daughter's hair. I think it was a good idea. I guess i only wish she choose a texturizer instead of a relaxer, although she only left it on for like 5mins and dind't comb thru it. so technically it only texturized. My niece has some very tough hair and I've seen my sister struggle with washing it and trying to detangle and braid it up which took like 3hrs every single week because my sister is very into having her daughter look presentable with pretty braided hair and barettes. Now, my sister can wash her hair and braid it up in less than an hour and she gets like less than half the breakage that she got from detangling.

So we can sit here and turn up our noses and act like a relaxer is the devils child, but i think we all know that a relaxer is just as okay as someone choosing to color their hair or any other choice they make. It's the CARE that is important. Just as naturals have techniques they need to know about to retain their hair...relaxed people have techniques they need to know about also. The problem is THEY HAVEN"T BEEN EDUCATED with this knowledge. and that is why everyone's kids is running around with broken-off hair. and I agree, it really is a shame. but if their hair was natural, it still would be a mess because the parent's probably still would be uneducated or still wouldn't find the time to take care of it.......

 

[CarLiTa]

I don't think I spend as more time on my hair than I would if I was natural, but that's just me. Even when I was relaxed as a kid, I had braids, plaits, cornrows, extentions, all of those things. Again, maybe it was me.

Anyway, I'm not saying that a parent SHOULD relax their daughter's hair, but I also don't think they should be chastised if they do. My point is either you are going to care for your child's hair or you're not. IF you choose to relax a child's hair, you will have to care for it the way it should be cared for. Whether that entails more or less care can be debated. So, if you choose to relax your child, you know what you need to do. On the flip side, if you choose to not relax, then you still need to care for her hair. It's not like natural hair automatically cares for itself.

I completely agree with you. Natural hair still needs to get taken care of. The only thing is, relaxed hair is just more fragile because it's straight, and usually ends up thin and stuff like that. And, I should say, many women have not discovered LHCF yet, lol, let me stop. The first time I was relaxed, my hair was VERY well taken care of, but that was out of necessity. I washed once a week, conditioned, got a roller-set and spend the WHOLE day airdrying it. I was in Haiti, and I did my hair every Sunday after church, it's not like we had anywhere to go, so yeah my hair thrived. I was 11 at the time. But kids younger than ten would not have the patience and would rather run around playing; I know I did. It's when I turned 14 that everything went wrong, going to high-school and flat-ironing my hair nearly every day, for Lord knows what reason It's my fault that it deteriorated. I still think LITTLE kids couldn't handle relaxed hair, it's just too much work for them

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

That's part of the problem, parents relax their young childs hair thinking they don't have to take care of it anymore. I actually heard a little girl say that her mom doesn't have to do her hair anymore because she had just got it relaxed.

Pity to have that type of attitude. Relaxed hair is not easier hair it's just straighter hair. We must take care of our children's hair whether natural or relaxed!

 

[Country gal]

That's part of the problem, parents relax their young childs hair thinking they don't have to take care of it anymore. I actually heard a little girl say that her mom doesn't have to do her hair anymore because she had just got it relaxed.

Pity to have that type of attitude. Relaxed hair is not easier hair it's just straighter hair. We must take care of our children's hair whether natural or relaxed!

Parents are so lazy now adays or shall I say spoiled. We can just take little lakeshia to the beauty salon and call it a day. I love it when I see little girls sportin their natural hair. I had very thick hair growing up but my mom and aunts would take care of it. I njust think parents don't take the time to educate themselves on better ways of taking care of natural hair. We are quick to say it is nappy or bad. That stinking thinking about our children's hair translates to them that it is bad. We need to stop.

 

[Ayeshia]

Natural...I never saw the point.

 

[carletta]

I voted no. I have a 9yr old daughter. believe me there have been days I wish she did have a relaxer! But when I think about the chemicals and how MY hair has the occasional issue, I WILL NOT PUT HER TENDER HAIR THROUGH THAT KIND OF ABBUSE ! she has a beautiful grade of hair now that I learned how to maintain it. and by doing the regimen that I have for her now, her hair has grown by leaps & bounds !

 

[Shoediva]

I dont think children under 12 should have relaxers, but too each his own. I did consider a relaxer for my daughters hair for a hot minute, but I know her hair is still changing constantly as she is only 5 soon to be 6.

Think the initial thread stated children are dirty was worded a lil harsh. All kids are not dirty...Kids do tend to get dirty from playing, and due to kid routines and play habits, its all apart of growing up.

 

[hairmaster]

Parents are so lazy now adays or shall I say spoiled. We can just take little lakeshia to the beauty salon and call it a day. I love it when I see little girls sportin their natural hair. I had very thick hair growing up but my mom and aunts would take care of it. I njust think parents don't take the time to educate themselves on better ways of taking care of natural hair. We are quick to say it is nappy or bad. That stinking thinking about our children's hair translates to them that it is bad. We need to stop.

EVERYTHING TODAY IS INSTANT. COFFEE,SOUP,ANSWERS ON COMPUTERS, EVEN THE CURLING IRONS SAY INSTANT HEAT. THATS WHAT WE HAVE TAUGHT THE PARENTS OF THIS GENERATION. SO AS I POSTED EARLER WE WILLSEE THE RESULTS 5-10 YEARS FROM NOW. THE AFFECTS OF THE CHEMICALS AND THE AMOUNT OF TIME BONDING WITH OUR DAUGHTERS, THE TIME SPENT BETWEEN MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS WHEN THEY WERE DOING THEIR HAIR. I ONLY HOPE THAT IF YOU ARE RELAXING YOUR DAUGHTERS HAIR YOU ARE STILL TAKING TIME TO CARE FOR IT. .

 

[songbyrd517]

However many of the girls on the boxes don't have relaxed hair at all, it is just blow dried for the advertisment.

Are you serious? How do you know this? I would not put it past marketers, it is just very interesting. I always wondered if this may be the case. Tell me more!?

 

[Bunny77]

EVERYTHING TODAY IS INSTANT. COFFEE,SOUP,ANSWERS ON COMPUTERS, EVEN THE CURLING IRONS SAY INSTANT HEAT. THATS WHAT WE HAVE TAUGHT THE PARENTS OF THIS GENERATION. SO AS I POSTED EARLER WE WILLSEE THE RESULTS 5-10 YEARS FROM NOW. THE AFFECTS OF THE CHEMICALS AND THE AMOUNT OF TIME BONDING WITH OUR DAUGHTERS, THE TIME SPENT BETWEEN MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS WHEN THEY WERE DOING THEIR HAIR. I ONLY HOPE THAT IF YOU ARE RELAXING YOUR DAUGHTERS HAIR YOU ARE STILL TAKING TIME TO CARE FOR IT. .

ITA!

I was just talking on another board about memories of my mother doing my hair... and how it's something I really look back on fondly.

Here's the deal... we're talking children here. Children do not need to have hooked-up hairstyles. Children run around, play, get dirty, swim, etc... so all they need are neat, functionable hairstyles that allow them to do this.

Until about age 10, the only hairstyle I had was two, and maybe three plaits. I didn't need anything else (except for at Easter or some really "big" event). Only on those occasions might I get a press and curl with shirley temple curls.

In preschool/kindergarten/elementary school in the early 80s, I can't think of seeing hardly any girls who had relaxers. There were some jheri-curls, some press and curls, some cornrows and some plaits, but there wasn't this epidemic of broken-off heads of hair.

Something has happened and now we're deciding that it's "too difficult" to do natural hair, when in fact, it's a million times easier now than it was in our parents' and grandparents' day... yet somehow they made it work. We have these high tech oils, butters, cremes, shampoos, conditioners and blow dryers, while our great-grandmothers might have had some form of animal fat and some jacked-up combs and brushes... yet WE have the nerve to complain that natural hair care is difficult???

The fact is, too many parents are just plain LAZY and instead of spending some time to do their daughter's hair, they take the easy way out and slap a perm in it.

Yes, it was a lengthy process when my mom would wash, dry and braid my hair, but that only happened every three weeks or so. Then during the week, all she had to do was unbraid my plaits, brush and oil my hair a bit, then rebraid them with new barrettes and ribbons. Let's see, that took like, oh, 10 minutes every morning? How difficult is that? And I don't care if you're Bill Freaking Gates, you can make time to put your daughters' hair in a simple presentable style every morning.

If girls want relaxers entering their teenage years, that's a different story... but I don't see any reason for young girls to have their hair relaxed... or wear styles that are way too "grown" for them in the first place.

 

[MeccaMedinah]

Here's the deal... we're talking children here. Children do not need to have hooked-up hairstyles. Children run around, play, get dirty, swim, etc... so all they need are neat, functionable hairstyles that allow them to do this.

Until about age 10, the only hairstyle I had was two, and maybe three plaits. I didn't need anything else (except for at Easter or some really "big" event). Only on those occasions might I get a press and curl with shirley temple curls.

In preschool/kindergarten/elementary school in the early 80s, I can't think of seeing hardly any girls who had relaxers. There were some jheri-curls, some press and curls, some cornrows and some plaits, but there wasn't this epidemic of broken-off heads of hair.

Something has happened and now we're deciding that it's "too difficult" to do natural hair, when in fact, it's a million times easier now than it was in our parents' and grandparents' day... yet somehow they made it work. We have these high tech oils, butters, cremes, shampoos, conditioners and blow dryers, while our great-grandmothers might have had some form of animal fat and some jacked-up combs and brushes... yet WE have the nerve to complain that natural hair care is difficult???

The fact is, too many parents are just plain LAZY and instead of spending some time to do their daughter's hair, they take the easy way out and slap a perm in it.

I agree. And I want to add that another reason that mothers relax their child's head is because they don't want to see anything but straight hair. My daughter is almost 3. Her paternal grandmother told me that I should relax my baby's hair because her "texture is gone", her hair curls up instead of lying flat. She said if someone's edges are not straight they need to relax, regardless of age or how much damage a relaxer causes. This woman is brainwashed & crazy. And there are many woman out here that rather see a broken off semi-straight head of hair than a lush bushy full head of hair. I don't agree with relaxers, period.

 

[Spidergul]

I have chosen not to relax my daughter's hair for now because I can not devote the time that it will need in a relaxed state. She has very thick hair and it can be a pain to comb (her) (me) that's when relaxing comes to mind. She is 9 and she wants her hair relaxed-all of her girlfriends can wear the different styles that can be done if you have relaxed hair. I keep her hair in plaits most of the time or see if her cousins can braid it for me, I can't braid or cornroll. She does not like wash day usually Fri or Sat night and neither do I, but when I get my hands into her hair I am amazed it is thick, healthy, lush and beautiful. Her Aunty pressed her hair one day and it was so long, I was surprised! and proud When I wash her hair I keep a spray bottle with olive oil or some type of oil to keep it damp and mangeable. I plait it up at night and then the next night I take each plait down and flat iron it just enough to comb it with ease. Then I can style any way I want.
I am in the process of finding someone to press her hair, not just anyone...this is my babygirl, I want her to have natural hair down her back
I keep her products simple not like what I do to my hair. Sulphur 8 shampoo and hair grease. That's all, that's it.

 

[Jewell]

I don't have any children, but if I do ever have a daughter, I will not ever relax her hair.She can relax it if she wants when she gets grown (in other words, old enough to pay for it or do it herself). I will do it myself until then, and I will teach her how to maintain it. Maybe she won't want one. I regret that my mother slapped one in my head, because although I have learned to keep it healthy, I would much rather deal with my natural hair and be chemical free, which is why I am transitioning. *About the "my child has a weave" option on the poll... I was taken aback when I saw a 6 year old in Wal-mart with a weave ponytail.

 

[missyT]

When I have kids I will not be relaxing their hair. I will teach them to appreciate their natural hair. If they want to relax, it will not be under my household.

As for the pictures with those girls. That is what I commonly see in Central, Florida. Pretty much the NORM. Poor things...

I totally agree. Young black children need to realise that their natural hair is beautiful and that they don't need to have long flowing straight hair to be pretty.

I don't know whose children are posted in the pics but the pictures serve as a good illustration. I see it all the time and it makes me weep. My mum relaxed my hair when I was very very young and she still hasn't forgiven herself for the damage she did even though she thought she knew what she was doing at the time. Luckily, my mum never re-touched my hair.

I was shocked when I attended a wedding last year and they had relaxed the little flower girls' hair just for the wedding. WTF!

 

[CatSuga]

*About the "my child has a weave" option on the poll... I was taken aback when I saw a 6 year old in Wal-mart with a weave ponytail.

Click at your own risk.
http://www.shataribraid.com/Kids.htm
At the very bottom you can see her adding hair to the "baby diva".
Personally I feel that all of these styles are too adult looking for a child.

 

[landakaye]

I will say a big old H**L NO! My sisters step children have relaxed hair. Their mother is a hair stylists and doesnt take care of those babies' heads. As a result the 9 yr old looks like something has been gnawing at her hair. Its a real shame. They should just shave her head and start all over. That is how bad it is. YOu should never put chemical on a baby's hair. That should be their own decision as an adult.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

I bet those baby's heads were hurting in those pics, CatSuga

Look at the big spaces in this baby's head!!:

BTW, if any of you ladies have a difficult time combing your child's natural hair, give my mom a ring

 

[karezone]

My sister used to have a relaxer but that was about 4 years ago. We grew it out, it was too much trouble, and her hair was breaking. Now she has a head full of thick, bra strap length (if she had bra) hair.

She gets washed and lightly pressed every two weeks and wears it in cornrows. We will let her decide on a relaxer once she gets in the 7th or 8th grade.

 

[kombov_dymond]

Nope. I see so many little girls that HAD healthy hair before it was relaxed. Relaxed hair is really fragile and there is no way I'm relaxing my baby's hair before she can do it herself. Perhaps a press and curl by a professional, but no chemicals until she is a teen.

I JUST learned how to take care of my relaxed hair myself and I know I'm not the only one.

 

[LondonDiva]

That lil pickney in those photos at the bottom has no business having those tight a$$ extensions in her hair.