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Rant:Only taking advice from the longer hair board members.....

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I think people just like to take advice from people who are where they want to be. In all areas, not just hair.
 
I guess I will be the bad guy here...but yes, I *tend* to pay more attention to the ladies with longer hair (not that I completely discount those with shorter, healthy hair either). However, I am careful to pick up tips or I tend to pay more attention to the posts of the longer haired members because they've acheived palpable results. It's obvious that whatever they are doing - when it comes to retaining length -they are on top of their game.

I guess what I am saying is...I don't brush off the advice of my fellow shorter haired ladies but, the longer haired members...I pay special attention to... I guess it's a matter of varying degrees of attention (if that makes sense) when it comes to the two.

Continue to give your advice, because I am sure a lot of people on this board are benefiting from it. But for the few who brush you off- who cares? It sounds as if you may be taking this a little too personally.
 
Myjourney2009 said:
I was annoyed and I'm okay with that.

Long hair is my goal as well, as it many others here.

If its technique then I dont see why a person can't atleast take it into consideration.


When I am looking for technique I look at a persons hair and their progress.
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Myjourney2009

Exxxxactly. Those are the ladies that I personally am most impressed with. I just love to see progress.

And please don't put me on your ignore list, when you get wsl hair!:lachen:
 
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I don't see what the big deal is, people have the right to take the advice of whomever they please. If someone doesn't want to take my advice, I just KIM. What works for me doesn't always work for everyone else. No need to take it personal.
 
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FlowerHair said:
It's true. And some people only take advice from people with the same hair type as they have.

That's okay.
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You are right about that, however If I did that I would not have the regimen I have now.

I've even taken a page out of some natural hair books for my regimen.

I even think yours was one.

"applying oil after washing."

My hair kept breaking any time I applied a reg leave-in while air drying (thank goodness I was able to return to store)and one day I read your blog and coupled with another natural hair blogs routine "voila" oil did the trick.
 
beans4reezy said:
I guess I will be the bad guy here...but yes, I *tend* to pay more attention to the ladies with longer hair (not that I completely discount those with shorter, healthy hair either). However, I am careful to pick up tips or I tend to pay more attention to the posts of the longer haired members because they've acheived palpable results. It's obvious that whatever they are doing - when it comes to retaining length -they are on top of their game.

I guess what I am saying is...I don't brush off the advice of my fellow shorter haired ladies but, the longer haired members...I pay special attention to... I guess it's a matter of varying degrees of attention (if that makes sense) when it comes to the two.

Continue to give your advice, because I am sure a lot of people on this board are benefiting from it. But for the few who brush you off- who cares? It sounds as if you may be taking this a little too personally.
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I hear you.

Yes I did take it personally and thats okay with me. No, it wont stop me from posting though. I just felt the need to post about it.
 
OP I have been twirling the ends of my braids whenever I seal since last summer when I had one million single strand knots, I love you and who suggested me ceramides and stretching my hair. Forever.

By the way, for every person that doesn't take the advice there will be 50 reading and trying it out or finding it through the search button in 1 year, this is what I like of this place: I learned a lot watching other people's threads.
 
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I look listen and soak every advice and try to 'try out' as much as possible. Its from bandwagons I found my staples and what my hair doesnt like!
 
Myjourney2009 said:
To answer your question, no, but i know when I am being ignored or brushed off.
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But how? Is it by the number of "Thanks" you get compared to a long-haired poster in a thread, or is it because posters aren't responding to your posts as much as others with longer hair? Or is it purely a feeling that you have? Just trying to understand...
 
ciccina said:
OP I have been twirling the ends of my braids whenever I seal since last summer when I had one million single strand knots, I love you and who suggested me ceramides and stretching my hair. Forever.

By the way, for every person that doesn't take the advice there will be 50 reading and trying it out or finding it through the search button in 1 year, this is what I like of this place: I learned a lot watching other people's threads.
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Wow I did not think anyone took away from my post about twirling the ends when I wrote about it last year. Thanks.

I wrote a complete thread about it and need to put up the video or slideshow.

You know you're right, there are many people reading that are taking suggestions from all of us. I just felt like putting on my little girl pants and throwing an i-tantrum LOL
 
Poohbear said:
But how? Is it by the number of "Thanks" you get compared to a long-haired poster in a thread, or is it because posters aren't responding to your posts as much as others with longer hair? Or is it purely a feeling that you have? Just trying to understand...
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@Poohbear

It is because folks are not as responsive to my post as the longer haired laides.

And

I suggested someting in a thread and was brushed off but when longer hair lady gave teh exact same suggestion they took it and ran with it.
 
The only thing that irks me about giving advice is that people only really want advice from the more popular members :look:. Why start a thread to get advice on breakage and have a bunch of people answer only for you to bump your thread fifteen times until the person that you wanted to answer you comes along. I mean couldn't you have just pmd them or something??? :perplexed:
 
Myjourney2009 said:
@Poohbear

It is because folks are not as responsive to my post as the longer haired laides.

And

I suggested someting in a thread and was brushed off but when longer hair lady gave the exact same suggestion they took it and ran with it.
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Oh okay! Now I understand.

By the way, I just checked out your hair album, and your hair is nice and thick in those pics! I know for me, I love seeing really thick hair - whether short, long, relaxed, or natural. I also like the pictures of your natural twa! (You have pretty eyelashes and eyebrows too ;) ). I think you should showcase more pictures of your hair.
 
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LuvlyRain3 said:
The only thing that irks me about giving advice is that people only really want advice from the more popular members :look:. Why start a thread to get advice on breakage and have a bunch of people answer only for you to bump your thread fifteen times until the person that you wanted to answer you comes along. I mean couldn't you have just pmd them or something??? :perplexed:
Click to expand...

Wow. That is doing entirely toooo much.
 
OP- I hope you don't take offense to this, but it seems like you may be one of those people who likes to give advice, but also wants to control how the advice is absorbed or used.

I say this because I used to be this way....not on the board, but in real life. It's only with a little age and living that I've learned that I can't control what people do with the advice I give them- which is why I need to remember why I'm giving the advice in the first place- to be helpful. Nothing more; nothing less. What the person decides to do after the fact is solely up to them.
 
ciccina said:
By the way, for every person that doesn't take the advice there will be 50 reading and trying it out or finding it through the search button in 1 year, this is what I like of this place: I learned a lot watching other people's threads.
Click to expand...

That is a very good point. I definitely have benefited from all of the different posts and points of view. Sometimes the post are very old so I may not post a response but I have taken some good information away from it.
 
PraisedBeauty said:
Wow. That is doing entirely toooo much.
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I noticed this as a lurker and it hasn't really changed since I subscribed. I just feel like if people are willing to take the time out to answer your questions or give you support and encouragement on your hhg then should it really matter who its coming from??? I mean unless the person has had damaged ear length hair since 93 then I don't really see what the problem is.
 
I've noticed this. Sometimes people will only take advise from popular members, or members with long hair. You may give a very detailed answer, your post will get no respond or thanks and ignored and skipped- but then someone else popular/long hair will answer, and there answer will get quoted, they'll ask them for more detials, give thanks and they may start a conversation with that poster LOL.

I used to only take advice from people with old join dates, but then I started seeing new people with really healthy hair with good tips and different techniques, and people that came from other hair boards which is actually more exciting to me.

Sometimes people with long hair have had it all of their lives, someone with short hair may have had damaged hair and started all over, done a big chop and started all over...Plus imo shorter hair takes more skill sometimes to look good.

So I've learned everyone has something good to offer.

I remember always ignoring one persons advice, and it was because their siggy progress pics and goals were the same for like 2 years- shoulderlength, kind of thin looking, ends not looking too good....always having setbacks, getting cuts, switching between a product is great to it doesnt work for me....Cant roll with that.
 
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Well, I can understand why some may not take advice from someone who has short, healthy hair if their goal is long, healthy hair. It may not be fair, but many who are looking to grow their hair to great lengths are more inspired by the longer haired ladies because most feel that they have been successful and have proven they know what they're talking about when it comes to growing and retaining hair for the simple fact their hair is long. As the saying goes, 'the proof is in the pudding".

I also notice that the more frequent posters and / or the older members of the forum are more likely to get listened to whether or not their hair is long. If you put in the effort to participate in the forums, and ask many questions, then many will feel more comfortable taking advice from you, then someone who rarely posts (figuratively speaking). For example, if you've been on the boards since 2004 and have over 10,000 posts, you MUST have some knowledge about the proper hair practices to have long, healthy hair, right? :giggle: At least I would believe so.

Moreover, members might not take your advice for the simple fact they believe your hair is not similar to their own. Your hair might not have the same density, thickness, curl pattern etc. I can't even count how many times I have read posts from members stating that since their hair type is such and such, that these products won't work for them or because one person's hair was chemically altered and their hair was not, they state that they won't take their advice.

The longest my hair has ever been was APL, and many over the years have taken my advice. I'm sure many others have not, but I'm always willing to help. Advice is just opinions eitherway and each person's hair journey is different. We're all here to learn what works for our hair...if some feel that I don't have any knowledge in healthy hair care practices, so be it. I plan on obtaining as much information as possible from all forum members! :yep:
 
There are quite a few members on here who don't show any hair pics at all but their advice is always on point, and they seem to be well respected generally.

Each to their own I suppose.
 
To the OP,

This happens to all of us. Its not you personally. I have been a long time member even though life took me away for awhile, I can come back and see that there are so many more ladies on here and the advice is abundant. I have offered suggestions to people when they post and they never responded or commented. Then yes later on even another thread they were chatting about the same suggestion to someone as if I never gave it. I chalk that up to the amount of info being given and ones ability to always focus on where it came from. I visited many hair sites in the day and posted and received sugestions and advice. I know for a fact I did not always respond to the person or even see their post due to the high volume of responses and suggestions.

I don't think anyone is personally singleing you out. I do think people will look to there hero's or Hair idol more even when they have different hair. Its just the way people are. You probably have people who admire your hair and hang on to every thing you say. There are thousands of lurkers out there.

I did have a tendency to just skip by people's advice with relaxed hair because I was all natural no heat no cut/trim person searching for tips that fitted into my hair goals. And yes the longer their hair the more I felt they had defeated some of the hurdles.

I don't know of any long haired people on this site with messed up hair giving out advice. But I have been away. I may be considered one because I just went through 4 years of shedding and lost 2/3 of my volume. And no I am not cutting because I received advise that I don't need to. So each of us will go down this road choosing the advise that suits us. That does not mean we don't appreciate people answering our posts and questions.

Don't take it so personal and keep offering suggestions if you want.
 
AS far as taking advice from people...

Some people need to think and ask questions before just taking someone's advise.

Here is my example:

A certain former member who have long thick relaxed almost bone straight hair stated that naturals should use a certain kind a hair roller especially a roller made in Europe.

Everybody was like yeah I want one.

But how come nobody stopped and ask "How would she know?". She is not natural. She is not texlaxed. Yes, her hair looks great but she is not speaking from experience regarding the subject.

From my own experiences, as a roller setter as a natural and as a texlax (my hair never relax straight), I knew she was not totally correct but if I would have something I would have been ignored.

So I listen to most people and I may question some things to see why they came up with that because I believe black hair is diverse and there is more than one right answer. Some tips will work better for thicker hair and others that have thinner hair.
 
I never saw a post where someone closed by saying "seeking responses from people with long hair only ...." This is not a hair help hotline we all volunteer to share what we know but no one's going to get a bad review if "customers" are asking for different operators. So what difference does it make? Personally I think anyone who truly wants to learn about hair will keep their eyes and ears open for good information from any source. But everyone's entitled to their preference so it shouldn't be an issue to anyone else.
 
OP that is the way of the board. Hair length speaks for itself around here.

after all this is long hair care forum. Try not to let it bother you too much. In time if your methods pay off and you achieve great length ppl will be running to you for advice.
 
ciccina said:
OP I have been twirling the ends of my braids whenever I seal since last summer when I had one million single strand knots, I love you and who suggested me ceramides and stretching my hair. Forever.

By the way, for every person that doesn't take the advice there will be 50 reading and trying it out or finding it through the search button in 1 year, this is what I like of this place: I learned a lot watching other people's threads.
Click to expand...

exactly!!!! I didnt even realize the OP was the same person who had posted abt twirling the ends - I do that too and it helps with SSK along with a good moisturising and sealing product :grin:

see OP ppl be reading ur info and using it on the DL :lachen:

Myjourney2009 said:
That might be a bit off putting to some, I never looked at it from that perspective. I never thought to look at a join date because although I joined in 2007 I did not use the board until 2009. The reason being; I was natural (FEB 2008-Sept2009. I did not feel not feel this board was natural friendly so I only read this board once or twice and then went elsewhere.

If I do see a fairly recent join date then I read a few posts to see what they are about.
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wow thats the oposite from me, I lurked for a whole year (under a different username) when I was relaxed but only joined after I went natural because I thought there was more opportunity to get info and ask questions :spinning:





anyhoo OP in the end ppl will always want to take advice from persons they feel can give the best advice - we all have our pesonal standards:yep:
 
Growth rate and length can be genetic. MANY people completely disregard genetics. Its annoying. There are some people who could do very little and get great results. Im talking about a little water and some grease...LOL. I have known people with beautiful hair and terrible hair care practices. Someones long hair may not mean much when it comes to advice. They can recommend fifty million things, but they cant give you their genes...lol!

Your advice is just a good as anyone else. Continue to helping others whenever you can. The health of your hair is more important than anything.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I pay more attention to people's posts w/ my hair type.

I also give a side eye to posters who get amazing growth and do not list their FULL reggie and fail to disclose pertinent stuff about their reggie including vitamins, medication, or being pregnant while obtaining this growth.

Don't say sulfur or JBCO helped you achieved the growth and then I later see a pregnancy ticker in your siggy. It matters.
 
Don't get offended.

Look at it this way. Would you take sex advice from a virgin? Would you take medical advice from a lawyer? You do have to look at the messenger. Nothing to get worked up over.
 
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