Rant- I am NOT to young for marriage!

[alexstin]

Congrats! We were 22 when we got married and celebrated 15 years this year. I don't think early 20s is too young to get married but please get much marital counseling. There are a lot of things you experience "growing up" in a marriage and if you can go into the marriage with eyes wide open I believe you two will be better prepared for the storms that come in marriage. Doesn't mean you can't get through the storms without preparation but you can manage a lot quicker and painlessly with good marital advice before they come. Our marriage counseling was a joke and if I ever give marital counseling to a couple it would be extremely thorough.

 

[Farida]

I don't necessarily think you are too young. Especially if you don't have kids.

I do feel in your case one year is too soon. I think the younger you are, the longer you should take in making the decision.

I also understand your friends' concerns about moving to Europe. As a person who grew up abroad, I can tell you moving is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Whether it was moving across the world or across the country.

I moved across the world with my family and it sucked. There was so much to adjust to, so many people I was away from, I was depressed a lot.

I moved across the country with DH and it was a HUGE struggle, financially, mentally, emotionally...it has been so difficult.

We have a solid relationship though, we dated for over four years, engaged for one, had met and stayed with each other's families, had premarital counseling...you name it, we did it.

Perhaps your friends are concerned that you will be making 2 huge changes in life, and without support from other people close by. Europe is his playing ground and he has all sorts of support built there, and you probably don't.

I say I don't think you are too young. Just make sure you are mature, get counseling, and in as much as you don't want to hear "you are too young," really open up and ask people to give you SOLID reasons why they think you care unprepared.

You are "too young" is just a broad term that encompasses several things such as:
maturity
finances
decision-making
committment

etc.

Let them give you specific reasons why they think you are too young and evaluate the reasons. People told me I was too young because I hadn't finished grad school and would miss single life.

I'm married, and still finishing grad school, and I don't miss clubbing or other things they think I would do as "single." Except maybe the option to go wherever I want for the holidays, now we have to split them.

 

[KeraKrazy]

I don't think people should be telling you not to get married based on your ages alone. Its more a question of are you both ready and have you seriously thought your decision through.

I also think you mentioned the fact that your fiancee is from Europe and you'd be spending some time over there after the wedding. This may be worrying your family and friends some, the fact that you'll be so far away from them. If you don't mind me asking which part of Europe is your fiancee from? there may be language/cultural differences which also worry them, is he a US citizen? I don't mean to pry its just that sometimes people have valid concerns that we may not see cos we're so in love and therefore everything is gonna be just fine. The fact that you say you never even considered pre marital counsellling illustrates this.

At the end of the day only you and he know whether or not your ready for marriage but do try to look beneathe the surface to see if it could be more than simply them 'hating' on you.

p.s. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KeraKrazy]

I don't necessarily think you are too young. Especially if you don't have kids.

I do feel in your case one year is too soon. I think the younger you are, the longer you should take in making the decision.

I also understand your friends' concerns about moving to Europe. As a person who grew up abroad, I can tell you moving is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Whether it was moving across the world or across the country.

I moved across the world with my family and it sucked. There was so much to adjust to, so many people I was away from, I was depressed a lot.

I moved across the country with DH and it was a HUGE struggle, financially, mentally, emotionally...it has been so difficult.

We have a solid relationship though, we dated for over four years, engaged for one, had met and stayed with each other's families, had premarital counseling...you name it, we did it.

Perhaps your friends are concerned that you will be making 2 huge changes in life, and without support from other people close by. Europe is his playing ground and he has all sorts of support built there, and you probably don't.

I say I don't think you are too young. Just make sure you are mature, get counseling, and in as much as you don't want to hear "you are too young," really open up and ask people to give you SOLID reasons why they think you care unprepared.

You are "too young" is just a broad term that encompasses several things such as:
maturity
finances
decision-making
committment

etc.

Let them give you specific reasons why they think you are too young and evaluate the reasons. People told me I was too young because I hadn't finished grad school and would miss single life.

I'm married, and still finishing grad school, and I don't miss clubbing or other things they think I would do as "single." Except maybe the option to go wherever I want for the holidays, now we have to split them.

You and I were having the same thoughts at the same time