Proper Protocol for Dates and Gift Giving

[leona2025]

Ok so I've been dating this guy. Really sweet and nice. We've been on about 7 official dates and like 4 just hanging out type dates. That's really good for me because I usually never go on second dates with guys.

Anyway so he paid for 9 dates and I decided on that 10th date I would offer to take him to Saltgrass. All worked out well, but I kinda feel like I made a mistake in doing that because he asked if that meant we would be taking turns paying for dates. I said no. I don't want him to feel like he has to pay all the time, but I'm kinda opposed to the whole my turn your turn thing.

Second, gift giving. For Valentines day he sent me flowers and took me out to dinner. On a later date he spoke about me not getting him anything for Vday. I almost said that we hadn't know each other long enough for vday gifts, but then I remembered the flowers and just looked at him like . I mean what would have been an appropriate gift? A card?

So then he told me to wear something pink on the day I took him to Saltgrass. He he bought me a really pretty pink Swarovski crystal necklace. I love it, but now I feel like I have to get him something too. I don't know what type of gift to get at so early on in dating.

Any advice about any of this please?

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

Is it his bday? I wound get him a gift unless I randomly saw something I knew he'd like or if I saw something he mentioned in passing that he wanted. I don't think that just because he got you something you HAVE to get him something. Aren't dates and gifts apart of the courting process for men.......

 

[ladysaraii]

I think for Vday I would have gotten a simple card and maybe a small box of chocolate. Very small.

for the necklace, I would let him know how much I liked it and thank him and make it a point to wear it occasionally

 

[CarLiTa]

If you do decide to get him something, it definitely doesn't have to be anything majorly expensive. Something small and thoughtful will be plenty. Or a great kiss
I hope after so many dates you guys are starting to feel comfortable with one another that it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I wouldn't get him a gift. Maybe make him dinner or a nice dessert. Plan a picnic. There are lots of ways to be thoughtful without spending money.

 

[Bublin]

He sounds like a really nice and generous guy. I would def have got him something for Valentines, a card and a little box of chocolates or something cute. Men like that stuff too, especially from a woman they love. Why did you make the decision not to get him anything?

If a man buys you jewellry you are not at all obliged to buy him something back. Just be sure to show your gratitude and like another poster said, wear it occasionally. You could always cook a nice meal.

You seem reluctant to buy him anything is that because you're not sure of him yet...or have you been listening to too much LHCF advice?

 

[leona2025]

I wouldn't get him a gift. Maybe make him dinner or a nice dessert. Plan a picnic. There are lots of ways to be thoughtful without spending money.

Ohhh I love this ideal because I love to cook and a picnic is romantic. He had asked me when was my bday and I told him in July and he said he didn't want to have to wait to buy me a gift. I said you never have to wait to buy me something just get it.

 

[leona2025]

He sounds like a really nice and generous guy. I would def have got him something for Valentines, a card and a little box of chocolates or something cute. Men like that stuff too, especially from a woman they love. Why did you make the decision not to get him anything?

If a man buys you jewellry you are not at all obliged to buy him something back. Just be sure to show your gratitude and like another poster said, wear it occasionally. You could always cook a nice meal.

You seem reluctant to buy him anything is that because you're not sure of him yet...or have you been listening to too much LHCF advice?

I haven't read any LHCF relationship advice really. I have no problem with buying gifts for a guy, but it feels too soon. I was actually shocked when he bought me the necklace and he said he knew I probably felt it was too soon. I did make a big deal over it. I expressed how much I loved it.

I didn't get him a gift for Vday because I didn't know we were on gift giving level yet. I didn't expect anything at all. I don't really know what type of gifts to get. He hella picky.

 

[Bublin]

I haven't read any LHCF relationship advice really. I have no problem with buying gifts for a guy, but it feels too soon. I was actually shocked when he bought me the necklace and he said he knew I probably felt it was too soon. I did make a big deal over it. I expressed how much I loved it.

I didn't get him a gift for Vday because I didn't know we were on gift giving level yet. I didn't expect anything at all. I don't really know what type of gifts to get. He hella picky.

Ah I see, he is moving at a different pace from you. Sorry i don't know what Saltgrass is but you are taking him out and you could always cook him a meal.

For guys who have everything or are picky I buy high end toiletries (gift baskets) - everyone likes to smell good!

 

[SuchaLady]

He asked why you didn't buy him anything for Valentines Day?

 

[SmileyNY]

I'm in a similar, but not similar situation lol. We've been dating for a few months. My guy likes sweets, so I got him a little box of mini Baked By Melissa cupcakes for Vday. He seemed genuinely surprised and thankful that I thought to get him something... So I guess that means he wasn't expecting it. He got me a couple teddy bears, a card, and some balloons.

I've never paid for a date... but I have a feeling he wouldn't let me if I asked. One day while he was moving the car, I paid for the pizza we were picking up. I tried to tell him he didn't have to pay me back and he wouldn't hear it. Stuck the money in my pocket and didn't want to speak of it again...

I'm cool with that

I would only offer to pay for a date with my fiance or husband. Is that wrong?

 

[leona2025]

Ah I see, he is moving at a different pace from you. Sorry i don't know what Saltgrass is but you are taking him out and you could always cook him a meal.

For guys who have everything or are picky I buy high end toiletries (gift baskets) - everyone likes to smell good!

Saltgrass is a steak house. I think I like the gift basket idea. Thanks!

He asked why you didn't buy him anything for Valentines Day?

Lol he casually mentioned how I didn't get him anything.