Pressure to Look Good For Your Man

[jennboo]

I've never been in a situation like this because I've always looked better than or equal to the guys I've dated . We've either been equally yoked or i was more the looker, lol, I know that sounds odd.

To be honest, I would feel pressure to look mind-blowing if I were with a guy who looked mind-blowing .

Obviously your guy is attracted to you, or he wouldn't be with you, so hold no doubts there. It just sounds to me like he wants you to stay the way you are OR get better...no backsliding allowed

ETA: Just read the update good riddance.

 

[deltagyrl]

I dated a guy who was obsessed with me working out even though he had a pooch.

It didn't work out.

Glad you got rid of homeboy.

 

[1BalancedBeauty]

Was he white?

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He was black and born in the States (He claimed his background was part African/part West-Indian).

 

[yora88]

I just don't know of many black guys that use the c word. But go you!

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[ChasingBliss]

He was black and born in the States (He claimed his background was part African/part West-Indian).

Im so sorry about this. But good for you, I'm glad you had the courage to let that go. And it sounds like he exited like a lil ******. He'll probably feel stupid later if not already.

How are you feeling now?

 

[UmSumayyah]

my last relationship had lots of appearance based issues, even though in my opinion i was clearly too attractive for my bf. they didnt really seem like a big deal while at the same time i knew it was a constant underlying theme. after this experience, i look for men that adore my looks because while i was willing to overlook his physical imperfections, i learned the long way that some men can be too immature to do the same. it pisses me off now that he even had the audacity to think he deserved a picture perfect gorgeous woman when he was no more than a six at best.

for me personally i need to be strong enough going forward for that to be a dealbreaker. i have to identify when men are too weak to not focus on some petty physical nonsense.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Sorry he turned out to be a dud, OP but GOOD FOR YOU for giving him the boot.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

He actually called me a c*** on that day he pulled out onto the highway, and then called me a b**** when we broke up.

Got pretty much verbally abusive in what felt like over night.

...Just had to get that off my chest before bed. I had only confided in one person (without leaving out details) before now.

OH HECK NO...

If ANY guy called me that word (let alone my BOYFRIEND), it would be so OVER before he could even get another word in edge-wise. SMH!

I am VERY leary of guys who freely use the "B-word" or the "C-word" or any OTHER derogatory word to describe women, or (worse) their girlfriends.

Girl...don't feel bad, looks like you dodged a HUGE bullet!!!

GOOD RIDDANCE to that abuser....

 

[1BalancedBeauty]

I just don't know of many black guys that use the c word. But go you!

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Both of us grew up in predominately white (Canadian) neighborhoods/schools.

 

[1BalancedBeauty]

Im so sorry about this. But good for you, I'm glad you had the courage to let that go. And it sounds like he exited like a lil ******. He'll probably feel stupid later if not already.

How are you feeling now?

I feel all right now. I had the urge to start dating again almost immediately because I felt like it would be a nice distraction.

I've been going out (to new places) with female friends but it's not quite the same. I guess I was just missing male company for a bit.

I don't necessarily miss him but think about him A LOT and wonder what he's doing and what he's thinking.

This isn't the first verbally-abusive or irrational-type guy I've dated so I definitely got to work on my tolerance for BS as well as self worth before I even consider dating again.

 

[Farida]

I am so happy you had the self esteem to leave him!