Are practice boyfriends okay? I do not date alot due to the fact that I am picky in a place that doesn't offer many options in the first place. I am thinking of excepting this guys proposition to be his girlfriend. Normally I think it would be settling, but why can't I practice (non sexual, of course) how to be a good girlfriend with this dude until my prince charming comes along? Do you think this is morally wrong? Men do it all the time and I am just wondering if I should just stay single or throw my self into the game.
Practice boyfriends?
- Thread starter chickle
- Start date
I wonder if it would work? If you don't really care that much for the person, I can't imagine getting as riled up or upset as with the person who you really care about. You can't really practice that. At least I would think. And if you're just trying to practice being more caring and nurturing, you can practice with your friends and family.
Keshieshimmer
Active Member
Yeah but at least do a full dress rehearsal.I thought ALL boyfriends are "practice" until prince charming comes along??
babyu21
New Member
I had a faux boyfriend once. He was a co worker and we did everything like a couple except physical intimacy. He knew exactly how I felt about everything and he was free, often encouraged, to talk to and meet other woman. I was open and honest about everything and he was fine with it.
I am just concerned about him possibly missing out on someone truly interested in him because he thinks you really like him. As an about poster stated karma is a beeyotch. Why not look for a good friend to fill this faux boyfriend place in your life. That way it is Win-Win.
I am just concerned about him possibly missing out on someone truly interested in him because he thinks you really like him. As an about poster stated karma is a beeyotch. Why not look for a good friend to fill this faux boyfriend place in your life. That way it is Win-Win.
southerncitygirl
Well-Known Member
you wouldn't want him to do this to you.....also if he realizes what you done every woman for years to come that he meets may have to pay for it because you had no regard for his feelings.
Glamorous_chic
Well-Known Member
idk. i say go for it. lol men do this to women all the time. practice wives. they will keep you as a girifriend or "fiance" for years/decades until they find their "wife". and yes i know 2 wrongs don't make a right, but....... as long as you don't mistreat him. technically, like another poster said all boyfriends are practice until you find your husband. but my concern would be while you are out with your "practice" boyfriend, you may be missing out on your true match. but, then again, you may end up developing true feelings for him... so who knows.
lilsparkle825
New Member
I don't get it. If you don't like him, why would you be his GF? Just to say you have a BF?
erplexed
Also......95% of the time a woman (in general) gives "guys do it, so why can't I?" as an excuse, they fail to realize that they are unable to emotionally detach themselves like the poor excuses for men that they are referring to. Someone is gonna get hurt, and it just could be you.
Yes, all BFs are practice, but there is usually (SHOULD be, IMO) some kind of connection/attraction that creates the basis of that relationship.
erplexedAlso......95% of the time a woman (in general) gives "guys do it, so why can't I?" as an excuse, they fail to realize that they are unable to emotionally detach themselves like the poor excuses for men that they are referring to. Someone is gonna get hurt, and it just could be you.
Yes, all BFs are practice, but there is usually (SHOULD be, IMO) some kind of connection/attraction that creates the basis of that relationship.
I am not abusing him or hurting him, he already is aware that I am not really feeling him, but he really likes me so for me to do this would make him very happy. He thinks he can make me love him.
I've had this done to me, and you are right it did hurt, but it has only made me stronger. I am tired of worrying about how other people feel. I just want to enjoy life and live in the moment. I won't be playing with his feeling. I just want more experience in dating so I will know what I want and what I don't want in a relationship.
OP, your complexion in your siggy isI love it! And your hair (from what is shown)! And I like your eyebrows too!
omg that was so homosorry, I just had to comment!
I say go for it! You may end up developing real feelings for him!
Oh, and no homo lol
Yay, thanks! My brows are my favorite thing about me but my hair is a mess in that pic girl lol...pics can be deceiving LOL
Hmm...I did wonder if it was settling, and you are right it is a bit desperate, but I thought it was a win-win situation. The area I live in doesn't really have much options, I won't be able to move until I graduate (another 2.5 years from now). The way I see it he gets the girl, I get the experience. Maybe I should give more background info... I WAS NOT allowed to date until I got to college so I am not totally comfortable dating because I have little experience. I have a good head on my shoulders and usually avoid guys who I know will bring drama, b.s., lies and I am also picky in the sense of looks. I prefer guys who are taller than me, and I am quite the giant (exaggerating I am 5'9). This current guy is decent but he is shorter than me and I am pretty sure he is only trying to date me because he thinks I am cute (I am just not feeling him) he is funny though and we are friends.
I think we all have alterior motives for dating. What makes it morally wrong for me to date someone because my desire to have more experience versus someone who dates someone for looks/money because lets face it, when you start dating someone you can't say it was their personality that got you interested because more often than not you had to get to know them.
I don't get it. If you don't like him, why would you be his GF? Just to say you have a BF?
Also......95% of the time a woman (in general) gives "guys do it, so why can't I?" as an excuse, they fail to realize that they are unable to emotionally detach themselves like the poor excuses for men that they are referring to. Someone is gonna get hurt, and it just could be you.
Yes, all BFs are practice, but there is usually (SHOULD be, IMO) some kind of connection/attraction that creates the basis of that relationship.
It wouldn't be just to say I had a BF, its more to gauge my likes and dislikes...so I will make less errors. I am sorry, I suppose I disregarding the fact that this is life and not work. I always believe practice makes perfect.
And its not that I completely dislike him, I just don't find him physically appealing and he is slightly clingy, but other than that he is a pretty cool guy
I just want to close my eyes and jump into life instead of being so level headed all the time.
mischka
shrinkage.
basically.
tropical-punch
Well-Known Member
I have thought about [doing] this before.
SerenavanderWoodsen
SkinnyMe
I couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to date someone I don't want apart from the moral issues. It repulses me to be around a man in a romantic context who I have no romantic feelings for.
SerenavanderWoodsen
SkinnyMe
NVM
(don't want it being copied and pasted elsewhere
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(don't want it being copied and pasted elsewhere
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Windsy
New Member
"He thinks he can make me love him."
This just sound risky to me...if you end up doing it just pay attention to the red flags and don't wave them away.
Some people don't react well to their feelings being hurt even though they already know what time it is.......just be careful chickle.
Melody.Monroe
New Member
My only problem is you will SUCK at being a girlfriend because you are not PHYSICALLY or EMOTIONALLY attracted to this man. Even if intellectually and personality wise you are, you will be bad because you wont WANT to please him (not physically - just stating general). You won't genuinely care how his day went. You won't want to see him just to see him. You wont want to kiss him when he's having a bad day, and rub his back to ease his mind while he is venting. You won't give him a second thought, because when that man DOES come around that is all the criteria - You will be OUT like Roaches when the light's come on! Please believe me!
I say DO NOT put a title on it - especially not the GF/BF title. Y'all are just friends. And thats what BF/GF is without ANY (kissing included) physically intimacy. If you leave the label off, you can "practice" or whatever without morality issues!
Proceed with caution...this can only end in tears.
I say DO NOT put a title on it - especially not the GF/BF title. Y'all are just friends. And thats what BF/GF is without ANY (kissing included) physically intimacy. If you leave the label off, you can "practice" or whatever without morality issues!
Proceed with caution...this can only end in tears.
Perhaps this the advice I needed. I can not even imagine myself kissing this dude, I cringe at the very thought. Thank you for putting this into perspective. This is perfect, thank you again!
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
Wow, where's the integrity??? Just because you can give someone a "raw deal" and they're ok with it, that doesn't make it right.
If one person allows another to abuse them, even if the victim "knows" IT IS abuse. Still doesn't make it OK. I know it's an extreme example. but the onus is on you for your behavior
Can we stop using the "men do it" excuse. again, we are responsible for our OWN behaviour.
I say do what you feel comfortable doing.
and yes, all boyfriends are practice....but you still need to be genuine.
If one person allows another to abuse them, even if the victim "knows" IT IS abuse. Still doesn't make it OK. I know it's an extreme example. but the onus is on you for your behavior
Can we stop using the "men do it" excuse. again, we are responsible for our OWN behaviour.
I say do what you feel comfortable doing.
and yes, all boyfriends are practice....but you still need to be genuine.
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Moniquenuss
Active Member
Don't do it. All that is gonna happen is that you are gonna catch real feelings for each other.
Sent from my PG86100 using PG86100
Sent from my PG86100 using PG86100
Well, as long as he knows the deal, I don't see the moral problem with it. But I think one of two things will happen:
1) It won't be much of a practice because it's hard to fake liking someone so lots of elements that you might want to "practice" won't happen because your feelings aren't involved or
2) You'll end up liking him after all and so you won't be pretending
I'm real doubtful that you can seriously date him in a pretend girlfriend way and continue to not like him but at the same time have it be a legitimate analogy to a real relationship. But that doesn't mean I think you shouldn't do it. Just adjust your expectations of what this is. More practice dating than a practice boyfriend.
But oh, if you think he is the type of man that it's not good for you to be emotionally attached to (e.g. "kang" type, or anything else you object to), I don't suggest you try to pretend girlfriend or whatever. You may end up being more invested than you anticipate.
1) It won't be much of a practice because it's hard to fake liking someone so lots of elements that you might want to "practice" won't happen because your feelings aren't involved or
2) You'll end up liking him after all and so you won't be pretending
I'm real doubtful that you can seriously date him in a pretend girlfriend way and continue to not like him but at the same time have it be a legitimate analogy to a real relationship. But that doesn't mean I think you shouldn't do it. Just adjust your expectations of what this is. More practice dating than a practice boyfriend.
But oh, if you think he is the type of man that it's not good for you to be emotionally attached to (e.g. "kang" type, or anything else you object to), I don't suggest you try to pretend girlfriend or whatever. You may end up being more invested than you anticipate.
True, but then you are clumping all the girls who aren't really feeling a guy, but give him a chance any way into this category. I would have simply been open and gave him a chance.
God I hope not.
Exactly. I think the only difference is that most girls go into it with the mindset of actually liking the guy.
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