Other Women Will Please Our Husbands

[mensa]

My Mother-in-law always tells her daughter-in-laws that if we don't please our husbands and give them what they want, some other woman gladly will do so. She had told us that if we let ourselves go, other good looking women will end up with our husbands, "cause every man will look at a good looking woman."erplexed

I just can't go around her any more. All of her other daughter-in-laws have cut her off. Now, I refuse to go around her too.

By the way, my husband thinks her saying these things is very disrespectful and has told her so. But, she still continues to say them.

From now on, I will only see her on Christmas and Mothers Day.

 

[sherrimberri]

I have heard older women say this as well. And it is somewhat true depending on the man. A relative of mine divorced two wives for younger women.
I feel that the mom is out of place for telling you this. Especially since your husband has told her that this behavior is disrespectful. did her husband leave her for another woman? Maybe this is her sick way of trying to warn you to prevent this from happening to you. Maybe shes just messy.
I would stay away from her if her behavior makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

[mensa]

No, her husband was very faithful to her. By the way, she is very messy and loves to try to create drama between her sons and their wives.

She has told this to all of her daughter-in-laws, not just me and they don't like it. In the past, I tried to over look her, but I refuse to look the other way now. Being an attractive woman who keeps myself up, there is no reason for her to constantly say this.

She is history to me.

 

[RegaLady]

Okay. And there are other men who will please their wives. She is making it seem as if her sons are the prizes. Fine. But to have women stressing themselves out to keep their husbands is crazy. A woman can do it all right and if her husband wants to go, he will go.

I would think women would do things for their husbands out of love and care, not because another woman will. Otherwise you will never get it right and your heart wouldn't be in the right place.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

My Mother-in-law always tells her daughter-in-laws that if we don't please our husbands and give them what they want, some other woman gladly will do so. She had told us that if we let ourselves go, other good looking women will end up with our husbands, "cause every man will look at a good looking woman."erplexed

I just can't go around her any more. All of her other daughter-in-laws have cut her off. Now, I refuse to go around her too.

By the way, my husband thinks her saying these things is very disrespectful and has told her so. But, she still continues to say them.

From now on, I will only see her on Christmas and Mothers Day.

You have a good husband.

 

[TrueToHair]

.........................

 

[Layluh]

For some reason people always forget that if you don't treat your woman right she may stray too lol. It happens a lot.

 

[PinkPeony]

Messy people will always try to drag others in some mess and create drama.
You're doing the right thing

 

[hopeful]

Wow, she is a piece of work. That is so mean-spirited. It's as though she thinks her sons are made of gold and the wives are so lucky. Sorry you gotta distance yourself from her but you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

[ManeStreet]

If shes toxic for u, stay away. But you may want to reflect deeply as to why her comments bother you so much. Are there insecurities or trust issues that her comments are agitating? Just something to think about.

You cant control another person's actions or words but you can control your reactions to them. If you get to a point where her words no longer bother you then they have no power.

Peoples comments come from their experiences. Maybe she experienced that type of situation with their father & thats why she keeps saying it.

good luck.

 

[CHI10]

women like that end up ragged and run down from doing EVERYTHING for their husbands...no mam pam...i do for my husband b/c i want to...and he is DESERVING of it...and he does the same for me...CHA! i don't blame you for distancing yourself

 

[Britt]

Okay. And there are other men who will please their wives. She is making it seem as if her sons are the prizes. Fine. But to have women stressing themselves out to keep their husbands is crazy. A woman can do it all right and if her husband wants to go, he will go.

I would think women would do things for their husbands out of love and care, not because another woman will. Otherwise you will never get it right and your heart wouldn't be in the right place.

For some reason people always forget that if you don't treat your woman right she may stray too lol. It happens a lot.

Yepppp!
It grinds my gears that people act like men are such a prize and we can't find someone else too. We have to look good, do this, do that.. and the man can fall apart and still go find someone attractive, younger, etc --- shoot, so can we!

 

[gn1g]

and to add to what most everyone else said, I've seen women bend over backwards for the hubby and he still stepped out and left. Do you!

 

[*CherryPie*]

She is kind of messy. But she is kind of right too. No matter how much we don't want to believe that kind of mess, society has made men think that they are more than they are. Most men DO believe that no matter how they look, they deserve the best looking woman.

I've seen raggedy looking men with pretty, well dressed women, too many times. And those women always seem to look like they have some kind of prize.

Lets not even talk about the business men....

But it's all in what type of man you have.

 

[TrueBeliever]

This is another way of saying women are expendable.

 

[LiftedUp]

I would be annoyed if I had to hear that constantly.

I was having a conversation like this with a friend of mine recently and he was telling me the opposite.

 

[mensa]

Wednesday, my Mother-in-law called my husband. He put her on speaker phone and she asked him why I wouldn't call her back. She asked him did she say something wrong to me? Before he could answer, she said, I know that I havn't said anthing wrong to her. (her tone was quite nasty). He just told her, Mother, she has been busy.

Why am I so angry? She even tried to introduce one of her cousins female friends to my husband and stressed that she was very beautiful and had a very good job! I knew this to be true because the cousin left the lady's name and phone number in our mail box. When I asked my husband why his cousin left this information in the mailbox but left without coming in, he told me what it was about. Again, he checked he mother, but the woman never stops.

She will say and do evil things and then when you stop speaking to her, she will start asking others, what is wrong with her? Yea, she plays dumnb. But, this time, I AM DONE cause some people cannot or will not change.

 

[NijaG]

Why am I so angry? She even tried to introduce one of her cousins female friends to my husband and stressed that she was very beautiful and had a very good job! I knew this to be true because the cousin left the lady's name and phone number in our mail box. When I asked my husband why his cousin left this information in the mailbox but left without coming in, he told me what it was about. Again, he checked he mother, but the woman never stops.

She will say and do evil things and then when you stop speaking to her, she will start asking others, what is wrong with her? Yea, she plays dumnb. But, this time, I AM DONE cause some people cannot or will not change.

that is just pure wickedness on her part. Has she done this with her other DIL's? If I had a MIL who crossed the line like that, I would treat her like she was dead.

The reason she keeps on doing what she's doing is because her children, their spouses and husband are still interacting with her. If her kids explicitly tell her that her actions/behavior are unacceptable and cut her off her about a year, believe me if she want any sort of interaction with her family she'll learn to handle herself better.

Right now there are not strong consequences for her wicked behavior, so she has no incentive to change.

 

[lesedi]

If I'm being honest, I agree with her.....but it works the other way round too
I think it's important for married people to stay on top of their game.

Yeah but she is hella messy with how she interacts with your husband. He needs to call her out.

 

[mensa]

that is just pure wickedness on her part. Has she done this with her other DIL's? If I had a MIL who crossed the line like that, I would treat her like she was dead.

The reason she keeps on doing what she's doing is because her children, their spouses and husband are still interacting with her. If her kids explicitly tell her that her actions/behavior are unacceptable and cut her off her about a year, believe me if she want any sort of interaction with her family she'll learn to handle herself better.

Right now there are not strong consequences for her wicked behavior, so she has no incentive to change.

She's always trying to hook her sons up with other women. My husband is the only one who puts her in check. I used to nag him to at least call her, visit her once or twice a week. But, I will not be doing that again.
The other sons dismiss her behavior due to her old age. She had them when she was really up in age, cause she is 85 now. Yes, not 58 but, 85. So, waiting a year to see her could be pretty bad.

She is also known as the mother of her church who everybody loves, honors and respects.ohwell: But herdaughter-in-laws said that she has been like this for as long as they have known her.

We daughter-in-laws are in our 30's and 40's and all of her sons are in their 50's except one who is 48, so, none of us are kids.

 

[mensa]

If I'm being honest, I agree with her.....but it works the other way round too
I think it's important for married people to stay on top of their game.

Yeah but she is hella messy with how she interacts with your husband. He needs to call her out.[/QUOTE]

He has and continues to do so, at the risk of their relationship becoming pretty bad.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

She's always trying to hook her sons up with other women. My husband is the only one who puts her in check. I used to nag him to at least call her, visit her once or twice a week. But, I will not be doing that again.
The other sons dismiss her behavior due to her old age. She had them when she was really up in age, cause she is 85 now. Yes, not 58 but, 85. So, waiting a year to see her could be pretty bad.

She is also known as the mother of her church who everybody loves, honors and respects.ohwell: But herdaughter-in-laws said that she has been like this for as long as they have known her.

We daughter-in-laws are in our 30's and 40's and all of her sons are in their 50's except one who is 48, so, none of us are kids.

Well breaking up a marriage by promoting adultery is far from a Christian thing. Someone needs to tell her that, and if she doesn't get that concept then your husband and her brothers not seeing her for even a month could be a wake up call. What does a man in his 50s need a new wife for?!!!

 

[Krullete]

The other sons dismiss her behavior due to her old age. She had them when she was really up in age, cause she is 85 now. Yes, not 58 but, 85. So, waiting a year to see her could be pretty bad.

[...] all of her sons are in their 50's except one who is 48, so, none of us are kids.

Your mother-in-law had her sons when she was between 26 and 37 years of age. Is that considered "really up in age" these days?

 

[Lilmama1011]

I find that older women tend to think that you have to do everything to keep a man, cook, clean and obey. They fail to realize we have rights now . They need to get modern. Women are way more independent. Just like they say we have to do something to keep a man, it's works the other way around as well

 

[Babysaffy]

I know mother in laws who say oooh my son works so hard and she can't even cook for him without it being a big chore etc, she's taking liberties.. Blah, blah, blah. when the wife works full time, pays bills and does most of the childcare whilst the sons do nothing tp help around the house and some have the wife driving them around everywhere because they have no licence. I blame the mums for not raising their sons right...

OP your husband sounds like a good man because the ones I know of are *****ing to their mums about their horrible wives, making the situation worse, looking for sympathy.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Your mother in law sounds like a piece of work. AND her children put up with it. Not cool.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work. The church mother trying to hook up her married sons with other women?!?!? This woman does not respect you or your marriage and she needs to be called out by all the sons & daughter-in-laws.

The cousin was dead wrong too for leaving some random woman's number in your mailbox. Glad your hubby has told his mom about her horrible behavior. He needs to check the cousin too.

Has MIL ever said why she does not like any of the daughter-in-laws? If she is trying to hook her sons up with other women, presumably she has some reason to not like their wives...hopefully something other than she did not get to hand select the wives.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Has MIL ever said why she does not like any of the daughter-in-laws? If she is trying to hook her sons up with other women, presumably she has some reason to not like their wives...hopefully something other than she did not get to hand select the wives.

This woman sounds like she just likes drama and mess . . . sounds like her sons could be married to Michelle Obama, Halle Berry and Oprah Winfrey and she would still be trying to hook them up with "someone better"

 

[firecracker]

Chile when they get that age they say all kinds of bs. At that age her emotional and mental health could be declining and making her have loose lips even worst than before. You need to tell her you don't want to hear the negative nonsense when you come to visit or call. Really the next time she says that mess I'd say I would hope you raised better men than you are describing because marriage is for better or worst. Meaning if I can't put out he needs to chill til I can and if I gain weight his arse can spot me in the gym. LOL

 

[SweetTea]

Your mother-in-law sounds very disrespectful. You are blessed to have a husband who will stand up to his mother like that for you.

Her way of thinking is just misogynistic. In the end people who want to stray, will stray, no matter what you look like or what you are doing. Men in denial, who cheat on their wives and run off with naive little girls are losers, IMO. Let them leave, get out and stay out.

People in relationships should keep themselves up of course, but this applies to men as well as women. Sometimes, I wonder if the apparent phenomenon of women suddenly "disliking" sex after marriage is because they've lost attraction to their husbands. Of course, this possibility is never considered, because all men age so well and are never boring in bed.

Walking around, I see older couples and both people have let themselves go. A fat wife usually has a fatter husband. There is not this occurrence of unbelievably attractive older men with sloppy wives who don't gaf, despite what people would have you believe. Women need to stop accepting the blame for everything wrong in a relationship, but first we need mothers to stop instilling that type of mentality in their daughters.