Opening Moves - What do I do from here?

[misspriss]

Sooo....I met a guy through mutual friends. We had met before, but I didn't pay him much attention. Well, this weekend I saw him twice, once at a bbq at his place (I didn't know it was his place at the time, a friend invited me). And once the next night at a friend's party. At the party we talked and flirted, but the end of the night got hectic and we didn't get a chance to say goodbye or exchange numbers (I'm hoping at this point he's interested because I definitely started liking him).

Well, I waited it out...(didn't try to e-stalk him or ask my friends for his number) to see if he'd make an effort, lol. And today I got a facebook friend request from him. I accepted, but nothing more. So then he sent me a message "What's going on lady? What happened to you guys on Sunday night? Text me when you get a chance, not on facebook that often.... xxx.xxx.xxxx"

Now, I'm thinking I have 3 options:

1. Text him to the effect of "Hey, it's misspriss. Give me a call sometime ". That way he has my number and knows I'm interested, but the ball is in his court.

2. Friend A thinks I should forgo the texting (because well, it's texting) and just call him.

3. Friend B thinks I should message him back my number and not text or call.

What would you ladies do? Oh, and how long should I wait to make contact???

Thanks in advance!!!

 

[HoneyA]

At this stage in my life, I would choose the first option. I would text him a benign response. "Hey,it's ... what's up? Good to hear from you ". If he's interested and it seems he is, he'll call to set up a date so you won't need to say call me sometime. Give him the chance to make his intentions clear. I'd wait a while before I text, maybe until the next day. Good luck!

ETA: Just saw Friend B's suggestion, I thought about that as well but if it is true that he does not go onto Facebook very often, then you may have a while to wait before he contacts you. Calling at this stage is out of the question, well for me anyway.

 

[misspriss]

At this stage in my life, I would choose the first option. I would text him a benign response. "Hey,it's ... what's up? Good to hear from you ". If he's interested and it seems he is, he'll call to set up a date so you won't need to say call me sometime. Give him the chance to make his intentions clear. I'd wait a while before I text, maybe until the next day. Good luck!

ETA: Just saw Friend B's suggestion, I thought about that as well but if it is true that he does not go onto Facebook very often, then you may have a while to wait before he contacts you. Calling at this stage is out of the question, well for me anyway.

That's a great suggestion, thanks! I'm normally a little too flirty with guys in general, so if I find one that I like, I have to remind myself to pull back a little and let him take the lead ;-)

 

[msa]

I like option 1 and 2. I'm not sure which I like more.

Option 1 puts the ball in his court. But it also establishes that you'll text him, which I don't think is a good idea.

Option 2 shows him that you are interested in real communication, but I guess it goes against the "rules" of not calling a guy first.

I think what I would do is sly dial him so that it can go straight to voicemail and then leave him a message (including phone number). That way it's on him to call you back. Yes, this is doing extra but I just don't like the idea of texting.

 

[misspriss]

I like option 1 and 2. I'm not sure which I like more.

Option 1 puts the ball in his court. But it also establishes that you'll text him, which I don't think is a good idea.

Option 2 shows him that you are interested in real communication, but I guess it goes against the "rules" of not calling a guy first.

I think what I would do is sly dial him so that it can go straight to voicemail and then leave him a message (including phone number). That way it's on him to call you back. Yes, this is doing extra but I just don't like the idea of texting.

Wait, what's sly dialing? How do I do that, lol?

 

[HoneyA]

I realise that a lot of people are averse to sending texts. My SO and I have a happy mix of phone conversations and texts. It's always been that way. Now with the distance between us, I'm happy for texts. Texts weren't meant for long, deep meaningful conversations so I mean a short message just to say hi and let him have your number should be ok.

Never heard of sly dialing though. I could use that for other purposes.

 

[vevster]

Message him back on fb. Even if he isn't on he will get the message. Send him your number. I've seen so many people meet guys and it turns into a text fest with no dates!

I say until you know him forgo the texts.

 

[topsyturvy86]

I realise that a lot of people are averse to sending texts. My SO and I have a happy mix of phone conversations and texts. It's always been that way. Now with the distance between us, I'm happy for texts. Texts weren't meant for long, deep meaningful conversations so I mean a short message just to say hi and let him have your number should be ok.

Never heard of sly dialing though. I could use that for other purposes.

Yeah, I noticed that too. I'd go with option A. "hey, this is xx, was lovely hearing from u " ... This let's him have your number and leaves the ball in his court so you don't seem too keen by calling first or not that interested by just facebooking when he told you he doesn't fb much.

 

[Bunny77]

I like No. 1.

And you don't have to make a habit of texting. He should call, and if he keeps sending texts, you don't have to answer. Just say if he continues texts that you prefer talking on the phone and to give you a ring when he gets a chance.

Good luck.

 

[frankie]

I agree with the ladies that said send the text with your number instructing him to give you a call.

You should send the text at a time when you can actually receive his call and talk to him, just in case he calls you immediately.

 

[hopeful]

I'd text my number and say upfront that I don't text much. You respected his "don't facebook much" statement and hopefully he will respect your "don't text much" comment. Good luck.

 

[misspriss]

Thanks ladies! I asked one of my guy friends at work too, and he agreed with most of yall that a text was fine (he also thought I was overanalyzing, lol).

I'll go ahead and text him my number tonight, but keep it brief and casual. And I'll tell him I "don't text much" if he texts me back instead of calling, so it doesn't become a habit, especially since I don't know him very well yet.

 

[msa]

Wait, what's sly dialing? How do I do that, lol?

slydial.com

It's a service that allows you to dial someone's number and have it go straight to their voicemail. That way you don't have to talk to them. And it shows up as a missed call in their call log.

 

[misspriss]

slydial.com

It's a service that allows you to dial someone's number and have it go straight to their voicemail. That way you don't have to talk to them. And it shows up as a missed call in their call log.

Wow...never knew that existed!

Update: I sent him the text. He responded via text and I suggested he call instead, haha. Anyway, he called me later that night We talked for a little while, but he had to take another call and said he'd call back...I ended up going to sleep, but when I woke up this morning there was a lovely voicemail awaiting me.

Thanks for all the feedback ladies...I'm grinning from ear to ear!

 

[HoneyA]

Wow...never knew that existed!

Update: I sent him the text. He responded via text and I suggested he call instead, haha. Anyway, he called me later that night We talked for a little while, but he had to take another call and said he'd call back...I ended up going to sleep, but when I woke up this morning there was a lovely voicemail awaiting me.

Thanks for all the feedback ladies...I'm grinning from ear to ear!

Sounds encouraging so far! I'm happy for you!

 

[Bunny77]

Cool! Keep us posted!

 

[scarcity21]

slydial.com

It's a service that allows you to dial someone's number and have it go straight to their voicemail. That way you don't have to talk to them. And it shows up as a missed call in their call log.

learn something new everyday...thanks.

 

[hopeful]

Wow...never knew that existed!

Update: I sent him the text. He responded via text and I suggested he call instead, haha. Anyway, he called me later that night We talked for a little while, but he had to take another call and said he'd call back...I ended up going to sleep, but when I woke up this morning there was a lovely voicemail awaiting me.

Thanks for all the feedback ladies...I'm grinning from ear to ear!

Love the bolded! That's how you do it, get things straight from the start. Looking forward to your updates.