OH no she didn't!--Coworker said my hair looks like...
- Thread starter Crystalicequeen123
- Start date
LadyRaider
Well-Known Member
Keep a cap at work just in case. I learned that from my students. 
My hair was all over the place one windy day and they said... get a hat. Problem solved.
My hair was all over the place one windy day and they said... get a hat. Problem solved.
Cxshortie
Well-Known Member
Exactly what I was thinking!
...I stuck my finger in the electrical socket!!!
Ughgh....I don't know whether to be angry or chalk it up to pure ignorance.
I mean honestly, I have to admit...I have been bunning my hair up for the past week or so simply because I am 12weeks+ post a relaxer touchup.
I was SUPPOSEDto get my hair touched up yesterday after work, but my stylist couldn't take me, and frankly I don't trust anyone else but her to put a relaxer in my hair. She knows which relaxer I like, how long to leave it in, and how I like to maintain SOME thickness to my hair. So I am getting my touchup tomorrow instead.
Anyway, so last night I decided that I still wanted to look nice because I'm going somewhere special tonight after work and I wanted to wear my hair down. So, I put bantu knots in my hair and slept on it.
When I took it out this morning, my hair (to me) looked pretty nice! My hair was looking pretty good, and had a nice little wave to it. Now.....fast-forward to 4pm (9hrs later) and my hair has fallen, the "waves" look limp, and frizzy!
Anyway, so this one co-worker sees me pass her desk and this is how the conversation goes:
Co-Worker: "How did you get your hair like that?"
Me: "Huh?? What do you mean?"
Co-Worker: "I mean...what did you do to it to look like that?"
Me: "Why...what does it look like?"
Co-Worker: "Idk It looks different..."
Me: *laughing* "Uh-oh!! Different! Different good? Or...different bad?"
Co-Worker: "Umm...just different I guess!"
Me: "Well, be honest...does it look good or does it look bad? Please just be honest."
Co-Worker: *pauses for a moment* "Well.... it almost looks like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket".
Me:*blinking*
Co-Worker: "I mean.... not high voltage, but LOW voltage!" (as if that's any better??)
Me: *trying not to get upset* "Wow...well gosh! Ugh...I wanted to get my hair done yesterday but my stylist couldn't do it, so I put bantu knots in it and took them out this morning. It looked a lot better this morning."
Co-Worker: "It's just not how you normally wear your hair. I actually prefer it up in the buns...."
Me: "Really?? You actually prefer it up??"
Co-Worker: "Well, not really...but I don't like it like that. It looks kind of messy"
Me: *now I'm really trying not to get pissed off...meanwhile a fellow female black co-worker is hearing this whole conversation and is just shaking her head and making grunt noises*
Me: "Well, I appreciate the honesty and everything, but maybe it's not such a good idea to tell someone that their hair looks like it got electrocuted."
Co-Worker: "I'm sorry....you said be honest!"
Me: "Yes well....that doesn't mean that it was a nice thing to say"
Co-Worker: *sigh* "Uh-oh...I guess I better leave this one alone..."
Me: "Umm... yeah that might be best."
UGhg!) that's when I have a problem!
*sigh* I just had to vent....
Wowwwww well, yeah, that's why I tend to not ask questions that I really don't want to know the answers to! If I'm thinking about asking a question, I usually think of the worse answer I could possibly get, ask myself if I would be ok with that answer and if so, then I'll ask it.
Like this one right here, before I asked that I'd think, "ok, would I be alright if this girl said that I looked like I was struck by lightning or something?" Then if the answer is "yes" then I'd ask. Otherwise, I'd probably be like,"Well, thanks for letting me know. Stay tuned, it gets better than this." and get her a
$$ away from my desk! But honestly after I think of the worse case scenarios, what someone actually says to me is usually not as bad as what I was thinking and saves me a lot of grief.I guess the lesson in this is that sometimes when you tell someone to give you their honest opinion, they may actually do it!!!
Like this chick, can you really blame her though? I say that only because you asked ol' girl a few times so that kinda pushed her into a corner in a way, no? I mean if you think about it, how could she backpeddle after you asked her 3 times! 
Not to say that there aren't exceptions. When I ask a question and the person answers but 1) looks like they are taking personal joy in trying to bring me down or insult me or 2) keeps on going after they clearly got their message across, then.....
it's on!!!
That's ok though....when you get your hair the way you like it, catwalk by her so she can see the results!! LOL!
I don't think that's too insulting TBH. Some people, regardless of race, will point out if your hair doesn't look that great. Maybe she thought she was being helpful. Sorry that happened to you though! Just laugh it off and know you looked amazing that morning and will again soon enough!
pookaloo83
New Member
You asked! She Told!
nubiennze
Well-Known Member
...but she said she didn't "really" like the buns either, lol. I agree that this woman sounds like she's just been itching for an opportunity to let OP know how she *really* feels about her hair. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction by requesting her brand of "honesty."
Like everyone else stated, you asked her to be honest so that is exactly what she did. My only problem was that she started her conversation by asking how you got your hair to look the way it does, as if she genuinely wanted to know. You might have even gotten the impression based on how the conversation began that she thought your hair was attractive. Generally, the only time people begin a conversation about something is because they like it or want to compliment it. If she did not like the way your hair looked why even begin a conversation about it. She had it in her mind before the conversation began that electricity must have coursed through your body at some point in the morning. She started the conversation because she wanted you to know her personal preference regarding your hair, in other words dont show your a** up here without a bun again.
The conversation was funny though.
IA with this, she should've just come out and said she didn't like the style and prefered the bun, instead of beating about the bush like that
.But either way, once the convo started, you did ask her to be honest
.
CarolinaGal
New Member
So true. Unfortunately, the co-worker clearly wanted to make a rude comment and you took the bait. Even though you did ask, she could have been a bit more sensitive and tactful. I really hope that her comment did not ruin your day, though. We all have an off day every now and then. Keep rocking your lovely locks with pride
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
I would co sign, however...the co worker stopped by her desk to initiate this dumb convo.
You should have just blank stared and blinked
You should have just blank stared and blinked
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
She should have minded her own damn businessIA with this, she should've just come out and said she didn't like the style and prefered the bun, instead of beating about the bush like that
But either way, once the convo started, you did ask her to be honest
supermodelsonya
New Member
Just one person's opinion.....What one may find beautiful another may not. Not everyone is gonna tell you what you want to hear.
I've learned that the hard way over and over again....
I've learned that the hard way over and over again....
SistaSista
New Member
I am dying laughing. This is so funny.
Like everyone else stated, you asked her to be honest so that is exactly what she did. My only problem was that she started her conversation by asking how you got your hair to look the way it does, as if she genuinely wanted to know. You might have even gotten the impression based on how the conversation began that she thought your hair was attractive. Generally, the only time people begin a conversation about something is because they like it or want to compliment it. If she did not like the way your hair looked why even begin a conversation about it. She had it in her mind before the conversation began that electricity must have coursed through your body at some point in the morning. She started the conversation because she wanted you to know her personal preference regarding your hair, in other words dont show your a** up here without a bun again.
The conversation was funny though.
SistaSista
New Member
The funny thing is I did Bantu knots tonight and was going to take them down in the morning before I went to work. Well after reading this thread I decided against it and took them out. Got a meeting tomorrow and don't want to look a HAM. Maybe I'll do a messy up do instead.
dplyrooted
New Member
I could see where everyone was coming from if she just walked up to the girl and asked her how do you think my hair looks like this, but that's not what happened, ole girl knew what she was doing when she approached her, so yeah I'd be offended, and probably let her have it so that she would know don't come to me about my hair again.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Well....if I was able to give some people a laugh for the day...I guess I'm glad. But believe me, if you were in the same situation I was in today, I don't think laughing would have been the first thing coming to your mind.
I don't like when I can't tell if someone is joking to be mean, or being sincere in their comments. Plus, she has a history of not being the nicest person towards me in the past. We don't hate each other or anything (in fact, we usually get along fine), but her personality is grating on the nerves. Everyday she does something that's a little annoying.
Right! I think she just wanted something negative to say. She's a very negative person. When I first started working there, we did not really mesh too well when I got to know her as a person. She's quite rude towards some people and doesn't talk to some others with respect. Almost like she's missing a sensitivity chip or something.
But over the past few months, since I've been trying to be more loving, joyful, and peaceful in my OWN life towards others, her sarcastic comments towards me and others haven't been grating on my nerves as much.
But today was just the wrong day! I am pms'ing, so automatically that put me more on edge...and I was already feeling self-conscious because my hair do had fallen, and I was hoping it would look good.
Not only that, but it really IRKS me sometimes when people of non-color ask underhanded questions designed to make you feel bad (I'm not talking about those who are genuinely curious or simply asking because they are interested) and ON TOP OF THAT go on to insult your hiar!
NO, she's not a friend...and yes it would have been completely different if she were a friend. A "friend" would already have a rapport w/me. She does not.
She was white.
Thank you!
I don't care how busted up someone's hair looks, if I'm not close friends w/them, or if they are just a co-worker that I dont' have a good rapport with, I would just say: "Well...I like your hair better curly" or... "I think I liked it better the other way".
I agree.
I don't like when I can't tell if someone is joking to be mean, or being sincere in their comments. Plus, she has a history of not being the nicest person towards me in the past. We don't hate each other or anything (in fact, we usually get along fine), but her personality is grating on the nerves. Everyday she does something that's a little annoying.
Right! I think she just wanted something negative to say. She's a very negative person. When I first started working there, we did not really mesh too well when I got to know her as a person. She's quite rude towards some people and doesn't talk to some others with respect. Almost like she's missing a sensitivity chip or something.
But over the past few months, since I've been trying to be more loving, joyful, and peaceful in my OWN life towards others, her sarcastic comments towards me and others haven't been grating on my nerves as much.
But today was just the wrong day!
I am pms'ing, so automatically that put me more on edge...and I was already feeling self-conscious because my hair do had fallen, and I was hoping it would look good. Not only that, but it really IRKS me sometimes when people of non-color ask underhanded questions designed to make you feel bad (I'm not talking about those who are genuinely curious or simply asking because they are interested) and ON TOP OF THAT go on to insult your hiar!
NO, she's not a friend...and yes it would have been completely different if she were a friend. A "friend" would already have a rapport w/me. She does not.
She was white.
Thank you!
I don't care how busted up someone's hair looks, if I'm not close friends w/them, or if they are just a co-worker that I dont' have a good rapport with, I would just say: "Well...I like your hair better curly" or... "I think I liked it better the other way". I agree.
CurlyNue
New Member
Noooo! Don't do it.
I know you already did but girl I am rocking my bantu knot out today and I look GOOD because I am a complete package; hair, clothes, attitude and all.
When I put my hair in knots Sunday afternoon it was so haphazardly. I was going to do something else but knots are simple, quick, easy, and time was running short. I love my hair style today. Not every style is going to turn out the way you think it will but if you keep an honest and open mind, your hair can always look great.
Next time wait until the morning to see what you will get. If it doesn’t look like you think it should add a headband or pin the hair up somewhere. Play with it to see what it will do until it does what you want.
Theresamonet
Well-Known Member
Well....if I was able to give some people a laugh for the day...I guess I'm glad. But believe me, if you were in the same situation I was in today, I don't think laughing would have been the first thing coming to your mind.
I don't like when I can't tell if someone is joking to be mean, or being sincere in their comments. Plus, she has a history of not being the nicest person towards me in the past. We don't hate each other or anything (in fact, we usually get along fine), but her personality is grating on the nerves. Everyday she does something that's a little annoying.
Right! I think she just wanted something negative to say. She's a very negative person. When I first started working there, we did not really mesh too well when I got to know her as a person. She's quite rude towards some people and doesn't talk to some others with respect. Almost like she's missing a sensitivity chip or something.
Well why did you ask beg for her opinion in the first place if you know her history! What were you expecting from her this time? You were just asking for drama.
And I don't think this situation is an issue of race...
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Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Well why did you ask beg for her opinion in the first place if you know her history! What were you expecting from her this time? You were just asking for drama.
And I don't think this situation is an issue of race...
Okay let me clarify this since ppl seem to be asking.
The ONLY reason why I "begged" her to tell me what she really thought about my hair was because I was going somewhere special this evening and I really wanted to make sure I looked nice.
Plus, she was the one who brought up the hair question anyway, and when I asked her what she meant by her question she went on to give the vague comment about it being "different".
Ummm...I don't know about you all, but typically when someone says "different", they usually don't mean it in a good way. BUT...in order to prevent myself from jumping to conclusions about what she meant and imputing wrong motives on people, I just simply asked her if it was a "good different" or a "bad different".
When she couldn't come up w/an answer quick enough and it seemed like she was trying to come up with something to say I just told her to come out with it already! I don't like people beating around the bush. Like I said, the ONLY reason why I asked her to tell me the truth was because I had somewhere important to go this evening and I wanted to look presentable, so if my hair could use a little touching up I wanted to know.
But I did not expect to hear that I looked electrocuted!!
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
Wow...I'm just SMH at some of the comments on this thread. 
I can't believe that I feel like I have to justify my feelings for why I may have been just a little bit offended at my co-workers comments!
Some of you are acting like you wouldn't be the least offended if you told someone to give their "honest opinion" and they started to insult something as touchy as your hair....or what if it were weight/religion/looks/etc?? I mean, where do we draw the line? Just because someone asks for honesty it doesn't mean (IMO) that it gives the other person the free liberty to be completely insulting.
I'm over the whole incident (I didn't even mention it to her today, and I just acted normally as usual when I got to work), but I'm just surprised that some of you would be *seemingly* "okay" with someone saying those comments to you, even if you ASKED for their honesty. Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy I guess.
There's tact, and then there's being insulting.
Oh well... [*rant off*]
I can't believe that I feel like I have to justify my feelings for why I may have been just a little bit offended at my co-workers comments!
Some of you are acting like you wouldn't be the least offended if you told someone to give their "honest opinion" and they started to insult something as touchy as your hair....or what if it were weight/religion/looks/etc?? I mean, where do we draw the line? Just because someone asks for honesty it doesn't mean (IMO) that it gives the other person the free liberty to be completely insulting.
I'm over the whole incident (I didn't even mention it to her today, and I just acted normally as usual when I got to work), but I'm just surprised that some of you would be *seemingly* "okay" with someone saying those comments to you, even if you ASKED for their honesty. Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy I guess.
There's tact, and then there's being insulting.
Oh well... [*rant off*]
*Frisky*
Well-Known Member
Wow...I'm just SMH at some of the comments on this thread.
I can't believe that I feel like I have to justify my feelings for why I may have been just a little bit offended at my co-workers comments!
Some of you are acting like you wouldn't be the least offended if you told someone to give their "honest opinion" and they started to insult something as touchy as your hair....or what if it were weight/religion/looks/etc?? I mean, where do we draw the line? Just because someone asks for honesty it doesn't mean (IMO) that it gives the other person the free liberty to be completely insulting.
I'm over the whole incident (I didn't even mention it to her today, and I just acted normally as usual when I got to work), but I'm just surprised that some of you would be *seemingly* "okay" with someone saying those comments to you, even if you ASKED for their honesty. Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy I guess.
There's tact, and then there's being insulting.
Oh well... [*rant off*]
I think you need to consider the source on this one. First of all, she is white, second she is a rude person in general from what you said. IMO a white person and/or a black person that doesn't like or isn't familiar with big, natural looking hair would respond the way she did. You might of gotten a different response from somebody else so I wouldn't be offended at all. My white co worker is always wondering if my hair is a weave and I say no. She must not be familiar with wigs
Kerryann
Well-Known Member
Girl it is not that serious shoots some people dont know style.
when i do my WNG's my hair gets curly and all cute and some people has made the comment that i put my hand in a socket but it doesnt bother me because i know my hair gets really big. I also have a good guy friend that calls me crusty from the simpsons when he sees my big hair.
Dont get offended its not that serious if you thought it looks cute then why worry
when i do my WNG's my hair gets curly and all cute and some people has made the comment that i put my hand in a socket but it doesnt bother me because i know my hair gets really big. I also have a good guy friend that calls me crusty from the simpsons when he sees my big hair.
Dont get offended its not that serious if you thought it looks cute then why worry
