I met this guy who is totally sweet but I'm not physically attracted to him in the slightest bit. Anyone been in this situation? What did you do? How did it turn out?
. Of course it would not have worked, but months/years later I crossed paths with a few and boy did my feeling change! Unfortunately by then it was too late so if I could do it again I would have tried to keep them around in some way as long as I knew they were capable of carrying on a casual/friendship-based relationship with me. So if you no longer want to date him, then don't date him, just find a way to keep in contact occasionally and continue to be friendly because we could all use sweet people in our lives regardless.
. The thought of him touching me gently just kinda makes me tense.
I wouldn't do it....
If you have absolutely no attraction to him at all... there is a likely chance that the feeling won't change. I also wouldn't force it. I've been in a situation like this, I met a guy when I was 19 and he was sooo kind and sweet and nice to me, not only to me, but just a great guy in general. Fast forward to my adult years, I started to go out w/ said guy when I was 25 and I felt more mentally mature but those feelings of unattraction were still there no matter how much I tried to rationalize the fact that he's a phenomenal person. I took my time, and we use to hang out on a platonic tip for about 3 months, one night we went out for dinner, we both were a little tipsy, outside of the restaurant he gave me a hug and tried to kiss me and I turned my head, in spite of my tipsyness, I cringed inside at the thought of being that close to him but my mind felt bad b/c I think he's really and truly a great guy. I'm an overthinker, so it bothered me... I tried to dig deep w/in myself to see if there was a reason(s) why I couldn't be attracted to someone who would make a damn near perfect mate. I started to feel really bad b/c I knew he was very attracted to me, and he genuinely likes me as a person, and I think it's only fair that the same passion is reciprocated towards him. I'm now 28 and I still think he's such a great catch, he has all the real qualities you'd want in a man, not the superficial ones that many of us go for. However, I still don't think I'd get with him, that umph is just.not.there.
At the end of the day, we really can't help who we are attracted to and fall in love with. I think it just sort of happens sometimes, of course there are traits that we are looking for, but there is something else there that causes us to really fall for someone.
) he didn't repulse me either.
Once again I am on both sides of the issue. Although I wasn't hot for DH when we first met or for most of our friendship (I didn't realize how handsome he was until I saw him without glasses and in street clothes.....he has that Clark Kent thang going
Personally if the idea of a guy ever touching you repulses you to the point of giving you the heebie geebies I'd say let him go. I think in those instances when you have a physical reaction like that perhaps there's something biological turning you off. Maybe he's a carrier for a genetic defect or your genes are too close which would result in multiple miscarriages or birth defects etc. Maybe he has an underlying health condition, low sperm count, etc.
IMO our bodies communicate with use very clearly and it's important to listen to them.
I am no where near REPULSED by him. I'm just simply not attracted to him. I bet there's a lot of women out there that would LOVE they way he looks.
(many people think I'm weird for that), he also tends to have a "wondering eye" when he stares for too long. He is also deaf in one ear but that doesn't bother me to much. I would just have to always be conscious of to which side I sit when I'm with him because I have a "quiet" voice. He also has NO fashion sense. It seems as if he wears walmart jeans and cheap polos. (if you live in atlanta, you will understand when I say he has no real swag) He is also on the nerdy side and has only had one real girlfriend so he doesn't have much experience in the dating game when I've been with two guys for at least two years each. We are both 19 btw.
EVERY other boy was poor as heck. But their personality CLICKED so well with mine from the VERY beginning. It really didn't matter. (keep in mind I'm talking about teenaged boys, not people who should have established careers). My exes were like the other half of me. Which is why I am really cool with them to this day. He, the boy in question, like I said is on the geeky end, so that on top of me not being attracted to him, is making it worse.
the broke thug boys ain't going no where. Your geeky dude us headed to a prestigious career. As much as women have a hard time finding a guy on their level you are dating "down." Less experience means he's less likely to cheat, give you an STD or both. ) meanwhile nerd dude will be rocking Stacy Adams and Armani, big house, kids, and treat his wife like a queen and you'll be single wondering where all the good brother are at
Don't be a Monica girl leave them thugs alone !!
