Naturals who relasped!

[Casarela]

Re: Naturals who relapsed !

single strand knots!!! that was my reason...do I feel defeated..not at all. my goal i shealthy long hair and having teh single strand knots in my way was a nono and that would make me feel defeated every signle time because of all the effort and time invested so I moved on to something else.

There wereother things where I wanted to invest my time at and I was spending too much time on my hair and it was frustrating at times.

It was overwhelming at times and I cant handle that with my life style I did in fact for a year and 5 months and that was fair enough for me. I texlaxed...detangling is more than a breeze it takes few minutes now. I love the versatility and still have curls so im a happy camper.

So I have been on this natural hair journey for almost 2.5 years (in November 09) and I am just tired now! I am giving myself until Dec of this year to make the choice to stay natural or go back to a texturizer/relaxer. Its like okay I know what my real hair looks like, it’s cute, next! I don't care about hair texture or type, I just want long hair. And these single strand knots are getting higher and getting in the way of having long hair for me.

What made you go back to the chemical? Did you feel "defeated" at all or regret the choice? I love my hair texture but I am tired of the maintenance that comes with being natural. It was liberating at first but now it’s becoming a time consuming money eating burden. I don't know what to do.

Advice???

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I have been back and forth several times for the past 6 years and I always come back to natural, I think my issue is finding a good product to moisturize, I Love Qhemet but I can't afford to purchase at this time, so when I have a hard time I would texlax, but now I am gonna get braids and just let it grow out that way. My hair HATES shea butter no matter how you mix it, it just don't work, Suave conditioners, I use to use them like crazy because everyone else did and had great results.

I was in Denial, because those cheap conditioners did not work or do anything for my hair, castor oil did not work, the only thing that worked was S-curl and I am so wore out over s-curl because it makes my hair have this mushy feel to it, Yes it can become quite expensive trying to find moisturizers for natural hair, as to where I can texlax and use any moisturizer and have moist hair all week, but I am gonna try and stick with it because I prefer natural hair. But everytime I texlaxed I regretted it, but that was just me.

 

[LoveisYou]

I was natural for a little over a year before relaxing again, I got frustrated because I wasn't great at styling my natural hair and felt my hair didn't look how I wanted it to look.

With all the information on youtube and the forum I'm thinking about transitioning again.

 

[Victorian]

I've sort of relapsed...the knots did me in too
I haven't had a relaxer in almost 6 years, but back at the beginning of the year I started wearing my hair straight again. I really don't feel like dealing with a relaxer, so instead I flat iron. I like my straightened natural hair better than my relaxed hair -- my hair is very fine and goes flat easily when relaxed. I have a lot more body (and my hair is stronger) when it is natural and straightened.
When I was relaxed I usually washed and blowdried once a week. Now I do the same except I have to also flat iron if I want to get my hair relaxer-straight. Sometimes I leave it "fluffy" and skip the flat iron, but usually I flat iron. All in all, it's not that much more work than when I was relaxed, but I don't have to do the touch up process every few months. It's less work than when I was natural and my hair started getting longer and getting more knots.
I think in the end you just have to be totally honest about how much of what type of work you're willing to do. I'm willing to spend 3 hours on the weekend doing my weekly regimen if it means my hair takes 2 minutes to do during the week, and my hair always looks neat. I wasn't willing to deal with the increased time it took me to deal with my longer natural hair on a daily basis, and I didn't really want to wear it short. So, there you have it.

 

[Ladybelle]

I relapsed after two years of being natural. I think someone else also mentioned it- for me, it's easier. And, thanks to LHCF I know how to have healthy, beautiful relaxed hair. I only went natural because I thought that was the only way to get my hair to grow, wrong!!

In addition to that, I prefer straight styles. I'm not a twa/twists wearing person, I prefer the styles I get to do on relaxed hair vs my options with natural hair. I also found my natural hair (4b/4c) was waaaaay more time & effort than my hair relaxed.

Whatever you choose- do what makes you happy. Because like another person said, you can always go back to being natural or you can always go back to being relaxed. If you know what you're doing, the hair can thrive in either state.

Good luck!

 

[harrison]

I tex/relaxed after 11 years of being natural. No complaints here. Fortunately, I have a stylist who is natural, so when I told her that I wanted to loosen up the texture "a bit" not go "bone straight" .. she knew what I meant. So now I can do wng, 2 strand twists, braids, etc. My braid/twist outs are awesome. I'm at the right place for now.

 

[kblc06]

thanks ladies. I just did a nice trim. I was at the top of BSL now it looks like i am just a tad under APL now. I will give it to December and make a decision if i don't see any changes with the single strand knots.

This always happens to me and it's so D@MN frustrating! I mean I will literally have BSL hair at my finger tips and it just floats away like sands of the hourglass due to having to trim off splits & knots . I seriously contemplate just relaxing my problem areas (crown & nape) and calling it a day. But I then again, I do love my natural hair and even more importantly I love being able to say that I'm natural :crazy:, but I don't love battered looking ends

I think I may go back to using coconut milk consistently because it kept my porosity issues in check.

 

[Duchesse]

I've relapsed so many time. The main culprit? Lack of patience!

I always relaxed/texlaxed after around the 14 month point. This to me is the most awkward length of hair on me and with my texture. I would always be happy after I relaxed, then feel defeated and regretful shortly after. I have to accept that my hair does not operate well with any type of chemical, whether lye, no-lye, mild to super, even hair dyes. It always dries up and breaks off.

My hair is lower maintenance when natural versus when relaxed. When I was natural I didn't have fiftybijillion conditioners, reconstructers, rebuilders. (I also wasn't a hairboard member + pjism)

My first attempt at natural was in 2000. If I kept it going, I can only imagine how long my hair would be almost ten years later.

 

[fmnnity]

Sitting under the dryer. . . conditioning after texlax. I was natural for 5 years until today. The knots did me in. I lost about 5 inches due to knots. I gave up. Too soon to know if I regret mye decision. When/ if I do, my LHCF sisters will be the first to know.

 

[Princess2010]

I did last nite, i took out my 3 month sewn. love how much my hair had grown and the thickness i gain, i missed having relaxed hair so i fell to the creamy crack!!! But I learn and know now what i need to do to maintain my newly relaxed hair.

 

[BostonMaria]

i think i should, since i flatironed yesterday, go on a serch and distroy misson with these single strand knots. maybe afterwards i will feel better.

Boingboing, you have beautiful hair and I hope you don't relax it. I've been following your blog for a while and I remember when you were transitioning

Anyway maybe you could try doing something like a BKT where it isn't permanent. But before you try any chemical have you tried to figure out the cause of the single strand knots? Are you doing protective styles? Do you detangle every day? Are you doing daily wash and go's? Maybe if you get down to the root of the problem you can keep your hair natural.

Back in May I doing wash and go's almost every day, but for like 2 weeks straight I didn't protect my hair at night. I started noticing all these single strand knots and I freaked out. I cut them out but wow there were so many. At the end of May I did my hair at the salon and I think that all that heat made me have even more single strand knots. In June all I did was a combination of rollersetting, search and destroys, and limited my wash and go's to the weekends. I protect my hair every night now no matter what. Anyway I'm babbling LOL But my hair doesn't have those dreaded fairy knots anymore. My texture is very similiar to yours and it seems like natural hair isn't necessarily easier to take care of than relaxed hair, but its just trying to figure out what makes it tick.

I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do. Your relaxed hair was beautiful too so I know if you ever do decide to relax again you'll be fine.

 

[NappFrizz83]

I was natural for over 2 yrs and i just got tired of my single strand knots. my main goal was to grow my hair but no matter what i did it snapped and crackled and broke when i combed it and i wasn't making any progress. THEN i relaxed my hair and didn't like that either after a hair accident i chopped my hair off April 24,2009 and I'm currently natural now I'm going to texlax/texturize and have the best of both worlds =D. I don't regret my choices..it's just hair and you can always change your mind cause it keeps growing.

 

[lulumama]

I was natural for 3 yrs while i went back to school. Once I graduated and moved to another state for a job I had to relax because of the time it took to maintain my hair. I regret doing it myself. 1 1/2 yrs later I bc'd. Currently loving the natural life. This time around I have the benifit of learning from my past mistakes. Im wearing half wigs and no one even realizes I chopped my hair unless I tell them. So its the best of both worlds. I would just say educate yourself on all the alternatives before you make a decesion. I wish I would have known about BTK before I relaxed! Whatever you decide good luck.

 

[arlyndenee]

Wow. Okay, so I've been natural for nine years now. I've had lots of fun with my natural hair. I love being nappy. My hair grows sooo fast and retains length quite well as a nappy. The only thing is that for the last year, I've enjoyed wearing my hair straightened due to it taking me allllll day to twist my hair. I just simply don't have the time to invest into long natural hair anymore. And with working out, my flat ironing goes out the window. I'd hate to go back to relaxers but sometimes it seems like the only viable option. Can anyone share their experiences with texlaxing? I'd hate to lose my curl pattern completely, but a bit of manageability and timesaving would be ideal.

 

[hothair]

Re: Naturals who relapsed !

So I have been on this natural hair journey for almost 2.5 years (in November 09) and I am just tired now! I am giving myself until Dec of this year to make the choice to stay natural or go back to a texturizer/relaxer. Its like okay I know what my real hair looks like, it’s cute, next! I don't care about hair texture or type, I just want long hair. And these single strand knots are getting higher and getting in the way of having long hair for me.

What made you go back to the chemical? Did you feel "defeated" at all or regret the choice? I love my hair texture but I am tired of the maintenance that comes with being natural. It was liberating at first but now it’s becoming a time consuming money eating burden. I don't know what to do.

Advice???

THIS is what made me decide to BKT.

Firstly I could care less how nappy/coily/curly my hair is/can be, and I just wanted to enjoy it while growing it. BKT gave me the best of both worlds to anyone I don't mention it to, my hair looks natural (in WnGs) its always soft and moisturises easily and it straightens readily for style changes and its still tough enough to handle my colouring.

When I texlaxed previously I really regretted it. This is hands down the best treatment I've done for myself.

 

[cmw45]

I relaxed after constantly losing length because of single strand knots.

I think you have a good plan in giving yourself time to see if you can deal with the situation before jumping into a relaxer. (I gave myself a year)

The only thing that I'd recommend is that if you are going to relax, do some research in advance so that you can make an informed decision on the how, what and where. I think that regrets happen when a rash decision is made in either direction.

I have no regrets about relaxing again until there is a cure for single strand knots or I am fine with not growing my hair past a twa.

Good luck!

ITA! Single strand knots are the main reason I have considered relaxing in the past.

 

[Junebug D]

This is "relapse" #2 for me, lol. Too many knots, tangles, and breakage due to that, hair taking too much time to style only to not look very nice afterward, loss of my edges due to wearing puffs...

I'm just indecisive, I guess.

 

[Supervixen]

You all, we may have to have a mass textlaxing in Dec09. I am really contemplating it as I'm noticing these single strand knots. My hair was healthy and BSL relaxed. It had swang, and body. I probably will never fully relax again, but a texlax sounds great right about now. The versatility of a textlax is what I want. I want to be able to wear my hair straight and curly.

My natural styles are uncreative and I'm getting a little tired of the dry kinky look.

 

[MizzCoco]

I relapsed b/c I really had no idea how to take care of my natural hair...it was getting long and thick, and I got tired of wearing a puff. Sometimes I regret it, esp when I see all these beautiful twistouts. But I'm happy with my hair now, its healthy, relaxed and on its way to MBL...a combo that I never thought was possible until I found LHCF

 

[Ramya]

I didn't relapse. I'm still natural but I started getting single strand knots too. After talking to my stylist and my mother, I decided to be a straight natural. I rollerset or flatiron weekly now. I still wash and go when it's raining or when I'm being lazy but I haven't had any single strand knots since we started. Sometimes you have to do what's best for your hair.

ETA:Relaxing isn't an option for me. My scalp can't take it and I love the versatility of natural hair.

 

[toyagurl]

Re: Naturals who relapsed !

So I have been on this natural hair journey for almost 2.5 years (in November 09) and I am just tired now! I am giving myself until Dec of this year to make the choice to stay natural or go back to a texturizer/relaxer. Its like okay I know what my real hair looks like, it’s cute, next! I don't care about hair texture or type, I just want long hair. And these single strand knots are getting higher and getting in the way of having long hair for me.

What made you go back to the chemical? Did you feel "defeated" at all or regret the choice? I love my hair texture but I am tired of the maintenance that comes with being natural. It was liberating at first but now it’s becoming a time consuming money eating burden. I don't know what to do.

Advice???

I relapsed and I don't regret it at all. I know how to take care of my relaxed hair and all thought natural hair is beautiful I intended to press anyway. I live in a very humid part of the US so it just made more sense for me to relax instead of spending 3+ hours to straighten my 4b extremely thick natural hair. I tried it though and know for sure that relaxed is what I prefer.

 

[chebaby]

ITA with loolaloo. black soap, evoo, evco, honey, shea butter and a good conditioner like giovanni or trader joes is all i need. natural hair is not difficult if you find what works for you.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

What exactly are single strand knots?

 

[India*32]

I did relapsed TWO TIMES!!
Yes, this is the third time i go natural. But i have to be ashamed of myself the first time i did it because i returned to Dominican Republic and nobody wanted to hired me because of my fro - pretty stupid - but the second time i relaxed because i was bored of my hair style!! .. i can just style my hair one way .. so one day i wope up and said to my mom ... "i'm going to hae a relaxer, i'll be bach in a couple of hours". I din't rethink anything, just did it. When i felt mu hair relaxed i wanted to cry, but i keept it for a whole ywar.

Now i made the bif chope nine days ago and i'm loving it. I necer had long natural hair, but i just LOVE how girls looks with their big fros and i want to be one of them sometime. But honey, if you think is better for you to have a relaxed hair IS OK too, you just have to keep you hair healthy, either relaxed or natural. I just want you to think that if you want to be natural again, you will have to pass AGAIN, thru the whole process and it can be hard.

Anyway, good look in any you decide to do.

Ah, what a sweet mommy!

India

 

[jhcprincess]

I recently texlaxed after a 7 month stretch, because the knots and tangles were killing me. I didn't retain as much length as i'd like because of all the manipulation from weekly washing and twisting/bantu knotting. I was going to do a BKT next month, but I couldn't wait! I do not regret my decision, because I still can wear my hair straight and have a good amount of volume without puffy roots. I still plan to BKT, but until then I'll be hiding my hair under a wig.

 

[jamaraa]

Maybe you should vary it up a bit by hot combing/flat ironing or even just blow drying it straight. Sometimes you need something a bit different. Take it from someone who's been natural 99% of her life....a temp change can make a big difference about how you feel about your hair.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Yeah, at the 2.5 year mark I texlaxed. I just couldn't deal with how long it took to detangle my hair, how snarled up it would get, I was just over it. I thought texlaxing would let me keep some texture but would make it easier to handle.

It did both of those things, but my hair has been made much weaker now. I have unbelievable problems with splits. They just won't stop. I am now dealing with the two textures and will slowly snip off the texlaxed (damaged) hair. I wish I hadn't texlaxed at all, though it did look really pretty at first.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

What exactly are single strand knots?

When individual strands of hair tie themselves in one or more knots.

If you only have a few, then you probably won't notice and it's not a problem.

If you get alot like I was, it makes the ends of the hair feel 'crunchy'. It also makes the ends of the hair look raggedy, cuz there will be a bunch of little black dots on your ends. If shed hair gets caught in unclosed knots then here comes the tangles.

 

[jennboo]

Girl don't chemicalize, LOL.

Throw some fake straight hair in there for a few months until the relaxing bug goes away.

OR

Become a heat- straightened natural. At least then your hair will still remain thick and lush and won't get eaten up by toxic chems.

 

[Jade Feria]

I was natural for about a year..the reason I went natural in the first place was mainly because I had no idea how to take care of relaxed hair. It stayed at SL for years. Then when I was natural, I was fine with the health of my hair, but had no idea how to really tame it or style it. It would tangle so easily and was a battle to comb through, even though it was soft and felt moisturized. To keep the maintenance down, I had been wearing my hair in micro braids for a while, even while transitioning.

Then I wanted to learn how to install a weave. That's when I found BHM. That's also when I learned that people had tried and tested methods of hair growth and maintenance from home. Then I discovered LHCF and saw alot more examples of people with long hair...relaxed hair at that. With both sites, I learned how hair should be cared for. Even with the new info I obtained, my natural hair was a handful to maintain. It took alot of time to get it to look like how I wanted, and once I stepped outside, POOF, it was ruined (I lived in sunny, humid Miami). So then I took notes on how to grow and care for relaxed hair and I came back to the creamy crack! Now I don't relax 100% though..more like 60-70%, so you can say my hair is texlaxed.

I didn't regret it at all. My hair is lower maintenance now. It's easier to style into the looks that I like. I like the way straighter hair looks on me better than the fro. Yes, the fro was cute, but this is what I prefer. Now that I've seen how many people have achieved BSL, WSL and beyond with the same kind of hair that I have, I know I can do it too.