NATURAL MEN WHO DO NOT LIKE NATURAL WOMEN...OXYMORON?

Do you assume NATURAL MEN have more positive views about women with NATURAL HAIR?

  • Yes

    Votes: 79 46.5%

  • No

    Votes: 91 53.5%
  • Total voters
    170
  • Poll closed .
Seriously, what is up with all the mumblings of censorship? To suggest that the project be scrapped because of the opinion of a couple of negligibles is ludicrous. The expansion of knowledge comes from inquiry and even the ramblings of fools can teach you something e.g., you just learned that Mr. Africanboombata won't be checking for you if your hair texture isn't to his liking...and what? You may have just saved yourself a huge drycleaning bill because from his picture he looks a bit greasy and its hard to get oil out of silk....to allow the opinion of a man or women to disrupt your opinion of yourself is reflective of the lack of a healthy sense of self.

One of the greatest gifts we have been given is the gift of choice. You can either choose to let someone make you feel undesirable or you can choose to believe otherwise and to take it one step further if you choose to believe there is nothing to be gained from this project you have the choice not to follow it.
 
omegachick31 said:
Seriously, what is up with all the mumblings of censorship? To suggest that the project be scrapped because of the opinion of a couple of negligibles is ludicrous. The expansion of knowledge comes from inquiry and even the ramblings of fools can teach you something e.g., you just learned that Mr. Africanboombata won't be checking for you if your hair texture isn't to his liking...and what? You may have just saved yourself a huge drycleaning bill because from his picture he looks a bit greasy and its hard to get oil out of silk....to allow the opinion of a man or women to disrupt your opinion of yourself is reflective of the lack of a healthy sense of self.

One of the greatest gifts we have been given is the gift of choice. You can either choose to let someone make you feel undesirable or you can choose to believe otherwise and to take it one step further if you choose to believe there is nothing to be gained from this project you have the choice not to follow it.
Click to expand...

:clap: :clap:
 
Ha. Well most BM are "natural" and many of them (i've heard) don't like women with natural hair. So no reason to be surprised by that.

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, none of the men I've dated gave an ish aboiut how I wear my hair - relaxed, twisted, braid extensions, whatever. They might give a compliment now and then, but they didn't see it as something they were to meddle in or "approve" or "disapprove". I guess that's because I don't date idiots. Like Imani said, there are *plenty* guys out there who are checking for your type, so focus on them, instead of tying yourself up in knots because of random guy (who probably hasn't spent 0.1% of the time we have spent thinking about hair) says something about hair texture that you don't think is completely complimentary to your look.
 
Chocolatelove2010 said:
Don't we all discriminate?
Click to expand...

I think this is true, but I think the difference between preference and discrimination is that for the former, you just find something more attractive than another. For the latter, you find something more attractive and then feel the need to degrade things that do not fit into the preference. That's the difference for me. I prefer a certain type of guy but I'm not going to say that the guy who doesn't fit that needs to do something like "get in a corner" or assume they are a bad person because they don't fit my preference. Discrimination has more to do with perception of people and less to do with visual appeal imho. And that's what bugged me about his clarification. I could care less that he does not find my coils attractive, but the audacity to say that I can still be an "outstanding" person as if they are evil and as if they have ANYTHING to do with my character is discrimination - not preference.
 
He's coming across as arrogant, but the truth is he's just saying what he's really thinking. Some guys don't like certain types of natural hair if it doesn't curl. I think its shallow, stupid and a** backward thinking. I just feel bad for those women that are thinking of transitioning and read stuff like this. Hopefully this won't discourage anyone from transitioning. Not everybody is going to like your hair. Some people think that curls are the IT thing and everybody loves them. I'm 3b/3c and not everybody loves my hair. I tell those people to kick rocks.
 
omegachick31 said:
Seriously, what is up with all the mumblings of censorship? To suggest that the project be scrapped because of the opinion of a couple of negligibles is ludicrous. The expansion of knowledge comes from inquiry and even the ramblings of fools can teach you something e.g., you just learned that Mr. Africanboombata won't be checking for you if your hair texture isn't to his liking...and what? You may have just saved yourself a huge drycleaning bill because from his picture he looks a bit greasy and its hard to get oil out of silk....to allow the opinion of a man or women to disrupt your opinion of yourself is reflective of the lack of a healthy sense of self.
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Hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lachen::lachen::lachen:
Ladies he'll probably end up taking all your butters and conditioners anyway. No love lost there!

BTW here's MY confession. I hate locs on men :grin:
My DH has long hair down his back (I think he's 4a/3c) and I hate it. Not because he's "natural" but because I hate long hair on men PERIOD. But he refuses to cut it. Its always in braids or in a ponytail. Hate it! Maybe I attribute his long hair as feminine, kinda like some BM don't like natural short hair/TWA's because they think it makes us look masculine. I'm >>this close<< to shaving it off while he's sleeping.
 
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doll-baby said:
For some guy's being natural, having dreds is just a style. They don't really put any kind of deep thought into it. A lot of guys in Chicago are doing the whole dred thing but will be the first to call a woman "nappy headed" if she wears her natural hair.
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I know this is a little off topic but I never knew people did that before I got to the US. It's really just a hairstyle for most of them here. I remember the first time I saw a loced man eating meat I was staring in disbelief lol. Back home, it's a way of life. There's a very natural lifestyle that goes along with being a rasta..part of their religion and all.
 
I guess he's never watched SNAPPED. Most of those women have 1/2 hair textures. Very rarely are the 3/4's on that show.
 
Just because he's natural doesn't mean he doesn't have a hair texture complex. I hear it all the time on this board and in real life of natural women who give up because "they can't deal with their hair" or "like their hair better straight" and relax their hair. How is what he said any different than women who voice the same opinion about themselves?
 
Hmm....

Dark-skinned, nice face/body, over grooms himself to the point of looking homosexual, and pose like he's an underwear model. Is there any surprise that he's shallow? My preference in men are the ones that are good looking but don't really know it, rather than these jerks who are completely full of themselves. And look, he's not all that bright either... not a surprise. The list of insults I would have for this man... and the worst part is, I would just enjoy bursting his ego sooo much. Starting with the grooming... ew. A man like this wants a "trophy" girl that complements his "good looks" and huge ego. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he choses a smoking hot woman with tight clothes and way too much make up.


For most men, hair is just hair. His locks are just a hair style. They don't mean anything. I know people want to believe that a man with locks is suppose to be deep and spiritual and understand the evils of straight hair. But the truth is, my brother has extremely long locks very intelligent but doesn't like my hair straight because it looks TOO good. (He's the overprotective type) All of his girl friends have straight hair, so whatever.

Honestly, I could care less if what my man thinks of my hair. In fact I like him to care less about my hair, too. That way I don't have to explain why I have 100+ bottles of products and devices that I just HAD to have. Then our conversations can be nice and short.

"Baby, why you need all this..."

[Evil eye]

"Ok..."


Men shouldn't delve deeply into a woman's physical appearance. We're talking about something that is very personal to us; our hair. It would bother me if a man suddenly told me he'd want me to look ANY way full time, because I like having control over my appearance. Meaning, short or long hair , skinny or thicker body, dressy or casual, natural or straight; that's MY choice. I'm flattered by the guys that love it, but in the end that's my preference that matters.

With hair, natural or straight, some men may like it, some not. But what's truly important is that they accept and support us, because a lot of people in the outside world won't. If this or any other shallow guy would rather you be unhappy and look the way THEY want, then they're not worth a minute of your time.
 
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BostonMaria I have been working on a "Her Confessions" segment...maybe you and your beautiful hair can be apart of it :)

& I'm sure John is blushing with every comment. ...for the record, how he comes off in the interview is how he is in person :)
 
A random snapshot of a groups attitudes, trends and beliefs is not there to inspire or impress, it simply is. I found the people who commented in this thread a more analytical manner rather than emotional had a lot of interesting ideas that set about answering the OPs question.

Im a darkskinned 4A/B and If I conducted a bigger study into black mens opinions on skin shade and hair "grade" in my country the results would not be in my looks favour:lol: However because I love studying attitudes and beliefs I can look at a trend, have it fascinate me but still retain my sense of self worth as a beautiful black woman. Ah I can't pretend I am not surprised when supposedly very confident, but can't handle any opposing views of their attributes.
However, I can't stand it when magazines survey a hundred random men and then tell you it's OK to look a certain way because they said so:yawn:. I assume WNB conducted the interviews out of general random interest though.
 
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lol, doesn't surprise me in the least.

He told the truth. We know it's not right, but that's the real world. He's entitled to his opinion and selection of a mate.

I'm type 4 myself. Don't care who approves and doesn't approve. :ohwell:
 
The reality is there are some people out there who have negative views toward natural hair. There's nothing what's wrong with this guy expressing views, which actually reflects the way some people think. Indeed, even some black men with long natural hair can still hold negative views on unprocessed hair. I remember this guy with shoulder length natural hair braids saying, "it's a shame for a woman to have hair like me".

The thing is, how will you react when someone says "You don't have the right texture to go natural" or "You need a perm" because inevitably all comments will not be positive. Although embracing our natural God given texture is great.

How can we teach natural haired women (or potential women who want to go natural) how to brush off the negativity and still wear their hair with confidence?

That's what I took from this interview.

YouTube - Men & Natural Hair: Part 2
 
tickledpinkies09 said:
A random snapshot of a groups attitudes, trends and beliefs is not there to inspire or impress, it simply is. I found the people who commented in this thread a more analytical manner rather than emotional had a lot of interesting ideas that set about answering the OPs question.

Im a darkskinned 4A/B and If I conducted a bigger study into black mens opinions on skin shade and hair "grade" in my country the results would not be in my looks favour:lol: However because I love studying attitudes and beliefs I can look at a trend, have it fascinate me but still retain my sense of self worth as a beautiful black woman. Ah I can't pretend I am not surprised when supposedly very confident, but can't handle any opposing views of their attributes.
However, I can't stand it when magazines survey a hundred random men and then tell you it's OK to look a certain way because they said so:yawn:. I assume WNB conducted the interviews out of general random interest though.
Click to expand...

GraciousMystique said:
The reality is there are some people out there who have negative views toward natural hair. There's nothing what's wrong with this guy expressing views, which actually reflects the way some people think. Indeed, even some black men with long natural hair can still hold negative views on unprocessed hair. I remember this guy with shoulder length natural hair braids saying, "it's a shame for a woman to have hair like me".

The thing is, how will you react when someone says "You don't have the right texture to go natural" or "You need a perm" because inevitably all comments will not be positive. Although embracing our natural God given texture is great.

How can we teach natural haired women (or potential women who want to go natural) how to brush off the negativity and still wear their hair with confidence?

That's what I took from this interview.

YouTube - Men & Natural Hair: Part 2
Click to expand...

Exactly. WestND did this for the purpose of getting information out, of course overall she wants it to be positive but it's also meant to be realistic. Not every man will love natural hair, however you're not meant to focus on the one or two that don't. You're supposed to look at the overall big picture of realizing that men of different hairstyles, personal styles, attitudes and backgrounds will find beauty in you. That you are special to them, I saw one of the men say that women who could rock a short hairstyle had a special place in his heart. That's definitely touching because that's not the popular opinion. Putting down this one dude is giving him too much attention, people like him don't need an angry response because it's only going to fulfill what he already thinks. Totally ignoring him while praising the other men would have probably been better.

In the end though I think any women thinking about going natural or women who are natural should be exposed to all viewpoints including the negative....so they are better able to rise above. Fact is you're going to be exposed to those viewpoints when you leave your front door and by preparing ahead of time and surrounding yourself with the positive you'll have more peace than basing your opinion on only the positive or only the negative. In the end regardless of what everyone else thinks you'll need to have the guts to do your own thing (look at Rihanna)

WestND says she's interested in doing a female version and I imagine her results would be about the same if she gets a varied pool, not just women on hair boards.
 
westNDNbeauty said:
BostonMaria I have been working on a "Her Confessions" segment...maybe you and your beautiful hair can be apart of it :)

& I'm sure John is blushing with every comment. ...for the record, how he comes off in the interview is how he is in person :)
Click to expand...

Oh damn! LOL
Only if you hide my face! LOL Because I love the fool and I'd hate to hurt his feelings if he sees that article LMFAO
 
GraciousMystique said:
The reality is there are some people out there who have negative views toward natural hair. There's nothing what's wrong with this guy expressing views, which actually reflects the way some people think. Indeed, even some black men with long natural hair can still hold negative views on unprocessed hair. I remember this guy with shoulder length natural hair braids saying, "it's a shame for a woman to have hair like me".

The thing is, how will you react when someone says "You don't have the right texture to go natural" or "You need a perm" because inevitably all comments will not be positive. Although embracing our natural God given texture is great.

How can we teach natural haired women (or potential women who want to go natural) how to brush off the negativity and still wear their hair with confidence?

That's what I took from this interview.

YouTube - Men & Natural Hair: Part 2
Click to expand...

Watched that video....WOW! Felt like I was back in college. That was the majority reaction I got from guys back then and many years later I am still natural and still loving it!

@GraciousMystique you are definitely right. As naturals we have to build up tolerance and prepare for the negative views and comments. They will come. In time you'll definitely become "immune" to it all. I have. I'm confident within myself and ignorance doesn't really bother me as much, if at all anymore.

Take it with a grain of salt.
 
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Dunno, he just seems to be a bit simple to me. I wouldn't pay him the time of day anyway you look at it.

I'm sure that there are plenty of men that wear their hair natural that prefer the straight look. I don't see it as an oxymoron, what they want for themselves, might not be what they want for their woman. Now whether she has to cohones not to care or take it to heart if he tells her this is something entirely different.
 
I get the preference part to his answers, but not the 'bad hair' comment.
I mean come on did your hair grow out of your head locked???
What is your natural texture?
Are you calling your own hair bad hair?
Are you one of these people you claim to have bad hair but still try to be an outstanding person??
is the fact that you are locked uplifted your status ( I maybe going overboard now lol*):look:

This to me is like dark skinned people referring to other dark skinned people in disgust as burnt and crispy and i'm like are you serious...wtf?!?
But I agree just dust the dirt off your shoulder and keep it moving....
 
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