Myspace & Relationships...Would you be Mad if your man.....

[vikkisecret]

Has a problem with puttin "In a Relationship" on his myspace page b/c he said that he dosen't feel comfortable...he wants to keep it how it was before he met me. He says I should trust him and he's only talking to people as friends... oh yeah (FYI he was talkin to a gurl from there and took her out on a few dates before we met eachother...and hmmm..i'm not feelin it. What do you ladies think? WOULD YOU be upset if your SO was sayin that. I mean dayum we do live together. Am i the only one who thinks that the internet has made cheating and accessibility that much more prevelent in relationships?I need opinions ladies.

 

[MsKipani]

The internet and relationships are a tough mix. My SO didn't put "in a relationship" for a while but I never mentioned it. I put "in a relationship" but that was on my own accord. I trust him, but then again, we'd been together at least 3 years at that point. It didn't really matter to me. Then one day, out of nowhere, I saw that he changed it to "in a relationship" I never said anything and still never mentioned it. Neither of us have slideshows with pics of each other either. He's # 1 on my friends list, but that's it. Myspace shouldn't be the proving factor of your relationship, but if you feel funny about something, go with your gut.

 

[gone_fishing]

WHOA!

If this was a spanking brand new relationship...I'd say just be patient (a little) but you all live together?

Yes, I'd have a problem. If you are in a relationship, why would he want to advertise otherwise.

A man that really cares about you wouldn't have a problem sharing his status with the world.

He is trying to hide something and those are cop-outs...not even logical ones.

But IF you want to check him out....I'm sure there's a few folks on here that could arrange a set up...after all...we are from all over...

 

[Xavier]

I have know so many people who have had a similar situation.

Now if we are just dating... No I don't expect him to change his status on his page.

Once the relationship does get serious...Then yes he needs to go ahead and declare that he is in a relationship.

Also "In a realtionship" won't stop women from pursuing him.

 

[MsKipani]

WHOA!

If this was a spanking brand new relationship...I'd say just be patient (a little) but you all live together?

Yes, I'd have a problem. If you are in a relationship, why would he want to advertise otherwise.

A man that really cares about you wouldn't have a problem sharing his status with the world.

He is trying to hide something and those are cop-outs...not even logical ones.

But IF you want to check him out....I'm sure there's a few folks on here that could arrange a set up...after all...we are from all over...

lol oh gosh!

 

[gone_fishing]

I have know so many people who have had a similar situation.

Now if we are just dating... No I don't expect him to change his status on his page.

Once the relationship does get serious...Then yes he needs to go ahead and declare that he is in a relationship.

Also "In a realtionship" won't stop women from pursuing him.

If she has a good man to begin with, women pursuing HIM shouldn't make a difference. It's the other way around that I suspect is a problem. Women will DEFINITELY pursue him regardless but probably more so if he's walking around declaring single status.

I say we send in a private investigator.

 

[Suerte]

The in a relationship status is nothing.

Married is something

So many people put up that they are with someone just to cut the losers by 50%. Then some actually ARE with someone and their status don't mean a thing to them.

Usually people put MARRIED to signify that they are in a relationship, actually married, or just don't want to date.

But a man unwilling to change his status when y'all LIVE TOGETHER is a sign of a serious concern. It means that the girls he talks to online still think he is single, or just think he is "dating someone but it ain't gonna go nowhere", if that makes sense.

 

[gone_fishing]

The in a relationship status is nothing.

Married is something

So many people put up that they are with someone just to cut the losers by 50%. Then some actually ARE with someone and their status don't mean a thing to them.

Usually people put MARRIED to signify that they are in a relationship, actually married, or just don't want to date.

But a man unwilling to change his status when y'all LIVE TOGETHER is a sign of a serious concern. It means that the girls he talks to online still think he is single, or just think he is "dating someone but it ain't gonna go nowhere", if that makes sense.

I have IN A RELATIONSHIP on my profile...BUT my page is also set to private and my friend's list is just people I know in real life and a few LHCF cousins (even fewer since that last shadey incident).

I guess it's how much you trust this guy...I mean he can be doing something no matter what his status says. It's just that if he refuses to do it...that's already a big red flag without any other clues.

 

[cocoberry10]

WHOA!

If this was a spanking brand new relationship...I'd say just be patient (a little) but you all live together?

Yes, I'd have a problem. If you are in a relationship, why would he want to advertise otherwise.

A man that really cares about you wouldn't have a problem sharing his status with the world.

He is trying to hide something and those are cop-outs...not even logical ones.

But IF you want to check him out....I'm sure there's a few folks on here that could arrange a set up...after all...we are from all over...

I completely agree with this! I feel like if you all are exclusive (not just dating, but he calls you/considers you his girlfriend), it seems odd to me that he won’t change it. It’s definitely up to you. If his behavior in every other area is cool, then I would wait. If his actions are questionable, you have some decisions to make (and only you can make these decisions)!

 

[gone_fishing]

THEY APPARENTLY ARE SERIOUS OR THEY SHOULDN'T BE LIVING TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

Just saying that to no one inparticular...I don't want to overlook that point. It doesn't seem like she's just some chic he's dating.

 

[foxxymami]

I would have a problem with it. I wouldn't be mad necessarily, but I would wonder why

 

[gone_fishing]

Normally, I wouldn't say this and I know some women are like...if you don't trust him then why are you with him but you won't know until you KNOW in this case.

I say send him some bait...see if he bites.

 

[Xavier]

If she has a good man to begin with, women pursuing HIM shouldn't make a difference. It's the other way around that I suspect is a problem. Women will DEFINITELY pursue him regardless but probably more so if he's walking around declaring single status.

I say we send in a private investigator.

ITA. I just mentioned it because whether he declares it or not, tempation will still be present online or off so in the end it really doesn't matter. But I would personally want the "In Relationship" status myself.

 

[vikkisecret]

WHOA!

If this was a spanking brand new relationship...I'd say just be patient (a little) but you all live together?

Yes, I'd have a problem. If you are in a relationship, why would he want to advertise otherwise.

A man that really cares about you wouldn't have a problem sharing his status with the world.

He is trying to hide something and those are cop-outs...not even logical ones.

But IF you want to check him out....I'm sure there's a few folks on here that could arrange a set up...after all...we are from all over...

Aww thanks adequate!

LoL it was nice to see that you understood my exact feelings. I feel the same way and i'm just alittle annoyed...that he's not seeing my point. If you love me so much, if we moved in together, and you talk of plans of marriage...why? We have already had at least 3 full blown yelling arguments about it. He dosen't understand why it's a big deal and that myspace isn't the end all of our relationship...it's just the principle of the whole thing...

 

[gone_fishing]

Aww thanks adequate!

LoL it was nice to see that you understood my exact feelings. I feel the same way and i'm just alittle annoyed...that he's not seeing my point. If you love me so much, if we moved in together, and you talk of plans of marriage...why? We have already had at least 3 full blown yelling arguments about it. He dosen't understand why it's a big deal and that myspace isn't the end all of our relationship...it's just the principle of the whole thing...

So what are you going to do?

 

[p31woman]

I have IN A RELATIONSHIP on my profile...BUT my page is also set to private and my friend's list is just people I know in real life and a few LHCF cousins (even fewer since that last shadey incident).

I guess it's how much you trust this guy...I mean he can be doing something no matter what his status says.I It's just that if he refuses to do it...that's already a big red flag without any other clues.

To me this is the bottom line.

 

[gone_fishing]

Based on his current behavior...even if you argued him down and he changed it tomorrow...would you be confident that he was acting right or would you have an attitude that you had to FORCE him to change it rather than him doing it on his own.

I think I'd have an attitude if I had to fight for that small amount of respect...

 

[p31woman]

Aww thanks adequate!

LoL it was nice to see that you understood my exact feelings. I feel the same way and i'm just alittle annoyed...that he's not seeing my point. If you love me so much, if we moved in together, and you talk of plans of marriage...why? We have already had at least 3 full blown yelling arguments about it. He dosen't understand why it's a big deal and that myspace isn't the end all of our relationship...it's just the principle of the whole thing...

I agree. There is a reason for everything. My bestfried never put "in a relationship" up. He claimed he didn't like to put his relationship on blast.

I just think it's about respect. If you told him it would make you happy and it's not harming anyone, whats the point of not doing it? It sure would save a lot of arguements. I wonder how he would feel if you changed yours to single too?

I would do it and see his reaction.

 

[aja1121]

I've been in the same predicament.....but worse. First, I met mine on there. He had 4 pages....all private except for the one I knew, wouldn't except me as a friend for the other pages I found, though he did change the status to the one I knew about.........and we live together. That was about a year ago.

PM me for more details.

 

[vikkisecret]

THEY APPARENTLY ARE SERIOUS OR THEY SHOULDN'T BE LIVING TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

Just saying that to no one inparticular...I don't want to overlook that point. It doesn't seem like she's just some chic he's dating.

No I'm not just a random chic. I am his gf.. but this does bother me. Besides that everything else in out relationship is just about perfect...jus confused on the matter and wanted to knoe if I was overreacting?

 

[strawberry-jelly]

Yes. I would have a problem with it....which would create problems for him.

 

[Keen]

I've been in the same predicament.....but worse. First, I met mine on there. He had 4 pages....all private except for the one I knew, wouldn't except me as a friend for the other pages I found, though he did change the status to the one I knew about.........and we live together. That was about a year ago.

PM me for more details.

That's suspect. Why does he need 4 for?

 

[BAP28]

i think that really effed up why he doesnt want to pu tin a rlp..wtf --if it sno big deal why cant he put it...

and i think myspace is a breathing ground for cheating and etc...

you need to check him..iif it bothers you then he should be able to fix that ish ASAP....*** the bullish he is spewing...

Has a problem with puttin "In a Relationship" on his myspace page b/c he said that he dosen't feel comfortable...he wants to keep it how it was before he met me. He says I should trust him and he's only talking to people as friends... oh yeah (FYI he was talkin to a gurl from there and took her out on a few dates before we met eachother...and hmmm..i'm not feelin it. What do you ladies think? WOULD YOU be upset if your SO was sayin that. I mean dayum we do live together. Am i the only one who thinks that the internet has made cheating and accessibility that much more prevelent in relationships?I need opinions ladies.

 

[Summer_Rain]

Yes. I would have a problem with it....which would create problems for him.

^I agree. Though Myspace isn't and should not be the end all be all to a relationship - lets not be so naieve that we don't see and accept myspace for what IT IS.

Who's on his(generally speaking) friends list that he doesn't want to answer too...ex girlfriends? homeboys? Whenever I see "in a relationship" or "married" I IMMEDIATELY glance to the #1 spot (even when I don't know the person) just out of curiosity. It doesn't break or make the relationship...but it is suspect as hell!

My cousin is married, and both she AND her husband list themselves as single, neither are each others #1...and I'm always like WTH is that foolishness??!!

 

[Sasha Fierce]

Aww thanks adequate!

LoL it was nice to see that you understood my exact feelings. I feel the same way and i'm just alittle annoyed...that he's not seeing my point. If you love me so much, if we moved in together, and you talk of plans of marriage...why? We have already had at least 3 full blown yelling arguments about it. He dosen't understand why it's a big deal and that myspace isn't the end all of our relationship...it's just the principle of the whole thing...

That's a blazing red hot flag there :burning:. A sad attempt to turn it on you as if you are being unreasonable and he must "stand by his principles".

When someone is doing dirty, a succesful tactic is to turn it around on the innocent individual. I had three years of experience with this happening to me. Run!

*Take what I say with a grain of salt. This scenario is just too creepily familiar for me*

 

[Laginappe]

I agree. There is a reason for everything. My bestfried never put "in a relationship" up. He claimed he didn't like to put his relationship on blast.

I just think it's about respect. If you told him it would make you happy and it's not harming anyone, whats the point of not doing it? It sure would save a lot of arguements. I wonder how he would feel if you changed yours to single too?

I would do it and see his reaction.

I agree with everyone else, especially the bolded. If its not a big deal, its not a big deal so change it. Unless it IS a big deal and he's just gaslighting you over his real reasons for not changing it.

And yeah, it is "just" MySpace but that page is supposed to be representative of him isn't it? If all of the details were tweaked - saying he's 98 instead of 28, or living in Seattle instead of Atlanta... then the relationship status wouldn't be a deal. But for him to have a whole page up, and that's the only thing that's not kosher?

It makes me think what would his answer be if someone came up to him in a face-to-face situation and asked about his relationship status? Judging by his MS page, he'd answer how exactly?

I'm laughing here at the offers for private detective work. Good looking out ladies!

 

[dlewis]

I would be very very upset.

 

[ladylibra_30]

it would bother me tremendously.

 

[vikkisecret]

^I agree. Though Myspace isn't and should not be the end all be all to a relationship - lets not be so naieve that we don't see and accept myspace for what IT IS.

Who's on his(generally speaking) friends list that he doesn't want to answer too...ex girlfriends? homeboys? Whenever I see "in a relationship" or "married" I IMMEDIATELY glance to the #1 spot (even when I don't know the person) just out of curiosity. It doesn't break or make the relationship...but it is suspect as hell!

My cousin is married, and both she AND her husband list themselves as single, neither are each others #1...and I'm always like WTH is that foolishness??!!

Generally, he has his homeboys and everything that he talks to or sees but he talks more with females. I mean I do trust him and I knew that before we even got together. Almost all of the people on his friends list are females. The #1 spot is myself. Haha suspect is the right word! Actin like people don't get at eachother on myspace is so weak and he is being nieve to the situation. But hey I'm supposed to be the understanding, laid-back girlfriend who waits while gurls are throwin
a$$ at my man. LoL..ya'll don't know...I had to fend off about 8 females that he was friends wit.


Three Options I have Decided on:

#1 : Wait it out and just keep random tabs on his page w/o saying anything

#2: Bring it up again in a month or so with a better argument for why I feel the way I do

#3: Try to forget about it and leave him alone

 

[gone_fishing]

Generally, he has his homeboys and everything that he talks to or sees but he talks more with females. I mean I do trust him and I knew that before we even got together. Almost all of the people on his friends list are females. The #1 spot is myself. Haha suspect is the right word! Actin like people don't get at eachother on myspace is so weak and he is being nieve to the situation. But hey I'm supposed to be the understanding, laid-back girlfriend who waits while gurls are throwin
a$$ at my man. LoL..ya'll don't know...I had to fend off about 8 females that he was friends wit.


Three Options I have Decided on:

#1 : Wait it out and just keep random tabs on his page w/o saying anything

#2: Bring it up again in a month or so with a better argument for why I feel the way I do

#3: Try to forget about it and leave him alone

OR #4 you could have a few people test him to see what he's doing. erplexed