My white neighbor asked me if my flat ironed hair was a weave. Is that an insult?

Misshairdiva

Misshairdiva

Well-Known Member
For the last five months I have been wearing my hair in the wash n go style. When its curly its only shoulder length. When its straight its bsl.
My white neighbor asked me when did I have time to go and put a weave in my hair...
I told her I dont have a weave that its my hair! Then she looked very confused, even had to touch it to see if it was real....

Should I take this as a compliment that my hair grew so long from the last five months that she can't believe its that long.. or..
should I take it as an insult that Black women can't grow our hair long??
 
I'd be pissed, but honestly most white people are ignorant. I'd probably eyeroll after all that and ask if she felt "enlightened" now.
 
I wouldn't take it as an insult. I have had to explain to my Caucasian friends about shrinkage and the versatility of black hair. Most likely, your neighbor just didn't know.
 
Her ignorance was showing it is a good opening to educate her. One more enlightened person of non color. :yep:
 
Neither insult nor compliment, it's ignorance on her part as to the amazing power of shrinkage. :lachen:

I mean, really, usually when hair goes from shoulder length to BSL overnight - it's a weave. Let's be real, here. :lachen:
 
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I think you should ask her why she thought it was a weave. After she responds you have a chance to educate her about curly and coily hair and shrinkage. That is, if you're interested in educating her.

I am concerned that all this Oprah, Tyra, Chris Rock hair talk is going to make non Black folks assume they know what is going on with our hair, even if they still have very little idea... 
 
Insult! After you told her it's your hair, she insulted you further by asking to touch it as if you were lying. Some people....
 
peony said:
I think you should ask her why she thought it was a weave. After she responds you have a chance to educate her about curly and coily hair and shrinkage. That is, if you're interested in educating her.

I am concerned that all this Oprah, Tyra, Chris Rock hair talk is going to make non Black folks assume they know what is going on with our hair, even if they still have very little idea... 
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I really hate that we continue to be an enigma to these folks when we've been living in this country for 400 years.

I really, REALLY hate the fact that Tyra brings up our issues to be ridiculed and critiqued by these same folks who look at us like creatures from out of space.

I'm bothered by Chris Rock's "Good Hair" movie that will have folks asking even MORE stupid "curiosity" questions and that he checked Oprah's head for tracks. I actually didn't care if it was O's hair or not. His track checking reminded me of some stupid mess Barbara Walters would pull on unsuspecting black female guest hosts.

I don't want to be asked stupid questions by people who are not f____king me.
 
Lots of people regardless of race are going to wonder when they see your hair go from shoulder to BSL overnight.

The way that shrinkage... especially UBER shrinkage works is not common knowledge, period.

I agree that the part where she just had to touch to see if it was real... that's a bit extra.

but was she doing it with attitude? Or was she genuinely shocked?

We are all only human. I could see how you shocked the pants off of her with your beautiful, long hair. If she didn't have attitude or anything, maybe she didn't MEAN for it to come out that way.

I'm sure everyone can relate... lots of people blurt things out when they are surprised.
 
jada1111 said:
Man, blame Tyra and Chris Rock (Good Hair) for that question.
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I agree. I watched that show and though it was good in some respects Oprah was like "You just outted black women everywhere!" and I was like really? I wore at one period in my life when my hair was growing out, but not ALL my life. My mom has never worn one, none of my family members have every worn one. I was thinking, now every time a white women sees me with my hair straightened and really long they're going to think I have a weave and how we can all talk about it now!:lachen:Heck Oprah even mentioned that we are going to answer questions that white women were afraid to ask. But the slant seemed to be: We all wear weaves to add length, because our hair is too much, we have bad hair months (not days like white women), and sometimes we cut it short like solange if we are tired of the whole weave thing (not that we just grow our hair out or that our hair is capable of being long on it's own...with the exception of oprah. With Oprah chris rock said now that's "RICH" as if the only reason her hair is longer is because she's rich and has more resources then poorer black people). Good luck with that!
 
It's an opportunity for you as a woman of color to enlighten..even in the wilds of West Virginia. Don't be so sensitive. When people think your hair looks fake it means it looks that good.
 
jada1111 said:
I really hate that we continue to be an enigma to these folks when we've been living in this country for 400 years.

I really, REALLY hate the fact that Tyra brings up our issues to be ridiculed and critiqued by these same folks who look at us like creatures from out of space.

I'm bothered by Chris Rock's "Good Hair" movie that will have folks asking even MORE stupid "curiosity" questions and that he checked Oprah's head for tracks. I actually didn't care if it was O's hair or not. His track checking reminded me of some stupid mess Barbara Walters would pull on unsuspecting black female guest hosts.

I don't want to be asked stupid questions by people who are not f____king me.
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I agree, however we are an enigma with each other. Many of us are still ignorant about our own hair and how to properly care for it. Why does our dirty laundry yet again have to be made internationally public instead of dealt with amoung ourselves. The problem I had with Chris Rock was back stage when he told Oprah that most Black women don't have hair like that. Why doesn't Chris Rock do a documentary about why the world still believes that Jesus was Black?
 
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Some people may take this as an insult some may not. IMO, just have enough sense to stay away from the question; especially since you don't know who may or may not take it the wrong way.
 
Mleah said:
It's an opportunity for you as a woman of color to enlighten..even in the wilds of West Virginia. Don't be so sensitive. When people think your hair looks fake it means it looks that good.
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Most fake hair looks terrible, but I got your idea! :grin: ;)
 
Would you be offended if she was black? :look: In most cases, non blacks and blacks really are ignorant about natural hair and the shrinkage factor.:nono: Don't be mad, because your hair was so gorgeous, you made her go :blush::shocked::drool:. Your hair made her do a double take.:lachen:
 
Not an insult, just ignorance and curiosity.

I didn't fully understand shrinkage until I joined this site. And to tell the truth, I'm still amazed by it. I was just looking and someone's pictures the other day and was in awe of the difference in length after a flatiron.

I think we need to stop being so offended by everything.
 
jada1111 said:
Man, blame Tyra and Chris Rock (Good Hair) for that question.
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hehe. I went out to supper the night that show aired. I didn't actually see the show so I didn't know what was said really. But some white lady behind me was having a conversation with her husband and looked toward me and my natural nappy head and was like "Yeah, men don't really care what your hair looks like". I thought that was an odd comment to make. I didn't know why she was staring me down as she said it to her husband. But then I watched the show and Chris Rock made a comment like that. Idk maybe it was nothing. I thought it was funny.
 
CurlyMoo said:
I agree, however we are an enigma with each other. Many of us are still ignorant about our own hair and how to properly care for it. Why does our dirty laundry yet again have to be made internationally public instead of dealt with amoung ourselves. The problem I had with Chris Rock was back stage when he told Oprah that most Black women don't have hair like that. Why doesn't Chris Rock do a documentary about why the world still believes that Jesus was Black?
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Yea, that comment of his really annoyed me as well. I have seen a lot of black women with long hair (excluding the people on this board)
 
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