My white neighbor asked me if my flat ironed hair was a weave. Is that an insult?

i wouldn't b insulted. she really doesn't know. aww tha babie don't understand. just explain to her all the versatility we have with our hair. when it's wet, curly, dry, bush, straight. natural, relaxed, up, down, all around, weaved, real,. everything. we have the most styles at our fingertips!
 
I don't see it as an insult either. I agree with Neith about the touchy-feely thing being extra, though. I get that you don't know how our hair is, heck, most of US don't know how our hair is, but that doesn't mean you have to act brand new when someone takes the time to answer you.

Anyways, I wouldn't think on it. It's obvious she thought your hair was beautiful. Just be happy and K.I.M.

And um...I don't understand this irritance with our hair being "exposed." What do you mean by "exposed?" It's not like people don't know black women wear weave, or chemically straighten their hair. They may not know the process, or what we fully go through, but doesn't that warrant a need to enlighten? People always want to get mad because someone doesn't know, but you don't want to tell them? That's bass ackwards imo.
 
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Misshairdiva said:
My white neighbor asked me when did I have time to go and put a weave in my hair...This was the ignorance
I told her I dont have a weave that its my hair! Then she looked very confused, even had to touch it to see if it was real....this was the insult

QUOTE]

You told her it was your hair..no need for her to weave check you like you was lying:ohwell:
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kandake said:
Not an insult, just ignorance and curiosity.

I didn't fully understand shrinkage until I joined this site. And to tell the truth, I'm still amazed by it. I was just looking and someone's pictures the other day and was in awe of the difference in length after a flatiron.

I think we need to stop being so offended by everything.
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I know. I was in someone's fotki and was like... :shocked: at the shrinkage.

If I didn't see them stretch it out, I wouldn't know it was THAT long.

And this is coming from me, Neith the hairboard junkie. :lol:
 
I see no reason to be annoyed. If someone doesn't know then they don't know; educate the person. People are way too sensitive about certain things.
 
How is asking if you have a weave an insult? Am I missing something here? I thought it was kind of a compliment. :look:
 
It's only an insult if it was to you. You know her and only you know the context of her words.

If you had to ask, it's probably not an insult.
 
Is this that same neighbor from your previous threads (about your black friend and people overstepping their boundaries by wanting her husband to stay at your house). If it is....I think she's out of bounds and needs to be checked
 
No, it wasn't an insult. She just didn't know. If I saw you and you had SL hair one day and then the next day you had BSL hair. I would think one of 2 things: 1. it's a weave or 2. you are natural and had it straighten.
 
kblc06 said:
Is this that same neighbor from your previous threads (about your black friend and people overstepping their boundaries by wanting her husband to stay at your house). If it is....I think she's out of bounds and needs to be checked
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Oooh, yeah, good point!! That lady was a lil - offbalance - from before. :nono:
 
Look at my hair, there are people on this board and natural hair dressers IRL that find it hard to believe I am a relaxed head when it's W&G.

And I've been in the same church for years and people are still wondering if I have a weave.

Touching me is a whole other matter or insinuating that I'm a liar.:nono2:
 
luckiestdestiny said:
I agree. I watched that show and though it was good in some respects Oprah was like "You just outted black women everywhere!" and I was like really? I wore at one period in my life when my hair was growing out, but not ALL my life. My mom has never worn one, none of my family members have every worn one. I was thinking, now every time a white women sees me with my hair straightened and really long they're going to think I have a weave and how we can all talk about it now!:lachen:Heck Oprah even mentioned that we are going to answer questions that white women were afraid to ask. But the slant seemed to be: We all wear weaves to add length, because our hair is too much, we have bad hair months (not days like white women), and sometimes we cut it short like solange if we are tired of the whole weave thing (not that we just grow our hair out or that our hair is capable of being long on it's own...with the exception of oprah. With Oprah chris rock said now that's "RICH" as if the only reason her hair is longer is because she's rich and has more resources then poorer black people). Good luck with that!
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So that's what Oprah was talking about when she said that? I didn't see the show but I did catch the back stage banter. I think now people of other races will feel it is their business to ask me if my hair is real or weave. Yes it is rude and inappropriate to walk up to someone and ask if any part of there person is real or fake! Not like it hasn't been done before but I think it will happen more often and more people will feel the need to weave check and ask questions about my hair and just assume it's a weave. IMO, this film and the Oprah interview will create some uncomfortable moments for Black women.
 
She just didn't know. She likely did not know how rude or presumptuous she sounded either. She probably was happy with herself for being down and knowing the deal about black women's hair.
 
I wouldn't be too upset over the comment.

However I don't believe that people, with more that two brain cells to rub together, do not know that when you stretch a coil (metal spings even!) it becomes significantly longer:ohwell:. I can understand if someone like Nonie looks TWA then straightens to APL, but OP has hangin loosish coiled hair that is easy to imagine stretching straight. The woman looking confused even after explanation gives me jokes, nice but dim.
 
i hate when people do that ask if you have a weave in your hair my friend from work had told my a women saw her hair then she put her hand in her hair and asked is that your real hair :( my friend was angry and told her don't touch my hair i hate when people put their hand in your hair.
 
Is this the same donkey as before? Is her hair like bone straight or have only slight waves? I noticed that my white former co-workers are shocked when I stretch my hair out and show that it isnt really only 1 inch. They were equally as shocked when one of the curly haired white girls we work with straightened her hair and gained like 5/6 inches. Maybe she just couldnt wrap her lil head around the concept that every curl in your hair makes it look shorter than it actally is...
 
LadyPaniolo said:
She just didn't know. She likely did not know how rude or presumptuous she sounded either. She probably was happy with herself for being down and knowing the deal about black women's hair.
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OT: LadyP, I want that dude in your siggy. :lick:

Yes, he is VERY sexy. I wish more STRAIGHT white boys resembled him here in LA.

I'll fantasize about him working for the Sheriff's Department. :giggle:
 
Neith said:
BTW...

:needpics:


I want to see! Must be looking good if she just knew it had to be a weave. lol
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Well sorry, maybe next week... I just came from the beauty salon and paid money to have my hair rollerset! Its too curly on the ends for it to even look straight! Maybe next week I'll tell the lady to flat iron it with no curls then ya'll can see the length.
 
I wouldn't be insulted. This happens to me all the time at work. I straighten my hair maybe every 3-4 weeks and it never fails... "Maria are you wearing a weave?"

I smacked my co-worker a few weeks ago for asking me this. I said, stupid didn't you see me with long hair like 2 months ago and he was like no I don't remember. Mind you, he's been working there a year LOL

Oh and I knew about shrinkage because my daughters have natural hair BUT you have to admit you'd be a little suspicious too if you saw shoulder length hair on somebody one day and then the next day they're MBL LOL
 
Funny, BLACK people are the only ones who ever question whether my hair is a weave. Even when I did wear a weave or wig white people were shocked to learn it WASN'T mine.
 
I would take it as an insult, they don't think we have any hair, they are always looking at my roots when I talk to them, they also don't think our hair shines.

I think it's rude to even say that to anyone black white whatever. if the person was smart they would know that curly hair stretches to amazing lengths.

"they" are getting a tad bit too comfortable with asking us silly $$$ questions.
 
I wouldn't take it as an insult, so many people are confused or ignorant about hair, she probably couldn't put 2 and 2 together to realize that curly hair can be straightened and will not be the same length once it is stretched out. :lachen:
Most people don't have a clue, to them, black equals short hair. Over the years I have had to enlighten so many people, black male friends in particular, that black women aren't the only ones that wear weaves, and just because you have a weave, doesn't mean you have short hair either.
 
Misshairdiva said:
Well sorry, maybe next week... I just came from the beauty salon and paid money to have my hair rollerset! Its too curly on the ends for it to even look straight! Maybe next week I'll tell the lady to flat iron it with no curls then ya'll can see the length.
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That's alright. :) I had to ask. You know how we are about hair porn around here. :lol:
 
I don't think you should take it as an insult. It sounds like she may have watched the Oprah show w/ Chris Rock. I'd ask her why she thought it was weave, like another poster said, cause it could open the door for curly hair 101!
 
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