My Boyfriend Is Leaving--- Please Comment

[ChasingBliss]

This is the only thing I 've learned in my journey in the relationship world. Some of us only learn by the mistakes make...hopefully we learn them WELL. Taking your time letting go in stead of making a clean break and saving yourself from possible long term pain, may be the only way you will learn to really value yourself first. What is likely about to happen will be the best teacher...I wish you the best with your decision.

 

[WhoIAm]

Here's an update. Please don't judge me. But after thinking it over for myself; I realize I can't force him to be around. If it's meant to be, it will be. God knows what's best for me. What God has for me it is for me. We talked about the distance issue. Since I only have class Mondays and Wednesday and I'm not working, I will visit him often and he's going to come back home and see me when he visit his kids. We decided to be friends. I know a lot of you didn't agree with that. I feel like I'll be able to handle that. He's my best friend. We have so much in common. We both love sports, wrestling, etc. So we'll have plenty of platonic conversations. He said if I'm available he'll pick things up when we get back. He's leaving it up to me. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore guys that may come in my life. But I refuse to go around looking for a man to fill the empty void. Also we talked about the phone situation. He thinks I'm hindering him from being a man. I agree. I do too much for him. He wants to start doing things on his own. He feels like if we end things, he will have nothing. Which is true. I did a lot for him. So I can understand why he does not want to start another billing cycle.



I figure I can give these a try for a few months. What's the worst that can happen? I end up with another broken heart? Well that's life. Everything happens for a reason. So. *sigh* there's an update for ya!

You're making it too easy for him to make you his back up option. He has it made. I hope you don't think he's gonna be twiddling and not dating women in a new city?

Keep him as a friend (strictly platonic) if you need to (I wouldn't) and start getting yourself together. You need to start thinking about yourself. You definitely don't want him to start leading you on for his own selfish reasons.

 

[ambergirl]

This is the only thing I 've learned in my journey in the relationship world. Some of us only learn by the mistakes make...hopefully we learn them WELL. Taking your time letting go in stead of making a clean break and saving yourself from possible long term pain, may be the only way you will learn to really value yourself first. What is likely about to happen will be the best teacher...I wish you the best with your decision.

Exactly!

OP if there's one thing I've learned about men and relationships is that when a man says he wants to go, let. him. go. Because the truth of it is that in his heart he is gone already.

Maybe as angelface has said, you need to learn that through experience.

Best wishes to you.

 

[lilsparkle825]

It's hard watching someone NOT take your (or collectively, OUR) advice when you've already been through the situation they are currently dealing with. Le sigh.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

It's hard watching someone NOT take your (or collectively, OUR) advice when you've already been through the situation they are currently dealing with. Le sigh.

Yeah, but sometimes you have to learn these lessons on your own. Only she will know when she is ready to let go, and WE all know that can be tough.

OP,never make someone a priority, when that have made you an option. Please began to put some distance between you and your ex, for your sake.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier

 

[KoriKiyomi]

Thanks again for all the advice and support. It is greatly appreciated.

 

[CurlyMoo]

KoriKiyomi, I wish I had something significant to add. If only we could turn love off like a light switch. It's not easy, in fact it feels like death. When there is heartache, we have so many questions running around in our head. What did I do wrong? How did we get here? Doesn't he know how much I love him? Why can't we make it work? Why won't he just be with me? Why can't we just be?

Time will tell the true destiny of your relationship.

 

[TrueToHair]

.................................

 

[hopeful]

It's hard watching someone NOT take your (or collectively, OUR) advice when you've already been through the situation they are currently dealing with. Le sigh.

It is hard. I was always the type to "listen" most of the time. But some people are more hard-headed and have to see for themselves. I have a friend who listens to no one and then later wants to cry and moan and act like ain't nobody warned her. I used to fall for the okey doke but now I'm just like you did what you wanted to do and now you have to fix it. People can help a lot beforehand. After the fact it's more on you. But the OP is young and I am hopeful that this situation will eventually teach her the important lesson she needs to learn. It seems she needs to be taught, instead of told.