Advice Please :Boyfriend stares

[firecracker]

Wow, same thing for real?
Well my man was a jerk about the baby, he told me just before the baby was born he wished it was never there, and anything could happen to it, and he tried to avoid being there when the baby was born. I found out it's probably because the baby was born in the hospital I work at, and part of my job is to register babies. And that's right I was there when the baby came, but his ex never met me. And for some reason, I didn't care. He seemed to show me attention when it was my turn, except when he sees a girl that might possibly be attractive and he checks her out. He always tells me how he feels good or bad. So I decided to tell him what I feel part of the problem was. I take so much stuff from him, and then when I bring up this he cussed me out. I just don't want to seem insecure, I feel it's wrong for him to do it, but he doesn't see.

Did this book really help you? I might need it. I need help with men, cause when I talk about my man to people, he doesn't sound so good .

Why in God's name would you want to continue dating someone that would say that kind of mess about a innocent baby? His behavior is a clear indicator he's a sorry *** rat bastid! Get away from his sorry behind. I know your young and all but pay attention to early signs, behavior and messed up ideals from guys it could save you loads of trouble later. Again he's a sorry jackazz please leave his trif *** alone.

 

[carcajada]

yes thats right, i dont talk to my man in such robotic speech but i do stick to the verbs, nouns adjectives thing when i'm serious

personally it works for me and alot of others i know i should've said maybe

It's not that serious. I know what you meant.

 

[Ms.Nigeria]

Means he doesnt care that much for you. what he wants is not whats standing next to him

 

[Lucie]

The writings on the wall. If you were not in Toronto, I would have thought this was my friend's man. RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction of this man. RUN before you too end up with a child he is wishing would disappear. When you are far enough from this man as possible, take a minute to reflect on why you do not feel worthy to be with a person who treats you like the queen that you are? And do NOT get with anyone new in the meantime until you find out why you feel the way that you do and WHAT you are going to do about it? If you do not follow my advice, you will continue to attract doofuses like the one you described.

Trust me when I tell you, you are all that and then some and you only deserve the best. Good luck!

 

[southie20]

I would just move on!! IMO, he's not even worth it!

 

[Silver]

Thanks ladies,

I wanted to focus on the him looking at other women in my presence because that's the issue I brought up to him and it happened recently and all the time. But I guess there are other more important issues. He started telling me he loves me and he wants to share things with me etc, so I wanted to get that part straightened out, and I thought it backfired on me. But it might be a good thing huh. There are no good guys in my area, making me believe there are no good men. Whenever we argue he tells me he's a good man, like when he "advertised" himself to me when we first met saying he had no kids, when he brought up the baby that was coming he said it didn't count because something could happen to it. He says he doesn't like games and calls me out for playing them, but I swear he's playing with me or something. Thanks, I needed to get affirmation that he is no good, because I woke up sad this morning after dreaming about him calling me back (which he didn't).

 

[simplertimes]

In my experience I've learned, any man that stares at women in your presence will NOT be a good man to date. If I notice this on a first date, he will never hear from me again.

My dad NEVER EVER stared at women when either me, my mother or sister was around. It is not the norm to ogle women, it's the exception.

For just this reason, he should be kicked to the curb

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Thanks ladies,

I wanted to focus on the him looking at other women in my presence because that's the issue I brought up to him and it happened recently and all the time. But I guess there are other more important issues. He started telling me he loves me and he wants to share things with me etc, so I wanted to get that part straightened out, and I thought it backfired on me. But it might be a good thing huh. There are no good guys in my area, making me believe there are no good men. Whenever we argue he tells me he's a good man, like when he "advertised" himself to me when we first met saying he had no kids, when he brought up the baby that was coming he said it didn't count because something could happen to it. He says he doesn't like games and calls me out for playing them, but I swear he's playing with me or something. Thanks, I needed to get affirmation that he is no good, because I woke up sad this morning after dreaming about him calling me back (which he didn't).

This man is emotionally manipulating you and you need to stay as far away from him as possible. When he starts coming out of the mouth with nonsense to justify his behavior and to make you feel insecure, crazy, etc. it's time to go. Once you're out of the relationship things will be very clear and you'll see that he was doing nothing but abusing you to keep you in his web of lies and drama. From my experience when a man advocates that he is a good man, never lies and hates drama, that means that he is the biggest liar, is all about drama and has no respect for you. The sad thing is emotionally manipulative men come off with the nice/perfect guy facade in the beginning to reel you in and once they have your heart, they start showing their tails and convince you that you are the problem not them. So no, don't second guess yourself and you're not crazy or insecure. You're just with an emotionally abusive man who is trying to convince you that you are insecure so that it can justify his actions. He has 0 respect for you. If you stay with him, it'll only enable his future ridiculous behavior and he'll feel like he can get away with anything because he'll expect you to be right there.

 

[jasmin]

I think all men roam. Yes it's nice to find one that don't make it obvious and try to respect you. I won't say what I think about men but what gets me is the fact that he doesn't admit to looking and try to make you feel insecure. They rather make you feel bad about yourself than to cop to what they obviously are doing.

 

[sereia]

This man is emotionally manipulating you and you need to stay as far away from him as possible. When he starts coming out of the mouth with nonsense to justify his behavior and to make you feel insecure, crazy, etc. it's time to go. Once you're out of the relationship things will be very clear and you'll see that he was doing nothing but abusing you to keep you in his web of lies and drama. From my experience when a man advocates that he is a good man, never lies and hates drama, that means that he is the biggest liar, is all about drama and has no respect for you. The sad thing is emotionally manipulative men come off with the nice/perfect guy facade in the beginning to reel you in and once they have your heart, they start showing their tails and convince you that you are the problem not them. So no, don't second guess yourself and you're not crazy or insecure. You're just with an emotionally abusive man who is trying to convince you that you are insecure so that it can justify his actions. He has 0 respect for you. If you stay with him, it'll only enable his future ridiculous behavior and he'll feel like he can get away with anything because he'll expect you to be right there.

Great post! Especially the bolded is sooo true!
And ITA that a man who talks like that about his own (becoming) flesh and blood is not ready for a committed relationship.
I am sorry but please take a break from him with NO contact for at least 1-2 weeks to clear your head. You´ll be o.k. in time, sweetie!