My Boss Tells Me NO MORE BUNS! How Can I Look My Best & Keep Hair Healthy?

[BlackMasterPiece]

Oh and just to give you some hope, I'm a 4a/b natural tightly coily with a tendency to be dry and I have worn my hair straightened for years on end in certain periods and still successfully retained length and maintained the health of my strands. So as a 3b/c sista and the fact that you can just rollerset and wrap I think you can definitely do this and still reach all your goals

I'm a hair fanatic, but no way is it anywhere near as important as achieving success in your career. Aint nothing more empowering then a promotion and raise lol.

 

[TeeWhyAre]

Are there ANY pics of your hair????

i NEED to see the pic of this bun that is being called unprofessional. I go to work every day with my bun and have never been told I was unprofessional. I can't imagine it. Imma need some pitchas. Maybe they are on the pages I haven't read yet.

 

[SistaSista]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I think that buns are appropriate for the workplace if done neatly and creatively. I myself was in a rut for a while trying to protect my hair with my daily bun. But this bun does nothing for my appearance. My mother HATES it. She calls is my "go to hell ponytail".

So I started wearing halfwigs and wearing makeup everyday. You wouldn't believe the amount of compliments I've been receiving. I'm having so much fun picking out the different wigs to wear to work. I try to switch it up every week to avoid getting in another rut. I believe it's very important for you to look your best especially if you are meeting clients on a regular basis.

I hope you can find something that works for you.

i thought so too. guess we're wrong.



Lol! Good idea Crackers Phinn! I'm going to have to find a way to wear it down a lot more often. And apparently they don't like my hair in any form of updo minus a curly ponytail.



i think i'm going to have to learn how to roller set. i think that's probably going to be my best option. good thing i just bought macherieamour's rollersetting dvd. i know nothing about half-wigs...

a big part of my job is to entertain clients - i guess that means being eye candy for them, so maybe that's where the full court press comes from? also, as i mentioned before, most of the girls in my industry are the LV/Chloe bag carrying, trendy, full hair & makeup everyday type of girls (and none of them are black.) even though part of what i do requires entertaining clients an even bigger part of my job is meeting with my clients daily, running reports and surpassing my quartely goals - that's why i've never felt bad about wearing buns. does it feel awkward when all the other girls are so done up? a little, but i just didn't know it was causing...a problem. or that my parents thought i looked bad.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Wear your hair down and get your promotion. It is not that serious. This is not a time to fight.

 

[Jewell]

WTF? Unless your career centers around appearance, i.e. dancer, model, performer, entertainer, etc. What the hell is wrong with a bun? In my opinion, a bun is the epitome of a professional hair do. I was actually TOLD TO WEAR MY HAIR IN A BUN for an interview with an ultra conservative phone co-op company years back. I did, with the black skirt suit, button earrings, pumps, and got the job. Same for a job as a teller with a national bank. But, while working, though I had "face time" with customers daily, I was never reprimanded about my hair!! IDK about the super and the parents, but I would be mad as hell about it.

I would not pass up the promo for my hair style, but I WOULD TAKE INTO ACCOUNT WHETHER I WANT TO STAY WITH THIS COMPANY. Basically, I'd take the promo, work it out for a while, then secretly plot my transition to another company. After not so long, they'd have my 2 wk notice. It ain't that serious for her to possibly deny you a promo over a goddang bun!!!! {FUMES} And, the parents need to understand that you care more about health of your hair than what style THEY like on you.

You can rock your hair down and out and still keep it healthy, just look at the oodles of ladies on here who don't always PS, and keep the hair NICE. Example: Sylver2

Also, I think there is some underlying issue the boss may have with you. That hair style may be the only reason she could legitimately come up with as to how to possibly pass you up for a promo. You said you're the only Afram lady there. So, I hope the issue isn't, "Well, let me tell this little black girl bout her hair, cuz she obviously has no clue." (<--possible underlying sentiment from the supervisor). I definitely wouldn't put it past her. It seems very trivial to consult you over your bun.

 

[jada1111]

Put my head on the chopping block, wear the hair down and conform to get the promo but I think there is more to this story than meets the eye and you will come to find out eventually. I don't think your boss is trying to help you be fashion forward. I think she is being condescending. You are fortunate that you have a hair texture that can do a wash and set easily.

Best,
Almond Eyes

I agree about the "fashion forward" being nonsense. There's more to this story.

 

[TeeWhyAre]

Looks like OP made her decision and I couldn't agree more. Play the game, girl. We all have to, not only as women but as black women.

I suggest pin curls, soft curls, half wigs and phony ponies. And if you are ever tempted to wear the bun again, dress it up with accesories or be really creative, maybe even using fake buns to create styles like this:

i really like that one.it looks very polished.

 

[jada1111]

Should she quit over a hairstyle?

Yes, yes she should.

I know I'm in the minority and it's a recession and all, but I have deep reservations about this woman's "advice". What next? Your skins too dark how about this bleaching cream? Could you wear more form fitting clothes? How about a blouse that shows more cleavage when you're meeting with our male clients?

Oh, in addition to the daily straight hair can you lighten it up a few shades and add some blonde streaks?

The supervisor only brought this hair issue up "after" she saw her at a weekend company outing. She knows she can't legally demand she wear her hair in a style, but she can passive/aggressive threaten her with being denied a "promotion " over it. Witch!

Funny thing is, what if the op does all of this and this "promotion" never materializes?

What if she does the half/full wig/phoney pony thing and the supervisor STILL has a freakin problem? Then what?

Sometimes you need to take a stand on some things.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

while most of the time buns are the epitome of professional looks, they can look sloppy. when i started my job, i was trying to protective style. i have a professional career in healthcare, but i didnt really feel like i needed to look good for anyone. so i would wet bun my hair slicked back. i'd wash my hair, slick it back in a ponytail and wear it in a bun. i didnt wear make up (what for?? lol) no one said anything to me about it. but i knew i looked bad. lol. when i looked in the mirror i knew. so, i know for a fact, not all buns look good for those that don't understand.

my bangs were cut short the previous summer and im transitioning. so when i'd leave the house, my hair would be slicked down and sleek, but by the end of the day, my roots had puffed up, and i'd have this puffy hump. well, after getting my hair blown out for a random length check, everyone went crazy over my hair. i got soo many compliments. i noticed how i got soo many more friendly smiles, hi's, how you doing, how's your day. it was crazy. after talking to my friends about it, they agreed, i dont look good with my hair pulled all the way back. i look better with bangs or a swoop. i took that advice to heart, b/c i knew it was the truth. long story short, sometimes we do just have to face the facts that not all hair styles look nice on everyone, and you do have to be honest with yourself.

 

[jada1111]

while most of the time buns are the epitome of professional looks, they can look sloppy. when i started my job, i was trying to protective style. i have a professional career in healthcare, but i didnt really feel like i needed to look good for anyone. so i would wet bun my hair slicked back. i'd wash my hair, slick it back in a ponytail and wear it in a bun. i didnt wear make up (what for?? lol) no one said anything to me about it. but i knew i looked bad. lol. when i looked in the mirror i knew. so, i know for a fact, not all buns look good for those that don't understand.

well, after getting my hair blown out for a random length check, everyone went crazy over my hair. i got soo many compliments. i noticed how i got soo many more friendly smiles, hi's, how you doing, how's your day. it was crazy. after talking to my friends about it, they agreed, i dont look good with my hair pulled all the way back. i look better with bangs or a swoop. i took that advice to heart, b/c i knew it was the truth. long story short, sometimes we do just have to face the facts that not all hair styles look nice on everyone, and you do have to be honest with yourself.

Not to negate your experience but straight hair will ALWAYS be loved by people, because it's what we have been CONDITIONED to believe for YEARS. If I wore my hair straight, I'm quite sure folks would be all 'googoo gaga" over it, because it's rare that I do it and it's the PREFERRED look. I know for a fact I would get "you should wear your hair like that more often", which is why I will NEVER wear it like that on job. If I ever do decide to straighten (which probably won't ever happen anyway, because I don't dig the look anymore for MYSELF) it will be on the weekends where I can change up by Monday.

 

[hola_lo2002]

Your job should be based on your skills and not your appearance. But sonce we live in a superficial world,i guess you'll have to find a way to keep your hair healthy while changing your hairdo. I heard of keratin treatment on the forum. I don't know if it's a chemical, but I think it protects hair from heat. So if you're planning on rollersetting with heat, it might be a good option. Good luck

 

[Glamorous_chic]

i do understand that people will always prefer straight hairstyles. and while that is true, i've accepted that i dont always look as attractive to certain people with my hair straight back. when i wear bangs or a swoop, it doesn't seem to be as bad. maybe b/c i have a huge forehead. lol. and also that sometiems buns aren't always sleek put together hair styles. sometimes they can look like crap. b/c i finally had to realize mine looked like crap , specifically when i did wet buns. they looked fine if i blowdried my hair first though. but wet bunning was a nono.

 

[JayAnn0513]

i NEED to see the pic of this bun that is being called unprofessional. I go to work every day with my bun and have never been told I was unprofessional. I can't imagine it. Imma need some pitchas. Maybe they are on the pages I haven't read yet.

Honestly most people don't care enough about your professional advancement to tell you your hairstyle, dress, makeup are holding you back. I have white coworker who wear a messy nasty ratty fake pony on the top of her head every day. She good at her job, but I've seen the way people look at her hair when she's not looking. She's not getting a promotion with that hair don't on top of her head. When i first met her I would stare at the back of her head trying to figure out WTF she was thinking when she left the house in the morning. I wish I could get a pic and post it. It's that bad. No cares enough to tell her she looks like a darn fool.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

A bun is the epitome of a professional hairstyle. What in the world is she talking about - a bun NOT professional?!?!

Without knowing what field you are in and without seeing your bun, I cannot comment on going to HR. I do agree that your hairstyle should have no bearing on your promotion but that is just not the case in American society. Hair does play a role in employment decisions as some styles are just viewed as "unprofessional" or "back office" looks.erplexed

I am not sure if you and your boss are "friends" but if so, then maybe your bun does need some work given that your parents also made comments about your bun.

It took me years of relaxing & weaving to "fit in" at my old law firm. A job change is the only reason that I finally felt comfortable enough to wear my natural hair. I have worn cornrows (in a bun in fact) to work at my current company with no problem. I happened to attend a company sponsored event for African Americans and out of the 400 company employees at that event, I was the only one in cornrows. It was no problem at all.

My boss recently did my year end review and she raised the issue of a promotion as well as potential international work. If my boss or anyone in the office for that matter made a similar statement to me, I'd be on the phone with the EEOC that day right after documenting my complaint with HR in writing with a few copies saved on a thumb drive to keep at home. Then again, my boss is a Black woman and everyone in the office is intrigued by my many changing hairstyles. Not to mention, they probably think that I'd sue the company - which I would

Depending on if your bun skills honestly need work, I would go with option 2 below and work on my bunning skills. Youtube has some great bun tutorials.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I can tell you that I experience a similar issue young in my career.

How you handle this is going to be based on your experience in the workplace. Here are some options you might consider . . .

Option 1 - Thank her for her feedback, then tactfully remind your boss that her statements are illegal and discriminatory. Let her know that your hard work, diligence, and commitment to your job are what qualifies you for a promotion - not your hair. Then explain to her that if she considers you a strong enough employee to promote, she should know that your excellent record will only benefit her in the long run. After all, why would she want to promote someone of less talent, just because she liked their hair?

Option 2 - Thank her fer her feedback. Change your hair, get the promotion, and then go back to wearing you hair the way you always do (or not).

Option 3 - Make an appointment with HR and do number 1 in the HR offices.

If your hair does not prohibit you from doing your job in a safe, sanitary, and productive way then she has no right to make those statements. She sounds incredibly immature with little work experience behind her. She probably thinks she is helping you. If I am wrong in that statement and she is an experienced women making those comments, then option 3 would be my choice.

Whatever you decide to do, you must do the right thing for YOU - not her and not a job. Jobs come and go, but our esteem stays with us. You have to step back from the situation, assess, and decide based on you.

so i got ripped a NEW one after a work meeting today. my boss tells me she wants to put me up for a promotion but tells that my hair is "unprofessional" and that it "doesn't make me look my best with my hair slicked back" and that she needs me looking a certain way and "feeling confident" before she "moves forward with the (promotion) process." she went onto tell me how beautiful my hair looked when i wore it down at a company MLB event and "why don't i wear it like that all the time??" we have a corporate dinner tomorrow night and they (parents + boss) are mad that i'm not going to "press my hair" instead choosing to wear a bun.

so, i run home to mommy and daddy and what happened? my parents co-signed: "that crunchy bun doesn't flatter your face..." "your roots stick up" "...you used to wear your hair down more often do that." blah, blah, blah...

another co-worker: "....well, it looks okay to me, but..."

right now i'm SO FRUSTRATED i could cry. am i making too much of all of this? am i not seeing something? i know i look better with my hair down and straightened but i'm not sure how to keep my hair healthy, keep my body healthy and keep myself and my hair looking its best at the same time! right now i'm just mad.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Yes, yes she should.

I know I'm in the minority and it's a recession and all, but I have deep reservations about this woman's "advice". What next? Your skins too dark how about this bleaching cream? Could you wear more form fitting clothes? How about a blouse that shows more cleavage when you're meeting with our male clients?

Oh, in addition to the daily straight hair can you lighten it up a few shades and add some blonde streaks?

The supervisor only brought this hair issue up "after" she saw her at a weekend company outing. She knows she can't legally demand she wear her hair in a style, but she can passive/aggressive threaten her with being denied a "promotion " over it. Witch!

Funny thing is, what if the op does all of this and this "promotion" never materializes?

What if she does the half/full wig/phoney pony thing and the supervisor STILL has a freakin problem? Then what?

Sometimes you need to take a stand on some things.

Its important to recognize that there is a time and place for everything and one must pick their battles. Otherwise all you'll have to show for yourself at the end of the day is your pride and a negative balance on your bank account.

Its also important to see events within the context of degrees you can't just have reflex attitudes and assumptions in reaction to every request that is made of you from your superiors and automatically jump to rascism. , she made no mention of the woman being regularly mean-spirited toward her. Other races simply don't have the awareness of what it takes for us to get our hair straight so she probably assumes she's making a minor request that will allow her to ascend in the company more seamlessly.

You also have to keep in mind what your bargaining position is, when you're working your way up, you have to make reasonable compromises and do your best to fit into the culture of your firm, by the time you get a pretigious position, your repertoire will speak for itself and you'll be in a better position to stray from the norm.

Its not that serious to just wear your hair down more now....she can still reach her goals with rollersetting and satisfy the cultural expectations of her firm a the same time.

 

[Vashti]

It depends on what's important to you and what the particular situation is. I've been on crappy jobs where people paid me chump change with no benefits and had the nerve to have a problem with me when I wore my hair natural. I have the tendency to tell people to go to "You Know Where" but that's just me. I'm not a corporate, company girl type.

Depending on the type of job it is, how you feel about the people you work with and the benefits you receive it might be best to make a compromise (a good quality wig or hair piece maybe?) and get that cash. If the promotion never materializes though, it's time to look for another job. Don't just jump to conclusions about what your boss is thinking but don't let them jerk you around on a chain either. I hope your situation gets resolved in a way that is advantageous to you wyldcurlz!

 

[imaccami]

excuse the tangent above, anyway, my main problem is figuring out what to do wtih my hair right now. worse yet, there's little to nothing i can do for this big event tomorrow (make that, tonight!) i'm really wondering though, how to style natural hair that gets workout sweaty 3-4 days/week. even if i rearranged my workouts.

a big part of my job is to entertain clients - i guess that means being eye candy for them, so maybe that's where the full court press comes from? also, as i mentioned before, most of the girls in my industry are the LV/Chloe bag carrying, trendy, full hair & makeup everyday type of girls

Are these events at night? Hmmm, I would really like to see a picture of your bun, I'm not sure a "conditioner bun" will cut it at night when everyone else is in full hair and make-up.

And I understand, i'm not a fan of the bun either. its just easier for me to slick it back with some condish and pull it into a bun.

I don't want to sound mean, but it would be easier for everyone. Every one of your co-workers would like to do the easy thing and look ok but not great for these big events but they don't. You don't get to be the exception. If everyone else has to take the time and make the effort so do you.

Your hair is BSL? can you put in a ponytail on top of your head so that it won't touch your shoulders?

 

[kami02]

I think you should treat this promotion opportunity as a job interview - a 24/7 interview. How did you look on that interview to get the job in the first place? Now that you want a "new" job with the company, you need to treat it the same way and give it your all.

Use your judgment on how to wear your hair. I personally don't like wearing buns because it tends to look like I put no effort into my appearance. One of my best friends, however, looks like a runway model when she wears a bun. So take an honest assessment of your current style. Maybe you don't need to straighten it, but take a more stylish approach to your bun. And even if you do need to wear it out, you don't necessarily need to straighten it and even if you do, you can decide when its most important to look your "best." (Not to say straight hair is best, but you know...)

 

[angellike]

um maybe wear a braid

 

[jada1111]

Its important to recognize that there is a time and place for everything and one must pick their battles. Otherwise all you'll have to show for yourself at the end of the day is your pride and a negative balance on your bank account.

Its also important to see events within the context of degrees you can't just have reflex attitudes and assumptions in reaction to every request that is made of you from your superiors and automatically jump to rascism. , she made no mention of the woman being regularly mean-spirited toward her. Other races simply don't have the awareness of what it takes for us to get our hair straight so she probably assumes she's making a minor request that will allow her to ascend in the company more seamlessly.

You also have to keep in mind what your bargaining position is, when you're working your way up, you have to make reasonable compromises and do your best to fit into the culture of your firm, by the time you get a pretigious position, your repertoire will speak for itself and you'll be in a better position to stray from the norm.

Its not that serious to just wear your hair down more now....she can still reach her goals with rollersetting and satisfy the cultural expectations of her firm a the same time.

I get what you're saying BMP, really I do, but...

I don't know how "messy" and "unkempt" the OP's bun is (I'm still trying to figure out how the simplest and most conservative style in the universe can be called "unprofessional" or "messy", but I'll save that for another thread).

I'm just thinking about being in the OP's shoes. Say, I straighten my hair on the day in question for a company outing not thinking anything of it, but just seeking a change. Up until that time, no word has been said or mentioned regarding my hair. Nothing. All of a sudden I get back to work to hear I'm up for a "promotion", but I need to keep my hair like how I wore it over the weekend for some bullcrap reason to keep the "clients" happy. Yeah, right.

It's like I'm being blackmailed into damaging my hair on a daily, weekly basis to get some "future" promotion that may or may not exist. Again, what if the OP wears nice, professionally styled weaves, wigs, etc. (which wouldn't be a problem in matching her 3ish hair texture) and there's STILL a freakin' issue? It starts off with things like this, then it escalates. I feel she needs to document this conversation and speak to someone at the EEOC. I don't trust company HRs, because they're usually on the side of the MANAGER not the employee. I've heard not to pleasant stories of "set ups".

It's not just "hair" to me. I've spent seven years growing out my natural hair and there's no way I would straighten it to appease someone who hired me with it in its natural state.

Anyway, the OP's decided to change so there's nothing left to be said and I seriously hope she gets this promised "promotion" at the expense of potentially damaging her hair.

I see things differently, but I respect yours and everyone else's opinion that she should conform. I understand the reasons why, but there are still principals involved here. Most black women have afro-textured hair that is different from all the other races. We need to learn to work with what we have naturally. There are beautiful professional natural hairstyles in fotkis and on youtube.

I wear my hair out 99% of the time, because that's how I like it and I make sure that it always looks neat, moisturized and healthy. If it takes two or three products to get it that way, then two or three products it is. My hair will NEVER look busted when I leave the house. I don't just "wash n go". I wash, distribute styling product on sectioned wet hair, style the way I want, diffuse for a few minutes, fluff some more for fullness THEN go. 45 minute routine every THREE DAYS.

 

[Dak]

OP, roller setting could give you a style for a week to a week and a half. PM me if you'd like some help learning how to do it.

 

[werenumber2]

OP - You mentioned that you wore your hair "down" for an event. Is your boss expecting you to wear your hair out of the bun and STRAIGHTENED or just out of the bun? Those are two very different things.

 

[aquajoyice]

This sounds like a potential lawsuit if you ask me. I wish someone would tell me not to wear my bun.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Wear your hair down until you get the promotion and stay on top of moisturizing your ends. In the mean time, find some youtube updo tutorials so that you can start doing some protective styles that vary from your slicked back style.

You can be indignant after you can start spending that promotion money.

Side note: It's awful that you're put in this position.


I think you can also think about ways to wear your hair up (half the time.) Maybe three days out of the week it's up. Like Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, or pick a day but yo get the point. Then for four days out of the week it's down. The last day it's down you exercise, and also your other up days (sorry it's in a row, but hey you want the promotion, then worry about the rest later, especially if you area willing to adjust your hair which you seem.
Make bun day instantly stylish with head bands, and youtube practice. Even witg h curly hair (I'm natural too and need options, these headbands can add style to your look and make you hip, but sophisticated. They can also help when your hair is going everywhere and you want it to look sleeker for work, by just smoothing out the silhouette. So even if it's curly, it'll look work appropriate in the manner she's thinking of. Do it right, and you might can manage two-three bun days a week and then on weekends.

Fake it, if you don't know how to make cute buns w/ accessories: headbands

silk like material of course^^^ not cotton

also one thing I've done in the past, a quick cornrow of sides (divide bang from deep part, and divide all he way over past ear, start braiding) and then back into a bun or high ponytail. The braids make the hairstyle more streamlined. It's fast to do and you just whip the rest into a bun or high pony. Great when my hair is straightened or curly. It's easy to do:

and curly pony with headband. You can do higher go it doesn't brush your clothes(ends)

With styles like these, your boss will be happy and so will you, plus it's not hard to do.At the very least adding a cute headband here and there will help, and make your bun look mores stylish. Depending on how "hip" your office will determine the look, but these are more pics to show how buns can change their look w/ different accessories. Your work environment will of course determine the ones you choose. But I'm willing to bet that your boss' problem is with lack of style over bun.Maybe dressed up you could get away with them more and stay on track to your goals.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

^^^^Suggestions above are only if you aren't heading straight to hr for a fight. I realize that we all must pick our battles, and you might think this is one you need to fight. IF not, I hope the suggestions above help.

 

[dicapr]

A bun can be unprofessional. I wore a bun yesterday that was sooo bad! I did look half done and if I worked in a professional office I could see it being a problem. I also cannot wet bun and have my hair look good. I need to do a light blowdry or else my bun is lumpy which = unkept. OP may just need to practice her bunning skills or switch to a more flattering protective style.

 

[Vintageglam]

Yes, yes she should.

Jada1111 do you really think this is a good idea? I mean it's not like we are not disadvantaged enough as black women ?

I hope you are willing to pay OP's bills when the shyte hits the fan. I think this sort of advice is a bit irresponsible.

See the thing I don't get is this. There are a few here in this post saying "Oh I would go to HR" "Raise a Law Suit" etc etc.

If you work in a partiulcar field you live and die on your reputation. Get yourself labelled as a problem and you can kiss your career goodbye. Bosses of corps talk. I have seen it with my own eyes. They will ring each other up for a "quick chat" to circumvent employment laws on bad references. And if they really hate your arse and wants to *** you they will schedule lunch and wine and dine your future employer and lay all your ish out to bare. In this day of company risk management and avoiding law suits black people already suffer a disadvantage so really do you think kicking up a stink is the best way to resolve this.

Ultimately if OP is not happy in this environment it is for her to make those decisions. But over your hair???? This is not the way to loose a bright a promising career for which you can one day shape the future and change the things you didn't like for the future generations.

Our mothers and the black women before us suffered so that we could even step into the workplace. Is this how we will pay them?

Its important to recognize that there is a time and place for everything and one must pick their battles. Otherwise all you'll have to show for yourself at the end of the day is your pride and a negative balance on your bank account.

Its also important to see events within the context of degrees you can't just have reflex attitudes and assumptions in reaction to every request that is made of you from your superiors and automatically jump to rascism. , she made no mention of the woman being regularly mean-spirited toward her. Other races simply don't have the awareness of what it takes for us to get our hair straight so she probably assumes she's making a minor request that will allow her to ascend in the company more seamlessly.

You also have to keep in mind what your bargaining position is, when you're working your way up, you have to make reasonable compromises and do your best to fit into the culture of your firm, by the time you get a pretigious position, your repertoire will speak for itself and you'll be in a better position to stray from the norm.

Its not that serious to just wear your hair down more now....she can still reach her goals with rollersetting and satisfy the cultural expectations of her firm a the same time.

Thankyou

 

[DeepBluSea]

Wow. It is very disheartening when I read threads like this. It just goes to show it's not "just hair."

 

[OhmyKimB]

Wear your hair down until you get the promotion and stay on top of moisturizing your ends. In the mean time, find some youtube updo tutorials so that you can start doing some protective styles that vary from your slicked back style.

You can be indignant after you can start spending that promotion money.

I'm sorry. I agree with this though. Normally I really want to just tell you that you should go ahead and do your thing. But wear it down probably won't be so bad, just keep it really moisturized and switch back and forth between buns and other styles.

 

[OhmyKimB]

Jada1111 do you really think this is a good idea? I mean it's not like we are not disadvantaged enough as black women ?

I hope you are willing to pay OP's bills when the shyte hits the fan. I think this sort of advice is a bit irresponsible.

See the thing I don't get is this. There are a few here in this post saying "Oh I would go to HR" "Raise a Law Suit" etc etc.

If you work in a partiulcar field you live and die on your reputation. Get yourself labelled as a problem and you can kiss your career goodbye. Bosses of corps talk. I have seen it with my own eyes. They will ring each other up for a "quick chat" to circumvent employment laws on bad references. And if they really hate your arse and wants to *** you they will schedule lunch and wine and dine your future employer and lay all your ish out to bare. In this day of company risk management and avoiding law suits black people already suffer a disadvantage so really do you think kicking up a stink is the best way to resolve this.

Ultimately if OP is not happy in this environment it is for her to make those decisions. But over your hair???? This is not the way to loose a bright a promising career for which you can one day shape the future and change the things you didn't like for the future generations.

Our mothers and the black women before us suffered so that we could even step into the workplace. Is this how we will pay them?



Thankyou

I agree. I WAS transitioning, and I was all in to it as well. However my old boss and my mom made it clear that until I have CPA behind my name I need to look however I need to look. Once I have some type of credentials that prove something else. But I work right now in a small office I'm the youngest black female here and the other two have thin over processed hair. I'm going to try to find a balance to my hair health. I was wearing buns but as soon as I took them out it's like the air changed.



ETA: My old boss is AA and has long beautiful hair down her back. Her hair is not over processed and although I don't agree with her practices there is nothing I can say. She does look after me like a niece so listening to her and my mother helped me just decide that right now I should be happy that my internship even hired me, and that I do need to watch my apperance. I did wear buns a lot and right now I'm trying to just keep it styled. It does change things, whether I believe it should or not is not the point. My apperance makes a difference in the way people respond to me. I can't change anything as a little accounting assistant trying to finish degrees, but as a CPA running things I can. My hair has been growing for 23 years so at any time I can stop stick white creamy crack in it. Right now I don't need anything that stops me from my career.