Mother's what would you do?

[eyunka]

So my niece posted this on fb and ask if I could share with you guys. Backstory

The school calls my niece about her 5yr ds fighting in school.

Niece: Is he ok?
Teacher: yes he is fine
Niece: Is the other little boy ok?
Teacher: yes he is fine too.

She gets to the school and finds the little boy has scratches all over his face, ds is fine no marks.

Niece: ds what happened
ds: He told me to get out of the boys bathroom and go into the girls bathroom. I told him I'm a boy and he said you a girl and i hit him.

My niece was at a lost for words and wasn't sure what to do. Awhile ago ds wanted his hair cut but got scared and backed out. He still a little scared to cut it now.

What would you do? Would you continue to allow the possibility of him getting taunted again or cut his hair? I suggested if she didn't cut it maybe she should corn row it, I think that is more of a boyish hairstyle than the 3 ponytails she usually puts in it.

ETA: She said she did have a talk with him about keeping his hands to himself.

This is the hairstyle he had on the day of the fight

This is how she did it for today

Here a couple more random pix

 

[Roux]

I can't blame the other little boy for thinking he was a girl. He had a little girl hairstyle and kids at that age all look like girls anyways so having long hair will make you think child is a girl.

Her son needs to know he can't just go putting his hands on people and use his words. If she doesn't want to cut it, and her son doesn't want a haircut then it shouldn't be cut. But she needs to style his hair in a gender affirmative hairstyle.

 

[NJoy]

I agree with your comments. Where's his dad? My husband would never go for that. Cut or cornrow it (and she better not add beads). Feeling bad for her son having to defend his gender.

ETA: He is a handsome little thing. Mwah, big boy!

 

[tiffers]

Yeah, I'm not a fan of ponytails on little boys. erplexed

If she cornrowed it, I highly doubt the boy would be taunted.

 

[eyunka]

She actually took the little boy in when he was a baby. The real mother couldn't take care of him. My niece is single. I don't know where his father is.

I agree with your comments. Where's his dad? My husband would never go for that. Cut or cornrow it (and she better not add beads). Feeling bad for her son having to defend his gender.

 

[silenttullip]

I wouldn't cut BUT I'd NEVER EVER EVER put it in the style he got into a fight in. I'm sorry but he does look like a girl in that one. I would start cornrowing his hair and learn some designs or slick it back in a pony tail but use a black ouchless band. Never the two braid style or the second style. On picture day I'd do the last style. Hope that helps. I had SO take a look & he agrees. We want to let our sons hair grow long like that if we have one but the styles will usually be cornrows or slicked back pony
Maybe check some of Lloyd's styles in his earlier days before he cut his hair

 

[PJaye]

IMO, this little boy’s hair is gender inappropriate, particularly the 2nd, 3rd and last pics.

What I’m wondering is what is the mother’s objective...her purpose, her point, her agenda...for inflicting these hair styles on her son and the public at large?

 

[eyunka]

good questions, I'm not sure. She does not know how to do hair very well and I think it maybe out o laziness but again I'm just speculating.

IMO, this little boy’s hair is gender inappropriate, particularly the 2nd, 3rd and last pics.

What I’m wondering is what is the mother’s objective...her purpose, her point, her agenda...for inflicting these hair styles on her son and the public at large?

 

[Solitude]

The boy has beautiful hair, but I wouldn't do my son like that . She should cut it or cornrow it in a masculine style. My son was elated to get his first hair cut years ago - he hated getting it styled and around age 2 he started noticing hair style differences between boys and girls. I like his natural curls, but he reminds me about his cuts. At school if it gets too long, he gets teased and he is 8.

ETA: If she chooses not to cut it, or if he doesn't want it to be cut, she's going to have to explain to him how to handle these types of situations, which will continue to occur.

 

[BrownEyez22]

Cornrow it or cut it. Those styles are mostly girlie IMO.

 

[NJoy]

She actually took the little boy in when he was a baby. The real mother couldn't take care of him. My niece is single. I don't know where his father is.

That's wonderful. And I'm so glad she's seeking suggestions. That's a responsible mom. She may need a male friend that she trusts to give his two cents in raising a boy from time to time. We moms can raise our children but I think male guidance would come in handy. (notice I didn't say she needs to run out and get a man; just someone like an uncle or friend who can give a male perspective)

 

[eyunka]

I would love to get my hands in his hair and braid it but we are states apart.

 

[silenttullip]

where is she located?

 

[eyunka]

New Orleans

where is she located?

 

[silenttullip]

I would search for a braider... Since he's a kid I'm sure it would be reasonable... Maybe about 40 bucks...I'd suggest she do a search for reviews and not leave him there alone. Or if she can't cornrow she can part his hair in rows as if for cornrows and then make about 10 individual braids per row. After she's done she can connect the braids going back and it will look like cornrows. I hope that made sense I'll try to find a pic for a visual.

New Orleans

 

[NIN4eva]

Can I just say how much I admire your niece for taking him in as her own! I hope to be able to do that some day...

 

[eyunka]

I can picture that, I will try to explain it to her. I have to go back and ask but for some reason i think she said his hair would not stay braided. I will make sure.

I would search for a braider... Since he's a kid I'm sure it would be reasonable... Maybe about 40 bucks...I'd suggest she do a search for reviews and not leave him there alone. Or if she can't cornrow she can part his hair in rows as if for cornrows and then make about 10 individual braids per row. After she's done she can connect the braids going back and it will look like cornrows. I hope that made sense I'll try to find a pic for a visual.

 

[ms-gg]

box Braids (plaits) would be cute too. She needs to tell him to keep his hands to himself and if she wants to keep his hair long. It is her child and she can raise him anyway that she wants. Kids will pick on anything if it makes them look different so she needs to teach him how to handle bullies and people who will try to make fun of him. We can't go around trying to conform and change every little thing about us just because it doesn't fit the norms of society. We just have to learn and be taught how to handle it in a civilized manner.

He is too cute <3

 

[silenttullip]

Kind of like
But not diamonds and parts not so deep so it looks like a regular cornrow somewhat

I can picture that, I will try to explain it to her. I have to go back and ask but for some reason i think she said his hair would not stay braided. I will make sure.

 

[Mai Tai]

He's a cute kid. I commend your niece for taking him in...he does look like a little girl in these pictures. I think she needs to not only teach him that it's not ok to hit people because of the words they used towards him, and she need to stop doing those girly hairstyles.

 

[eyunka]

This afternoon I may get on youtube and find some how to videos that may help her.

Kind of like View attachment 122409
But not diamonds and parts not so deep so it looks like a regular cornrow somewhat

 

[silenttullip]

That would be a great idea

This afternoon I may get on youtube and find some how to videos that may help her.

 

[Hazel]

It sounds like someone needs a little tough love here. Please cut that child's hair! There is no reason for a little boy to walk around looking like like a girl and be forced to defend his 'boyhood' to point where he is involved in physical altercations.. Wearing three ponytails to school as a five year old boy is not only unacceptable, its confusing--Other children just might think he is girl. More importantly, the child is five years old, he shoud not have a say so in whether is hair is cut.

Furthermore, did I see an earing in his ear? What is really going on here? Why does your five year old son have long hair and earring(s)? Did he ask for those? When/If you cut his hair, you should remove his earing(s) too...

 

[Klearli]

I wouldn't cut his hair because of some other 5 year olds opinion. That would give the wrong life message. He shouldn't have to conform. I just wouldt let him wear it in pony tails.

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[eyunka]

Hazel
I typed, deleted and typed again....all i will say is reread the OP again

It sounds like someone needs a little tough love here. Please cut that child's hair! There is no reason for a little boy to walk around looking like like a girl and be forced to defend his 'boyhood' to point where he is involved in physical altercations.. Wearing three ponytails to school as a five year old boy is not only unacceptable, its confusing--Other children just might think he is girl. More importantly, the child is five years old, he shoud not have a say so in whether is hair is cut.

Furthermore, did I see an earing in his ear? What is really going on here? Why does your five year old son have long hair and earring(s)? Did he ask for those? When/If you cut his hair, you should remove his earing(s) too...

 

[bibs]

There was a little boy in my class last year with long hair and little braids like that. He was very quiet the first few weeks of school and when kids picked on him others would say "leave her alone." Parents and teachers would constantly ask if he was a girl or boy. He was too cute but honestly too old for those styles just like your nieces son. I agree that if she doesn't want to cut his hair to at least cornrow it. It'd probably cost her $25 every week or every 2 weeks if she goes to a salon.

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[beans4reezy]

OP, I understand that this is a very, VERY serious situation....but honestly, when I saw the first couple of pics...I kind of let out a little laugh....he really does look like a little girl. I can see where this may be confusing for his classmates.

I am echoing the sentiments of many..but please, if she wont cut it- at least find a masculine hair style.

 

[qchelle]

Does this 5 yr old little boy have an EARRING in his ear?! Am I looking at the pic correctly? Or is it just the glare?

Is that what's hot in the skreets now? Getting little BOYS' ears pierced?! Goodness. I guess I'm behind the times.

Anyway, as for the hair. Dang, mama could at least put in some straight-backs (cornrows) or some gangstas (part down middle, cornrows to either side).

I'm glad both boys are ok.

 

[eyunka]

When i 1st began seeing pictures of her ds i kinda snickered alittle as well. Although I don't agree with the hairstyle I've had the opportunity to get used to the look. I think in the beginning it didn't seem that big of a deal to her because he was around family mostly but I think she will find as the school progresses she will continue to have problems like this if she does not correct it now.

OP, I understand that this is a very, VERY serious situation....but honestly, when I saw the first couple of pics...I kind of let out a little laugh....he really does look like a little girl. I can see where this may be confusing for his classmates.

I am echoing the sentiments of many..but please, if she wont cut it- at least find a masculine hair style.

 

[Crysdon]

Just cut it. I wouldn't even cornroll it, still too feminine.