MIXED IDENTITY MIX-UP

[vainღ♥♡jane]

I get from some men who assume/insist I'm mixed. Even got a from a guy before when I told him I wasnt. He looked very disappointed.

i hate it when i can see the disappointment on their faces. it pisses me off to know that when they thought i was mixed they were pressed for me, but when i say i'm black, i'm all of a sudden not as hot. :whatever:​

 

[Renovating]

I don't think people assume you are mixed based on hair alone. No offense but most of the ladies that posted are light skinned or admit to having European features. I see why someone would see these combinations and think that, but I don't see why they would actually ask you. Asking someone if they are mixed is another story.

 

[BostonMaria]

And the other one asked if she had Indian or Finland in her family??? Finland??? Where she get that from

She thought it was funny.

FINLAND?!!! Ahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is too funny! What a random thing to ask. My youngest DD gets confused when people from India talk to her in their native language (whatever it is) LMAO she thinks its funny. I know its because she is Dominican and Middle Eastern, plus the long hair. My kid is oblivious to that stuff though. I don't teach her about what it means to be "mixed", I just let her be. But she'll learn I guess. erplexed

i hate it when i can see the disappointment on their faces. it pisses me off to know that when they thought i was mixed they were pressed for me, but when i say i'm black, i'm all of a sudden not as hot. :whatever:​

I don't know why but that just made me bust out laughing!

 

[Twix]

I have gotten this many times and I don't know where it comes from. I look like every other attractive woman that is properly groomed and dressed. I guess having two AA parents causes dissonance in too many peoples heads. Especially other AAs it seems. I get this from some of my own relatives! It's crazy I mean I know they have seen my mom and she is pretty homegrown. My dad has some stuff in the mix but that's neither here nor there. Although I am sure they are a lovely people I AM NOT PORTUGUESE! My hair is short right now but when it's longer folks are going to nut up! I cant wait

I think that it's this part (aside from the other posts about hair). The media spends so much time demonizing and uglifying the black woman that, when they see one of us that looks different from their socially instilled "norm" for black women, they are confounded and don't know what to think, aside from "oh, she must be mixed".

 

[GodivaChocolate]

My DD said that twice this week a couple of girls at her school on separate occasions asked her if she was mixed.

She said one asked her if she had Indian in her family. And then asked her was her mom and dad black.

And the other one asked if she had Indian or Finland in her family??? Finland??? Where she get that from

She thought it was funny.

That's funny my aunt is from Finland and her son's (3 boys, men now) are half "black" and Finish (sp?) and they all are fair ( my uncle is fair also) but they all look somewhat different. two of them have 3b hair and one of them is about a 3c/4a....that's not a common combination..I wonder where she got that from????

 

[toyagurl]

I think that it's this part (aside from the other posts about hair). The media spends so much time demonizing and uglifying the black woman that, when they see one of us that looks different from their socially instilled "norm" for black women, they are confounded and don't know what to think, aside from "oh, she must be mixed".

Yeah. It's much easier to think that all the "real" AA women look like Precious. (Not to knock Gabby of course)

 

[lalaland88]

Well, I happen to be a caribbean mutt. Both sides of my fam are mixed w/ asian, native, and white (mostly scandi) but none of these admixtures help w/ my hair growth and I am just culturally black, so this is how I identify and this is what I say when ppl ask me about my race.

A lot of the times ppl who are close enough to me to know my background, will hold my hair advice in total disregard. It's kind of frustrating that close friends view my advice as rubbish, because of some mixture. It leaves me feeling like 'Out of all the years that you have known me, how many of them was my hair just shoulder length (when stretched) ?' :/

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

I don't know about an "outsider" making assumptions, but as BostonMaria said, many Latinos are pretty adept at narrowing down another Latino's country of origin. This is similar to how Asians can tell subtle differences between Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, Thais, etc. Or South Asians being able to tell the differences between Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Sri Lankans, etc. Of course it's never an exact science (like with BostonMaria's "albino Asian man" who was Puerto Rican ) - and accent/dialect also come into play along with "looks" - but they usually come pretty close.

I can't tell where a black person is from just by looking at them, I am Nigerian (Yoruba tribe) and people either think I am Jamaican or Trinidadian mixed with coolie indian.

Africa is hard because you have the ethnic tribes and Igbos tell me I look Igbo or Hausa then I get Fulani. Then people from Ghana think I'm from there. I cannot tell unless it is extremly obvious. One boy in my class who I though was ethnically Afro-American (he has a slight accent since he grew up there) Is actually half Nigerian and half Afro-Dominican.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

FINLAND?!!! Ahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is too funny! What a random thing to ask. My youngest DD gets confused when people from India talk to her in their native language (whatever it is) LMAO she thinks its funny. I know its because she is Dominican and Middle Eastern, plus the long hair. My kid is oblivious to that stuff though. I don't teach her about what it means to be "mixed", I just let her be. But she'll learn I guess. erplexed

That's funny my aunt is from Finland and her son's (3 boys, men now) are half "black" and Finish (sp?) and they all are fair ( my uncle is fair also) but they all look somewhat different. two of them have 3b hair and one of them is about a 3c/4a....that's not a common combination..I wonder where she got that from????

It's hilarious and I would like to know where she got that from too--it's so random. Why Finland of all places .

 

[melodies815]

Sorry if someone has already has already said this...but aren't we all kind of mixed? All/most of us?

Doesn't the average black American have a number of races up in there somewhere?

It doesn't make the question less tactless when it comes, but...hmmm...I don't know...when I look at my daughter's hair, I don't know what to think of it. It's 3a, 3b, 4a, 4b, with spots of 4cdefghijk in wildly random places. She was WL last year, cut back to APL and is BSB now. Clearly, she's AA, but there's so much in the background...

...and to me, being AA automatically means being mixed - sometimes clearly so with light skin and light eyes, but most times, lying in the background but seen mostly through our hair...when we learn how to take care of it, that is...

I don't know...

erplexed

cj

 

[Sugar]

My dd pediatrician, an African lady would always ask me if I was mixed and from the West Indies, she said I looked like one of my parents was from India and the other Black.

I said yes I am mixed, my hair is Indian and I am black...lol (just joking)

Seriously, I get that a lot but I think people have been programmed to think that black people only look a certain way and if anyone has any subtle differences then they must not be black....What they fail to realize is that being Black comes in many forms, mixtures and features and being black displays it's traits uniquely on each individual.

I've had people ask me if I was mixed or just something completely non-Black. Its not my hair, its my facial features and skin tone.

Sri Lankans think I'm Sri Lankan
Filipinos have insisted that I was Filipino
Africans (and I do mean every variety of African I run into) think I'm Ethiopian (they're the only ones who are partially correct).

I was at a party and a couple of Nigerians asked me if I was Ethiopian. I said yes. One of them said "Yeah, I could tell...all that forehead..." jerk.