But I'm Not Mixed...oh lawd!

[Barbie83]

You can't change her mind. When she's done making excuses maybe her hair will long like yours.

BTW I know tons of mixed women that don't have long, healthy hair. I don't know why people think all mixed people have 3a flowing hair down to their ankles LOL

^^^exactly! My Mom is bi-racial and she has a thick lion's mane of MBL 4a/b natural hair. Her Daddy's DNA musta been STRONG lol

 

[Daughter]

Vestaluv, I feel you! I've had someone tell me that my hair isn't really type 4 and others doubt that they could grow their hair even up to shoulder length. Others have asked me and look disappointed if I tell them about what I do or don't do as opposed to some miracle hair product *sigh*

Man, I would have been taking notes down if someone was kind enough to share with me how to improve my hair's condition back in the day!

 

[locabouthair]

Vestaluv, I feel you! I've had someone tell me that my hair isn't really type 4 and others doubt that they could grow their hair even up to shoulder length. Others have asked me and look disappointed if I tell them about what I do or don't do as opposed to some miracle hair product *sigh*

Man, I would have been taking notes down if someone was kind enough to share with me how to improve my hair's condition back in the day!

Thats another thing. If you're not mixed you have to be using some mircale product.

 

[beans4reezy]

I'd probably think that too if i never found this site. Oh well

This is exactly how I thought before finding lchf. I am proving myself wrong, one strand at a time.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Wow, that's a mess. Shows how deeply this thing is ingrained... and she knows your family background and *still* went to the "I'm not mixed" argument?

 

[jamaraa]

People are gonna believe what they want folks....you can't MAKE then grow their hair. Are their hang ups impeding your progress? If not, you gave it the old college try so you can go on and do like Atlas...shrug.

 

[wavezncurlz]

vestaluv,
Has she known you since you began your HHJ? Did you show her your progress pictures. That would do it for me!

 

[Ganjababy]

This mentality is sad. I experience it with a few people around me. You progress is inspiring though- congratulations

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Yup, that mentality will stay with her and so will damaged hair if she relaxes after removing the braids. Bad hair practices makes us have short hair. Thankfully LHCF gives me hope I can achieve long hair,

 

[CoilyFields]

I know so many of us, including myself, thought this way about our hair. But I guess we just keep being supportive and giving out good hair advice and hopefully others will catch on. But we definately have to be empathetic because you basically have to tear down generations of bad hair habits and myths before you can really reach that person. Looking back now i realize that certain concepts didnt make sense but before my HHJ I woulda swore up and down that grease was a moisturizer and that trimming your ends helped your hair grow LOL!

 

[crazydaze911]

just show her the progress pics from ur siggy - that should convince anyone

 

[Daughter]

It's true, I know that I fell for many misconceptions about hair, whether relaxed or natural. I always thought that those with healthy hair just had it like that.

That's one reason I love LHCF though, there's a wealth of information here shared freely

 

[LoveisYou]

There's still a lot of ignorance about hair in the community so sad.

 

[toyagurl]

My cousin and I just had this conversation. Her hair is JACKED up and always has been. She has never had enough hair to even have a bang to come to her eyebrows. She wears those hood hair styles with glue and such. The sad thing is she is jacking up her 2 daughters hair too. She was like you are mixed. I am like my mother is your dad's sister?! She proceeded to talk to me about my dad's side of the family and I am like yes he has mixed lineage but I mean that's the story of most of us here in the USA right! She just won't listen and I can tell that she has low self esteem, partially because of her hair. It's like we can't just have healthy hair because we take care of it...it's because someone is mixed. So sad and untrue.

 

[beans4reezy]

There's still a lot of ignorance about hair in the community so sad.

What's sadder is that ignorance essentially paralyzes folks. What I mean is, with VestaLuv's story, that girl should have pulled out a book and started taking notes on what Vesta did to grow her hair. Instead, her preconceived notions about not having that "good hair" keeps her frozen to the point that she's not even willing to TRY.

This is just so sad to me. Even if you think your hair wont grow, at least try something that worked for someone else...dang, ignorance is killing our sisters.

 

[vestaluv1]

just show her the progress pics from ur siggy - that should convince anyone

You would think so huh!
Anyway, even after showing her my photos, she said that my hair has grown a lot but she doesn't understand why I would want natural long hair (I'm transitioning) because in her words... "what would I do with it".
In other words, she reckons that natural hair is unruly, let alone LONG natural hair.

I have given up anyway as I was sensing just a little bit of attitude after I showed her some pics from lhcf and I'm probably wasting my time trying to help her out with her hair.

Oh well, I was only trying to help .

 

[lilsparkle825]

I've struggled with this a LOT and for that reason probably won't be helping out many family members...they are resigned to thinking I'm crazy so I'm resigned to seeing them nearly bald for the rest of their lives.

HOWEVER, for those who have a glimmer of hope, I would be willing to take over their haircare for 3-6 months to show them that IT IS possible. I'd do something like rollerset their hair once a week and show them what moisturizer to use between wash days.