Met a guy online......

[Phoenix11]

he's white. He said "from your pic I thought you were darker, but it's OK." Like...you'll do. He was really disappointed I wasn't darker.

As if interracial relationships aren't tough enough, now I have to pass a color shade test.

BTW...I am a deep, rich brown color.

 

[Mai Tai]

I would have responded..."From your pic, I would have guessed that you were more attractive.....but it's ok"

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

I would have responded..."From your pic, I would have guessed that you were more attractive.....but it's ok"

Yup. With this guy, it seems like the tip of the iceberg of how things would never be good enough for him. Rubs me the wrong way, for that reason.

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

he's white. He said "from your pic I thought you were darker, but it's OK." Like...you'll do. He was really disappointed I wasn't darker.

As if interracial relationships aren't tough enough, now I have to pass a color shade test.

BTW...I am a deep, rich brown color.

It's like White men want you to be darker and black men want you to be lighter.....

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

I would have responded..."From your pic, I would have guessed that you were more attractive.....but it's ok"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[jamaraa]

Lots of WM seem to prefer their sistahs "really Black"...they like the natural hair...dreds seem to big thing, dark skin, and even gelee type dressing. You see this quite often.

Ironic. Sistahs always assume they are "too dark, etc" for non BM and when the guy wants just that, y'all trippin' there too! Lawdy!

Men of NO race can seem to win w/ sistahs.

(OP that's no knock at YOU personally, but these kinds of things are often among the complaints of BW about men in general. Some of us seem to resent men having ANY preferences at all. )

 

[runwaydream]

Lots of WM seem to prefer their sistahs "really Black"...they like the natural hair...dreds seem to big thing, dark skin, and even gelee type dressing. You see this quite often.

Ironic. Sistahs always assume they are "too dark, etc" for non BM and when the guy wants just that, y'all trippin' there too! Lawdy!

Men of NO race can seem to win w/ sistahs.

(OP that's no knock at YOU personally, but these kinds of things are often among the complaints of BW about men in general. Some of us seem to resent men having ANY preferences at all. )

wait, wait, wait, hold up. so a guy meets her and comments on how her skin isn't dark enough but that it'll suffice and she's supposed to be happy about that?
i see nothing wrong w. her being wary of this guy.

 

[jamaraa]

wait, wait, wait, hold up. so a guy meets her and comments on how her skin isn't dark enough but that it'll suffice and she's supposed to be happy about that?
i see nothing wrong w. her being wary of this guy.

Did you read what I wrote? I made it specifically clear I wasn't referring to her sitch, but the general beefs.

He was VERY rude to say that to her...a complete stranger, but why should anyone be surprised that men have prefs? Some folks act like having prefs is a sin or something.

In reading her post, she seemed much more angry that he had a pref than that he was rude in expressing it to her, at least to me. Please don't try to make it something it ain't. She's upset that he had a color pref.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Well I met a guy online and he said he like dark skin. So I thought he was rejecting me. Turns out dark to him is any shade darker than fair.

 

[Phoenix11]

Did you read what I wrote? I made it specifically clear I wasn't referring to her sitch, but the general beefs.

He was VERY rude to say that to her...a complete stranger, but why should anyone be surprised that men have prefs? Some folks act like having prefs is a sin or something.

In reading her post, she seemed much more angry that he had a pref than that he was rude in expressing it to her, at least to me. Please don't try to make it something it ain't. She's upset that he had a color pref.

I am not upset/angry that he has a color preference. Our preference is what brought us together. I however could never imagining telling someone you are not "white enough", "light enough", "bright enough" then to follow it up with "but you will do." How could anyone not be offended by this.

Come on Jamaraa...we all have preferences. No revelation there. What bothers me is he didn't have any filters to not express this to me in such a tastelessy open manner. When sizing someone up, there are conversations that you should maintain in your head.

 

[Cheleigh]

I photograph darker in my photos than I am IRL, especially in winter, so I've had several guys (online) comment that they thought I was darker--one was white, and two were black. It's just an observation, IMO, unless the guy is a fetishist, which is not a good look at all. I dated a (white) guy who had a fetishist preference for darker skinned women in college, and it was not cool.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Fetishy guys with no filter are awful, period. At least he is giving himself away as an arse from early on. Time to

 

[Phoenix11]

I photograph darker in my photos than I am IRL, especially in winter, so I've had several guys (online) comment that they thought I was darker--one was white, and two were black. It's just an observation, IMO, unless the guy is a fetishist, which is not a good look at all. I dated a (white) guy who had a fetishist preference for darker skinned women in college, and it was not cool.

An observation...fine.

Commenting "but it's OK"....not so much.

 

[awhyley]

If you continue this relationship, just be wary that he may have a fetish; which may change the dynamic.
(and Keep us posted, cause we nosy)