MEN.....Their Emotions VS. Their Physical Desire

[hunnybunny81]

I decided to start this thread because of something that I saw in the Entertainment forum and it got me thinking. I have a very unconventional way of seeing things and wanted to know if their was anyone else that shared in the way I think...and if you don't I'm curious to know why you believe what you do....


So basically this is about Diddy and Kim Porter. A lot of women think that she's stupid or whatever for always "going back to him" and a lot of people think that he doesn't "really love her" because he always steps out on her and won't marry her....


I have come to believe that there are in fact a LOT of men out here like Diddy...and women like Kim...now I'm not making excuses or trying to debate about right or wrong...I just don't necessarily subscribe to the belief that a woman like Kim should be labeled "stupid"...



Here's what I think, I think its possible for a man to love a woman and STILL sleep with other women. I believe that a majority of men's emotions are very separate from their penis. They make decisions with their private parts that have nothing to do with their emotions, and I believe it is why a lot of men have a difficult time being in a monogamous relationship. They have an emotional tie with a woman, yet there is a part of them(their penis) that feels the neeed to be sexual with other women outside of his relationship....does that mean the man doesn't love you??????

I personally don't think it means that, I think he can Love you, and still venture out of his relationship. There are a lot of people that have "open relationships/marriages" based on this premise...and I begin to wonder sometimes if it really is THAT hard of a thing to believe that there are people out there who have emotional ties with one person but not just phyiscal ties with one person.

And is a woman "Stupid" for involving herself with a man who has emotional ties with her and physical ties with her AND other women......I understand the risks from a HEALTH standpoint so I don't feel the need to get into a lot of back and forth on that issue...I'm more more so interested in talking about the emotional aspect of this dynamic. Men being able to separate their emotions from sex and what women think about that....

Am I stupid for understanding that a man can have emotional ties with me and physical ties with someone other than me that have nothing to do with his emotions. Or am i just enlightened. There are a lot of women, who are in relationships with men that step out on them, that don't know that they are being stepped out on...and on the flip side there are women, who do know it and still choose to be involved with that man...

So does that make her "Stupid", does that mean he doesn't "really love her"????????????

There are just my thoughts...if you disagree hopefully you'll do so respectfully.....

 

[janiebaby]

I think they're both doing what's best for them.

I'm pretty sure (wasn't in the room though) Diddy told her in the beginning what to expect from him and she accepted him on his terms. Even in her interviews she explains that they're friends first and that she never comes at him on some angry tip.

I think that Kim loves him and because of her previous background in the business may think that it is realistic to have low expectations in regard to his fidelity. I do believe that she is smart to have sought out child support while living with him and involved in a relationship. At least she learned something from Diddy.

Also, I think many women will have something negative to say about her and would love to see her in the worst situation possible. If they're happy, I'm happy.

 

[dlewis]

Here's what I think, I think its possible for a man to love a woman and STILL sleep with other women. I believe that a majority of men's emotions are very separate from their penis. They make decisions with their private parts that have nothing to do with their emotions, and I believe it is why a lot of men have a difficult time being in a monogamous relationship. They have an emotional tie with a woman, yet there is a part of them(their penis) that feels the neeed to be sexual with other women outside of his relationship....does that mean the man doesn't love you??????

So does that make her "Stupid", does that mean he doesn't "really love her"????????????

There are just my thoughts...if you disagree hopefully you'll do so respectfully.....

I do believe it's possible for a man to love a woman and STILL sleep with other women. But I coulsn't not stay with a man who sleeps around. I think Kim is smart in a lot of ways, she gets mega child support from those little babies. I think she just really loves the Dud but yes I would say she stupid in this case.

 

[chichibean]

It's hard to say... who really knows what type of relationship they have. Afterall, Kim gets herself and her children well taken care of by Diddy and maybe they agree to a relationship with limited strings. Who's to say she isn't doing her own thing (with other men) too. We may just not hear about it

 

[weaveadiva]

Here's what I think, I think its possible for a man to love a woman and STILL sleep with other women. I believe that a majority of men's emotions are very separate from their penis. They make decisions with their private parts that have nothing to do with their emotions, and I believe it is why a lot of men have a difficult time being in a monogamous relationship. They have an emotional tie with a woman, yet there is a part of them(their penis) that feels the neeed to be sexual with other women outside of his relationship....does that mean the man doesn't love you??????

I think he can Love you, and still venture out of his relationship. There are a lot of people that have "open relationships/marriages" based on this premise...and I begin to wonder sometimes if it really is THAT hard of a thing to believe that there are people out there who have emotional ties with one person but not just phyiscal ties with one person.

girl get out of my head!...have you been reading my blog?

i totally agree with you on this post. sometimes the physical act has nothing at all to do with his emotions. i also believe a man can cheat and still love you. i know a couple that hs an open marriage, and they are happy. it works for them, and i don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[Dposh167]

they arent back together are they?

 

[scorpio70]

i agree that a man's desires and his emotions are in different 'compartments'. but, i also believe that a man that loves you won't continually do something that he KNOWS is going to hurt you or make you look stupid.

diddy is being a selfish a-hole. all of the excuses about never having seen a healthy male/female rel'ship are just that EXCUSES. he's old enough to have gotten some therapy and made some efforts to be a good example to his sons. What are his actions teaching them about how to respect a woman?

Kim's a beautiful girl, I just wish she knew her worth (on the inside). She can do better than diddy, even with all of those kids.

my 13 cents.

 

[PeopleTalkDaily]

I agree to disagree I think a man can love you and sleep with someone else. I think that's 'em being selfish..

But I question the love...If you love me why would you share something so intimate with someone else. U giving me the same thing u gave someone else.

Men try to say you know they may love a women mind, body and soul.
then love a women only physically but I truly never understand it.

I can't and couldn't love my man sincerly knowing he is intimate with someone else..


I don't know..Ladies share more feedback....

FYI-Kim isn't stupid in a sense she getting that paper.
Just in a crazy way...

 

[Ivonnovi]

I agree BUT I also think there are WOMEN that FUNCTION THE SAME WAY. As a matter of fact I know a few.

 

[AstroQueen77]

I personally believe that monogamy is genetic. You either have the gene or you dont. The resonsibility comes when you lead someone on that you know wants something different(fidelity). So yes, I do believe a person can love someone and still sleep with other people.
That being said, I have a gut feeling that Diddy isnt one of these people. Hes just a selfish little boy in emotional maturity. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
BUT, even if diddy is really one of those people I mentioned above, and they do both love each other, she still has some self esteem issues, because she obviously keeps standing by him even though shes very clear he has been deceitful and hurtful to her. He even spelled it out for her that hes not sure he can be a good boyfriend. She wants and continues to go after somthing he cant provide, and I have to give her the side eye for that.

 

[Farida]

Anybody can have sex, and still love someone else.

The fact is, some people choose not to.

I know men don't see sex the same way as most women do.

That being said, I personally would not let a man off the hook just because it was physical.

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

Here's my stance...

I believe that a man can love a woman and still sleep with other women.

HOWEVER, in my opinion, a man who does so does not really love his wife as much as the man who does not cheat.

The man who does not cheat loves his wife and respects/wants the relationship enough to the point where he feels that it is better to remain faithful than to risk it all for some extra booty.

The man who does cheat may love his wife, but he loves himself more and he does so in a narcissistic manner. What he wants, what he "needs" is more important to him than any harm he would/could cause his wife. He may care about her and love being in a relationship with her (especially the security), but he doesn't care enough about her to forgo running after some new booty.

Now my opinion is based on the guy who has, all things considered, a really good wife. Their communication is pretty good. Sex is good. And they get on with each other quite well. But for whatever reason, he still seeks some extra on the side.

If we're dealing with a less than good relationship - bad communication, sex life is out of whack, etc. then that's a totally different situation.

 

[Farida]

Here's my stance...

I believe that a man can love a woman and still sleep with other women.

HOWEVER, in my opinion, a man who does so does not really love his wife as much as the man who does not cheat.

The man who does not cheat loves his wife and respects/wants the relationship enough to the point where he feels that it is better to remain faithful than to risk it all for some extra booty.

The man who does cheat may love his wife, but he loves himself more and he does so in a narcissistic manner. What he wants, what he "needs" is more important to him than any harm he would/could cause his wife. He may care about her and love being in a relationship with her (especially the security), but he doesn't care enough about her to forgo running after some new booty.

Now my opinion is based on the guy who has, all things considered, a really good wife. Their communication is pretty good. Sex is good. And they get on with each other quite well. But for whatever reason, he still seeks some extra on the side.

If we're dealing with a less than good relationship - bad communication, sex life is out of whack, etc. then that's a totally different situation.

ITA with that point.

 

[locabouthair]

I dont understand how any person, man or woman can be comfortable in their relationship knowing that your SO steps out on you all the time. That has to do something to you, unless you're cheating also or with him for money.

If that's love, that aint the type of love I want.

I don't care if 99% of men were like Diddy, I'm not settling for that.

 

[FlowerHair]

I think that Diddy loves Kim. But I also think Kim let little things pass without addressing them and then they turned into full out affairs with other women. If she had put her foot down from the start, she would probably be married to him now - if that's what she wants. Obviously, she has a strong pull on him...