Marry for money or love?

[humility1990]

Since the divorce rate has shot up since our modern attitude to marriage, would you marry for 'love' or financial reasons?

 

[SummerSolstice]

a combo. there needs to be a balance. especially with this economy, you can't just "live on love" anymore. shoot, we can barely live
love is one thing but I can't have anyone dragging me down into sickness and poverty. we need to be excelling together to leave a legacy and cushion for our children.

 

[LadyBugsy]

Both. Or stay single. You can do bad all by yourself. And a man counting my coins is not a relationship I want to have or vice versa. People should be as close to equally yolked as possible.

 

[mzcris]

I would need a balance of both of these.

 

[Nyssa28]

1st time for love with SOME money; if there's a 2nd time it's all for money.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Can you clarify a bit?

Of course most would say a balance. ITA!

Do you mean he has to make more, or an equal amount?

For example I make about 10K+ more than my hubby....
Some people are NOT okay with that.

I am. For one...my hubby can BUDGET and BALANCE his behind off. I spend if unhinged. We put all our $$ together. We have access to each other's accounts. He actually puts ME on a budget...So it works. We've saved a lot as a result. IDK...just thinking out loud...What are you ladies' thoughts on that?

Is him making a lot less a deal breaker? Or a little bit more? I also ask because when we first got married, I was making a little more, then with raises i was up to 21K than more until his recent raise (finally).

 

[humility1990]

What I mean is, personally I believe there should be a certain amount of affection for the individual one chooses to marry. However, I have observed people I know dating unequally in terms of financial prospects. Eg. she may be doing a medical degree, he may be unable to attain a job and have poor prospects, but treat her like a queen. In a situation similar to this would love be enough for you or is money more important?

 

[CarolinaGal]

Hope I'm not going too far off base, but lack of financial stability is a deal breaker. I don't care how much I love/like you. I can do bad by myself. He doesn't have to be a millionaire, but he better have some assets. I'm too old to be tied up with some broke dude. Men in my age group should be solid.

 

[Love Always]

Both. I can't get with the pick one or the other option, especially in marriage.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Both. I need to feel something for the person I'm vowing to spend the rest of my life with, presumably have children with etc. But love doesn't pay the bills and if he's not bringing something substantial to the table I don't really have any use for him, I can do bad all by myself. Part of what makes me fall in love with a man is knowing/trusting he's going to take care of his family. So financial stability is must.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Money and have a jump off.

The End.

 

[LoveLongLocks]

Love. Money, circumstances, and financial status' change. Genuine love is long lasting.
I realize most would look down on my point of view, but I believe moral code has priority. - the other things fall into place.
Peoples lives and careers evolve/grow as time passes, what a person is today does not guarantee what he will be tomorrow.

 

[DarkJoy]

Hope I'm not going too far off base, but lack of financial stability is a deal breaker. I don't care how much I love/like you. I can do bad by myself. He doesn't have to be a millionaire, but he better have some assets. I'm too old to be tied up with some broke dude. Men in my age group should be solid.

QFT.

Actually, I already married for love to a dude that was broke in our early 20s. At almost 40, he's still broke and we ain't together anymore. So guess what I'd marry for next time? lol. I'd actually go for marrying with a solid foundation of friendship to someone who is financially solid and can stick to a financial plan. Love comes in time... I don't believe in the 'tra-la-la' romantic bs anymore. That's fantasy.

Mutual respect, friendship, and same goals = solid partnership.

 

[naturallygoldie]

Love. Money, circumstances, and financial status' change. Genuine love is long lasting.
I realize most would look down on my point of view, but I believe moral code has priority. - the other things fall into place.
Peoples lives and careers evolve/grow as time passes, what a person is today does not guarantee what he will be tomorrow.

I definetely share your point of view. I'd marry for love. Money will always come but true love cannot be manufactured. Some say they fall in love after marrying for money. That's good for them I guess. I'd rather have love first.

 

[Ganjababy]

Depends.

Love passionately but broke with bad attitude (womaniser, lazy etc) no.

Rich but no passionate feeling of love but has good attributes (kind, responsible ambitious etc) yes.

Rich but has bad attributes then no.

For me passionate love is NOT the most important thing in a relationship. I have loved passionately and deeply before and the guy was a bastard. Compatibility and a good character is more important in a long lasting relationship for me.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Love does not keep food on the table. love isnt enough.

 

[greenandchic]

Money comes and goes. A beau of mine is financially stable, (low $200k self-employed salary), but I know money can come and go.

How we feel about each other is most important. I would hate for him or anyone to have strict standards (finance, health, etc) that's not always in my control and leave me on my a$$ when I "failed".

With that said, I would never court a guy that can hardly care for himself.

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

Money. Money. Money

 

[DarkJoy]

I would never court a guy that can hardly care for himself.

Another QFT. That's where I was when so young and no experience. Dude stayed broke, slept in until 3 in the afternoon and smoked weed the rest of his waking hours. Oh we worked sometimes. But there I was in love, mostly supporting the love of my life and blind as a bat to his user ways.
Ahhh, to do it all over again--I definately would NOT chose love in that case.

 

[naturallygoldie]

Love gives you the desire to find means to put food on the table. So yes, love does put food on the table, and keeps the bills paid.

Love inspires and motivates. Both people have to be in love with each other. If you're in love with somebody who isn't in love with you doesn't discount the dynamic power of love.

 

[EbonyTresses]

I'm kind of going through something similar now, kinda funny. I know I need both. Love doesn't always come, and I would hate to be married to a man that I hate lying next to; wishing he was someone else.

 

[mochalocks]

I'd marry for Love. Money comes and goes. But, if the marriage fails it is always good to have your OWN money.

 

[StarScream35]

For me its gotta be love. I couldn't imagine sharing deep intimacy with someone who I wanted to be with simply because of money. I've dated guys who I wasn't attracted to and the thought of them touching me made me go 'Yuck".

 

[PopLife]

Love trumps money.
A financial status can be changed, but you can't change who you truly love....