Married and unhappy OR single and lonely?

Be real - which would you prefer . . .

  • Married and unhappy

    Votes: 4 8.7%

  • Single and lonely

    Votes: 42 91.3%
  • Total voters
    46
  • Poll closed .
Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
I have a good friend who is in a rotten marriage. Her husband is a lousy mate. I won't get into any details (because it's not my place to put her business on the internet), but suffice it to say that he is completely and totally inconsiderate and selfish. (And it doesn't help that my friend is extremely giving of herself.) Really, he's like a teenager inhabiting a 40 year old's body.

She is inching closer to giving him an ultimatum, but admits that she doesn't want to get rid of him because she doesn't want to be "alone." (She admits that she is "lonely" in the marriage, but still feels that's better than literally being "alone.") She is in her late 30s and doesn't feel like she would be able to find another husband. (She is like me - one of those girls who is very shy with men and has not dated much.)

I have been thinking about this situation and can't decide which is worse - *Chris Rock voice* being married and unhappy or single and lonely?

Any thoughts (other than "She needs to kick that chump to the curb!")?
 
I'd rather be single and lonely. I can be miserable by my dang self. I aint letting no other **** make me miserable.
 
Going on the premise that men are only good for their pee-pees...of which I can easily replace in the local sex toy store, and, if my heart so desires have a child through artificial insemination...I voted "Single and Lonely".
 
Ok, the Chris Joke says "You are either single and lonley or married and bored, single and lonely or married and bored; there is not happiness no more. When you married you want to kill your spouse; when you are single you want to kill yourself" I know this joke by heart because I think that it is very funny and very telling at the same time.
Now, I am married and a lot of times, I am extremely bored, but being miserable has nothing to do with being bored or married. As a matter of a fact, Chris Rock says that relationships are only exciting(not boring) when there is drama and craziness, and that is not boring.
Now, I have a friend like yours. She wanted to be with that man so bad, and she was emotionally addicted to the drama and mess. I tried to help her, and there was no help because she was not hurting bad enough. Someone once told me that people will stop bumping there head when it actually starts to hurt them bad enough, and she is just not hurting bad enough because when you touch a hot stove and realize that it burns; you don't touch the stove anymore.
In the case of the joke, I would rather be married and Bored, but not unhappy.
 
Single and lonely. No way would I want to be stuck with someone else that's making me miserable.
 
Mrs.Pretty08 said:
Ok, the Chris Joke says "You are either single and lonley or married and bored, single and lonely or married and bored; there is not happiness no more. When you married you want to kill your spouse; when you are single you want to kill yourself" I know this joke by heart because I think that it is very funny and very telling at the same time.
Now, I am married and a lot of times, I am extremely bored, but being miserable has nothing to do with being bored or married. As a matter of a fact, Chris Rock says that relationships are only exciting(not boring) when there is drama and craziness, and that is not boring.
Now, I have a friend like yours. She wanted to be with that man so bad, and she was emotionally addicted to the drama and mess. I tried to help her, and there was no help because she was not hurting bad enough. Someone once told me that people will stop bumping there head when it actually starts to hurt them bad enough, and she is just not hurting bad enough because when you touch a hot stove and realize that it burns; you don't touch the stove anymore.
In the case of the joke, I would rather be married and Bored, but not unhappy.
Click to expand...

All that to say the bolded.:spinning:


I'm just kidding. I like your post and Chris Rock's joke
 
neither of those would be my options, I can't even hypothetically pick one ..... its like a mindset or something.....she must feel those are the only options...stay with him and be miserable or leave him and never find anybody else.....

I would pick single and alone....big difference being alone vs being lonely
 
Neither choice is desirable. The common factor in both scenarios is your girl friend. Once she learns how to make her own self happy she'll be able to make the right decision.
 
Even when I was single I wasn't lonely. I think for me neither applies. I won't stay in a situation that makes me miserable, and if I'm single and that lonely, I'll go get a goldfish or somethin.

-A
 
Arcadian said:
Even when I was single I wasn't lonely. I think for me neither applies. I won't stay in a situation that makes me miserable, and if I'm single and that lonely, I'll go get a goldfish or somethin.

-A
Click to expand...


We are so alike it is pathetic :lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
Does being lonely make you unhappy? If so, then either way you are miserable then. So, neither.
 
I'd rather be single and lonely. Less damn drama and stress, imo. No thanks to legal battles.

As for your friend...when she eventually grows a back-bone and/or cuts the crap and realises that she deserves more, she will come to a decision that actually benefits her. Her current stance of staying in there because she doesn't want to be alone is only benefiting her husband.
 
I can do bad all by myself. This is a no brainer. I would rather be single and lonely. But, being me; I will find a way to deal with the loneliness.
 
NappturalWomyn said:
I can do bad all by myself. This is a no brainer. I would rather be single and lonely. But, being me; I will find a way to deal with the loneliness.
Click to expand...

I feel you on this.

But some women need to have a man. Glib, no offense to your friend but I think this is the case for her.
 
**kandi** said:
Glib, no offense to your friend but I think this is the case for her.
Click to expand...

I don't even know if it's having a "man" per se - she is an immigrant and doesn't have that many friends or family members in the USA . . . so I think she feels like by having a husband/her own family, she at least has someone . . .

*sigh*
 

I know what it means to be unhappy... but what does it mean to be lonely..i think people will have different interpretations...I have often heared people complain about being lonely in a relationship, marriage etc...And I have seen many single happy people...I voted single and lonely but i am biased as i love my own company...The guys that I meet often speak of searching for mates that understand the value of space and me time...mmmmm interesting...Could this not be lonley for women who are in constant need of affection and everything else they get in realtionships....as we know some people just can't funtion alone....​
 
Glib Gurl said:
I don't even know if it's having a "man" per se - she is an immigrant and doesn't have that many friends or family members in the USA . . . so I think she feels like by having a husband/her own family, she at least has someone . . .

*sigh*
Click to expand...

Oh thats actually kind of sad. Maybe you can help her find more friends and get more active in hobbies, orgs., church etc.
 
Married and unhappy... NO!

Married and bored over Single and Lonely... YES!!!

I'll take bored anyday... but I could never be bored...

I can always entertain myself.
 
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