Marriage Name Change?

werenumber2

werenumber2

Well-Known Member
So I’ve been married for three whole years now and still haven’t officially changed my name.

I didn’t realize that I would have to make the decision the day we applied for the marriage certificate, and I ended up choosing to hyphenate under pressure. Now I keep coming across experiences of women who say it’s totally annoying having a hyphenated name - people end up dropping your married name out of laziness, computer records don’t always register hyphens and screw up the name, etc. :spinning:

I’m guessing that I would have to go back to the New York courthouse to get an amended marriage certificate if I decide to switch solely to my husband’s name, which sounds like a pain in the behind. We have a child now (who has his father’s last name) so I don’t want to complicate life by just saying screw it and keeping my maiden name completely. What say y’all?
 
I dropped my maiden name, but my husband’s last name is hyphenated. It is kinda annoying, and usually I end up being called one of the two last names.

I got married in Illinois. They put our current names that were on our ID’s on the marriage certificate. I never got a new marriage certificate to reflect my name change, and I don’t think it’s necessary to do.
 
I knew I would change my name before we got married because I didn't want to deal with written an extra name and hyphen.

I had planned to keep my maiden name on my professional license and employment records. But when we purchased a house out of state (got married in IL then moved to IN), or lender said the last names on the salary verification had to match the name signed on the deed. I just sent in a copy of my marriage license with our original names and they changed it. My professional license now has both names but I go by my maiden name.
 
Is that a state thing to choose name options on marriage certificate?

I didn't need to anything until I needed to update my SSN card.

Hyphenated name is only a pain if you want it to be or if you have a long maiden/married name combo.
I dropped my old middle name (I didn’t really care for it anyway) and now my maiden name is my middle name. I use all 3 names or at least my middle initial because my signature is still my maiden name. May not be an issue for most people but in my job I sign tons of contracts and actually have an electronic signature so changing it would be a headache. First, Maiden (now middle) and married names are all short so no issue is using all 3.
 
Begin signing using your married name and apply for a new social security card. I have a hyphenated name and yes it's a major pain in the behind! People just put my name into computer files all willy nilly, I always have difficulty with finding my accounts if they are filed by name. I didn't drop my middle name, so I have 4 names. People use selective hearing and just type whatever they feel like. :fistshake:
 
madamdot said:
Is that a state thing to choose name options on marriage certificate?
Click to expand...

It probably does vary state by state. I had never heard of anyone else having to do that. Hence why I was completely caught off-guard when the woman at the courthouse asked what I was changing my name to. I was like, “Uhhh, do I need to decide that now??” and she said yes. So the name on my marriage certificate is hyphenated. I should’ve just gotten married in Jersey :laugh:


classychic1908 said:
Begin signing using your married name and apply for a new social security card. I have a hyphenated name and yes it's a major pain in the behind! People just put my name into computer files all willy nilly, I always have difficulty with finding my accounts if they are filed by name. I didn't drop my middle name, so I have 4 names. People use selective hearing and just type whatever they feel like. :fistshake:
Click to expand...

Yep, I also have a middle name (that I use) so I would be in the same situation of having 4 names if I stayed hyphenated. :rolleyes:
 
Welp, I guess the decision has been made for me. :wallbash:
  • Amendments cannot be made to change your new surname.
  • If you wish to make any change in the surname on your Certificate of Marriage Registration, you and your spouse must remarry.
 
werenumber2 said:
Welp, I guess the decision has been made for me. :wallbash:
  • Amendments cannot be made to change your new surname.
  • If you wish to make any change in the surname on your Certificate of Marriage Registration, you and your spouse must remarry.
Click to expand...

Could you not just do a legal name change? That may or may not be more of a pain in the butt than it’s worth, but just a suggestion.

I think they did ask for my new name on the marriage license, but I’m not sure what the point of asking for it was, because once we submitted the marriage license, we didn’t get it back. Our marriage certificate simply says that “rafikichick maiden name” married “soccer guy” on such and such date. Idk if social security checked with the county to see if I was consistent with what I put down on the marriage license. I’ve always wondered about that actually.
 
qchelle said:
Me and my dh had the same last name prior to marriage #CantRelate :lol:
Click to expand...

You should both change your names. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson-Johnson :laugh:


lisatamika said:
I hyphenated, and it is most definitely a pain in every way. It's done on the marriage certificate in California, and not even sure how I could change it.
Click to expand...

Please elaborate how it’s a pain! I need to know what I’m getting myself into. And yes, California and NY are two of the few states where you have to make the decision the day you apply for the license
 
My mom kept her maiden name so I have two fairly unique last names, especially my dad's. I grew up with my name being butchered, and hating scantrons :crybaby:. As an adult, my name doesn't fit on anything like debit cards. My maiden name is already hyphenated, and if I keep it when I get married, I'll have 3 last names :spinning: :spinning: . I'm leaning towards taking my future husband's last name, but I was raised to keep mine and just hyphenate again. I could make it my middle name, but I love my middle name (Island) and don't want to get rid of it. But our poor future children!! Three last names! Two is a pain in the butt already!
 
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werenumber2 said:
You should both change your names. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson-Johnson :laugh:




Please elaborate how it’s a pain! I need to know what I’m getting myself into. And yes, California and NY are two of the few states where you have to make the decision the day you apply for the license
Click to expand...

I always, ALWAYS have to spell it .... and people still don't get it even though my DH's last name is pretty common. Also, for work e-mails it often includes my hyphenated last name, which means MORE SPELLING!

It's a pain, but is it more of a pain hyphenating just to wind up wanting to change later? Just pick one :lol:
 
On my marriage license, I dropped my middle name and made my middle name my maiden name, then took my husband's name. In reality, I actually treat my maiden and married name as a double last name, no hyphen. I haven't changed anything over though because I'm lazy.

Hyphenated names are mad annoying, except when they flow really well which is not many.
 
I don’t understand the issue(the logistics part). My marriage license has my full maiden name. Three months after we were married I applied to change my name on my social security card and I thus I legally became “Lilikoi -Maiden name-hubby last name” (gladly took the opportunity to drop my boring middle name I never used nor liked). Getting a new drivers license once I got the SS card, then later using new name when we first filed our taxes together sealed the deal.

From a socio-political standpoint, I confess it irked me a little that women are expected to change names, but it meant a lot to hubby that I took his name so I did. It’s been many years since, no regrets.
 
I'm getting married this year and thought about making my maiden name my middle name, but that requires a legal name change. I didnt think I'd be so resistant to taking on my partner's last name. I may let numerology settle it for me.
 
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I want to change my name, but it makes me feel a mourning of some type that I can’t explain. FH feels VERY strongly about it, tho...

I thought about hyphenating it or using both (maiden as middle), but I really love my middle name and my maiden last name is a male’s first name...I’m afraid it will be too Hispanic-esque (all those names!) & masculine sounding. Help :(
 
MissNina said:
I want to change my name, but it makes me feel a mourning of some type that I can’t explain. FH feels VERY strongly about it, tho...

I thought about hyphenating it or using both (maiden as middle), but I really love my middle name and my maiden last name is a male’s first name...I’m afraid it will be too Hispanic-esque (all those names!) & masculine sounding. Help :(
Click to expand...
It took me over two years and $ with the DMV but I got to keep my middle name and add my maiden name as a second middle name.
 
I moved my maiden name to my middle name. So now I have 2 middle names. In my state, name changes aren't decided on the marriage certificate. You have to go down to the SSA office to submit for a name change and request a new SS card. You keep your maiden name until you finally decide when to go....if you go.
 
SO and I are talking about getting engaged this year, married in 2021 and I unintentionally let him know I plan to hyphenate and keep my maiden name for work and use his name socially. :giggle: He seemed surprised. I don't want to drop my middle name because I got it from my great-great aunt on my mom's side.

I always thought my mom completely dropped her maiden name until I found out she hyphenated and just uses my dad's.
 
I didn't change my name at all. It's also sometimes a pain, because people assume we have the same last name, which is understandable. I sometimes still consider changing it, more than 7 years in now ... But I would not hyphenate.
 
I knew I wouldn't hyphenate, but ended up adding his last name and keeping my maiden name as a middle name. I only use my first and last names with no middle initials until I renew some official document.

It took me 3 years to change anything.
 
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