Man and a woman living together.....

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Thank you everyone for your opinions. I'm still on the fence should a Christian woman/man live with the opposite sex and if it goes against God.

But I will leave the matter in God's hands; if I'm in a situation where I need a roommate or a place to live. I'm going to trust God to open a door for me to have a roof over my head.
 
The appearance of evil, in Thessalonians that Paul is talking about has to do with manifested evil and not how something simply "looks" to someone else. Translations of the bible say to abstain from every "form of evil" that means to NOT engage in manifested evil. To avoid simply the "appearance" is a form of people bondage, IMHO. That's where the problem lies. Avoiding acts of evil is what this Scripture is talking about.

That is a very interesting insight.


Having had a male roommate before I'm going to say that God knew my heart in that situation...it was strictly a group of friends living together, separate rooms and all that. And I've known many Christian men and women who have lived together and had absolutely no issues.

Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.


This summer, I worked at an internship in another state, where we were told that housing would be provided, but the housing was one apartment, separate bedrooms, two men and one woman. I was not happy with the arrangement, but there was no way to get another apartment, availability-wise or financially.

I can say without any type of hesitation that there was absolutely nothing more than a platonic relationship between my peers and I. And while that in itself does not make a situation good, it is true that if anyone wanted to look in from the outside and make assumptions about my heart, my values or my standards, they would have been very much in the wrong.

Ultimately, I prayed to the Lord to change things, and the very next morning, out of the blue, an older woman offered me the guest house on her property at absolutely no charge. She saw that it wasn't a proper situation and took it upon herself to help me. She didn't judge or assume my heart was impure, she offered a solution.

I do think that men and women living together is improper and that people who find themselves in those situations should pray for the Lord to provide alternate arrangements. We should also remember though that sometimes a situation is just what it is and there is no point or godly edification in making oneself feel guilty about what other people are assuming is in your heart based on their imaginations.
 
That's the best thing you can do.... I wish you well.


Thank you everyone for your opinions. I'm still on the fence should a Christian woman/man live with the opposite sex and if it goes against God.

But I will leave the matter in God's hands; if I'm in a situation where I need a roommate or a place to live. I'm going to trust God to open a door for me to have a roof over my head.
 
This summer, I worked at an internship in another state, where we were told that housing would be provided, but the housing was one apartment, separate bedrooms, two men and one woman. I was not happy with the arrangement, but there was no way to get another apartment, availability-wise or financially.

I can say without any type of hesitation that there was absolutely nothing more than a platonic relationship between my peers and I.

And while that in itself does not make a situation good, it is true that if anyone wanted to look in from the outside and make assumptions about my heart, my values or my standards, they would have been very much in the wrong.

Ultimately, I prayed to the Lord to change things, and the very next morning, out of the blue, an older woman offered me the guest house on her property at absolutely no charge. She saw that it wasn't a proper situation and took it upon herself to help me. She didn't judge or assume my heart was impure, she offered a solution.

I do think that men and women living together is improper and that people who find themselves in those situations should pray for the Lord to provide alternate arrangements. We should also remember though that sometimes a situation is just what it is and there is no point or godly edification in making oneself feel guilty about what other people are assuming is in your heart based on their imaginations.

Good for you! It's obivous that God does not approve of this situation, and He changed it, because you sought Him to do so.

Christians, who say they have 'peace' about this living arrangement are forgetting that it is of their own 'free will' that God will not override, that allows them to do so. It's their choice, not God's.

Because of our 'higher calling', as Christians, we can't play the 'victim' when wer're judged upon the 'appearance' of impropriety. No matter how innocent we are, no matter how 'unfair' it is, it's not about others who judge us, for we've judged ourselves by where we place ourselves.

Each year, our office has a regional "Holiday" party and because it's held in a bar, I will not attend. I get 'flack' about it from my boss and several of my co-workers, but I stand my ground and I will not go. There are other Christians in my office who do attend, because it's expected of them to meet with the guests and to keep the network open.

I've explained to my boss and to my 'outter' network associates that I cannot attend an event that is against my personal convictions. They respect that. I simply refuse to be associated with a bar, let alone be 'seen' going in and out of one. I have a 'standard' to uphold.

As Christians, we are to refrain from the appearance of evil. If Jesus tells us that even a 'thought' of sin is no different than the actual 'act' of it itself, that it's the same as being active in the sin, than how much more is actually living in a situation that gives the appearance of sin, the very same as. That's how God sees it. No matter how innocent it may be to 'us' as humans, it's not to God.

We still have a choice to get out of situations which appear as transgressions. You made this choice and God honoured it.



No matter how 'innocent' or unintended our actions may be, we still have to take into account and own up to what we do; and that it is only by Grace that God let's us pass.
 
Why don't you instead provide a scripture that justifies it? Just because you lived this way doesn't justify it or make it right. It only shows a lax attitude in Christian values.

Those who have a true relationship with God would never consider placing themselves in a position to have their witness compromised.

Too many people are trying to re-do the image of God to fit what they choose to do or be in life.

If this is how folks choose to live than so be it. Just leave God out of it. It is a human decision and a living situation created by humans.

The worn out expression "God knows my heart' is not scripture, it's a cop out from accountabliity. It's time to get real and stop playing games with the sovereinty of God. We either honour Him or we don't. If there's something you want to do in life, then just do it. But don't try and put a fake cover over it, and say God is in it. He's not. He's quite clear on what He expects from us as His children. It's up to us to live up to it.


Why thank you for judging my relationship with God and attitude in Christian values. I'm so glad that you and God are close enough for you to be able to make that judgment.

Let's get real about the situation. If the choice is living with an unrelated male vs. living on the street or another unsavory situation then I'm positive God would rather a person live with the unrelated male. Maybe you have issues with lust or improper boundaries, but everyone else doesn't, it's up to those people in the situation to go to God and decide whether it would be ok for them. You don't know what God is in or isn't in since you're not Him so next time, if you have a response to me let it be from the word and not from you own mind and mouth. Thanks.
 
Good for you! It's obivous that God does not approve of this situation, and He changed it, because you sought Him to do so.

Christians, who say they have 'peace' about this living arrangement are forgetting that it is of their own 'free will' that God will not override, that allows them to do so. It's their choice, not God's.

Because of our 'higher calling', as Christians, we can't play the 'victim' when wer're judged upon the 'appearance' of impropriety. No matter how innocent we are, no matter how 'unfair' it is, it's not about others who judge us, for we've judged ourselves by where we place ourselves.

Each year, our office has a regional "Holiday" party and because it's held in a bar, I will not attend. I get 'flack' about it from my boss and several of my co-workers, but I stand my ground and I will not go. There are other Christians in my office who do attend, because it's expected of them to meet with the guests and to keep the network open.

I've explained to my boss and to my 'outter' network associates that I cannot attend an event that is against my personal convictions. They respect that. I simply refuse to be associated with a bar, let alone be 'seen' going in and out of one. I have a 'standard' to uphold.

As Christians, we are to refrain from the appearance of evil. If Jesus tells us that even a 'thought' of sin is no different than the actual 'act' of it itself, that it's the same as being active in the sin, than how much more is actually living in a situation that gives the appearance of sin, the very same as. That's how God sees it. No matter how innocent it may be to 'us' as humans, it's not to God.

We still have a choice to get out of situations which appear as transgressions. You made this choice and God honoured it.



No matter how 'innocent' or unintended our actions may be, we still have to take into account and own up to what we do; and that it is only by Grace that God let's us pass.
Excellent responses, Shimmie...as usual, you allow God to use you to bring forth the truth:yep:

Bless you, always!
 
Why thank you for judging my relationship with God and attitude in Christian values. I'm so glad that you and God are close enough for you to be able to make that judgment.

Let's get real about the situation. If the choice is living with an unrelated male vs. living on the street or another unsavory situation then I'm positive God would rather a person live with the unrelated male.

Maybe you have issues with lust or improper boundaries, but everyone else doesn't, it's up to those people in the situation to go to God and decide whether it would be ok for them. You don't know what God is in or isn't in since you're not Him so next time, if you have a response to me let it be from the word and not from you own mind and mouth. Thanks.

msa, Everything I've shared is from the word of God. He is not going to put a child of His in a situation of compromise or in the streets. People place themselves there by the choices they make.

Be real! You either trust God or you don't. That is from the word of God.

Now you still have yet to show in God's word where He'd lead any of His children to live in a compromised situation.

You cannot mislead others with your lax attitude with Christianity.
 
If you don't have a mane; if you don't have sharp teeth; if you don't have a long tail - you're not a lion no matter what you say.

If you don't have tires; if you don't have a motor; and if you don't have a steering wheel - you're not a car no matter you say.

If you can't carry a tune; and if you can't hit a note; and if your singing doesn't bless people - stick to the shower, because you're not a soloist no matter what you say.

Praise the Lord!
 
Excellent responses, Shimmie...as usual, you allow God to use you to bring forth the truth:yep:

Bless you, always!

The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.

Before you know it, there'll be Christians one after another followng suit; all because of the ones who say, it's okay.

It's NOT okay. Not just because if looks as sin; but 100% of these living situations become sin. For men DO become stimulated living with women. Their minds cannot help but go there. It's in their nature. As Jesus said, if a man looks upon a woman, he has already sinned in his heart.

Living in this enviroment only 'feeds' and waters those thoughts of his putting him in sin. The woman is in sin who 'creates' it, just by being there. Far too many go all the way to having sexual relations with each other.

Who would follow a Pastor who had a roommate of the opposite sex? What does that say about his reprsentation of Christ. It is a degraded representation of Christian values. What would be the point of honouring Marriage?

What is happening to living holy and blameless as God has called us to? There are so many imposters of our Faith and I refuse to sit back and fear what folks think of me for speaking up about it.

The Church is nothing but an imitator of the world. The dress code has gone to the gutter, there's no respect for sexual purity, no standard for upholding holiness and then folks want prayer to cover what they don't want to fix.

We had better get it together. The spots have grown into melanomas. And it's so unnecessary, that's what makes it all the more grieving to the Holy Spirit. The mindset of 'anything' goes, is so unnecessary when we serve such a loving God who will withhold NO good thing from us.

All that we ever need in within Him and He will not suffer His children to see lack, need or want. I can say this because I 'know' Him and I love Him with all of my heart.

To God be the glory and God will surely have His glory, no matter who or what tries to stand in His way.
 
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The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.

Before you know it, there'll Christians one after another followng suit; all because of the ones who say, it's okay. It's NOT okay.

Who would follow a Pastor who had a roommate of the opposite sex? What does that say about his reprsentation of Christ. It is a degraded representation of Christian values. What would be the point of honouring Marriage?

What is happening to living holy and blameless as God has called us to? There are so many imposters of our Faith and I refuse to sit back and fear what folks think of me for speaking up about it.

The Church is nothing but an imitator of the world. The dress code has gone to the gutter, there's no respect for sexual purity, no standard for upholding holiness and then folks want prayer to cover what they don't want to fix.

We had better get it together. The spots have grown into melanomas. And it's so unnecessary, that's what makes it all the more grieving to the Holy Spirit. The mindset of 'anything' goes, is so unnecessary when we serve such a loving God who will withhold NO good thing from us.

All that we ever need in within Him and He will not suffer His children to see lack, need or want. I can say this because I 'know' Him and I love Him with all of my heart.

To God be the glory and God will surely have His glory, no matter who or what tries to stand in His way.
The Lord will always get the glory!!!
 
Hi, it's my first time here. I'm not such an active(church-going) Christian lately but my beliefs are still here.

I don't think a man and a woman living together unmarried is a good idea. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Everything can seem okay but then you are alone with this guy all the time and suddenly he realizes you're a woman. This not to say anything about either person but the situation is not a good one to be in. Life is hard enough so why make it potentially more difficult for yourself?

My gut reaction is no it's not a good idea and I tend to think if you have to ask if something is wrong then it probably (not all the time) is .
 
Hi, it's my first time here. I'm not such an active(church-going) Christian lately but my beliefs are still here.

I don't think a man and a woman living together unmarried is a good idea. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Everything can seem okay but then you are alone with this guy all the time and suddenly he realizes you're a woman. This not to say anything about either person but the situation is not a good one to be in. Life is hard enough so why make it potentially more difficult for yourself?

My gut reaction is no it's not a good idea and I tend to think if you have to ask if something is wrong then it probably (not all the time) is .
Welcome and your post is on point:yep:
 
Hi, it's my first time here. I'm not such an active(church-going) Christian lately but my beliefs are still here.

I don't think a man and a woman living together unmarried is a good idea. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Everything can seem okay but then you are alone with this guy all the time and suddenly he realizes you're a woman. This not to say anything about either person but the situation is not a good one to be in. Life is hard enough so why make it potentially more difficult for yourself?

My gut reaction is no it's not a good idea and I tend to think if you have to ask if something is wrong then it probably (not all the time) is .
:welcome3: Precious One. Your "Jesus" shines brightly from within you.

And not just because of your reply in this thread. It's simply shows :Rose:
 
The Lord will always get the glory!!!

The Angels bow before Him...

Heaven and Earth, adore Him...

He is Jesus, Our Lord...

How do we choose to represent Him?

We are not of this world; we do not live as they do.

We have a God who is Mighty to save and to provide for us.

I can 'hear' Joshua all throughout this thread saying,

"Choose you this day, whom you will serve; as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
 
If this helps just one... To God be the Glory :Rose:

http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0001505.cfm

"Flirting with Temptation"

DEAR BOUNDLESS ANSWERS

What do you think about Christian singles living with members of the opposite sex?

I have two friends (a man and a woman) who work for a college campus ministry organization, and live in a house together.
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All told, there are four young men and the woman living in this house. My male friend has a girlfriend, but the rest of the young men and the woman are all single.

I say that unmarried men and women should not live together, whether they are dating, cohabitating or just roommates.

I seem to be the only one in my Bible study with this opinion.

Since my friends are merely roommates, and not romantically involved, everyone else seems to think their living arrangement is acceptable. I say it's not, since it is not a good witness and goes against what we all profess about couples not living together before marriage.

What are your thoughts?

REPLY

You are dead on. It is a very poor witness for Christian singles of the opposite sex — in ministry no less! — to be living in the same house together.

They are damaging their credibility as Christians and especially leaders in ministry.

What if a single young guy and girl who attend their campus ministry meetings want to move in together "just as roommates"? What will their counsel be?

"Well, the two of you shouldn't do that, because it looks bad, but if you can find about 3 or 4 other guys or girls it's OK."

Huh?

Christians who believe it's OK to have opposite-sex roommates or housemates (we'll leave cohabiting for another time) have made two very significant mistakes in their thinking.

One, they have agreed with the feminists, who for 40 years have tried to get us to believe that, outside a few plumbing issues, men and women are essentially the same, that there is nothing uniquely masculine about men, nor feminine about women.

We can be great buddies, fight alongside each other in combat, share public restrooms, and live together!

This flies in the face of scripture.

Men and women aren't the same. To throw a girl in the mix of a bunch of guys living together, and think it's essentially the same as throwing another guy in there, is a victory for the feminists.

"Oh, we won't be tempted sexually, we're just friends!" And all the feminists said, "Amen!" (Of course the feminists wouldn't care so much about temptation — casual hook ups are like shaking hands).

Two, as Christians these young people have a responsibility to live in such a way that it benefits and builds up others. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says, "'All things are lawful,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful,' but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor."

In a college setting, where the hook-up culture is doing everything it can to tear down healthy relationships between guys and girls, Christians should be making every effort to live as counter-cultural to that as possible. Opposite-sex roommates send a weak message to a world that desperately needs a salt-saturated standard.

I hope you'll keep urging them to change their living arrangements, for their sake, for the sake of those who are watching them, and for the Lord's sake, who commands us to "do all to the glory of God."

Blessings,

JOHN THOMAS
* * *
If you have a question you'd like John to consider for this column, please send it to [email protected].

--------------------------

When I saw the title of this article it just 'said it all', about the topic of this thread.

This kind of living arrangement is truly, Flirting with temptation...God says to give 'no place' to the devil; no place means no place, least satan gets the advantage of you.
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I don't want to see anyone become mislead by the misconceptions of this issue I cannot imagine how any Christian could not see the harm in this style of living. I simply cannot. Why encourage an epedemic which will bring more damage to the health of the Church.


It can never be said that I contrbuted to the support of this abasement to the Body of Christ. If someone chooses this life, than it's their personal choice; however, they cannot say God made the choice for them. For anyone to say it's of God makes it all the more dangerous, for it misleads others to follow suit.

Isaiah 7:8 says that this shall not expand its boundaries and so it shall not, be spread any further, in the Church of our Lord Jesus Christ, deemed Holy and Blameless.
 
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msa, Everything I've shared is from the word of God. He is not going to put a child of His in a situation of compromise or in the streets. People place themselves there by the choices they make.

Be real! You either trust God or you don't. That is from the word of God.

Now you still have yet to show in God's word where He'd lead any of His children to live in a compromised situation.

You cannot mislead others with your lax attitude with Christianity.


Just because my attitude is different than yours does not make it "lax". And I'm definitely not misleading anyone, just giving my opinion on the question that was asked.

Anyway, like I said before, the people involved have to go to God themselves and see if the situation would be appropriate for them. Some people will be convicted about it, and some won't. It depends on the people and the situation. I'm not saying just because it's not in the bible it's "right", just saying that it isn't wrong across the board either.

I currently still live with a man who is not related to me. Am I sinning? Nope. I was lucky to have a family take me in when I had no other place to go. That has nothing to do with not trusting God...it's just the way the situation is. Everyone's situation is different and just because others might look on it unfavorably, doesn't mean God will.
 
I also agree that it is individual between those people and God

I say this because the man I was just with , Godly man (whatever that is, because he did love God but still just a man) right after we started dating all hell broke loose in his life, lost his job, fought for something like 4-5 months to get unemployment or a job, he lost his place, and had nowhere to go, I was turmoiled ALOT about the whole situation, alot of pain, but I took him in, it was not easy, but there was no sin, he wouldnt ever go there, and yes he WAS that strong, and it was all good for me anyway, because it gave me reprieve to gather myself again without that even being a worry or test or temptation, it was just understood, we aint going there. He did get on his feet, he did pay to stay here, was it stressful at times? YES , but not from temptation so much than just having someone stay with me. at times it was great , the companionship, but towards the end it was too much, again not the temptation, but the stress, so he left , and paid me up later. he was my friend for ten years on/off before this and had blessed me in the past , not sure if us staying together destroyed us or not, probably many factors, cant even say all is said and done, I just dont know, but there was no sin and he needed the help and I got BLESSED in return.

We spoke with another couple now married 26 years and have their own church and 26 years ago he had to take her in before they got married and they did not sin either

the church turned on them, she told me there is a story in the bible , cant remember who it was, where a woman stayed in a man's house before marriage , Esther? not sure

but whatever in my case, there was no sin. would I do it again though? NOPE!!!

But it was what it was and I have no regrets now
 
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Thanks for this scripture. Right on time for this thread AND some other things that have been in my head and on my heart lately. Thanks.
I agree with this

my situation was allowed and did work for both of us for a time

but when the season was up, it was up

we were warned through prophetic word, 'Got trouble, Get Married or Move out'

Funny, tho, through being around him that much right now I cannot imagine that man to be my husband , time and God will reveal. I am no longer jumping anywhere

I also was in a place where I desperately needed to have someone around, because being real I needed to gather my strength to stay away from my ex, I was in a very 'broken' place, so I was helping him and he was helping me, he read the word to me nightly, I also had health issues , he helped me alot with that too, he also blessed me more than I asked money wise in the end.....so unexpected extra blessing

it was what it was, maybe not the ultimate 'best' situation, but it all worked out best I suppose

again I would not pick the situation again, and was in turmoil over it in the first place, hard not to extend a hand to someone who gave you their whole arm to save u at God's prompting before, like you know you dont know where you would be without what they did for you..., but now they need? umm kinda hard to turn your back on that...... but we were both praying through and God made the way out:yep:

But I would never judge another's situation due to what I walked through (Well I wouldnt have anyway)

Because you just dont know what God is doing
 
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This is sad. With all due respect to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, when they sin. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line. :look:
Matthew 7:1-5
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

What's critical is not the judging but HOW it's done. If we're not careful, we can easily become an accuser of the brethren, with all the best intentions. Anytime we judge, it should be for the edification of others and for the glory of God, not to beat them down. It may be a cliche to some: but God knows our hearts. I'll never tire of saying that, because it is the truth.

I'd rather play with God than with the devil. At least, God will zap me with some retribution in the form of a good dose of the Holy Spirit for playing with him like that. :laugh: He will still love us, no matter what.
The devil, though, would just smile and not say a Word. He doesn't have to....
 
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This is sad. With all due respect to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, when they sin. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line. :look:
Matthew 7:1-5
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

What's critical is not the judging but HOW it's done. If we're not careful, we can easily become an accuser of the brethren, with all the best intentions. Anytime we judge, it should be for the edification of others and for the glory of God. It may be a cliche to some: but God knows our hearts. I'll never tire of saying that, because it is the truth.

I'd rather play with God than with the devil. At least, God will zap me with some retribution in the form of a good dose of the Holy Spirit for playing with him like that. :laugh: He will still love us, no matter what.
The devil, though, would just smile and not say a Word. He doesn't have to....
You are right, it is God and only God that knows! and can make a call on any situation, it is he and ONLY he that knows the 'inner' working of our hearts

someone mentioned this is all about purposes of 'appearance' and that in itself being bondage, I fully agree with that also

we need not be pleasing in the sight of man/people but only in the sight of God and AGAIN ONLY HE AND HE ALONE SEES AND KNOWS ALL

the end!
 
This is sad. With all due respect to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, when they sin. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line. :look:
Matthew 7:1-5
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

What's critical is not the judging but HOW it's done. If we're not careful, we can easily become an accuser of the brethren, with all the best intentions. Anytime we judge, it should be for the edification of others and for the glory of God, not to beat them down. It may be a cliche to some: but God knows our hearts. I'll never tire of saying that, because it is the truth.

I'd rather play with God than with the devil. At least, God will zap me with some retribution in the form of a good dose of the Holy Spirit for playing with him like that. :laugh: He will still love us, no matter what.
The devil, though, would just smile and not say a Word. He doesn't have to....
ok more to say

I dont understand how people can be delivered out of SO MUCH, I mean like total darkness and/or even operating in it , to walking with the LORD

then come down SO HARD on others

how do they forget the love, grace and mercy shown/given to them

or that God knew THEIR hearts all along while they were lost

baffling to me totally:sad:
 
I'm not bible scholar but I know God tells Christians to not to appear of doing wrong bc it may trip non-christian's up.I know that I have done the whole shacking phase and even when it got to the end of just staying together it may have made some people question my faith.
 
Just because my attitude is different than yours does not make it "lax". And I'm definitely not misleading anyone, just giving my opinion on the question that was asked.

Anyway, like I said before, the people involved have to go to God themselves and see if the situation would be appropriate for them. Some people will be convicted about it, and some won't. It depends on the people and the situation. I'm not saying just because it's not in the bible it's "right", just saying that it isn't wrong across the board either.

I currently still live with a man who is not related to me. Am I sinning? Nope. I was lucky to have a family take me in when I had no other place to go. That has nothing to do with not trusting God...it's just the way the situation is. Everyone's situation is different and just because others might look on it unfavorably, doesn't mean God will.

I also agree that it is individual between those people and God

I say this because the man I was just with , Godly man (whatever that is, because he did love God but still just a man) right after we started dating all hell broke loose in his life, lost his job, fought for something like 4-5 months to get unemployment or a job, he lost his place, and had nowhere to go, I was turmoiled ALOT about the whole situation, alot of pain, but I took him in, it was not easy, but there was no sin, he wouldnt ever go there, and yes he WAS that strong, and it was all good for me anyway, because it gave me reprieve to gather myself again without that even being a worry or test or temptation, it was just understood, we aint going there. He did get on his feet, he did pay to stay here, was it stressful at times? YES , but not from temptation so much than just having someone stay with me. at times it was great , the companionship, but towards the end it was too much, again not the temptation, but the stress, so he left , and paid me up later. he was my friend for ten years on/off before this and had blessed me in the past , not sure if us staying together destroyed us or not, probably many factors, cant even say all is said and done, I just dont know, but there was no sin and he needed the help and I got BLESSED in return.

We spoke with another couple now married 26 years and have their own church and 26 years ago he had to take her in before they got married and they did not sin either

the church turned on them, she told me there is a story in the bible , cant remember who it was, where a woman stayed in a man's house before marriage , Esther? not sure

but whatever in my case, there was no sin. would I do it again though? NOPE!!!

But it was what it was and I have no regrets now
tThese are very gentle words ...

msa, I'm sorry that you were without a home. That's very unhappy place to be in life; not knowing where you are going to sleep in peace, let alone live.

I feel sad for both of you. The two of you had some very sensitive situations. As much as it seems right, we cannot confuse God's compassion and call it His permission. There is a major difference; a difference where we all as Christians have to be cautious of . If we don't, we'll live a life of compromise and make excuses for one thing after another, which we know is not right.

These living situations no matter how 'right' they seem to you, are not right to God. These are human decisions which both of you made as a result of human errors. God did not create the situations that lead to where you are; neither did He lead you to the decisions you made. These are your human choices, not His.

Irresistable, you were not responsible for your friend. God would not have set you up like that. As women, we tend to use the scenerio of events, to justify why we step in to help a man. The reason is that we care about him. Period! It was still not your responsibility to let him live with you. One prayer, "God please provide for him, to keep us from sin', would have solved it.

When something is wrong, it's wrong. God is not schizophrenic, He doesn't waver from one decision to another. He is fixed, completely and totally established in what He says and He is faithful to His word, eternally. How else can He be called faithful, trustworthy? He would not be God if He did not uphold His word or His integrety.

Over and Over, this fact will never change, that each of your situations are a result from a human decision, not God's. His 'allowing' these situations is only of His Mercies upon us; it is simply Him not overriding your free will.

When we're in trouble, our emotions take over and we will do whatever seems right to us at that time. There seems to be no other solution, yet God still has not changed. The 'peace' that one feels is not because God approves, it is because He cannot get through to you at this point of your decision. Yet God does not 'allow' us to stay there. It's not His will neither from the onset or the duration of the situation.

So many have fallen because of their 'human decisions'. In God's word, there is one example after another. God made His instructions quite clear to King Saul, yet Saul yielded to his human decision and lost his peace with God.

Sarah made a human decision which has cost the lives of multiple millions, even up to this day.

Esau made a human decision which changed the order of his birthright.

Today's war in the Middle East would not be if if were not for these two who made a very critical human decision.

Neither of you can say that God lead you to this. And it is dangerous for either of you to share this as a testimony, to 'prove' that you were able to this way and not succomb to temptation. That's misleading as a witness to Christ. Others will follow thinking because you did it, they can too. It's dangerously leading other Christians to 'flirt with temptation'.

This is totally against the will of God. For it will in turn go against what God has proclaimed. That He leads us not into temptation; and delivers us from evil. God does not play games. He does not 'dangle' sin in front of us to tempt us, satan does that, not God.

Christians do not live as the world does. We do not have to. There is always another way which is God's way. Even when we 'think' there isn't. When our emotions are caught up, it opens the door for satan to very cleaverly come in and lead us astray.

None of 'us' can afford to say God 's approval was in this; for we be responsible for others, lead to do the same, leading them to fall; for it is truly a dangerous trap for a sexual encounter outside of marriage waiting to happen.

You know, sometimes women allow themselves into this because they want so much to have the presence of a man in their lives. Men are just that good to be around. There is a wonderful 'difference' about the presence of a man in our home. Some women allow this, for it's the closest they feel that they will ever come to living with a man.

The bottomline is whenever we are in trouble, and the immediate solution of a situation is not 'ideal', we know it's not of God. It is a human decision that we have His grace and mercies upon.

God does not approve of these living arrangements. That's not His plan for our lives. We can't whitewash it; we have to admit this not only to ourselves, but to Him so that He can deliver us into His Perfect Plan.

This is not a lecture neither a put down. It's an embrace from the heart of God for each of His daughters.

The two of you deserve so much better. :Rose:
 
Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.

In my understanding : It's not an ideal situation !
It is biblically wrong ! Yes, there is scripture if we want to consider those references !

I also understand that being a Christian is not a point, but a journey. We are at different steps. We have to witness and let the Holy Spirit of God do His job. Let's be a witness of Jesus-Christ for each and other in a positive way.

We don't have to plan a situation like this. But, if it happens, we do pray and God will provide another way, as always, sometimes with less charge or no charge. God is good !

I think that it's wrong to be pleased in a such situation by saying : God knows my heart. Do you know what the man has to fight to not covet ?

We (women) can be strong, but we have to care about the man and others, yes. How do we know that there is no sin (covet) from the man ???

Mat. 5.28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Rom. 7.7 … for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. 7.8 But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence… 7.14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 7.15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
7.23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Rom. 13.9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
13.13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. 13.14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

Ja. 2.14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works?…
4.17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

1Jo. 2.10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.
2.15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 2.16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 2.17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Matt. 26.41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Rom. 14.13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
 
Shimmie its not a testimony to not sinning

its just a fact it was not sin

I cannot say God told me to do this or that, and did not say that, but I did what I did and its done

and nothing separated me from his love

what disturbs me most about your post is how you said or say things like 'God is not schizophrenic, you say that against us as though we think or are saying he is

I would just be careful with what you choose to judge or how and wording

dont know what else to say

btw we did say that prayer and there was no sin



other than i didnt post to have the whole situation analyzed or judged

I dont think anyone is on the throne with him to say how God will work things out for someone

As I posted , I have no major issues with my situation

it was what it was and I will not sit here and justify myself to anyone

I only need to do that with God

love and blessings girl :kiss:
 
Crown,

There are lot of things we do that's not pleasing to God.:look:

A man can lust after a women ANYTIME, ANYWHERE. He doesn't have to be living with her to do so.

And women aren't brainless beings. To insinuate that women can look at themselves as completely incapable of saying NO to a man is laughable. It takes two to Tango.

But the Scriptures you post are dead on ... :yep: avoiding those situations (applying wisdom) is likely best. We can trust God, no matter our circumstance, to make a way for us out of compromising situations.



In my understanding : It's not an ideal situation !
It is biblically wrong ! Yes, there is scripture if we want to consider those references !

I also understand that being a Christian is not a point, but a journey. We are at different steps. We have to witness and let the Holy Spirit of God do His job. Let's be a witness of Jesus-Christ for each and other in a positive way.

We don't have to plan a situation like this. But, if it happens, we do pray and God will provide another way, as always, sometimes with less charge or no charge. God is good !

I think that it's wrong to be pleased in a such situation by saying : God knows my heart. Do you know what the man has to fight to not covet ?

We (women) can be strong, but we have to care about the man and others, yes. How do we know that there is no sin (covet) from the man ???

Mat. 5.28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Rom. 7.7 … for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. 7.8 But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence… 7.14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 7.15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
7.23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Rom. 13.9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
13.13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. 13.14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

Ja. 2.14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works?…
4.17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

1Jo. 2.10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.
2.15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 2.16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 2.17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Matt. 26.41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Rom. 14.13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
 
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In my understanding : It's not an ideal situation !
It is biblically wrong ! Yes, there is scripture if we want to consider those references !

I also understand that being a Christian is not a point, but a journey. We are at different steps. We have to witness and let the Holy Spirit of God do His job. Let's be a witness of Jesus-Christ for each and other in a positive way.

We don't have to plan a situation like this. But, if it happens, we do pray and God will provide another way, as always, sometimes with less charge or no charge. God is good !

I think that it's wrong to be pleased in a such situation by saying : God knows my heart. Do you know what the man has to fight to not covet ?

We (women) can be strong, but we have to care about the man and others, yes. How do we know that there is no sin (covet) from the man ???

Mat. 5.28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Rom. 7.7 … for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. 7.8 But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence… 7.14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 7.15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
7.23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Rom. 13.9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
13.13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. 13.14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

Ja. 2.14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works?…
4.17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

1Jo. 2.10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.
2.15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 2.16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 2.17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Matt. 26.41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Rom. 14.13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
I do agree with most of what you just said in your personal note :yep:

except the bolded , this could happen in a man's heart walking down the street, it could happen whilst dating

there is no way we could be wholey responsible for what takes place in a man's heart. God did not ask that of us

I even posted openly that I was in a broken state, and hurting deeply and in alot of fear at the time, so I am sure my decision was based on 'flesh' (pain) and wanting out of it, not lust, it was not the right way out of the pain, but for the time I was fooling myself or too weak, I DO BELIEVE GOD KNEW THIS, long long before I did. I can surely safely say he did indeed know my heart :yep: and it was wounded

I was running for safety in a way, the wrong way, but at the time, hey I just wasnt ready to face certain things certain ways and was to wounded/weak/afraid

I cant and dont ask anyone to understand that, and dont care if they do (not directed at you) but its a fact that I know my God knows is true


eta the bolded part of your post being this.....

"We (women) can be strong, but we have to care about the man and others, yes. How do we know that there is no sin (covet) from the man ???

Mat. 5.28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
 
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The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.

This phrase can be applied to so many scenarios, including the turn this thread has taken. :nono: :nono:
 
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