Making Assumptions About One's Spouse..

[Kalia1]

My husband and I were having a conversation about why a person makes "assumptions" about their partner when they aren't warranted and %99.9 inaccurate.

My husband thinks it's a trust issue while I think perhaps there is an emotional disconnect between the two.

Yes we are called to ask that which we don't know. So why would one simply assume and then bring discord due to defending their position of assumption when they are clearly wrong?

What do you think causes a person to do this?

 

[biznesswmn]

Past behavior or past experiences w others?

I think there has to b some frame of reference

 

[PeaceFlow]

Can you give an example of an assumption you were talking about?

I think it's common occurrence in humans and I have been taught that its symptomatic of not asking enough questions in relationship interactions.

I suppose when people don't ask questions, then the only thing left is to fill in the blanks. Only way someone can fill in the blanks is by using their own experience/psyche which can end up in projection and an active imagination .

Of course this depends on the type of assumption. However, if we asked questions more there would be less space for assumptions, I definitely believe that. Improper communication.

 

[Kalia1]

biznesswmn- Are you saying the way one has been treated by others could cause one to automatically make assumptions about another?

Vanthie- Here's an example: During a conversation a question arises about a topic which is sensitive to the listener.

The listener assumes the question is being asked to demean their character. The listener never answers the question and insists on asking the questioner "Why" was the particular question asked?

The questioner states it's just a question yet the listener "assumes" it's much more.

 

[biznesswmn]

I agree w vanthie

Yes thats what im sayg but not just others treatg him a certain way. Could b him knowg his motive in the past and assumg yours is the same

In your response to vanthie u kinda proved my point. U said the listener was sensitve to the topic but why? Bcuz somthg happnd to make listener sensitv and now listenr can assume that your dealg w question is going to create a similar, probably unpleasant experience. Askg more questions can be a bit difficult initially bcuz the first response is to b defensv, tryg to protect against the unpleasant experience. I do belv its possbl to learn to trust and put assumptions to the side but it takes time to develop, basd on how deeply that past experience affectd listener.

U may also consider examining your motiv for askg the question. If listenr is indeed sensitv to the topic there may b somthg u arent aware of as well.