Major Setback

diamonddollfla

diamonddollfla

Member
:wallbash:

It was totally my fault. Long story short I am back to ear length from almost bra strap length and depressed.

I went and got braids today so I wouldn't have to look at it anymore. I keep telling myself it is only hair and it will grow back and maybe just maybe it will be thick like it used to be .

My SO who loves long hair says he isn't upset anymore and it is what it is and can't be changed and for me to stop worrying about it and his feelings about it but that really doesn't make me feel better.:sad:
Wondering if he is looking at me now like ewwww.

I called my best friend and she was shocked at first, then laughed and told me that was hilarious and then tried to tell me my cut was probably cute cause I can carry off a short do. Won't be talking to her again!:censored:
Now I realized why I stopped talking to her 15 years ago.
 
diamonddollfla said:
:wallbash:

It was totally my fault. Long story short I am back to ear length from almost bra strap length and depressed.

I went and got braids today so I wouldn't have to look at it anymore. I keep telling myself it is only hair and it will grow back and maybe just maybe it will be thick like it used to be .

My SO who loves long hair says he isn't upset anymore and it is what it is and can't be changed and for me to stop worrying about it and his feelings about it but that really doesn't make me feel better.:sad:
Wondering if he is looking at me now like ewwww.

I called my best friend and she was shocked at first, then laughed and told me that was hilarious and then tried to tell me my cut was probably cute cause I can carry off a short do. Won't be talking to her again!:censored:
Now I realized why I stopped talking to her 15 years ago.
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:bighug:
​

I'm sorry about your setback! I'm sure if you did it once, you can do it again! :yep:
 
I'm sorry to hear this! It it hard to think about how it will grow back because all that seems to matter is right now. You were probably right in getting braids, hopefully that will take your mind off of it. And when you take your braids out I'm sure you'll already be seeing good growth. :yep:
 
I'm really sorry to hear about your setback.

Try not to be too mad at your friend...most folks IRL are not as into hair as we are so she really may not understand how upsetting it really is for you.
 
It sounds like your friend may have been trying to inject humor into the situation to lighten things..maybe?? So don't be too hard on her just yet.
 
So sorry to hear that this has happened to you :hug2: What caused you to cut it to ear length? I know you're depressed now, but I'm sure with the knowledge you have received from LHCF, you'll be able to reach BSL in no time. We're here for you girl!
 
Thank you soooo much for your words of encouragement. I need those words so much I am in a really low place right now.

I'm sure if you did it once, you can do it again!
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My bf said the same thing yesterday.

You bet I will!

What happened?...not going there but I will say it was not a result of any products or styling aids. :) Just stupidity!
 
Oh goodness, I would probably pass out. I'm sorry to hear that, but at least you're in a good place (here) to get you back on the right track and it sounds like you have lots of support. I wish you luck.
 
Diamonddollfla you and your boyfriend are upset about the hair loss and I can understand why for many reasons. However, you will feel the pain more and for a longer period of time because it was your hair, your boyfriend just appreciated the way you looked in long hair. Growing your hair that long was a great accomplishment that took time and yes you are going to have to start from scratch basically but this is okay. Bear in mind that at least you can grow it back. I have friends who lost hair due to sicknesses such as cancer and they cannot grow their hair back, nor do they have natural ear-length hair as you do. They would love to have even that.:sad: I am not trying to run a guilt trip on you at all but I just want you to understand that you lost something you enjoyed but only for a little while; you will get it back again and perhaps even better than before.

Another thing is that this weave your getting may or may not help you deal with this situation. Do not be surprised if it does nothing to truly cheer you up. Keep in mind that you are getting it for a purpose, which is to grow back your real hair and not simply because you need to replace the hair long hair you once had because nothing is as good as the real thing, especially since you had it before. Your boyfriend is dealing with it great. He admits he misses it but he is not flipping out over it and he is looking at the positve which is, you will grow it back, you did it before. You just need a little time to come to terms with it. After all, a woman's hair is her crown and glory, so I understand your plight.

Finally, as for your so-called friend, you stopped speaking to her for a reason. I am not going to jump on the "she is trying to make you feel better" train because it is clear to me from your brief post that you are truly distraught over your hair loss so you had to have been even more open with her so making light of it was not the right thing to do at that given moment. You probably detect a little hate there so follow your gut feeling. You did refrain from conversing with her for a long time and I am sure you had good reason to do so. I think you forgot but now she just reminded you of why.

Last tip, I dont know if it worked for you but it is surely working for me and I am talking about Surge Revitalizer 14. Maybe you can find it in a BSS near you but if not go to Ebay. They are asking quite a bit for a once $5.00 product but it is worth it if you want to accomplish this goal. Grow that hair back girl and keep us updated. Also, if that is you in the pic, then I must agree with your friend to an extent and say you have a pretty face, so I know you are rocking that short hair cut.:grin:

GROW ON GIRLFRIEND, GROW ON!!!!!!!!!:gorgeous:
 
This happened to a good friend of mine. She went from BSL to an inch of hair. She let her hair matt up and make a large knot and she had to hack it out... It was uneven and she had to cut more of it and just turned it into a BC....

It will grow back :)
 
I AM SO SORRY about this. I truly feel for you & believe me I would be just as distraught. Perhaps, now that you have already proven the lengths you can reach, now maybe you can prove how quickly you can return to those lengths & shock the mess out of everyone in that way. I truly believe that one day LHCF will evolve from proving we can grow the hair to showing how fast we can as well. You are already armed with the best of LHCF so don't waste another second, start growing!

:grouphug3:We are all here for you!
 
I am sorry this happened but just give your hair some TLC and it will grow back in time. I can't imagine how you feel I would probably be in tears so your friend doesn't seem like she was too consoling. I would stick w/styles and methods that will help you retain as much length as possible and limit heat use.
 
Bawling now but after this no more! :)
snowbal2200
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That is what I am feeling totally. I did use the Surge 14, wild growth oil and vitamins when I was growing. I think they all did their part of it especially the Surge. I will go to the BSS today to see if they have some. Thank you!

I am embarrassed by the cause of this setback but I keep telling myself now it is what it is and I can only move forward from this point. I am absolutely sure it is not something someone else would do to themselves on purpose unless you were me carrying my baggage.

Thank you everyone for the kind words you will never know HOW MUCH they have and will help me in the future when I look back at this point in my new journey.
 
diamonddollfla said:
Bawling now but after this no more! :) That is what I am feeling totally. I did use the Surge 14, wild growth oil and vitamins when I was growing. I think they all did their part of it especially the Surge. I will go to the BSS today to see if they have some. Thank you!

I am embarrassed by the cause of this setback but I keep telling myself now it is what it is and I can only move forward from this point. I am absolutely sure it is not something someone else would do to themselves on purpose unless you were me carrying my baggage.

Thank you everyone for the kind words you will never know HOW MUCH they have and will help me in the future when I look back at this point in my new journey.
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Ummm you kinda set this up, but I want to make sure I got it right. From what you said it was a unwanted self-inflicted setback....

SO DID YOU GET INTO A FIGHT, AND SHE PULLED YOUR HAIR OUT?:blush:

Just curious....
 
ohhh.......I'm thinking of plenty hilarious scenarios, but I know you are feeling low OP, so I won't card you lol. We're all here for you still and will be when you are back at BSL in no time
 
diamonddollfla said:
Bawling now but after this no more! :) That is what I am feeling totally. I did use the Surge 14, wild growth oil and vitamins when I was growing. I think they all did their part of it especially the Surge. I will go to the BSS today to see if they have some. Thank you!

I am embarrassed by the cause of this setback but I keep telling myself now it is what it is and I can only move forward from this point. I am absolutely sure it is not something someone else would do to themselves on purpose unless you were me carrying my baggage.

Thank you everyone for the kind words you will never know HOW MUCH they have and will help me in the future when I look back at this point in my new journey.
Click to expand...

Believe me, I guarantee that whatever you did, someone here in the forum has done...probably more than once! I can understand though about being embarrased about the situation, moreover you're entitled to your privacy.

I'm no mind reader, but I believe that you puposefully cut your hair off. If that is the case, you're not alone. I've done so myself, only that I've never gotten even close to BSL to really get depressed about it afterwards. I cut mine off because of frustrations about what others said about my hair. When others don't believe or support your efforts it can really do a number on your psyche, that's why I'm so glad I found LHCF to help me through my hair journey. Everyone used to tell me my hair would never grow over your shoulders, that Black women in general could never grow long hair, that only mixed chicks could have a chance at getting long hair. When I told them of my goal for waistlength, they laughed and asked why would I want to put myself through such torment because it would never happen. People can be cruel and mean at times and sometimes a lapse in judgement can lead us to do things which we later regret - we are human after all and have powerful emotions and feelings.

Even if that's not the case, know that there are many people here that understand how much your hair means to you and are willing to help you along your hair journey, or just listen if you want to vent.
 
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i'm sure you bf isn't looking at you like, "ewww". there has to be more to your relationship than how he views you with long hair. he has reassured you that he loves and is attracted to you regardless. focus on treating your hair with the same care you you gave your longer hair. also, take whatever happened as a lesson learnt so the next time round won't make the same mistakes.

take some time to cool off and come to terms with what happened before pushing your friend away. people who have care about you sometimes say silly things that they don't necessarily mean. her laughing doesn't mean she was relishing in your misery.
 
lovenharmony said:
Believe me, I guarantee that whatever you did, someone here in the forum has done...probably more than once! I can understand though about being embarrased about the situation, moreover you're entitled to your privacy.

.
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yup:yep: and girl i can tell you that i have lost many heads of hair... so many that i stop believing that they were impossible to keep. when people would compliment my hair i would think - wait til you seem me in a few months, it'll be gone.
i've done neglect, i've done stupid, i've done trying something new - i could go on and on, one time, i think this was by far the worse, i tried a new sensative scalp relaxers - years ago, when there were no sensative scalp relaxers and it burned my scalp so bad, that all i had was one big scab. no kidding... i looked like i was wearing a wig - that was until, my hair fell out ofcourse. so girl, dont be embarrased, not here. unless you tell us you..... cant think of anything you can say that would shock us - dry your tears girl cuz that hair will grow back! take great care of the hair that you have and take pictures cuz you will laugh at this your self one day. believe me you will.
 
oh and i forgot to say -
go on girl and rock that ear length haircut - buy yourself some new earrings, a new alfit or two for the new look. maybe some lipstick if you wear it, and make it an all around new look. rock it till it grows back! remember, whenever a door closes a better one opens!
 
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