Look what she did to my baby's hair.....cry, mad, angry!! I NEED HELP!!!

[DragonPearl]

I am sorry, but this is what happens to too many little black girls. People don't know how or don't want to take the time to care for their hair properly, and they end up half bald, thinking their hair can't grow.

Your daughter is so pretty.

 

[newflowers]

I have family in the military and have an idea of how difficult being away for that reason can be.

If your daughter lives anywhere remotely close to Long Beach, CA, send me a pm. We can meet this weekend, and I will help you with your daughter's hair if you are comfortable with me doing so.

 

[Demi27]

I don't have any advice to add but I just wanted to say that's a doggone shame. I am so sorry about your baby's hair.

 

[drasgrl]

The poor girl .

 

[Platinum]

OMG, I love this site! This is an example of true sisterhood. I love how the sisters are giving such great advice; even offering to help with lil mama's hair.I love you guys! I'm serious, if you need me to take that ride, PM me.


ST, you and your beautiful daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. Please let her know that she is a beautiful princess and her hair will grow back quickly. I can't wait to see her progress pics.

 

[Honi]

I'm shocked and angry for you. WTF was she thinking???!!! What did the ***** say to all this destruction? Just nurture her hair and never let your cousin near her EVER! Is there anyone else you can trust to do your hair while you are gone?

 

[mssophia]

First, thank you for trusting in your LHCF family to share, cry and vent. Next, thank you for your service to our country and lastly, thank you for your grace under extreme anger and frustration.

I have had the task of helping to restore damaged hair to children in the past, the last one I have had since she was 11 and is now 16 with APL hair. I agree with the box braids in the very near future.

I also recommend teaching this beautiful child how to massage her hair at night before she goes to bed. Have her lightly use the balls of her fingers to get between the braids and move in tiny circles not lingering too long in any one spot. This will increase the blood flow to the follicles, promoting growth and strength. Another lady suggested using a suflur 8 spray to maintain nutrients to the scalp as well.

• What to do while you are there--lay your hands on her head and bless her beauty. There is definite power in the touch. I am 5th generation of beauticians and was taught by my grandmother to use the palm of my hand to smooth down unruly hair, promote shine and growth.
• Take your time and feel all of her hair to see where the damage is most prevalent.
• You can also do a strand test to see if all the porosity (natural elasticity) is gone from the hair, aka damage, by taking a section and twisting it.
• If hairs stick out like a Christmas tree, then there is serious breakage that is continuing.
• Also run your index finger and thumb up this twisted shaft to see how much moisture is still there. The more hair that pushes back up, the more moisture is needed to be restored.

Do co-wash/deep condition the hair to replenish moisture it the hair is really pushing back up the twisted shaft test.

If the hair is sticking out like the Christmas tree example--treat with a protein to strengthen.

This should help until you can get the hair shaped up a little and braided.

I am believing and speaking renewed glorious tresses to your darling little girl and see her hair better than restored.

Be blessed and MORE HAIR!!!

Michelle

 

[cutenaynay]

Yo that is messed up!she is such a cutey and she look sweet too!I don't even know where to begin with thcousin situation I think everybody else said everything I was thinking. But she's gonna grow her hair back the way it was don't worry! Just by applying everything that everyone said she'll be straight! God bless her and you

 

[fluffylocks]

Oh my goodness! Her hair should have been 3" longer!

Please post your state/city....I know theres someone who would come weekly, or please look in the salon section for a good stylist.

Im so sad.

I cant style hair that good, but i really wish i could care for it weekly and even check on her because that situation is foul.

 

[Lexib]

What did the ***** say to all this destruction?

That's my question too - is she apologetic for what she did or is she brushing it off thinking your daughter just looks "normal" now...the way waaaaay too many little black girls do these days Tell me she at least realizes that she jacked up her hair?

Also, how is your daughter handling this?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I showed this to DH and he asked if you beat down the cousin since nobody could be mad if you did.

 

[Christa438]

When I looked at that first pic, it put a smile on my face. When I looked at that second pic, I was like --> . I was expecting some damage but I didn't expect to see that drastic of a difference. This makes me so mad. We take care of our daughters hair so well and then someone just goes and sabotages it. My sisters & cousins know how I feel about perms on little girls' hair so if any of them was to do that, I would transform into Laila Ali and then it would be a long time before I talk to the ***** again because everybody in my fam has seen what relaxers can do to a baby hair over time (= no excuses), so don't put that crap in my baby's beautiful natural hair especially when you have no idea how to care for your own relaxed hair.

Your little girl has such a sweet pretty face though. And I know with your help and guidance, she'll bounce back. Best Wishes!

 

[Healthb4Length]

Wow, that's just all kinds of wrong!!! I'm so sorry you're child and you had to go through something so traumatic. I feel both angry and sad at the same time for you. You are a better woman than me because I feel I would have straight drop kicked that b!tch! I really think you must start teaching your daughter how to take care of her own hair, she's not too young and it can serve as a bonding experience for the two of you. I think also that braids would not be a good idea right now because just looking at the second pic I think it would cause more damage, her strands look weak. I pray for you and hope that you find a solution to this situation.

 

[Qualitee]

I can't believe this. I't not even my child and I'm pissed off. I would smack her sssssssssoooooooooooooo hard it's not even funny. I so mad i have to leave this thread

 

[graCeful_89]

WHAT!? IT WOULD BE A STRAIGHT UP IN THERE. HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO YOUR PRETTY ANGEL!? I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH I WANNA COME OVER THERE AND HUG YOU. ALL THAT WORK AND THAT POOR LITTLE GIRL HAS TO GO THROUGH THE RIDICULOUSNESS AND HARD WORK ALL OVER AGAIN. THAT POOR BABY. SHE NEEDS TO BE PUT IN BRAIDS TILL YOU GET BACK. I MEAN, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO????

 

[Mortons]

Is there anyone else that could do her hair? And let your daughter know Auntie so and so is not to touch it.

 

[*Happily Me*]

awwww -- DD is still beautiful.

I would cut it all off and start over.

 

[Impresaria]

I am so overwhelmed with the support here. I really, truly am appreciative of all of the advice given and all of the Ladies here that are p*ssed right along with me. I am a lot calmer now, and it has taken five days to get to this point. I live in Victorville, CA...about 2 hours northeast of LA. There is a LHCF member that lives close by, and she's probably REALLY mad at me right now, because I could have called her, and she would have helped, but I didn't want to impose. But now Imm'a have to impose on her.

A little background info on the family situation:

1. She is a cousin by marriage, meaning she is my husband's cousin. She fell on hard times in 2006 and she, and her two children, have lived in MY home since then.

2. I am divorcing her cousin, my husband. He no longer lives in the home. But his cousin does. I consider her family, despite the fact that we are a few months away from not being "related".

3. She lives bill and rent free. I pay everything from the mortgage down to the trash bill. Her contribution to this household is that she mind my children. That is our agreement.

4. She wants for NOTHING. If she calls me and says that she broke a nail, then I pay for it to be fixed (not literally, but close). She does not spend a dime of her own money towards the upkeep of the house or cars. I don't even expect it. I have left her with my most prized "possessions", my CHILDREN.

5. I am discovering as time goes on, that the more I GIVE, the LESS she does. I sense that somehow she may think that I owe her more than what she provides. Hmmmmm.....I need to think on that.

6. When I left last October, my Mother made a BIG OLE DEAL about how she would come out to my house once a week to help out with her grandchildren, make sure that the house was being taken care of properly, etc. I left for Iraq, on the pretense that I had FULL family support in all matters. She has been to my house twice since last November. Once to pick up a check because she was borrowing money from me.

7. I was home from May 2007 until October 2007 and I spent that time nursing her hair. She was pulling her perm (boxed no-lye) to the ends on top of bleached blond hair. She was gluing in tracks with that black bond stuff. She was washing her hair with White Rain, no conditioner to be found. She was spraying her bonded weave down with Aquanet. I introduced her to the hair boards. Along with me and my daughter, Saturday became the wash day for all of us in the house. By the time I left, I was SURE that she was clear on healthy hair practices. I had spent five months with her as she watched me do my and my daughter's hair. I even done her hair. By the time I left, I had trimmed her broken blond ends off, had her doing sew-in weaves as a protective style rather than glue, had her using MTG as a growth aid, had her using Dominican conditioners, along with Mizani lye relaxers and other quality products. I was certain that she had it right and was well on her way to being MORE than able to take care of both her hair and my daughter's hair.

8. What pisses me off the most is that I would ASK her "How is your hair doing? What's going on with the baby's hair?" When she said that Naiomi's hair took too much time in the morning, I directed her to a braider that works out of a salon ten minutes away. I'd ask her "Hey did you get Naiomi's hair braided?" And she always was like "we had to reschedule" or "the braider cancelled". I thought it was odd, because this woman was always pretty reliable for me, but I didn't question it.

9. She NEVER said that Naiomi's hair was a problem. Never. She never asked me for help, or gave the impression that she was overwhelmed. I truly thought that she was on auto-pilot and that everything was fine.

10. Ya'll are right, there are other things that are terribly wrong. She has no respect or regard for my personal property. She is STILL wearing my clothes, although I have told her that my belongings were off limits. My house was in complete disarray...but I don't want to veer to far off subject.

 

[Healthb4Length]

I am so overwhelmed with the support here. I really, truly am appreciative of all of the advice given and all of the Ladies here that are p*ssed right along with me. I am a lot calmer now, and it has taken five days to get to this point. I live in Victorville, CA...about 2 hours northeast of LA. There is a LHCF member that lives close by, and she's probably REALLY mad at me right now, because I could have called her, and she would have helped, but I didn't want to impose. But now Imm'a have to impose on her.

A little background info on the family situation:

1. She is a cousin by marriage, meaning she is my husband's cousin. She fell on hard times in 2006 and she, and her two children, have lived in MY home since then.

2. I am divorcing her cousin, my husband. He no longer lives in the home. But his cousin does. I consider her family, despite the fact that we are a few months away from not being "related".

3. She lives bill and rent free. I pay everything from the mortgage down to the trash bill. Her contribution to this household is that she mind my children. That is our agreement.

4. She wants for NOTHING. If she calls me and says that she broke a nail, then I pay for it to be fixed (not literally, but close). She does not spend a dime of her own money towards the upkeep of the house or cars. I don't even expect it. I have left her with my most prized "possessions", my CHILDREN.

5. I am discovering as time goes on, that the more I GIVE, the LESS she does. I sense that somehow she may think that I owe her more than what she provides. Hmmmmm.....I need to think on that.

6. When I left last October, my Mother made a BIG OLE DEAL about how she would come out to my house once a week to help out with her grandchildren, make sure that the house was being taken care of properly, etc. I left for Iraq, on the pretense that I had FULL family support in all matters. She has been to my house twice since last November. Once to pick up a check because she was borrowing money from me.

7. I was home from May 2007 until October 2007 and I spent that time nursing her hair. She was pulling her perm (boxed no-lye) to the ends on top of bleached blond hair. She was gluing in tracks with that black bond stuff. She was washing her hair with White Rain, no conditioner to be found. She was spraying her bonded weave down with Aquanet. I introduced her to the hair boards. Along with me and my daughter, Saturday became the wash day for all of us in the house. By the time I left, I was SURE that she was clear on healthy hair practices. I had spent five months with her as she watched me do my and my daughter's hair. I even done her hair. By the time I left, I had trimmed her broken blond ends off, had her doing sew-in weaves as a protective style rather than glue, had her using MTG as a growth aid, had her using Dominican conditioners, along with Mizani lye relaxers and other quality products. I was certain that she had it right and was well on her way to being MORE than able to take care of both her hair and my daughter's hair.

8. What pisses me off the most is that I would ASK her "How is your hair doing? What's going on with the baby's hair?" When she said that Naiomi's hair took too much time in the morning, I directed her to a braider that works out of a salon ten minutes away. I'd ask her "Hey did you get Naiomi's hair braided?" And she always was like "we had to reschedule" or "the braider cancelled". I thought it was odd, because this woman was always pretty reliable for me, but I didn't question it.

9. She NEVER said that Naiomi's hair was a problem. Never. She never asked me for help, or gave the impression that she was overwhelmed. I truly thought that she was on auto-pilot and that everything was fine.

10. Ya'll are right, there are other things that are terribly wrong. She has no respect or regard for my personal property. She is STILL wearing my clothes, although I have told her that my belongings were off limits. My house was in complete disarray...but I don't want to veer to far off subject.

SpicedTee, I may be out of bounds for saying this but I'm going to say it anyways....Ole Girls is a triflin' a$$ Parasite!!!! After all that you've done for her she should really be grateful. How many of us get to live rent-free and expenses free?? Times is Hard! Can I move in with you??? Ok. Seriously she has no respect for you or your children...it seems. If she lets your daughter walk around with her hair like that...then GOD knows what else she would do??? She seems selfish and inconsiderate and I would really try to distance myself from her. JMO.

 

[SoAnxious12]

OMG!!!!!!! Your cousin is one stank azzz trick! sorry for the harsh words and everything but that is crazy! She lives rent free... she couldn't have spent some time taking proper care of your daughters hair! UGH!!! I'm so disgusted and my heart goes out to you and your beautiful girl. I mean ol stank butt.. even had options... she was trif and jealous.

I'll keep you in thoughts and prayers and i do hope you will update us every now and then on your baby's hair.

I got frequent flier miles... i can beat your cousins *** for you... i got bail money too...

her hair will get better though... but there's so many potential dangers that could've happened (allergic reaction, 3rd degree chemical burns etc...) be thankful she's not harmed any further.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Wow, I am in shock at what some people will do..... your daughter is so young,, I agree with Dsylla,, I think she can just start over, her hair was beautiful to start with and so is she.. I hope this whole issue resolves for you...

 

[coconow2007]

I am so sorry but I know ur cuz is family and all but she needs her arse whupped

How dare she put a perm in ur childs hair when you asked her not too - if she was having problems keeping it up she could have taken her to a hair dresser or another family member, friend or something who could have helped out.

That is just wrong. I would suggest braids but they may do more harm than good with ur angel's hair being so fragile now. I am just at a loss and so sorry.

 

[missvi]

OmGosh!!!!!! I'm sorry

 

[Lorraine S]

Wow,
I am sorry that happened to your daughters beautiful hair. You should def get her hair braided.

Good luck, and God Bless

 

[ak46]

Your daughter is so beautiful....

I'm sorry something like that happened to your her. I agree with the idea some of the ladies suggested about starting over and keeping her in braids and conrows while you're gone. Braids really helped me when I had super-glue in my hair and had to start over. I hope this helps. Naiomi still looks beautiful and she is still smiling

 

[discobiscuits]

I saw your thread like 12 hours ago but i could'nt log in from the computer i was using.

I am sooooo sorry for you and your daughter.

Can you report her to child services? That is part joke part for real I mean really, something like that could emotionally hurt your beautiful little girl until her hair grows back.

What is her problem? She had no right to do anything to your daughter outside of your instructions.

I am soooooo sorry for you two.

I know children are quick forgivers and rebound quickly. I'm sure your lil lady will be okay.

 

[cmw45]

OMG! I opened this at step practice and all of my sorority sisters were like OMG! Everyone was angry at your cousin. I agree with the other ladies, I think you should put her on the crown and glory method and get someone else do do her hair. I mean, I know I shouldn't say it, but...is you cousin jealous of your daughter? I mean, if her daughter isn't cute then... Cause your daughter is beautiful!

 

[tilati]

1. She is a cousin by marriage, meaning she is my husband's cousin. She fell on hard times in 2006 and she, and her two children, have lived in MY home since then.

2. I am divorcing her cousin, my husband. He no longer lives in the home. But his cousin does. I consider her family, despite the fact that we are a few months away from not being "related".

3. She lives bill and rent free. I pay everything from the mortgage down to the trash bill. Her contribution to this household is that she mind my children. That is our agreement.

4. She wants for NOTHING. If she calls me and says that she broke a nail, then I pay for it to be fixed (not literally, but close). She does not spend a dime of her own money towards the upkeep of the house or cars. I don't even expect it. I have left her with my most prized "possessions", my CHILDREN.

5. I am discovering as time goes on, that the more I GIVE, the LESS she does. I sense that somehow she may think that I owe her more than what she provides. Hmmmmm.....I need to think on that.

6. When I left last October, my Mother made a BIG OLE DEAL about how she would come out to my house once a week to help out with her grandchildren, make sure that the house was being taken care of properly, etc. I left for Iraq, on the pretense that I had FULL family support in all matters. She has been to my house twice since last November. Once to pick up a check because she was borrowing money from me.

7. I was home from May 2007 until October 2007 and I spent that time nursing her hair. She was pulling her perm (boxed no-lye) to the ends on top of bleached blond hair. She was gluing in tracks with that black bond stuff. She was washing her hair with White Rain, no conditioner to be found. She was spraying her bonded weave down with Aquanet. I introduced her to the hair boards. Along with me and my daughter, Saturday became the wash day for all of us in the house. By the time I left, I was SURE that she was clear on healthy hair practices. I had spent five months with her as she watched me do my and my daughter's hair. I even done her hair. By the time I left, I had trimmed her broken blond ends off, had her doing sew-in weaves as a protective style rather than glue, had her using MTG as a growth aid, had her using Dominican conditioners, along with Mizani lye relaxers and other quality products. I was certain that she had it right and was well on her way to being MORE than able to take care of both her hair and my daughter's hair.

8. What pisses me off the most is that I would ASK her "How is your hair doing? What's going on with the baby's hair?" When she said that Naiomi's hair took too much time in the morning, I directed her to a braider that works out of a salon ten minutes away. I'd ask her "Hey did you get Naiomi's hair braided?" And she always was like "we had to reschedule" or "the braider cancelled". I thought it was odd, because this woman was always pretty reliable for me, but I didn't question it.

9. She NEVER said that Naiomi's hair was a problem. Never. She never asked me for help, or gave the impression that she was overwhelmed. I truly thought that she was on auto-pilot and that everything was fine.

10. Ya'll are right, there are other things that are terribly wrong. She has no respect or regard for my personal property. She is STILL wearing my clothes, although I have told her that my belongings were off limits. My house was in complete disarray...but I don't want to veer to far off subject.

She is DEAD wrong, and she knows it!
God bless

 

[tocktick]

Your daughter is so pretty!

I feel for you. That was so disrespectful of your cousin. Like everyone else, I suggest braids until you come home.

Your cousin should be ashamed of herself!

co-sign with this entire post. i'm so sorry this has happened . your cousin knows she was wrong; i don't understand what she thought gave her the right to relax your child's hair when you told her not to. that's beyond rude and disrespectful.

i know with some time and tlc your daughter's hair will do a huge turn around though; many, many women here are testament to that since they've been in similar situations.

 

[butterfly_wings]

Wow, I hope your coming back home soon to reclaim your home, that is so disrespectful of her. Yes as others said braid it and grown out the perm. Look at it this way, everything happens for a reason, you have now learnt something about her now, plus it could have been worse; she could have burnt your child's scalp at least the perm will grow out!!