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Look what she did to my baby's hair.....cry, mad, angry!! I NEED HELP!!!

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Oh my goodness girl, I just want to knock you cousin in the head. I wish you could bring her here with me and my daughter and I would take care of her. My hubby is deployed at this time and my daughter would love to have her around and I would baby her hair back to health.
 
Wow... its like she has no respect for you or anything... I would take note that if this is how she treats your baby... you can't trust her with much else:nono: This girl must have had some sort of issues with you to wrong you that way, these things just dont happen fully on accident. This really doesn't sit right with me.

Nobody will be mad if you tell us the truth about how you whooped her *** when you found out, because if you did it was justified.:yep:

Have you considered just doing the BC (or a really good trim) before you leave and putting her into braids? You know, the jumbo kind that you can keep in for a month, then having your mother take her to get the braids replaced once a month?

She has a beautiful face and even though this really sucks what you are both going through, you can tell in the pics she is still a very confident little girl.:yep: I agree with another poster who suggested you give her a "project" of caring for her own hair. She's been natural for 8 years so I'm sure she can do a better job than your cousin. All she would need to do is rinse the braids once in a while and use some kind of spray daily. The only instructions you need to give your cousin is to leave that baby's hair alone. And you can tell a trusted family member to pick her up once a month to get the braids changed--- you can even leave them the money if they try to make it a financial burden. Make sure you know where you want her hair done and how you want the braids to be so they don't ruin that too.
 
1. I agree that you should try and teach you daughter when you are home some small things to do so that her hair can get back into health. You could tell her to put conditioner on 30 (on dry hair) before she gets in the shower on Sunday night and then just wash it out in the shower. Then give her some moisturizer to put in her hair. You can also teach her two styles to do...that she can do easily so she doesn't have to depend on your cousin

this story breaks my heart. At least you are home during this week. Just try to teach you daughter as much as you can so she can stand up for herself when you are away. Unfortunately others can't take care of your child the way you do.

I will keep you in my prayers. How much longer will you be in Iraq?????
 
SpicedTee said:
I am so sad. I am more upset at something I see in this MUCH deeper than her hair. She is the ONLY Black little girl in her class. I take extreme pride in taking care of my children and making sure that they look well-groomed and put together. To think that my poor baby was going to school, cheer-leading practice, just out and about LOOKING TORE UP by the head just KILLS ME!!! Her hair was completely natural. I can look at the little new growth and see that the last perm was maybe about two weeks ago? I asked my cousin WHAT THE HELLLL....she said that Naiomi's hair was:

UNMANAGEABLE!!
HARD TO COMB!!
TOO THICK!!
A PERM WAS THE ONLY THING TO FIX IT!!

I said BULL****! I have been managing it fine for 8 years and YOU CALL THIS FIXED??!! How is what it looks like now fixed! Oh, I get it, it's fixed to look like all the other little Black girls running around with broken off, damaged hair.
I am equally MAD at my own mother and two sisters who live 45 minutes away who never cared to check on their ONLY grand-daughter and niece. That's my biggest dilemna, finding someone who is going to consistently care for her hair.

MAD!!
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She calls that 'fixed', yet she doesn't have her own child looking like that? :wallbash:

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I wouldn't let that woman near my child's head:nono:

What about a cute TWA until you're home for good. Your daughter could probably wash and comb it herself since it's really low maintenance.

 
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OMG your poor baby!
I was screaming at the screen when I saw the pics:nono:

On a positive note your daughter is beautiful:yep:
 
I was truly not prepared for the after pic. :eek:

I am so sorry this happened to your child. I would be so mad right now too. ESPECIALLY since you gave instructions and obviously your cousin didnt say it was to much or too hard to handle when you told her what to do

Did she actually cut her hair???

Your daughter is gorgeous BTW!
 
Honestly ....It is a bad situation because you
have to leave again and your daughter is too
young to take care of her own hair.....I would go get her hair braided in individuals braids because they last longer.....And send money to keep her hair braided....That way she can transition back natural and still keep her confidence....Last thing you want is your daughter to lose her self esteem over this or to get a complex.........Get braids and she will feel better and so will you....You can't let her walk around looking like that now that you know......
 
First of all, your daughter is absolutely beautiful!
Secondly, keep your daughter away from your cousin. I wouldn't trust her with your baby's hair or anything else for that matter. Hopefully you can find another person to take care of her when you leave again.
Please enjoy the rest of your time on leave.
It's a damn shame when you can't trust your family :rolleyes::wallbash:
 
ST, I am so sorry this happened to you and your little girl. I agree with the other members who said you need to go on and teach her to do it on her own. My niece is 9 and for the last about 6 months she has been begging me to teach her to wash and condition her hair. I told her I would think about it. She turns 10 yrs old this summer and im going to teach her(haircare). I think you can do it too even if you have to email or write each other in the process.
 
growwithme said:
Sorry that that happened. Have you thought of having her hair braided? Maybe you can find someone to make sure she keeps it in braids while you're gone. Was your cousin apologetic at all?
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ITA with this suggestion. I am so hurt and angry for you and your daughter!!!! :nono:
 
WOW....let me say that this goes beyond just your daughter having "umanageable hair", your cousin has a problem with you and/or her (which is ridiculous, since she's 8)...it's like even after she damaged your beautiful daughter's hair with that relaxer she procedded to hot comb it in all directions over her head! See, this is why families fight at funerals, your stank ass (excuse my language) cousin needs to get her ass whooped. Now that I've said that, let me say, I'm 19 and when I was 9, my trifiling older cousin (like, 14 years older than me) permed and cut my MBL hair and when my aunt asked her why she did it, she said, because I was "showing off"! I was 9! People are so ignorant and will hurt a child, even if they are your family, My mother promptly beat my cousin's ass, old school style and never let her near my head again, nor left me alone with her. And then I wore braids for awhile, about a year and my hair grew back, not to MBL, but healthy and full again. It's not the end and she's so young, hair is probably the last thing on her mind! BTW, your daughter is so pretty, and I am terribly sorry this happened to you guys.
 
OMG Im in shock. Please find a braider quick. I would recommend finding a member here who is a stylist who would at least know how to properly care for your baby's hair. I would whoop your cousins *** myself for that. I want to cry too for what she did. Maybe you can put Dad in charge with instructions on where to take her and NO relaxers and updates every week meaning pictures of your daughter's hair every week. Your cousin has an evil heart. Im so sorry.
 
I am wiping away tears as I am typing this... I am in the process of repairing my severely damaged hair. I look at the pics in this thread and it made me cry, seriously (and I'm not an emotional person). How could someone do that to this sweet, beautiful little girl? She has the face of an angel! How is your daughter taking this? I agree with all of the ladies, especially Traycee. Braids should definetely help, teach her how to care for her hair (even the little things like moisturizing and tying it up), and make sure you find someone to take care of her hair.

((Sending you and lil mama a big hug!!)

BTW, I'm a truck driver so if you need to come over there with my brass knuckles and steel toe boots, PM me. I'll get a load there and have a "discussion" (to put it mildly), with your cousin.
 
Those pictures brought tears to my eyes, I'm so sorry this happened.:nono:

Your cousin needs her teeth kicked in.
 
Girl I just GASPED OUT LOUD! I didnt even get to read the full post or even responses, I'm so shocked and just upset. You have the tools to nurse her back to that lovely hair that she had, thankfully it will grow back even more beautiful than before. I can only imagine what your poor baby is thinking.

Man let's go kick your cousins @$$ for REAL!:wallbash:
 
Maybe you can just get it braided, like some of the other ladies said, and try not to let your daughter know that she has to grow a new head of hair.

Little girls can be traumatized at such a young age, when it comes to hair, wanting some and not having it.

Trim some, condition it and braid it for the rest of the year. This way you don't have to worry about your cousin or anyone esle doing anything against your wishes while you're gone.

Soo sorry to see this. I think I'd still be on top of my cousin, beatin' her down.
 
Wow... I'm so sorry this is happening. I am just can't understand how your COUSIN could do that to your child. People's jelousy never ceases to amaze me.

Your daughter is gorgeous by the way :)
 
Platinum said:
I am wiping away tears as I am typing this... I am in the process of repairing my severely damaged hair. I look at the pics in this thread and it made me cry, seriously (and I'm not an emotional person). How could someone do that to this sweet, beautiful little girl? She has the face of an angel! How is your daughter taking this? I agree with all of the ladies, especially Traycee. Braids should definetely help, teach her how to care for her hair (even the little things like moisturizing and tying it up), and make sure you find someone to take care of her hair.

((Sending you and lil mama a big hug!!)

BTW, I'm a truck driver so if you need to come over there with my brass knuckles and steel toe boots, PM me. I'll get a load there and have a "discussion" (to put it mildly), with your cousin.
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:grin::lachen: You GO Platinum! I'm down wit cha! I'll hold your keys!!! :grin: :lachen:
 
I am so sorry this happened... i'm mad at ur cuzin too! but I was gonna say maybe you should check out Peachtree's album... her daughter has very healthy long hair and her whole routine is outlined on her about me page... well her hair was beautiful befor so i'm sure u don't really need advice urself but u can show whomever u chose to care for ur baby's hair next time around... but i tell u one thing that's a beautiful child she's gonna be a knockout!

http://members.fotki.com/Peachtree2/about/
 
:eek2:Seriously... tears came to my eyes!!

How dare she! You trusted her to take proper care of you daughter's hair, and not only did she completely ignore you, but she had the audacity to relax it?!:pullhair::spank:


I understand your anger! I'm so sorry this happened :nono::bighug:
 
your daughter is absolutely beautiful and i agree with the others that maybe braids will help. i know at the day care i used to work at, some mothers would put "empress braids" (i think that's what they are) in their daughter's hair b/c the braids were cornrowed all around and up into a cute bun or pony tail so the girls could play all crazily like kids do without having to worry about individual braids slipping out, getting caught in something or worse, some other child trying to cut them off.

and i also agree that she seems old enough to be able to follow your instructions for her hair care if you leave them for her. that way, she will be learning early (which will ensure her a lifetime of healthy hair) and it will help reinforce that sense of self-reliance that kids begin to develop at her age.

i am so sorry this happened and i hope you had a long discussion with your cousin about why this was so wrong and incredibly disrespectful to you and your daughter. going against such simple instructions to care for your daughter's hair is completely unacceptable! and she should know that.
 
Reg's Wife said:
I
The only thing that I can recommend it showing your daughter in the next week how to take care of her own hair and also making sure that she is comfortable telling the adults around her what to do for her hair. She is only 8 years old and probably reluctant to say no to an adult, but in this instance you can give her permission to tell adults no when it comes to messing up her hair. And also show her what products you want used (or have them delivered to the house).
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I think this is a really good idea. Show her how to co-wash, detangle gently and how to just simply put it up in a bun and let her know how important it is to sleep with a scarf on. Also teach her about moisturizing as well. I think you should at least find someone who can take care of her hair, maybe a stylist that you KNOW AND TRUST. Set up the appointments for her maybe to get a wash/dc/set maybe 1x a week and have them take your CC info over the phone, if you can afford to do this. It's just at this rate I'd be so afraid of trusting anyone else but you to do it. Your best bet is to look at people whom you KNOW and have healthy hair themselves and have them do it. Maybe you can even compensate them in some way for it. This is just an alternate route to think about. I also really like the idea of a trusted LHCF member in your area to help you out and you guys stay in constant contact. You have some options for sure.

But I still think the best option is to get her hair braided asap. Maybe while you're still home so you can witness it being done. I say this because of her age, and also because I'd be afraid that whoever is supposed to take her to get her hair done doesn't do it...
 
You can also instruct them to keep her hair in protective styles until you get home...or leave money for her to go to a sylist....

I just don't understand why your mom or sister couldn't just check up on her...DAMN!
 
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