long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

[flyygirlll2]

Eh, I 've gotten used to it *shrugs*. Sometimes I don't pay attention unless I am out with my SO or my Mother, they let me know that so and so was breaking their neck lol. Thankfully for the most part it's not anything negative, I usually receive compliments and the predictable "is that your hair?"

 

[CurlyMoo]

I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself. Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well. There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair. The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. She looked me up and down and then left. My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!

Are you sure that girl wasn't about to ask you out until she saw you had a man? I agree you shouldn't be any different because someone else is being silly or curious.

 

[CurlyMoo]

and two wrongs don't make a right, that's why if you are the one blessed with hair long enough to look fake then YOU should be the one to show a little graciousness...because 1. it shows you can be the better person and 2. it prevents you from being humiliated by that one person who is so hateful and jealous and is hoping for a reason to punch you out. Also, I don't think the question deserves a response that is so rude as to humiliate someone in public, simply say "it is my real hair" and keep it moving.

Or say nothing at all, just leave them standing there looking stupid. We don't owe these people anything!

 

[CurlyMoo]

I feel like when people ask you, "is all that yours?", especially around people, they are trying to embarrass you. If your answer is no... then you feel embarrassed. That person is not usually expecting the answer to be yes.

Those type of questions deserve to be ignored. Just turn around and leave or change the subject. To me it's like asking, "Did you brush your teeth today?" Some people are so uncooth that they would ask a question like that in public and loud because they don't know any better.

 

[CurlyMoo]

bumpzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[sexyeyes3616]

Well my hair is not at a length where I get stares but when I do finally get stares, I will love it

 

[clever]

I naturally don't pay folks no mind but if I'm out with family/friends they always notice and tell me(mostly my mother...she'll say "your hair look like a wig,thats why folks stare so hard".

Sometimes when I'm doing my hair in the mirror I can see from the mirroe one of my roomates lookin at my hair in one of those serial killer/crazy **** glares......It scares me sometimes because the chick doesn't even bother to look away!lol.Other times I can be wrapping my hair up at night and my other roomate will bust out with "SO!!!DON'T NOBODY CARE!!".....wow...just wow...

 

[Anew]

Really some people stare in awe. I never assume the worse when people stare... I probably would've tried to sneak a couple glances, but most people get offended or think you're trying to figure out if the hair is real or weave and so as not to offend I'll look for a couple of seconds and keep it moving

 

[Filmatic]

I had my hair in a braidout. If I must say so myself it was looking good, no frizz, and it had good body. I was walking out of the post office and as this girl was walking by she looks at me and say, uhh. Wtf?

 

[lila_baby]

Are you sure that girl wasn't about to ask you out until she saw you had a man? I agree you shouldn't be any different because someone else is being silly or curious.

she probably was just about to ask u out just to get some hair secrets from u!

 

[darkangel25]

Most of the time I get stares I don't even notice, but whomever I am out with usually does and will tell me about it. I am not bothered by it. I am normally too busy shopping, or doing whatever to give them any thought.

 

[ksk_xs]

On the other hand, asking someone where they got their hair from is also rude. To me it's like asking if those are my real breasts. It's none of their dang business. Now I have learned that most people are honest when I say I like their hair and they usually tell me if it's a weave. I don't have to ask, but that's just my experience. And if someone is really nice and ask me about my hair color and it's a weave or wig I'll tell them the number.

To the original question I usually wear my hair up or hidden but when it is down I try to be careful. I'd had angry stares from people when I wore a short blondish bob, so there's not telling with my real hair.

Lol, my hair isnt long but I get the weave question when I wear rod-sets or braidouts. People don't even question for moment if it's mine they come up to me compliment me and ask me what kinda hair I bought. They at least ask me before they touch it-probably because at this point my face looks like this. People in class give me the weave question because of how short I cut my hair last year and theyre not used to seeing ppl grow hair-cuz most ppl don't retain their growth for a year.

 

[ckn]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I like how you took the high road and 'swang' that hair in her face the next day!!! I can only imagine how tight her face was!

I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!

 

[Fine 4s]

I got some good stares a couple of weeks ago when I had an excellent twist-out that had SWANG because it was twisted on Thu. and released on Frid...so fresh and so clean-clean

I felt really good, but surprisingly uncomfortable b/c I become overly concerned about what they really thought about me, my hair and the overall 'look.'

A group of workers in the store, 2 women and 1 man were staring for quite a bit as the girl was saying how much she loved my boots. So [and u said leave the modesty out] as I walked down the isle on my way to the ladies room, I did my own model runway walk...

For the first time I felt like I was That girl

 

[Fine 4s]

And let me also say... what the is up with people asking "is that all your hair" or "is that a weave"? What DIFFERENCE does it make? If you like a person's hair, compliment it. If not, keep your looks and comments to yourself. I guess I'm one of the few who thinks that's a VERY rude question!

You know, I'm not sure if it's rude, maybe uncouth...one of those really nosy questions that perhaps, for some people, should NOT be asked. If I did have a weave, I'd be embarrassed but if I did not have a weave, I'd be elated and fling it all over the place!

However, I could see why this question might be relevant to some. If it is a weave, I might give up on trying to achieve what this person has. If it is not, then the follow-up question would be 'how can I get that?' It depends on the intention of the person.

 

[Fine 4s]

and two wrongs don't make a right, that's why if you are the one blessed with hair long enough to look fake then YOU should be the one to show a little graciousness...because 1. it shows you can be the better person and 2. it prevents you from being humiliated by that one person who is so hateful and jealous and is hoping for a reason to punch you out. Also, I don't think the question deserves a response that is so rude as to humiliate someone in public, simply say "it is my real hair" and keep it moving.

See, I like your thinking...

Based on the different responses here, the one being looked/stared at is in control of how they chose to judge the interaction. If you chose to look at it negatively then that is how you will respond and vice versa. The only boundary I see here is if the person physically invades your space.

Other than that, everything else [emotions, reactions etc] are created by you the sweatee

 

[Fine 4s]

I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone where they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled for.. if I mistook it for fake but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z

I hear you...unintended consequences...

Some people may have a much different experience and do not welcome these types of questions (as you can see by the various responses here). Just as you don't understand why they would respond rudely, they may not understand the rude question! Take the neutral position or ask a less invasive question that might lead to the 'real' question or don't ask at all.

Not knowing the consequences of your action as innocent as the intention may be is not a reason to be sheltered from harsh reactions by others. I've gotten caught out there so many times by saying something that was taken way out of context. I had to learn to THINK way beyond my own reality before I do/or say things now (still working on it).

Two words come to mind...workplace censorship.


One has to be a lil' more tactful when it comes to asking personal questions such has hair, contacts, breast, penis enlargement etc.

IMHO though, bottom line, as you stated it's not that serious and making it serious may intimate a latent narcissistic view.
WTF?!! Who said that?! She crayyyyzay...

 

[Amerie123]

When I got my hair cut to bob length (before I went to bootcamp), everyone asked was that a weave because of it's thickness, and i proudly said no. I like that stuff, and although I'm not MBL or anything near it yet, my hair is always full-looking.
And when my hair gets that long, I will love ALL my stares, the "is-it-a-weave" questions, the compliments. I will love it all, cuz everyone know that a black girl with some length isn't a bad thing at all. and like Sandy said, i will run my fingers through it and let them know its all real. lol. but that's just me. I take pride in the way I look, definitely not to be confused with conceited.

 

[Liberianmami26]

wow these stories have entertained me the past two hours ive been pretending to work lol but the whole gum story thats grimy and best believe my hair will be up when i reach my goal length and ill wear it down around family only and if i just wanted to be a b cuz i knew some people where haters ill were two pigtails so there wont be a need for a dumb weave check and thats all i got to say to that lol

 

[Raspberry]

All I can say is to the jealousy some of you ladies have experienced. My hair hovers around bob length and I absolutely LOVE seeing black women with a full head of healthy hair! As for the long haired sistas (with healthy hair of course ) keep knocking 'em dead and disproving those stereotypes about black hair!

Girl me too, I love to see black women lookin good.. I get really proud seein sistas represetin well.

 

[Raspberry]

Sometimes when I'm doing my hair in the mirror I can see from the mirroe one of my roomates lookin at my hair in one of those serial killer/crazy **** glares......It scares me sometimes because the chick doesn't even bother to look away!lol.Other times I can be wrapping my hair up at night and my other roomate will bust out with "SO!!!DON'T NOBODY CARE!!".....wow...just wow...

Some people need a Katt Williams type self-esteem pill stat!

 

[mahogany_horizons]

I think it is hilarious! Funny thing is, most people that look at my hair are only looking to find the tracks....so that is why I find it sooo amusing.

YOU HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD, WHILE I DON'T FIND IT HILARIOUS, I find them always staring to look for the tracks. I've only worn a weave once (nothing against weaves at all, used to phony pony occasionally but my hubby does not like phony ponies so no longer wear any fake hair) NONETHELESS IT ALWAYS irks me when they do this, as though a black woman can't have long relaxed hair, and it "gotsta be a weave"..!

 

[clever]

Some people need a Katt Williams type self-esteem pill stat!

GIRL!!!Who you telling

 

[KrystalClear]

My hair isn't that long YET and people say interesting things. I get stares. But most the time people ask me, "how did you get your hair like that." And tell me that my hair is pretty. Especially white ladies. And at the club one time the guy that worked there (I know him) said me and my sister had hair pieces when I had it up in my puff. Now that I'm natural people ALWAYS assume I'm mixed.... my family heritage is black, bajan, native american -- butttt my mom and dad are black. I like the stares, because when I was relaxed I didn't get very many compliments or attention for my hair, and my hair is something I have always wanted to be really long but neverrrr had. Also, people say I have "good hair. (I HATE THAT TERM BY THE WAY) But one time, somebody told me my hair was nappy (when i got in an argument with this older gentleman) ... so it's all about the person "viewing".

When I see somebody with pretty hair, long, short, straight, natural -- I ALWAYS say, "Dang she/he got some pretty hair!" Or I say ,"AWWW her/his hair is SO pretty!" I'm happy for them and say in my head, I cant wait!

 

[Zawaj]

As a child I got bullied because of my hair. I routinely got the she think she cute thing. It was strange to me because in my family my hair was on the shorter side. In my 20s when my hair was a thick shoulder length bob I would get asked if it was real. I never understood that either. Now I cover my hair for religious reasons so I don't worry about that anymore .

 

[Kerryann]

lol i get stares and people looking hard to see a track or 2 if they dont see it they whisper loud enough oh she know thats a weave but i shake it and keep it moving who cares

 

[Coco*Colada]

I'm used to the stares my whole life but I can't stand for people to walk up behind me in the grocery store( or pretend they have to get something from the same aisle) and get sooo close I can feel them breathing , just so they can check for tracks or whatever they are looking for. It's hilarious and I stand there longer just to let them know it's mine they can check all they want lol!! My husband thinks its crazy. It shocks me because all of the women in my family have long hair and I'm used to it. I could care less if a woman has hair to her ankles it doesn't surprise me and I'm not going to take time out of my day to hover nearby and see if its her hair .

 

[2grlsandme]

I dont post that often but for this I had to!! Yesterday my10 yo DD came home from school and told me that she and her lil AA friend were in the bathroom at school when a lil WG comes into the bathroom and just stares. Apparently the two were talking hair (Cuz i just blunt cut my DD MBL hair to BSL) And her friend said "I cant believe you cut your hair" Mind you she is MBL . Well the lil WG proceeded to TELL them thats not your real hair!! If you dont stop playing with it its gonna fall off. Well my dd (big mouth she is) told her "what makes you think that?" She said her mom told her Black peoples hair cant grow long. I told her she and her mom were just ignorant. LOL

 

[Diva_Esq]

I get it all the time now at between SL and APL, so I can only imagine what it'll be like at BSL, WL and all natural.

One day, my MIL overheard some women talking about me at my son's football practice. They were saying, "Dang, her weave is TIGHT! I gotta ask her who put that in!" I wish they would've. With a straight face, I would've said "God." SMH!

 

[Diva_Esq]

As a child I got bullied because of my hair. I routinely got the she think she cute thing. It was strange to me because in my family my hair was on the shorter side. In my 20s when my hair was a thick shoulder length bob I would get asked if it was real. I never understood that either. Now I cover my hair for religious reasons so I don't worry about that anymore .

Me too!