Liars

Natty_Virgo

Natty_Virgo

Well-Known Member
Does your SO/DH lie to you all the time about little stuff and stick with the lie no matter what?

My dh constantly lies about stuff and even when busted he won't admit to it. I haven't caught him in anything super serious but I feel like if he will lie about little things of course he will lie about major things.

I didn't grow up with any kind of example of what marriage should be or how men should be or anything so I am wondering if this is normal behavior for men to lie about little things all the damn time cause I am ready to snap.
 
Not growing with an example for what marriage should look like isn't an excuse to accept a liar into your life.

If he lies, he will steal and cheat.

No!...lying isn't acceptable from anyone!!!

Go on and snap on his ***.
 
Girl I had this problem with an ex. He said it was because he didn't want to make me mad. I didn't understand the logic in that, cause finding out he lied just made me angrier. I dropped him because no matter how many talks we had about it, he just couldn't see my point and I became distrustful of him. So it was better to cut my losses then to have to second guess everything he told me.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Nexus S 4G
 
^^^ DH says that is the exact reason he lies to me which I really don't understand cause, like you said, it makes me more upset. I am really trying not to end up in the divorce forum smh
 
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I had an ex who lied a lot. The thing is, he'd FORGET the original lie and I'm not the type to let you get away with that. He once told me the same story twice with the main character in the story switching each time. First it happened to him, then it happened to his uncle. Another time he told me he was late picking me up because he had to go back into work for something. Hours later, he said it was because he had to help his cousin. I didn't trust him. Because he lied so much, he thought I lied too. It was a mess.

I had another ex who lied to impress me. One day I flat out said "um, you lie a lot." And he said "Everyone lies." :look:

Idk... in a perfect world, there would be complete honesty in a relationship. Or at least, an omission of absurd and unnecessary lies. Guys are stupid though. :lol:
 
Windsy said:
Not growing with an example for what marriage should look like isn't an excuse to accept a liar into your life.

If he lies, he will steal and cheat.

No!...lying isn't acceptable from anyone!!!

Go on and snap on his ***.
Click to expand...

:lol: Oh I did snap. Just wondering if this will ever change and thinking about our future since I am married to dude
 
~VicTorIAn~ said:
I had an ex who lied a lot. The thing is, he'd FORGET the original lie and I'm not the type to let you get away with that. He once told me the same story twice with the main character in the story switching each time. First it happened to him, then it happened to his uncle. Another time he told me he was late picking me up because he had to go back into work for something. Hours later, he said it was because he had to help his cousin. I didn't trust him. Because he lied so much, he thought I lied too. It was a mess.

I had another ex who lied to impress me. One day I flat out said "um, you lie a lot." And he said "Everyone lies." :look:

Idk... in a perfect world, there would be complete honesty in a relationship. Or at least, an omission of absurd and unnecessary lies. Guys are stupid though. :lol:
Click to expand...

Yes they are extremely stupid. :lol: @ his lies always changing. I am really pissed off today but wondering if this is grounds for divorce or if this ish is normal for men to lie about stupid little things often.
 
sheedatj said:
Does your SO/DH lie to you all the time about little stuff and stick with the lie no matter what?

My dh constantly lies about stuff and even when busted he won't admit to it. I haven't caught him in anything super serious but I feel like if he will lie about little things of course he will lie about major things.

I didn't grow up with any kind of example of what marriage should be or how men should be or anything so I am wondering if this is normal behavior for men to lie about little things all the damn time cause I am ready to snap.
Click to expand...

Windsy said:
Not growing with an example for what marriage should look like isn't an excuse to accept a liar into your life.

If he lies, he will steal and cheat.

No!...lying isn't acceptable from anyone!!!

Go on and snap on his ***.
Click to expand...

yup. Be prepared for "bigger" lies if you stay with him, op.
 
sheedatj said:
Does your SO/DH lie to you all the time about little stuff and stick with the lie no matter what?

My dh constantly lies about stuff and even when busted he won't admit to it. I haven't caught him in anything super serious but I feel like if he will lie about little things of course he will lie about major things.

I didn't grow up with any kind of example of what marriage should be or how men should be or anything so I am wondering if this is normal behavior for men to lie about little things all the damn time cause I am ready to snap.
Click to expand...

99% of people have lied at one point or another, and I am among the 99% so I am not going to get on a high horse.

However, lying in a close relationship is problematic because it shows a lack of intimacy.

And lying constantly and then sticking to the lie no matter what when busted is a HUGE red flag. I couldn't stay with someone like that.
 
carcajada said:
yup. Be prepared for "bigger" lies if you stay with him, op.
Click to expand...

This is what I am scared of.

DragonPearl said:
99% of people have lied at one point or another, and I am among the 99% so I am not going to get on a high horse.

However, lying in a close relationship is problematic because it shows a lack of intimacy.

And lying constantly and then sticking to the lie no matter what when busted is a HUGE red flag. I couldn't stay with someone like that.
Click to expand...

Yea, this is why I was so mad about it. Not just that he lied but he stuck to it for 3 days when it was obvious he was lying. Now, I can't trust him but damn it's not like we are just dating.
 
i dunno. i have been with liars and each of them was a cheater. my current is amazing and we disclose on EVERYTHING. I look for lies and I can't find them. I am not married but feeling the anxiety of someone lying to me is something I never want to feel again.Calculating and analyzing every word that comes out of their mouth... omg that mess does NOT feel good. You should be able to feel your most relaxed and open with the man you love the most.
 
^^ Exactly. I guess I need to rethink some things. He was supposed to support me while going to school so I quit my job damn.

Well thanks for the advice ladies.
 
sheedatj said:
^^ Exactly. I guess I need to rethink some things. He was supposed to support me while going to school so I quit my job damn.

Well thanks for the advice ladies.
Click to expand...

Think hard about it. I did that. Didn't work for a year. He paid every single bill. I think it guilted me into accepting some really selfish traits from him I wouldn't have otherwise. Then when we had arguments, I felt trapped because he was my cash cow. Couple that with my built-in nature to want to work and it was terrible. Just think really hard about what you expect from him and the relationship.

On a side note, Liars seem to have to hit rock bottom to want to change the habit. Are you willing to go to the bottom with him? rhetorical. :ohwell:
 
carcajada said:
Think hard about it. I did that. Didn't work for a year. He paid every single bill. I think it guilted me into accepting some really selfish traits from him I wouldn't have otherwise. Then when we had arguments, I felt trapped because he was my cash cow. Couple that with my built-in nature to want to work and it was terrible. Just think really hard about what you expect from him and the relationship.

On a side note, Liars seem to have to hit rock bottom to want to change the habit. Are you willing to go to the bottom with him? rhetorical. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

I know you said rhetorical but it would depend on what the bottom is. I am thinking really hard but I was hoping that it wouldn't have to come to me leaving him smh
 
sheedatj said:
Does your SO/DH lie to you all the time about little stuff and stick with the lie no matter what?

My dh constantly lies about stuff and even when busted he won't admit to it. I haven't caught him in anything super serious but I feel like if he will lie about little things of course he will lie about major things.

I didn't grow up with any kind of example of what marriage should be or how men should be or anything so I am wondering if this is normal behavior for men to lie about little things all the damn time cause I am ready to snap.
Click to expand...

It is not normal for any person, male or female, to lie all the time, regardless if the lies are little or big.
 
Look up pathological liar. Some people can't even help lying. It can be tied to low self worth, fear of abandonment, or in bad cases narcissism or psychosis... In their mind, the option of lying is always more interesting and makes them more likeable or more entertaining -and as long as it's harmless they feel no remorse.

And they believe everyone lies, which in a way is true - I read once that in conversations throughout the day, the average person lies or exaggerates at least twice.

I don't have much advice for you on how to move forward besides gaining understanding. Men don't normally like to go into treatment.
 
LadyChe said:
Look up pathological liar. Some people can't even help lying. It can be tied to low self worth, fear of abandonment, or in bad cases narcissism or psychosis... In their mind, the option of lying is always more interesting and makes them more likeable or more entertaining -and as long as it's harmless they feel no remorse.

And they believe everyone lies, which in a way is true - I read once that in conversations throughout the day, the average person lies or exaggerates at least twice.

I don't have much advice for you on how to move forward besides gaining understanding. Men don't normally like to go into treatment.
Click to expand...

I will look it up, I figured he is some kind of habitual liar because the stuff he lies about is stupid. He says he will seek counseling to try to fix himself amd figure out why he lies about simple stuff. I dunno tho.

Sent from my DROID3 using DROID3
 
My ex-husband lied about small stuff and after we divorced he came clean about things I i had NO clue about! It really blew my mind!! Try counseling and do all you can to work things out....but don't think you have to put up with this. Good luck OP.....sending. ( Hugs)
 
alwaysinchrist said:
My ex-husband lied about small stuff and after we divorced he came clean about things I i had NO clue about! It really blew my mind!! Try counseling and do all you can to work things out....but don't think you have to put up with this. Good luck OP.....sending. ( Hugs)
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Gheez, that just doesn't make sense to me. :sad:

Thanks giril (hug)
 
I had an X that did the same thing. His mother said if he tells you he is pssing then believe that he is ishting. SO he was a serial, pathological liar!

My grand use to say if he lies he will steal and sho'nuf cheat. that is exactly what happen. It is a legion a grouping of demoinic spirits. I was devastated when I found out the truth about him. He would tell people his name was such-n-such and I would ask him why are people calling him other names and he would fluff it off. The light should've come on thenm but yeah he lied about all kinds of things. YOU CANNOT TRUST a liar. Take heed.
 
My sons father said to me the other day he was at the movies with 2 of his friends. it just so happens that one of his friends was saying he was home bored on Fb of course :duh:

I then tell him his friend was home he says oh yea he had company he cancelled on us. Yea right negro! Then he goes on to tell me I should be glad he's not there with a female. :lol:
We aren't together why do u lie?
He says he felt like it. He was mad he got caught.

Then he soon texts me he loves me.
Thank God I'm not into him as I once was.
 
gn1g said:
I had an X that did the same thing. His mother said if he tells you he is pssing then believe that he is ishting. SO he was a serial, pathological liar!

My grand use to say if he lies he will steal and sho'nuf cheat. that is exactly what happen. It is a legion a grouping of demoinic spirits. I was devastated when I found out the truth about him. He would tell people his name was such-n-such and I would ask him why are people calling him other names and he would fluff it off. The light should've come on thenm but yeah he lied about all kinds of things. YOU CANNOT TRUST a liar. Take heed.
Click to expand...

I also believe that if he lies about little things he will lie about anything serious. Especially since his reason for lying is because he doesn't want to make me upset.

LoveBeautyKisses said:
My sons father said to me the other day he was at the movies with 2 of his friends. it just so happens that one of his friends was saying he was home bored on Fb of course :duh:

I then tell him his friend was home he says oh yea he had company he cancelled on us. Yea right negro! Then he goes on to tell me I should be glad he's not there with a female. :lol:
We aren't together why do u lie?
He says he felt like it. He was mad he got caught.

Then he soon texts me he loves me.
Thank God I'm not into him as I once was.
Click to expand...

:lol: @ him being mad he got caught. DH sweats like he is running 50 miles, all his words become short and quick and he defends himself before I even question it when he starts lying so I don't even know why he tries it.

I am so disappointed in him, I will never get married again when this is over.
 
sheedatj said:
I also believe that if he lies about little things he will lie about anything serious. Especially since his reason for lying is because he doesn't want to make me upset.



:lol: @ him being mad he got caught. DH sweats like he is running 50 miles, all his words become short and quick and he defends himself before I even question it when he starts lying so I don't even know why he tries it.

I am so disappointed in him, I will never get married again when this is over.
Click to expand...

sure you will, it will be sweeter the next time . . . maybe.
 
sheedatj said:
I also believe that if he lies about little things he will lie about anything serious. Especially since his reason for lying is because he doesn't want to make me upset.



:lol: @ him being mad he got caught. DH sweats like he is running 50 miles, all his words become short and quick and he defends himself before I even question it when he starts lying so I don't even know why he tries it.

I am so disappointed in him, I will never get married again when this is over.
Click to expand...

Yes like I wish I could take that ninja's blood pressure.
 
CaramelLites said:
Girl I had this problem with an ex. He said it was because he didn't want to make me mad. I didn't understand the logic in that, cause finding out he lied just made me angrier. I dropped him because no matter how many talks we had about it, he just couldn't see my point and I became distrustful of him. So it was better to cut my losses then to have to second guess everything he told me.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Nexus S 4G
Click to expand...
Ex-husband did the same to me. Plus he lied by omission and that burns me up. I tell men I meet and if I see a potential future with them that lying by omission is the same is just straight out lying in my book.
 
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