Dear Sweet Angels

brickhouse said:
Thanks Hopeful for everything.
Click to expand...

You're welcome:).

crlsweetie912 said:
WOW I'm so mad at you Hopeful! You made me cry! :cry2: That was so beautiful!
:bighug:

Such beautiful words! I love yall...
Click to expand...

You are funny! I didn't mean to make you cry, but it's a good cry though I hope. Thanks for your nice comments crlsweetie.

v2.0 said:
Beautiful post hopeful. It should be posted in every single part of this forum.
Click to expand...

Wow, thank you, that is a wonderful compliment:yep:. You made my day.
 
This really made me tear up. I was thinking of my little sister and a few friends who I wish could read this. Beautiful and powerful words
 
Thank you so much for this post. I didn't really have many problems with guys until after I got to college and had folks around me who didn't have my best interests at heart. Now, I've had to deal with some slimy co-workers who are the same way, but I've learned that people who try to make you feel bad about your standards are just mad because they don't live up to them or don't have any of their own. I just can't stand older people who hate to see any young person doin' it big on their own. No pun intended.
 
LoverofLife said:
:bump: What a wonderful post... should be a sticky!
Click to expand...

Awww thanks :).

phynestone said:
Thank you so much for this post. I didn't really have many problems with guys until after I got to college and had folks around me who didn't have my best interests at heart. Now, I've had to deal with some slimy co-workers who are the same way, but I've learned that people who try to make you feel bad about your standards are just mad because they don't live up to them or don't have any of their own. I just can't stand older people who hate to see any young person doin' it big on their own. No pun intended.
Click to expand...

Yeah I've learned that's it's just best to hang with people who have similiar standards and aspirations as you. If they don't dream big how can they support you? If they don't have high standards how are they truly going to support your standards? I learned the hard way too, folks always saying you are so this and so that, I wish I could do this and that like you, I finally realized that a lot of time that is code for I hate you and I'm trying to figure out how to sabatoge you. You may not have as many friends but if you are selective you will be much happier. When I was in my 20's I would say out loud, one day I want this and that and I want to go here, etc. and people would actually laugh at me. 20 years later and just about every dream has come to pass. They aren't laughing now:look:.
 
Hopeful...I'm sitting here in tears because I believe God drew me to this post. I was just about to write a post about how I just realized I've become a bitter black woman at 25.

I was very optimist about Love despite having no dad and a very "interesting" mother ( trying not say horrible). I got married at 20 with that optimism...and he become verbally abusive.

I healed from that with Christian counseling but left before I could fully work on myself because my x-fiance came into the picture. He killed what little optimism I have remaining cause he changed when I cut my hair. I know men don't like change but he started to treat me badly. Like a pitiful dog, i keep going back and forth with despite family warnings and my own common sense.

This last time we broke up, hatred and bitterness has filled my heart. The little optimism I had left has died in that last relationship. The thought of men makes me angry.

However, I know bitterness hurts me more than anything. For some reasons, I don't think I'll ever will meet a man that deserves my best again that saddens me cause I don't want to live that way. These feelings are also turning inward cause I feel depressed and unworthy too. I definitely don't see myself as precious.

Your post has encourage me to take this time and heal. Maybe I will seek counseling again.Eitherway I need to be more discerning in who I let into my heart, and there were signs each time that these men weren't the best in critical areas and i ignored them and settled/excused those "minor' shortcomings in order to be loved.

Thank you Hopeful. I hope these are cleansing tears. God Bless You.
 
((((Shinka)))) I'm sorry you've been hurt so much and have become so bitter. You are so young. You should be filled with hope and looking forward to the next 25 years. Some more counseling probably would be helpful. I have found that healing comes in phases. You get to one layer but like an onion their are many more layers that need healing. It takes awhile to get to the core sometimes. I want you to be happy. And you really are precious:yep:.
 
hopeful said:
chokolate miss :huggle: Now I am in tears. I felt so compelled to post this thread, now I know why. Just know that it takes baby steps. When I was in my 20's I stayed in the self-help book section. In my 30's I got counseling. I am much stronger and happier, confident most days, but still, in my 40's, married nearly 22 years with 2 kids, and some days I still have those doubts and fears.

Ask God for his Mercy and Grace regarding your hurt. Ask Him to help you heal. Journal. Seek counseling. If the first counselor is not helping you, move on and find one who can. You are a sweet, beautiful princess, don't give all of yourself away to anyone. Protect yourself and move very slowly with everyone. You are your own precious jewel, keep yourself safe, love yourself, be patient with yourself. The higher your vision is for yourself, the higher others' view of you will be.

I am so happy you posted here, opened up and shared. You are lovable and sweet. I want you to go buy yourself a pretty notebook and start writing about the kind of woman you aspire to be and the life you want to live. I think that will be a nice start:yep:. God Bless You.

Everything is going to be okay for both of you.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the kind words. I have thought about counseling. I asked a friend if she thought I should seek help and she told me didn't need it. I know better...Once again you are right.

We as women tend to want things from a man, but in our heart we do not believe that we are worthy...I know that I have a lot of work to do on myself. I just hope that one day I can get to the place that you and many of the other women on here are in.

I don't know why I am like that. I have so much going for me, but I am failing on the relationship end. Ohhh, I'll get it together.:ohwell:
 
chokolate miss said:
Thank you for the kind words. I have thought about counseling. I asked a friend if she thought I should seek help and she told me didn't need it. I know better...Once again you are right.

We as women tend to want things from a man, but in our heart we do not believe that we are worthy...I know that I have a lot of work to do on myself. I just hope that one day I can get to the place that you and many of the other women on here are in.

I don't know why I am like that. I have so much going for me, but I am failing on the relationship end. Ohhh, I'll get it together.:ohwell:
Click to expand...

Hey chokolate miss, just remember not to compare yourself to others. Some of us may have a nice relationship but you are likely ahead of many of us in other areas. We all have an area(s) of weakness and areas of strength. I'm sure there are lots of things you could help me with:yep:. And remember the relationship thing is super hard to "master" because there are so many things that are out of your control whereas most things in life if you plan, think positive and dig in and persist, you will likely succeed, the relationship thing can be far more complicated.

And a lot of us didn't do anything special or magnificent to be coupled with someone, it just happened, we were in the right place at the right time and met the right guy--some of us were awfully lucky, not necessarily more skilled or anything like that. Just focus on improving your happiness and well-being and on having higher expectations of men, keep lifting your vision.
 
hopeful said:
Hey chokolate miss, just remember not to compare yourself to others. Some of us may have a nice relationship but you are likely ahead of many of us in other areas. We all have an area(s) of weakness and areas of strength. I'm sure there are lots of things you could help me with:yep:. And remember the relationship thing is super hard to "master" because there are so many things that are out of your control whereas most things in life if you plan, think positive and dig in and persist, you will likely succeed, the relationship thing can be far more complicated.

And a lot of us didn't do anything special or magnificent to be coupled with someone, it just happened, we were in the right place at the right time and met the right guy--some of us were awfully lucky, not necessarily more skilled or anything like that. Just focus on improving your happiness and well-being and on having higher expectations of men, keep lifting your vision.
Click to expand...

@ the bolded-that needs to become my new motto. Mind if I "borrow" that?! It's a great saying to keep in mind. I have a vision and I am going uphold it...I will repeat that daily...
 
chokolate miss said:
@ the bolded-that needs to become my new motto. Mind if I "borrow" that?! It's a great saying to keep in mind. I have a vision and I am going uphold it...I will repeat that daily...
Click to expand...

Borrow away!:)

Country gal said:
Beautifully worded. We know this but it is reassuring to hear it. We must take back our power.
Click to expand...

That's it Country gal, we must. We women cannot keep giving it away.

I love you guys, I can almost envision all of us holding hands or arms linked, lifting each other up.
 
Couldn't resist bumping this. I posted this thread two years ago around the same time of year. Spring is a time of renewal. If anyone is still hurting and struggling, please don't give up. If you need a therapist, get one. If you need a dating coach, get one. If you've been planning on going back to school, go. If you need to lose weight, get on that. And in the mean time, look your absolute best everyday. Cute hair, oufit, shoes, cute everything lol. Happy Spring ladies! Be happy:).
 
Thank you. I needed this so much. There was an interaction at a wedding a few months ago with a guy I liked who I thought liked me. I cam home and sobbed myself to sleep. I'm so tired of dealing with guys my age. :nono: I'm bitter at 21. :perplexed
 
I'm about to copy and paste this into my electronic journal. Thank you!

Very beautiful and something I definitely needed to hear. I'm not quite where I want to be yet in terms of eradicating negative thought patterns (bashing myself for past bad relationships, angry, bitter, comparing myself, thinking I'll never be good enough, etc), but I am slowly beginning to come around and I am definitely on the right path and I am happy and proud of that.
 
Thanks ladies! I am happy this is helpful:yep:. Even though I have sought out counseling over the years, I was still having troubles in certain areas of my life. I recently found a therapist who is like an angel. My God, I was still struggling because of the childhood abuse I had suffered. Y'all it was buried so deeply like in my bones. I feel like she is helping me on the deepest levels, like on a cellular level. I feel so happy. And I was pretty happy already but now I am more deeply happy and more secure. That is why I am encouraging everyone to not give up. The last time I was abused was nearly 40 years ago and I am still haunted. I was just so young and hurt so deeply. By now I could be dead or on drugs. But no, I am married with children and still healing. I deserve all the happy things I want and so do you guys. And men are wonderful, but seriously some of my greatest joys come deep inside of me and from simple pleasures that make my heart sing. Life is so beautiful. I don't want to waste another moment in pain. I'm ready to fly.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm racing toward it.
 
Last edited:
I'm so happy you ladies are enjoying this thread. Today I am cleaning and organizing my closet :yay:. I am having a ball. I absolutely love Spring and spring cleaning. It is wonderful to purge literally and metaphorically:yep:. Last night I deeply cleaned and organized my bathroom. I ended up with two large trashbags filled with all kinds of stuff. But the closet will be the best. I love getting my clothes and shoes all sorted and organized:). Do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself and your life--it is definitely worth the effort.
 
hopeful
This post still brings me to tears...I'm still on the healing journey. The advice you gave me two years is still on point. Healing comes in phases.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

N.P.R. Addict
The Serendipity Thread
Replies
1
Views
68
N.P.R. Addict
N.P.R. Addict
L
Why Do So Many Women Feel That They Don't Have A Choice/power?
Replies
28
Views
1K
fletgee
fletgee
MissYocairis
Spinny: Love YOURSELF FIRST....
2
Replies
35
Views
1K
BLESSED1
BLESSED1
M
I AM SO TIRED....
Replies
20
Views
690
FlowerHair
FlowerHair
M
Three Big Reasons You're Still Single
Replies
16
Views
883
Rastafarai
Rastafarai
Back
Top