LADY WITH BEAUTIFUL BLACK HAIR - Apology

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Laela

Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
Ladies,

I'm a bit troubled that the thread was closed due to a comment myself and another poster made expressing our doubts. I don't think my comments were "rude" or "uncivilized". The harshness of the responses to my comments were a bit much. In no way am I a "hater who slipped through the cracks". /images/graemlins/confused.gif

My intention was not to create animosity or ill will in this forum, but to merely express my opinions. But I do understand, in hindsight, that what I said probably wasn't the best thing to say. I had posted not realizing SherryLove had joined.

To the moderators, esp. PEBBLES, thank you for your tact and diplomacy in dealing with such a sensitive issue and for maintaining a peaceful forum. You ladies are the best, I swear! /images/graemlins/clap.gif But I would also like to believe that I and others can express our opinions without the threat of censorship.

Also, I've PM'd SherryLove and apologized personally. I'm sorry to have put up a thread, but the other thread was locked without my being able to even apologize or respond to any false accusations. I needed to get this off my chest.


Have a nice day all,
 
Hi Laela,

The reason I closed the thread was to regain peace and harmony as quickly as possible. The more people who read and responded to it, the faster the thread went downhill. So in an effort to keep the peace, I had to close it quickly.

I know that your intention was not to create any sort of animosity, really. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Sometimes our initial intent can be misinterprited by others, especially when it's in print.

You are gracious to apologize for any misunderstandings. There are those who really wouldn't care and would have no qualm in letting any hard feelings continue to brew. I applaud you.

I don't want you to think that I would keep you from expressing your opinion or respond to anything that may have been said, especially when you do it so politely. /images/graemlins/smile.gif I didn't see your name at the top of the screen and I wasn't sure if you would respond at all.

I consider it all water under the bridge now. You've made your apologies, and those who have a heart to, will accept it. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Peace. /images/graemlins/rosebud.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I consider it all water under the bridge now. You've made your apologies, and those who have a heart to, will accept it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pebbles: Now that the water is underneath "the bridge", will you reopen Mahialialee's thread? All the drama is all but gone, and it feels real funny to log on and see a LOCK on a post. I believe you've set a precedence, because I don't believe a 'lock' has ever be placed on a running thread on this site Like I said, I understood why you had to do it, but the drama is over /images/graemlins/smile.gif <font color="red"> It just doesn't look good I'm telling you, it just doesn't look good /images/graemlins/nono.gif</font>

Iris
 
Laela,

Your comments were not "rude and uncultured" like the one before you. You just stated your opinion and had doubts.
 
I thought the remarks made to you Laela were quite harsh too. You are indeed a lovely person for making this post because you were under no obligation to.

Take care /images/graemlins/Rose.gif
 
Hi Iris,

I did PM you, but for the benefit of the other members who may feel the same as you, I want to post my response here as well.

I understand how you feel. There have actually been 10 threads locked on the forum, and at least 6 deleted threads that I can recall. We may know it's over, but other members who log on at a later time may not know that this issue is over. For that reason, I think it's best it remains closed. If that whole issue is truly over with, then let's let the thread go.

I hope everyone can understand. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
londongirl, try to look at it this way. what if YOU posted pics of your hair and were invited to a forum where they commented on it and were reading how people thought you had a weave... how would you feel? i know some said it should be looked at as a compliment, but i don't look at it that way. for someone who has obviously been caring for their hair for quite some time, AND coming from women who all say they know long hair is possible (which is why they're here), i think it's a slap in the face... and a helluva way to be welcomed into this new forum that we invite her to... /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif

i'm just glad it's all over with now and that we can move on. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

adrienne
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
i'm just glad it's all over with now and that we can move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

DITTO!!!!
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
londongirl, try to look at it this way. what if YOU posted pics of your hair and were invited to a forum where they commented on it and were reading how people thought you had a weave... how would you feel? i know some said it should be looked at as a compliment, but i don't look at it that way. for someone who has obviously been caring for their hair for quite some time, AND coming from women who all say they know long hair is possible (which is why they're here), i think it's a slap in the face... and a helluva way to be welcomed into this new forum that we invite her to...

i'm just glad it's all over with now and that we can move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto Adrienne! I talked to Pebbles about this and told her I'm glad she locked that thread because I know folks would be arguing from sunup to sundown, trying to straighten folks out, giving one another a piece of their mind, etc. I feel particularly embarrassed since I raved about this forum to her and was the one who invited her to join /images/graemlins/mad.gif Everyone is entitled to their opinions, however, if a guest came to your home and was only there not even a whole day, just a few hours, would it be hospitable to start making negative comments about their hair or their person for that matter? I had assumed that everyone knew Sherry was joining, because I had posted her email at 11:55 a.m. There was a negative comment posted earlier. However, that second comment was made way after she joined and on the same thread that she already had posted on twice. Therefore, it was a case of very bad judgement because there was no reason under the sun to post any negativity on the same thread she posted <font color="red"> when clearly she had already posted twice.</font> When I logged back on and read what I read I couldn't believe my eyes /images/graemlins/shocked.gif Where was the hospitality? Where were the manners? <font color="red">I applaud you Pebbles for having the good taste to shut that thread down /images/graemlins/smile.gif</font> As everyone knows just by reading the email Sherry sent me, she is a very gracious person. I'm sure she's overlooked the whole thing because she's just that mature. Nevertheless, just because she's mature is not the point /images/graemlins/naughty.gif. Since we live and learn, I'm going to end with this: Freedom of expression and thought is one of our greatest gifts. But like any great gift, let's not abuse it. And regarding future "guests", if you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut /images/graemlins/wink.gif You have to develop the good common-sense to know, <font color="red">when to speak, and when to hold your peace /images/graemlins/up.gif</font>

~Amethyst~
 
Adrienne and Amethyst I agree with your posts 100%.
Pebbles thanks for dealing with the matter the way you did. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Thanks LondonDiva. And in all fairness I've learned a valuable lesson too. ValleyGirl had mentioned that it would be a good idea to ask the person before linking any photos. That's an excellent idea. I will make sure I do that the next time around /images/graemlins/smile.gif Though my motives and intentions weren't bad in posting her information, I was wrong, plain and simple. At the time CurlyCrly made her comment about Shelly's account, all I could think of was that I'm not trying to harm Shelly in anyway. I got offended at CurlyCrly. Her comments I felt at the time made it seem as if I was trying to hurt Shelly or something. I just wanted to help those who were having problems linking to her photos. And again, since that info was made public, I initially didn't see any harm. Like I said, ShellyLove has been extremely gracious in her response to this situation, BUT everyone is not SherryLove. In hindsight, this whole thing could have been ONE BIG MESS With a whole lot of /images/graemlins/arguing.gif going on. Not only with an individual peeved at me, but also with the individual and website owner mad at Beverly /images/graemlins/whyme.gif I don't even want to think about the repercussions with that! Pebbles mentioned finding out about website policies, which is an excellent idea /images/graemlins/smile.gif It would be wonderful to think everyone would have responded the way Sherry did but that isn't reality. Like I said in my previous post, we live and learn. I have already extended my apologies where warranted but this post is for every member at this forum to see. This way we can all benefit from the mistakes and corrections made by others.

Sincerely Submitted,
Amethyst
 
****You ladies are the best, I swear! But I would also like to believe that I and others can express our opinions without the threat of censorship.***

DITTO, DITTO, DITTO.. /images/graemlins/clap.gif
 
If I posted pics and everyone thought it was fake, I would feel completely complimented. It means it looks so good that it’s almost unbelievable, that’s the best compliment you could give me. I think the ladies who questioned the hair gave the best compliment of all. It’s better then the usual “You grow girl” or “you look fabulous keep of the good work”. Sometimes compliments like that seem like a formality and not as sincere.
 
Amethyst,

Thanks for the site you recommended to me. They have a nice henna thread running. For those who are interested, the webaddress is longhaircommunity.com It takes a big person to admit they were wrong, and I applaud you for it /images/graemlins/up.gif Also, your observations are well noted /images/graemlins/smile.gif I'm the type that rarely read fine print and wanted to link that henna thread here. But then I came across this on their site:

This web site and the message boards within are protected under Copyright to Stephanie Strauss, Dated January 1, 2003. Messages by Visiting Contributors are protected under Blanket Copyright, Dated January 1, 2003.
All images and graphics are Copyright of their respective owners. <font color="blue">Reproduction in any form, or use without express written consent of Stephanie Strauss and Contributors is strictly forbidden and punishable in a court of law. </font>

Girl, your admission to your error is sure timely! Somehow or another I overlook the fine print, but after your post, I know to read everything from cover to cover!
 
I agree with you Adrienne and Amethyst,

I personally felt embarrassed when I saw how the thread was going and it had nothing to do with me. I felt embarassed because I felt it was another thread gone bad that another new member had to see. I agree that we all should be able to voice our opinions because it's a part of sharing but there is a right and a wrong way to voice an opinion. From what I have seen with threads that have gone bad is that like you said...some people need to just keep things to themselves.

I applaud you Amethyst for your honest thoughts because many things you said have been thoughts that many of us have been thinking.
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I'm the type that rarely read fine print and wanted to link that henna thread here. But then I came across this on their site:

This web site and the message boards within are protected under Copyright to Stephanie Strauss, Dated January 1, 2003. Messages by Visiting Contributors are protected under Blanket Copyright, Dated January 1, 2003.
All images and graphics are Copyright of their respective owners. Reproduction in any form, or use without express written consent of Stephanie Strauss and Contributors is strictly forbidden and punishable in a court of law.



[/ QUOTE ]

Pebbles, I have a quick question. Alot of these current pics in the members signature and/or homepage may have the same website policy as the site above. What do you suggest the members do? Because I'm quite sure many of these signature images have been linked here without the owner's or websites permission. Also, I'm going to ask Beverly can we get a policy similar to the one above. This way, our forum is covered too /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Hi Iris,

It's probably a good idea that everyone checks to see if this is o.k with the website they linked the pictures from. Each site may have different rules, some may allow it, and some may not.

I think it's a great idea to ask Beverly about having a policy like this on the site, if we don't already have one, for those who do not want their pictures to be displayed without their permission on other sites. The public does have access to this forum, including pictures of members here. Some of our members may not want their pictures to be displayed without their permission, and that's understandable. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Definately contact Bev about a policy like that. I think a lot of people might want it. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
pebbles said:
Hi Iris,

It's probably a good idea that everyone checks to see if this is o.k with the website they linked the pictures from. Each site may have different rules, some may allow it, and some may not.

I think it's a great idea to ask Beverly about having a policy like this on the site, if we don't already have one, for those who do not want their pictures to be displayed without their permission on other sites. The public does have access to this forum, including pictures of members here. Some of our members may not want their pictures to be displayed without their permission, and that's understandable. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Definately contact Bev about a policy like that. I think a lot of people might want it. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Wow. What a great idea. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Pebbles, I have a quick question. Alot of these current pics in the members signature and/or homepage may have the same website policy as the site above. What do you suggest the members do? Because I'm quite sure many of these signature images have been linked here without the owner's or websites permission. Also, I'm going to ask Beverly can we get a policy similar to the one above. This way, our forum is covered too


[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Iris/images/graemlins/wave.gif

Your idea is fantastic. I want to use pics of my horses again in my signature, (I love those Arabian Stallions), and now would be the perfect time to seek out permission. As far as the members being covered as on longhaircommunity I think that idea is fantastic as well /images/graemlins/smile.gif I viewed Asha's album and her pics are copyrighted and I know that many of the members here would really appreciate that policy. As far as you catching the disclaimer at longhaircommunity, all I can say is thank goodness /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Amethyst
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Alot of these current pics in the members signature and/or homepage may have the same website policy as the site above. What do you suggest the members do? Because I'm quite sure many of these signature images have been linked here without the owner's or websites permission

[/ QUOTE ]

Iris brings up an excellent point and I really hope Monicurl can answer this. She knows internet law and protocol real well. This same exact topic came up on Nappturality and she had an excellect response...just can't remember it right now. Maybe someone can put out a Paging Monicurl thread in case she doesn't read this thread.

Valleygirl
 
Also it is very good idea to put a disclaimer on your homepage to your online album. An example of one:

PLEASE DO NOT download, copy, print, or save any of the photos. The photos are to remain on this site unless otherwise approved by me. Violators will be duly prosecuted! Thank you and take care! (from CaribMix's album)

She had a problem a few month's back...I am glad she is still willing to share.

My disclaimer says:

PLEASE READ: AS THE OWNER OF THESE PHOTOS PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE PICTURES ARE NOT TO BE DOWNLOADED, COPIED OR PRINTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. THESE PICTURES BELONG ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY. THANK YOU FOR VISITING AND ENJOY!

The person whoever takes the photo owns the picture and it is automatically copyrighted. (I think)

HTH
Valleygirl
 
Thanks ValleyGirl for mentioning that Monicurl is knowledgeable about internet law, because I have a few questions she may be able to help me with /images/graemlins/smile.gif


Amethyst
 
Hi everyone, if you choose to download or copy photos you do it at your own risk. Most sites tell you not to copy or reproduce there photos, but do you think companies have the time to investigate, arrest or fine everyone who does it. I really don't think this is the big issue some people are making it out to be. I think it curtious to ask someone before you post there picture, but no one can make anyone do that. If you decide to put your picture out on the web, it is to be expected that it may be used or seen by people you don't know. If you don't want to risk it at all, you should not put it on the web - that is the only way to prevent that from happening. Lets all take a deep breath /images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
I agree. Water under the bridge, Pebbles.. and thank you being such a gracious moderator!
 
You're welcome Laela. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Now, let's get back to hair care! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
(((((((( Mindy )))))))

I'm just glad it's over.... I think Pebbles did a great job handling this mess, don't ya think? /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Take care!
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
LuvableLady said:
If I posted pics and everyone thought it was fake, I would feel completely complimented. It means it looks so good that it&amp;#8217;s almost unbelievable, that&amp;#8217;s the best compliment you could give me. I think the ladies who questioned the hair gave the best compliment of all. It&amp;#8217;s better then the usual &amp;#8220;You grow girl&amp;#8221; or &amp;#8220;you look fabulous keep of the good work&amp;#8221;. Sometimes compliments like that seem like a formality and not as sincere.

[/ QUOTE ]

Very well said. /images/graemlins/clap.gifI don't believe in compromising my feelings for anyone. But if I realize someone was offended or hurt by it, I'll just as easily apologize. This situation is a classic example. I applaud you for being so keen.

Peace,
 
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
But if I realize someone was offended or hurt by it, I'll just as easily apologize. This situation is a classic example.

[/ QUOTE ] That's all anyone can ask of you. /images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
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