Ladies Who Met Their Husbands After Age 26

[Seeking8Rights]

WOW! You just knew he was 'the one' from the get-go? That's beautiful

After a few love sick headaches, yeah we both knew it. We knew going in that it would get bumpy, but we couldn't wait to get married. We did it all the "wrong" ways and just as happy as the day we first emailed each other. I caught Blackplanet on a good day.

Yes the ride was bumpy in the beginning and we could have split a few times, but at then of the day love is still on the table and that's what keeps us going. My marriage has outlived many of my friends who dated/courted for years before marrying.

This is the man, I will be standing next to in my walker.

 

[lesedi]

This is the man, I will be standing next to in my walker.

LOVE IT!!!!

 

[EMJazzy]

I met my husband when I was 34, got married when I was 35. Gave birth to our first child together at 37, gave birth to our second child together at 43 will be celebrating 9 years of marriage October 2011.

Sent from my DROIDX using DROIDX

 

[VelvetRain]

I met my husband @ work last year. (We are both Teachers) We met in March 2010 - We were engaged two months later- married three months after that. Our baby is now 4 months. Im 31 -he's 33

Another positive example it doesn't take a man 5,7,9 years to determine if he wants to marry you.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

Another positive example it doesn't take a man 5,7,9 years to determine if he wants to marry you.

Yup I agree....AND GUESS WHAT???

You CAN have sex on the first night!!!!!

SURPRISE!!!!!

 

[ambergirl]

lesedi, It just seems like every other thread is about fear....
singleness: fear
alone: fear...

Like really people, yalll scaried of ya selves... Most if not ALLL OF threads started by youngsters at that 21/26/etc... I mean youngsters...

The dreaded 30 is all I hear... I turned 30 this year so I may be bias, but I am like life doesn't end...

Starting to avoid these types of threads, bad for blood, kinda woe ish... tis all... Yea I do comment though, right....

Thanks Angel

I was tempted to write something similar. Just makes me sad that so many young women are worried about getting married (not a judgement on you at all Ledesi, just a general observation). When I was that age I was running away from the RING. Seriously it was the furtherest, furthest thing from my mind.

If marriage is an important goal it is important to keep that front and center along with other life goals but if I had any words of wisdom it would be to life your life fully and freely....you'll enjoy it more and not being hungry for marriage is often a man magnet.

 

[LoveisYou]

Yup I agree....AND GUESS WHAT???

You CAN have sex on the first night!!!!!

SURPRISE!!!!!

I don't think your experience is the norm though lol

 

[Britt]

I met my husband @ work last year. (We are both Teachers) We met in March 2010 - We were engaged two months later- married three months after that. Our baby is now 4 months. Im 31 -he's 33

I was 26 when I met my husband and we married when I was 26 too.....6 weeks later.

Almost 9 years ago.

@Seeking8Rights @ebonyhair
:wow: did you know sooo soon that he was the one? Was it a fairytale knowing or a practical feeling that you felt the two of you were very compatible????

---
Oopsy, I see that @Seeking8Rights answered already.

 

[Peppermynt]

After a few love sick headaches, yeah we both knew it. We knew going in that it would get bumpy, but we couldn't wait to get married. We did it all the "wrong" ways and just as happy as the day we first emailed each other. I caught Blackplanet on a good day.

Yes the ride was bumpy in the beginning and we could have split a few times, but at then of the day love is still on the table and that's what keeps us going. My marriage has outlived many of my friends who dated/courted for years before marrying.

This is the man, I will be standing next to in my walker.

Yump, yump!

 

[Sade]

I met DH when I was 26 we got married this year and I am 32 turning 33 soon.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

@Seeking8Rights @ebonyhair
:wow: did you know sooo soon that he was the one? Was it a fairytale knowing or a practical feeling that you felt the two of you were very compatible????

---
Oopsy, I see that @Seeking8Rights answered already.

Yeah we both new right away, it was just weird and organic at the same time. When were dating for the short period of time we did, we would talk about having a child together, what would the name be, etc. Two years after getting married, we had our girl and named her as we discussed.

The first time my mom met him, she knew he was the one. She said she just knew it. And I knew it, it was like we knew each other and we were reuniting. It was just too easy and comfortable. It's really hard to explain, especially with the headaches when he left during the week day. We lived 4 hours away, so after the weekends where he would come visit me, when he left it just felt odd. We would talk every night and watch TV for hours on the phone together...just breathing in each others ear. We would be on the phone surfing the internet in silence.

I had a really good support system, so when he flew in, my mom or my son's father's parents would keep my son. I was really trying to get to know him as much as I could before introducing him to my son. And when they did meet, they connected like glue. There wasn't much time thereafter when we got married.

I did check him out in terms of asking about credit (we pulled each others credit reports around week 3). Actually now that I think about this, we married in 8 weeks from the time we physically saw each other, talked for two weeks before that. When I visited him on base he introduced me to his boss, friends and coworkers and gathered as much information as I could from them from stories they would tell about working with him etc.

Anyways, I asked for a confirmed clean of STD and AID/HIV test and so did he. We exchanged that info.

Now I made the mistake when I didn't ask about or meet my Mother In-Law.

 

[LaBelleLL]

GREAT thread lesedi. 27 years old checking in.
not too worried yet. i was worried when i was 26 and looking for a distraction as my 1st yr of law school was kicking my butt. these days, i'm just focusing on other things and on being the kind of woman i'd admire.

 

[CurleeDST]

I met my DH when I was 29 and he was 33. We got married 3 years later and have 2 children. He was single and no children when we met.

I just want to know how many of you met your DH's when you were age 26 and over.
I'm 26, recently single and becoming more and more aware that my life plan with regards to family (married and baby at 29) is getting harder and harder to keep up with...
Most of the people i know who are married, met their spouses in their teens or early 20's. Clearly i can't rewind life.
I just want to know how old you were when you met the man of your dreams...and how oldyou were when you married him.

Thanks girlies

 

[Seeking8Rights]

I will say that many will say that my decision was unsafe, but you have to consider the times. Today, I wouldn't recommend it because folks are more crazier ever, so you really have to be careful.

 

[lushcoils]

I think the bigger question which needs to be answered is why does it take black women much longer to find that partner if they manage to do so at all?

I think one of the reasons is because many bw are told to live their life and not worry about it; their king will come. I don't think other groups of women as a whole are given this advice; they are encouraged to be proactive in their search ASAP. Not saying one way is better than the other though....

There are other reasons of course, but they've already been discussed many times.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

I think one of the reasons is because many bw are told to live their life and not worry about it; their king will come. I don't think other groups of women as a whole are given this advice; they are encouraged to be proactive in their search ASAP. Not saying one way is better than the other though....

There are other reasons of course, but they've already been discussed many times.

I agree. For some reason we are afraid to communicate that we are in search of a husband. But more importantly, not many black men will receive it well either.

I have came across more white men who have verbalized that they are looking for a wife. Same for white women. So I guess it's not a part of our culture?

I do think you have to communicate your intentions sooner rather than later....that way you know who your dealing with.

 

[HWAY]

I met my husband when I was 31 years old and a single mother. We began dating when I was 32 and married when I was 35 years old. My husband made it clear that he was
looking for a serious relationship from the beginning and his family embraced my daughter. I also knew right away that this man was husband material.

 

[carcajada]

I'm seeing this more and more as I get older. A lot of the couples I know that married before thier 30's are divorcing in their 50's.

I see that too. My theory is heavily based on men needing to be older when they marry.

 

[carcajada]

I met my husband @ work last year. (We are both Teachers) We met in March 2010 - We were engaged two months later- married three months after that. Our baby is now 4 months. Im 31 -he's 33

My friend did the same thing. It's like they've been together forever, though. They get along and flow so much easily than other couples who have been together almost a decade *cough me and dh*. I truly think there are people who are super lucky and find their soul mate immediately.

 

[VelvetRain]

I think one of the reasons is because many bw are told to live their life and not worry about it; their king will come. I don't think other groups of women as a whole are given this advice; they are encouraged to be proactive in their search ASAP. Not saying one way is better than the other though....

There are other reasons of course, but they've already been discussed many times.

Yeah I know. Just thinking out loud again. There are many many reasons. It's still worthy of a discussion on occasion. The reality is that the window to find a quality mate meaning one who hasn't become jaded on life and coming with a ton of issues is still really short lived for women. Men really have no said urgency to marry. They can be that 45 year old man and still find some woman who will be willing to marry them. It's completely different for women in that arena.

 

[VelvetRain]

I agree. For some reason we are afraid to communicate that we are in search of a husband. But more importantly, not many black men will receive it well either.

I have came across more white men who have verbalized that they are looking for a wife. Same for white women. So I guess it's not a part of our culture?

I do think you have to communicate your intentions sooner rather than later....that way you know who your dealing with.

Hmmm I see things a bit different. I don't think that is the norm among most black men. Many I know personally are great men and are actively looking for a wife. However the women they are meeting specifically black women are not what they really want in terms of their mentality and demeanor. I will say that alot of how men view marriage largely depends on their upbringing. Just look at white folks who grew up in a two parent and loving household. They viewed the value of marriage. It's like they have something to aspire to have in their own life at some point. It's vastly different today with the high percentage of black children being born to single black mothers. Already starting out of the gate there is no father in the home. Hard as a black man to really view marriage has something you had to experience in life when you were raised in a home with a single parent.

It's sad but a real reality for alot of black men today. I don't believe it's largely due to the perceived idea of them not wanting to committ. Alot of it stems from your background.

 

[PrincessScorpion]

Ok, don't hate me because I'm being sincere here... but it seems like because you decided to get married at 45 you downplayed those (including me) who chose to get married in their 20s.

Idk, could be the rainy weather having a sister all sensitive. But I think you trying to uplift OP by telling her to wait, you didn't have to downplay the rest of us who met our mates in our 20s by saying most of your friends who got married in their 20s are on their second marriage.

I am not downplaying the rest of you all , but I do know that my friends had no business getting married in there 20's because they were not ready. They were doing it because that is what everyone else was doing at the time. I will say I do have one friend that is on her 3rd marriage.

I just know I did not want to get married in my 20's and I was not going to cave into peer pressure. The first time I was proposed to by someone I was 24 and he later asked me again when I was 27. I was proposed to by someone else when I was 32. So no I was not concerned about marriage and knew I was not ready at any of those times. I was happy being single with companionship.

 

[SoSwanky]

DH's parent met at 12 and 13. They married at 20 and 21. They are still married today.

My parents met in their late teens. They married at 21 and 24. They just celibrated 42 years of marriage this past July.

DH and I met each other in grade school. We ended up going to high school together. We never dated, as we didn't like each other at.all. We went our separate ways after graduation. We met back up at age 22 and formed a friendship. After a few years, we started dating at 27. He proposed later in the year and we married the following year.

Don't rush, OP. Enjoy your time now, but make allowances for later.
This is coming from a lady who didn't think that she would ever find someone worth my hand in marriage .

 

[softblackcotton]

I met my wonderful hubby when I was 46, and we got married just before my 50th birthday. We just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary .

This is a great story and many congrats, but that is a REALLY late time in life marry for the first time. No offense.

I was 26 when I met my husband and we married when I was 26 too.....6 weeks later.

Almost 9 years ago.

Wow! I couldn't do it. Your story is extraordinary and RARE!

 

[wednesday]

I can't give my life as an example, but my mother's. She and my father met when they were 28, and got married when they were 29. A few of her younger sisters and friends had even already got married.

Fast forward almost 30 years - almost all of the people who got married before her are now divorced. Her and my father by NO means have a perfect marriage - but they are still together.

isioma85

My parents are the same. Met at 28 married at 29 first child at 31 and they had 4 more children. They just celebrated their 35th anniversary.

 

[isioma85]

@isioma85

My parents are the same. Met at 28 married at 29 first child at 31 and they had 4 more children. They just celebrated their 35th anniversary.

My parents have 4 children She popped out me and my sister a few years after their wedding, then 10 years later at 40 had my little sister and little brother.

 

[caltron]

I agree. For some reason we are afraid to communicate that we are in search of a husband. But more importantly, not many black men will receive it well either.

I have came across more white men who have verbalized that they are looking for a wife. Same for white women. So I guess it's not a part of our culture?

I do think you have to communicate your intentions sooner rather than later....that way you know who your dealing with.

Yeah, it seems black women are very reluctant to admit that we want to be married. White women have been conditioned to think of college as a good time to at least meet their future husbands. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. College is the only time when you are going to be around large numbers of suitable, never married men, around your age without having to seek them out. After you get a job, just about all of the men you are around are already married.

The thing is, everyone automatically assumes that a woman wants marriage no matter what you say, especially after you hit 30. So I don't see what the harm is in saying that you're looking to get married?

 

[Zuleika]

Great thread.

 

[aribell]

I’m reading “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb and it’s really good. I find myself LMAO throughout the chapters because in the past, I’ve rejected guys based on their taste in literature, manner of running, and silly little things that don’t add any value in a long-term partnership.

Her article in The Atlantic bothered me, and still bothers me. It's probably because I don't think it's about settling so much as having a proper attitude within oneself in viewing men. I think women cause themselves unnecessary difficulty by making it about settling and it introduces the whole "should I have to settle?" question. But just because I always imagined a man who is 6'3", doesn't mean I'm settling because the one I marry is only 5'11". I think in the end she came to a decent conclusion, but I think women have to recognize when they are themselves superficial, judgmental, snobbish, etc., and work on those negative inner traits which are causing them to think poorly of good men. It's not that they have to accept "less than" husbands, it's that they need to readjust their own attitude about what a good man is and be able to genuinely appreciate him as such. JMO.

I was 26 when I met my husband and we married when I was 26 too.....6 weeks later.

Almost 9 years ago.

WOW.

____________________________________

My own 26-year old unmarried 2 cents is that being purposeful and deliberate in your dating is very different than feeling rushed or anxious about getting married. Anxiety and haste only compromise good decisionmaking. It's important to be purposeful and active, but equally important to maintain your peace of mind, personal contentment, and sense of direction in life (outside of becoming a wife/mother).

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

I met my husband when I was 30. We got married this year. I am 33.