Ladies Who Met Their Husbands After Age 26
- Thread starter lesedi
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cocosweet
Well-Known Member
Caltron,
We could be twins. By the time I realized I really did want to do the marriage and kids thing, my twenties were over. I had long established that any kids I had needed to be here by my 40th birthday and I didn't have any serious contenders for a good while. When it happened it happened quick.
caltron
Well-Known Member
Great thread OP....I'm 28 and wondering the same thing
For the most part I'm enjoying being single...but the pressure coming my Nigerian mother and my friends can get a little annoying.
From the previous posters I've noticed that the older they were when the met, the shorter the courting time was before they married. Very interesting...do you ladies think it's because you had more knowledge of self?
Yeah, I definitely think that as you mature, you don't need a lot of time for courtship. You already know what you like and don't like and what you need out of a relationship--you've already "found" yourself. You've already had an opportunity to live the carefree single lifestyle so both you and the man will be ready to settle down. Also, your tolerance for BS goes down so you're able to weed out duds more quickly.
By the time I got in my 30's, I was able to assess marriage potential in the first month of the relationship.
LaBelle Africaine29
Well-Known Member
I turn 25 in five months. Do I feel a sense of urgency about marriage? You damn right I do (said in Jack Nicholson’s angry voice in “A Few Good Men.”) I think it’s ill-advised to tell young women “not to rush things.” Your twenties are your prime dating years when you have an array of options. Folks are pairing off left and right. You're out of college, and your opportunity to meet eligible bachelors dwindles. I’m happy for those who found marriage in their 40s, but honestly, I don't plan on sitting it out for that long.
I’m reading “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb and it’s really good.
I find myself LMAO throughout the chapters because in the past, I’ve rejected guys based on their taste in literature, manner of running, and silly little things that don’t add any value in a long-term partnership. 
I have a long list of "must haves" because I bring a lot of things to the table. I don't plan on "settling" at all, but I've learned to be more flexible.
I feel you OP.
I’m reading “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb and it’s really good.
I find myself LMAO throughout the chapters because in the past, I’ve rejected guys based on their taste in literature, manner of running, and silly little things that don’t add any value in a long-term partnership. I have a long list of "must haves" because I bring a lot of things to the table. I don't plan on "settling" at all, but I've learned to be more flexible.
I feel you OP.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I turn 25 in five months. Do I feel a sense of urgency about marriage? You damn right I do (said in Jack Nicholson’s angry voice in “A Few Good Men.”) I think it’s ill-advised to tell young women “not to rush things.” Your twenties are your prime dating years when you have an array of options. Folks are pairing off left and right. You're out of college, and your opportunity to meet eligible bachelors dwindles. I’m happy for those who found marriage in their 40s, but honestly, I don't plan on sitting it out for that long.
I’m reading “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb and it’s really good.
I have a long list of "must haves" because I bring a lot of things to the table. I don't plan on "settling" at all, but I've learned to be more flexible.
I feel you OP.
now the bolded is a bit extreme, dare I say a little too picky
that'd be a problem for any man or woman at any age lolETA: about folks pairing off--amongst my personal circle, the average marrying age is 28-33 for the women and the men. Most of don't get married until they finish graduate school, which is about that time. I don't feel behind in age at all because the only people I know getting married are older than me. You should have seen these very people at the ages of 24-26, a HAM--to say the least!
The women were boo-hooing over some college boyfriend that wouldnt commit and the men were still out chasing biddies lol A lot can change in a matter of a year or two in your twenties and early thirties IMO Also, the few people that I personally know that got married before 25 are all on the brink of divorce, except for 2. I think stats put that age group at the divorce rate of about 50%, even higher for many once you consider familial background, socioeconomic status etc....
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I turn 25 in five months. Do I feel a sense of urgency about marriage? You damn right I do (said in Jack Nicholson’s angry voice in “A Few Good Men.”) I think it’s ill-advised to tell young women “not to rush things.” Your twenties are your prime dating years when you have an array of options. Folks are pairing off left and right. You're out of college, and your opportunity to meet eligible bachelors dwindles. I’m happy for those who found marriage in their 40s, but honestly, I don't plan on sitting it out for that long.
I’m reading “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb and it’s really good.
I have a long list of "must haves" because I bring a lot of things to the table. I don't plan on "settling" at all, but I've learned to be more flexible.
I feel you OP.
true, "the young supple years" lol
I just want to know how many of you met your DH's when you were age 26 and over.
I'm 26, recently single and becoming more and more aware that my life plan with regards to family (married and baby at 29) is getting harder and harder to keep up with...
Most of the people i know who are married, met their spouses in their teens or early 20's. Clearly i can't rewind life.
I just want to know how old you were when you met the man of your dreams...and how oldyou were when you married him.
Thanks girlies
I was 27 and married at 28.
LaBelle Africaine29
Well-Known Member
now the bolded is a bit extreme, dare I say a little too picky
ETA: about folks pairing off--amongst my personal circle, the average marrying age is 28-33 for the women and the men. Most of don't get married until they finish graduate school, which is about that time.
So? And? For a very long time I side-eyed guys who do not read certain publications because it revealed a lack of awareness about global affairs. You lost points if you named "The Alchemist" as a favorite book. Yes, you and everyone in the world. C'mon buddy. Let's be a little original. Oh and if you run as if you're wearing an adult diaper? Forget IT.
Terrible. Glad I snapped out of that.
Too bad they ran off Bunny777. She's so good at this type of talk. She was the one to recommend a really good book, "First Come Marriage."
You and your hubby actually do not need to share similar interests, taste in stuff, etc. The most important things are shared values, financial health, humor, kindness, and mutual attraction. Of course my grandmother has been saying this for years, but I just ignore her.
My social circle is very international with most of my friends coming from very cosmopolitan, but traditional cultures (Arab, African, Indian, Jewish). Most are married between ages 24 - 26 - right before law school, med school, etc.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
So? And? For a very long time I side-eyed guys who do not read certain publications because it revealed a lack of awareness about global affairs. You lost points if you named "The Alchemist" as a favorite book. Yes, you and everyone in the world. C'mon buddy. Let's be a little original. Oh and if you run as if you're wearing an adult diaper? Forget IT.
Terrible. Glad I snapped out of that.
Too bad they ran off Bunny777. She's so good at this type of talk. She was the one to recommend a really good book, "First Come Marriage."
You and your hubby actually do not need to share similar interests, taste in stuff, etc. The most important things are shared values, financial health, humor, kindness, and mutual attraction. Of course my grandmother has been saying this for years, but I just ignore her.
My social circle is very international with most of my friends coming from very cosmopolitan, but traditional cultures (Arab, African, Indian, Jewish). Most are married between ages 24 - 26 - right before law school, med school, etc.
o ok.
glad you handled that.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
The thought of sharing my life and finances and being with the same person through trials and tribulations for the long haul is quite scary to me
Not to say that I wouldn't get married if the right guy came along, but my feelings about marriage have changed significantly over the years, especially the past 2 or 3.
Natty_Virgo
Well-Known Member
I met my husband at 27 and we got married when I was 28. I am now 32, I don't think age matters much, don't stress it. I though people usually get married after 30 I figured I married young lol.
lesedi
All is well with me
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VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
It's that time of the year. Happens every year as we proceed towards the fall and holidays.
AnjelLuvs
Well-Known Member
lesedi, It just seems like every other thread is about fear....
singleness: fear
alone: fear...
Like really people, yalll scaried of ya selves... Most if not ALLL OF threads started by youngsters at that 21/26/etc... I mean youngsters...
The dreaded 30 is all I hear... I turned 30 this year so I may be bias, but I am like life doesn't end...
Starting to avoid these types of threads, bad for blood, kinda woe ish... tis all... Yea I do comment though, right....
lesedi
All is well with me
lesedi, It just seems like every other thread is about fear....
singleness: fear
alone: fear...
Like really people, yalll scaried of ya selves... Most if not ALLL OF threads started by youngsters at that 21/26/etc... I mean youngsters...
The dreaded 30 is all I hear... I turned 30 this year so I may be bias, but I am like life doesn't end...
Starting to avoid these types of threads, bad for blood, kinda woe ish... tis all... Yea I do comment though, right....
okay, really wasn't meant to be a negative or debbie-downer type thread. But i do have fears and i like to share them with other women and get feedback and advice from people who may know more than me....
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
Seriously dating today is far different than it was when many of our parents were dating, falling in love and getting married. The rules for dating have also changed. Men are being pickier and pickier on what they will and will not tolerate in terms of selecting a mate(honestly I don't blame them)
My parents were both 27 years old when they had me and truly dated and got to know each other for two years prior to that. I'm way past that age in my mid 30's with no children which I honestly don't care to have anyway. I think it becomes more important to focus on truly finding that quality person and not getting so wrapped in the age factor. Personally I would be happier sitting it out for a bit longer and possibly finding that right person in my 40's than settling for some so-so dude now.
I think the bigger question which needs to be answered is why does it take black women much longer to find that partner if they manage to do so at all? Compare that to white women who seem to have no problem getting paired up and married in their early to mid twenties. I look at my graduating high school class from more than a decade ago. Almost all of the white girls are married with children and have been for years. There is a very high percentage of black girls from my class that have never been married.
My parents were both 27 years old when they had me and truly dated and got to know each other for two years prior to that. I'm way past that age in my mid 30's with no children which I honestly don't care to have anyway. I think it becomes more important to focus on truly finding that quality person and not getting so wrapped in the age factor. Personally I would be happier sitting it out for a bit longer and possibly finding that right person in my 40's than settling for some so-so dude now.
I think the bigger question which needs to be answered is why does it take black women much longer to find that partner if they manage to do so at all? Compare that to white women who seem to have no problem getting paired up and married in their early to mid twenties. I look at my graduating high school class from more than a decade ago. Almost all of the white girls are married with children and have been for years. There is a very high percentage of black girls from my class that have never been married.
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VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
BTW lesedi I am glad you posted this. It's not your normal have a pity party for me I can't find a man thread that is usually posted on here as the late.
@lesedi, It just seems like every other thread is about fear....
singleness: fear
alone: fear...
Like really people, yalll scaried of ya selves... Most if not ALLL OF threads started by youngsters at that 21/26/etc... I mean youngsters...
The dreaded 30 is all I hear... I turned 30 this year so I may be bias, but I am like life doesn't end...
Starting to avoid these types of threads, bad for blood, kinda woe ish... tis all... Yea I do comment though, right....
just a symptom of our general society....women aren't really valued unless married, ya'll know this.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
AnjelLuvs
Well-Known Member
Girl you do not have to apologize, you paid your $6.50 just like I, just pointing out a trend on forum... Like wow ladies, yall got time don't think like that, focus on life, goals, hobbies, something than not having a man...
Shoot, yall stay like that and you will be like me 30 NO MAN
AHHH LORD WHHYYYYYY, throws hands up and leaves thread...
Shoot, yall stay like that and you will be like me 30 NO MAN
AHHH LORD WHHYYYYYY, throws hands up and leaves thread...
LaBelle Africaine29
Well-Known Member
Maracujá
It’s by Reva Seth, a Canadian-Indian journalist.
http://www.amazon.com/First-Comes-M...=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315518875&sr=1-2
The first line of this readers' review summarizes the entire content.
"This book does not promote arranged marriages, but it boils them down to some key concepts that can help people enter marriage with more realistic expectations which will then allow them to be happier within their marriage"
I really enjoyed it.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
Girl you do not have to apologize, you paid your $6.50 just like I, just pointing out a trend on forum... Like wow ladies, yall got time don't think like that, focus on life, goals, hobbies, something than not having a man...
Shoot, yall stay like that and you will be like me 30 NO MAN
AHHH LORD WHHYYYYYY, throws hands up and leaves thread...
Girl you crazy. Laughs at screaming baby in post. Seriously I think we as women worry too much over stuff we don't have complete control over. I remember being 12 years old and me and my bff swore we would be married by the glorious age of 25. 25 has come and gone for us both and were both still single as a dollar bill. We laugh about it all the time though. It honestly has taken me to my mid 30's to finallly meet a quality person of substance that I am steadily dating where we are both dancing around the subject of major committment and marriage. Can't say what the future will predict for sure but I can certainly say I'm not pressed about it.
Im 31 -he's 33
Seeking8Rights
New Member
I was 26 when I met my husband and we married when I was 26 too.....6 weeks later.
Almost 9 years ago.
Almost 9 years ago.
lesedi
All is well with me
I was 26 when I met my husband and we married when I was 26 too.....6 weeks later.
Almost 9 years ago.
WOW! You just knew he was 'the one' from the get-go? That's beautiful
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