Ladies Who Met Their Husbands After Age 26

lesedi

lesedi

All is well with me
I just want to know how many of you met your DH's when you were age 26 and over.
I'm 26, recently single and becoming more and more aware that my life plan with regards to family (married and baby at 29) is getting harder and harder to keep up with...
Most of the people i know who are married, met their spouses in their teens or early 20's. Clearly i can't rewind life.
I just want to know how old you were when you met the man of your dreams...and how oldyou were when you married him.

Thanks girlies:grin:
 
I can't give my life as an example, but my mother's. She and my father met when they were 28, and got married when they were 29. A few of her younger sisters and friends had even already got married.

Fast forward almost 30 years - almost all of the people who got married before her are now divorced. Her and my father by NO means have a perfect marriage - but they are still together.
 
:lachen:

I think it's part of why I don't worry. I'm really enjoying being single and I'm 26 this year.
 
I just got married for the first time and I am 45. When I was in my 20's I did not want to get married and majority of my friends that did are now on their 2nd marriage. Girl do not sweat it! It will come don't rush it. :yep::grin:
 
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PrincessScorpion said:
I just got married for the first time and I am 45. When I was in my 20's I did not want to get married and majority of my friends that did are now on their s2nd marriage. Girl do not sweat it! It will come don't rush it. :yep::grin:
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If it's not too personal to ask, did you want kids when you were in your 20's?

I'm not so much worried about the husband part, but I just remember my mom having so many miscarriages in her early 30's and I guess its part of the reason I worry about meeting someone before the end of my 20s.
 
dannie said:
If it's not too personal to ask, did you want kids when you were in your 20's?

I'm not so much worried about the husband part, but I just remember my mom having so many miscarriages in her early 30's and I guess its part of the reason I worry about meeting someone before the end of my 20s.
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I knew I was not ready for kids in my 20's. I liked taking my little cousins out and friends kids, but when I was tired of them I knew I could take them home. I did not have my son until I was 36.
 
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Nice thread OP. Im 32 now and being single stinks...Im not rushing anything, but I would like companionship in my life now. The older I get, it seem harder to be optimistic about meeting someone but I do know that these things can happen when you least expect it. All my bride to be friends ( I have three now who will be married in the next 6-12 months) are all btwn 26-30 years old.
 
OP, you have some time. 26 is not old by any means at all. You still have time to meet your future DH. I won't lie, when I was 26/27, I was calculating things like you, thinking I'd meet my future DH at 27 ish and probably married or engaged by 29. I just really had a picture of how I figured things would somehow turn out for me. I was very adamant about settling down and getting married.
Now I'm 29 and not sure if my current SO will be my future DH, only time will tell. Oddly, while I'd like to settle down and get married, I don't feel as pressed as I did when I was say.. 27. Even sharing my life with my current SO seems new to me. Things just aren't as linear as we'd plan sometimes.
 
I met my husband at age 28 and got married age 30. I am actually surprised I got married so young (actually I am surprised I got married at all).
 
I met my husband when I was 23. We were friends for a few years before we started dating. We started dating when I was 26 and got married when I was 29.
 
Met hubby at 30 and got married at 31 1/2. :lol: We both never wanted to get married but our personalities matched so well we both said 'what the heck!' and jumped the broom.
 
The thought of sharing my life and finances and being with the same person through trials and tribulations for the long haul is quite scary to me :look:. Knowing that every decision and move I make will affect my family unit, not just me makes me a bit uneasy, having to spice up the coloring so that things don't get stale ... I def think at 26/27 I had more of a romanticized view of marriage.... ehhh, not so much anymore.
 
PrincessScorpion said:
I just got married for the first time and I am 45. When I was in my 20's I did not want to get married and majority of my friends that did are now on their 2nd marriage. Girl do not sweat it! It will come don't rush it. :yep::grin:
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Ok, don't hate me because I'm being sincere here... but it seems like because you decided to get married at 45 you downplayed those (including me) who chose to get married in their 20s.

Idk, could be the rainy weather having a sister all sensitive. :lol: But I think you trying to uplift OP by telling her to wait, you didn't have to downplay the rest of us who met our mates in our 20s by saying most of your friends who got married in their 20s are on their second marriage.
 
All i can say is I'm about to be 32 and i'm single. When i was 26 i thought i would have been married already but that didn't happen. I think it happened for a reason. I have learned to take the timeline off my life and just ride it out. It will happen you have a lot of time.
 
Girl I was about to come in here and agree with you and say the struggle is real. But I instantly disqualified myself being that I am only 20 :look: I am interested in the answers. BTW you are so pretty lesedi
 
isioma85 said:
:lachen:

I think it's part of why I don't worry. I'm really enjoying being single and I'm 26 this year.
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I'm right with you, I turned 26 this year too.... I'm in a relationship but I enjoy being single, as in not married, for the time being. I know myself and I am my mother's daughter so I know I'll get the married thing done somewhere before my early thirties, maybe earlier than that...who knows....

funny thing was, I felt more anxious, panicked and on a time clock when I was 22-24 than I do now. In my haste, I almost married the wrong person.... Despite being surrounded by weddings lately--I just got back from a destination wedding, I no longer feel this invisible pressure so I'm much better able to relax and enjoy courtship. I'm finally reaching a place where I feel much more content and comfortable in my own skin, when it happens, it happens. If it doesn't oh well, I'll K.I.M.--but it will happen eventually, until then I'm chilling.
 
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Met DH (in Las Vegas no less at a business conference - and we actually lived in the same state about 20 minutes from each other) when I was 41. He was 45 and divorced with 2 kids that lived with him full time. We knew the day we met that we'd found the right one. We dated exclusively from then on until we got engaged at Christmas the following year.

I honestly thought that I would never get married once I reached my 40s. I too had these plans that I'd meet the right guy in my 20s, get married and have kids in my late 20s/early 30s. Once that window passed, and I got more comfortable being single (and accustomed to the way I ran my household :) I just assumed that ship had sailed.

It took meeting my DH who is my perfect match - I'm not a big believer in destiny in general, but I do think that on some level, DH and I were meant to be together. We fit each other too well, personality, home life, long-term outlook/goals, politics, and a host of other issues.

I remember people telling me when I was panicky and all my friends were getting married to calm down, enjoy/learn what *I* want out of life and the right guy will come along. So I tried to focus on me and who I wanted to become.

It took a while but he was worth the wait. :heart3:
 
I'm still single and well past the age I thought I would have gotten married. My advice as an older sister - please don't worry about it. Live your life! If you meet a worthy candidate then you know what steps to take as you move forward (ie don't let someone use up all your prime years with promises of tomorrow - eat **** or get off the pot).

I've watched too many friends that did the freak out rebound marriage/kid because it HAD to be done by 30 (or 35). When you let your fears take control you end up making sacrifices that will not keep you happy in the long run. Love happens when it happens. Be what you want to attract.
 
My sis met both her ex-husband and current husband after 26. Her current husband she met at 38 (educated, makes great money in managerial corp job, no kids, 2 years younger than her). He is a keeper I believe.
 
isioma85 said:
I can't give my life as an example, but my mother's. She and my father met when they were 28, and got married when they were 29. A few of her younger sisters and friends had even already got married.

Fast forward almost 30 years - almost all of the people who got married before her are now divorced. Her and my father by NO means have a perfect marriage - but they are still together.
Click to expand...

I'm seeing this more and more as I get older. A lot of the couples I know that married before thier 30's are divorcing in their 50's.
 
I met dh at age 33 and married at 34. At 26 you still have a lot of time BUT...the years are going to start going by quickly. If you know you want to be married and have kids, IMO your mid twenties are the time you need to be more *purposeful* in your dating. No more wasting time in dead end relationships at this stage. I'm not saying that it's the time to get desperate, because it's still more important that you're ready mentally, financially, etc., but at the same time, biological clocks are a reality for women.

I didn't really get serious about dating and getting married until I was about 32 and I felt a little rushed. For most people it takes at a minimum a few months to find a good guy, and then a few more months to really get to know him, and then a few more months before the actually wedding date. This took two years for me.

Then we only had a few months before trying for a baby, and we started when I was 35 and I had dd when I was 36. If I want her to have siblings and to be done having babies around 40, I'll have to crank up the baby factory again in the next few months. I didn't get a whole lot of time to just enjoy being married to dh and not a whole lot of time to space the kids.

If I had started this process five years ago, I wouldn't have felt as rushed.
 
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Aww you're only 26 years old and you are very young. Go out and have fun and don't worry about relationships. Yeah I know its easy for me to say.

I met DH at 32 and we were married at age 33. Now I'm a big advocate on don't look for a relationship, have fun and it'll come to you. I wish you luck!
 
lesedi, I completely sympathize with you. I just turned 29 this summer and thought I would be married with at least one child by now. I am trying not to drive myself crazy stressin about it tho...
 
Great thread OP....I'm 28 and wondering the same thing :look:

For the most part I'm enjoying being single...but the pressure coming my Nigerian mother and my friends can get a little annoying.

From the previous posters I've noticed that the older they were when the met, the shorter the courting time was before they married. Very interesting...do you ladies think it's because you had more knowledge of self?
 
I'm 23. I want to be married by 27 or 28ish and have kids by 30. That leaves me a good three years to find someone and to be quite honest, I'm nervous but we just have to live life and not worry about it too much. 26 is still young in my opinion.
 
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