Ladies are any of you fearful of...

[Energist]

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer? I live in an area of Oklahoma where a lot of Black women don't take care of their hair to the point that they will look at my hair and search for a weave track What makes it worse, is that White and Native people over here are convinced that Black hair doesn't grow, to where they will stare at my hair and search for a track as well. It's either that or they assume you're not all Black! I personally think it's ridiculous, because I still feel that my hair is in the baby stages of getting long, compared to many women on this board and would wonder what some of these women would do if they saw some of the head of hair on you ladies. Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

Anyways, I'd like to be happy about my progress without feeling self conscious about it, but I don't know how. I smile and try to be friendly out of nerves, but I don't always get a smile in return. Am I making sense to you ladies?? Do any of you go through these fears or am I being irrational?

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I don't think it's unfounded or irrational. Women are sometimes catty and can really hate when their just jealously. Hopefully nothing happens to your hair, but the comment behind you back, and looking for weave tracks I think just comes with being a black female with longer hair.
I get both back handed comments, and questions about what I do and what they can do. It just depends on the woman.

 

[shynessqueen]

I nerved worried about it before, I am/was OK with getting the weave check. Until one day I was talking to a co-worker who is a RN. I was asking her my RN questions about how is it once your in nursing program. She told me something i never though about before. She told me when your going to your nursing class and you have a BW professor you should down play your looks until you find out how she feels about other BW. She said when she was in nursing school the professor would pick on the women who walk in to class with long hair and well dress. They would make them work the hardest and still gave them a lower grade because they didn't like them. This is scare because they hold your grade in their hands and will use that as a way to get at you because they are jealous of your looks.

 

[IMFOCSD]

other women becoming envious of your hair as it grows longer? I live in an area of Oklahoma where a lot of Black women don't take care of their hair to the point that they will look at my hair and search for a weave track What makes it worse, is that White and Native people over here are convinced that Black hair doesn't grow, to where they will stare at my hair and search for a track as well. It's either that or they assume you're not all Black! I personally think it's ridiculous, because I still feel that my hair is in the baby stages of getting long, compared to many women on this board and would wonder what some of these women would do if they saw some of the head of hair on you ladies. Anyways, sometimes I feel self conscious about wearing my hair out and worry about how I'll feel when it gets longer. I think I feel this way, because a female almost tried to burn my friends hair off with a lighter in a club many years ago out of jealousy, because she had wavy beautiful long hair and was getting a lot of attention. If I didn't catch the girl, my friends hair would have gone up in flames. I think about this from time to time. I wonder if there is a price to pay for achieving long and beautiful healthy hair

Anyways, I'd like to be happy about my progress without feeling self conscious about it, but I don't know how. I smile and try to be friendly out of nerves, but I don't always get a smile in return. Am I making sense to you ladies?? Do any of you go through these fears or am I being irrational?

Wow this is awful....its so crazy how negative and hateful a person can be towards a person they don't even know......man if that were me, I would be in jail.

Your hair is beautiful, so healthy and shiny. I have not experienced anything to that affect but then again my hair is only a little past my neck (almost shoulder) which is the average length for AA women(IMO). I hope I never have to go througth this....but thats life huh.

 

[locabouthair]

wow I can't believe someone would try to do that to your friend.

i've never worried about people being envious as my hair gets longer. but i wanted to ask the ladies on hee if longer hair gave them any unwanted or too much attention.

 

[Energist]

She told me something i never though about before. She told me when your going to your nursing class and you have a BW professor you should down play your looks until you find out how she feels about other BW. She said when she was in nursing school the professor would pick on the women who walk in to class with long hair and well dress. They would make them work the hardest and still gave them a lower grade because they didn't like them. This is scare because they hold your grade in their hands and will use that as a way to get at you because they are jealous of your looks.

Wow, just Wow It's like you can't just grow you hair and look your best in peace without worrying about the consequences!

 

[BrickbyBrick]

Once, a very long time ago I was THAT girl. You know, the one that drew stares and whispers 'cause she looked so fine . Actually I had a brastrap length ponytail weave that went really well with the rest of my hair. I wore it for one day to church. I was with my sisters and we were getting on the train.

We were giggling over how much attention my look was getting when a girl from another group came over to us, planted herself in front of me and loudly asked "Is that your real hair?". I fiddled in my purse and loudly muttered "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I got the receipt somewhere", which set everybody off on my side of the train. the girl sucked her teeth and walked back to her friends. but for all the bravado I had, that *ish hurt, so although I don't have your beautiful hair Energist, I know how you feel. But I also feel that other women's opinion should not count when it comes to YOUR hair. Wear it out and wear it proud. Ignore those who cannot overcome their insecurity to see who you are, with or without your hair.

 

[Energist]

wow I can't believe someone would try to do that to your friend.

I couldn't believe it myself. My friend wore her hair in a lot of buns and high ponytails after that. I rarely saw her wear it loose anymore.

 

[camellia]

It's not something I've given much though to really.

Maybe it's because I wear my hair up mostly but I don't really get negative attention from women about my hair.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I'm never fearful but I'm always aware, especially in my surroundings of catty jealousy and the potential for things to go beyond that. I don't really see myself trusting wearing my hair out in a club environment as it reaches APL & beyond, but I'd be totally alright with people 'thinking' it's a weave, I know it isn't and anyone close enough to me know it isn't and anyone who wants to get to know will know it isn't so everybody else can suck it.

 

[audacity.]

hey, energist! no i can't say that i am "fearful" of envious women...i have always had what is considered "long" hair in the black community (SL-APL) all of my life and i know that there have been people who have questioned whether or not my hair is real, or ask if i am mixed with something...i don't mind - IMO it is a compliment when someone says that my hair looks fake . i have always considered my hair, its health and its length, one of my greatest physical attributes.

there are always going to be haters, in oklahoma, colorado, or wherever and not only because of your hair, either. the way i see it, those same folks hating can have the same "good" hair that you or i or any of our LHCF sisters have if they only took the time, dedication and patience to grow it.

girl, i know you are proud of your hair so let it swang!!!! tell them folks instead of worrying about what your hair is doing, take care of their own!!!

and BTW: mediocrity will ALWAYS dislike excellence!!!! good luck girl, and keep it growing!

 

[Energist]

Once, a very long time ago I was THAT girl. You know, the one that drew stares and whispers 'cause she looked so fine . Actually I had a brastrap length ponytail weave that went really well with the rest of my hair. I wore it for one day to church. I was with my sisters and we were getting on the train.

We were giggling over how much attention my look was getting when a girl from another group came over to us, planted herself in front of me and loudly asked "Is that your real hair?". I fiddled in my purse and loudly muttered "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I got the receipt somewhere", which set everybody off on my side of the train. the girl sucked her teeth and walked back to her friends. but for all the bravado I had, that *ish hurt, so although I don't have your beautiful hair Energist, I know how you feel. But I also feel that other women's opinion should not count when it comes to YOUR hair. Wear it out and wear it proud. Ignore those who cannot overcome their insecurity to see who you are, with or without your hair.

omg, reminds me of the aggressive natured women in NY putting people on the spot in public settings... being all loud lol.

Also, my hair wasn't always what it is now (which still needs work), but when it was less than I would admire women with nice healthy head of hair and ask them about their maintenance discreetly. I found out about the Dominican stylists that way.

 

[aurora3140]

For me, the fear is very real. When I was in middle school, this guy, who was regarded somewhat as the school resident bad-boy/bully, stuck a piece of gum in this girl's beautiful long hair while they were on the bus. It must have been really bad because the next day she had a pixie hair cut ! I sometimes worry about this or a jealous girl taking a pair of scissors or a knife to my ponytail

 

[Energist]

It's not something I've given much though to really.

Maybe it's because I wear my hair up mostly but I don't really get negative attention from women about my hair.

Well camellia, your hair looks like it is yours... like it's naturally supposed to get that long, the texture and everything. For some Black women with more ethnic (4a/b) hair according to stereotypes it looks a bit unnatural. It's like some of these girls are like "well if my hair doesn't grow like that, then how in the hell can hers and she's as Black as I am" this is the feeling that I've gotten. erplexed whereas they can look at yours and feel it's just "supposed" to get that long.

 

[BrickbyBrick]

For me, the fear is very real. When I was in middle school, this guy, who was regarded somewhat as the school resident bad-boy/bully, stuck a piece of gum in this girl's beautiful long hair while they were on the bus. It must have been really bad because the next day she had a pixie hair cut ! I sometimes worry about this or a jealous girl taking a pair of scissors or a knife to my ponytail

It would've been me and him after school, seriously. I would have taken him to the cleaners, bully or not. that's not right at all.

 

[mzhotniz86]

my auntie told me a long time ago that while she was in school she had long pretty thick reddish hair. and some one of the girls didnt like her and while they were in the cafeteria and she was eating lunch, the girl cut her ponytail off halfway down to the ponytail holder ! kids can be so cruel.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

For me, the fear is very real. When I was in middle school, this guy, who was regarded somewhat as the school resident bad-boy/bully, stuck a piece of gum in this girl's beautiful long hair while they were on the bus. It must have been really bad because the next day she had a pixie hair cut ! I sometimes worry about this or a jealous girl taking a pair of scissors or a knife to my ponytail

I know a girl this happened to in H.S. The girls did it behind her on the school bus. But some 'girls' never grow out of their envious ways and taking action on their envy just to make themselves feel better. Such a shame.

 

[audacity.]

my auntie told me a long time ago that while she was in school she had long pretty thick reddish hair. and some one of the girls didnt like her and while they were in the cafeteria and she was eating lunch, the girl cut her ponytail off halfway down to the ponytail holder ! kids can be so cruel.

adults can be crueler (if that is even a word) and i would beat a kid up if they did some of the things these kids do to my kids hair!!!

when i was in middle school someone put nair in a girl's hair...








i really wouldn't beat a kid up

 

[B_Phlyy]

My hair is nowhere near long, but sometimes I do worry about what will happen as my hair starts to grow. I had a friend who actually DID get her hair set on fire, in the bss no less, and the girl who did it told her she would now have to wear weave like everyone else. As much as you might say long hair doesn't matter or doesn't mean much, to some people it does and they will try to take it from you to make themselves feel better.

 

[Ms Red]

I don't think your fears are unfounded, they seem very real All I know is, Entergist you have a beautiful head of hair

 

[aurora3140]

It would've been me and him after school, seriously. I would have taken him to the cleaners, bully or not. that's not right at all.

I heard that!

I've never been in a physical fight in my life, but that would have been the day!

 

[Energist]

You ladies are so supportive! I'm thankful for joining this site every day! I wish that I actually knew women like you in the real world, but I'm glad that I can ask questions without feel embarassed and get my daily sisterly fix here

 

[audacity.]

My hair is nowhere near long, but sometimes I do worry about what will happen as my hair starts to grow. I had a friend who actually DID get her hair set on fire, in the bss no less, and the girl who did it told her she would now have to wear weave like everyone else. As much as you might say long hair doesn't matter or doesn't mean much, to some people it does and they will try to take it from you to make themselves feel better.

WHOA!!!! So this thread, has opened my eyes, FOR REAL! I honestly, didn't know that having hair (or NOT having hair) was that serious to some people....i am STUNNED that people GROWN people, nonetheless, have the audacity to resort to criminal activity, JUST because a sista has some hair!!!!!

 

[Nature'sWay]

I kind of am because when girls get into a fight it seems like the first thing they grab is your hair. I was watching one of those court shows and these two women had gotten into a fight and both had long hair. One of the women had ripped the other ladies hair out on one side of her head. Where I live though there are many women with long hair so no one has any reason to do too much hating.

 

[Energist]

For me, the fear is very real. When I was in middle school, this guy, who was regarded somewhat as the school resident bad-boy/bully, stuck a piece of gum in this girl's beautiful long hair while they were on the bus. It must have been really bad because the next day she had a pixie hair cut ! I sometimes worry about this or a jealous girl taking a pair of scissors or a knife to my ponytail

I've thought of that as well... especially in the movie theaters I hope that nothing ever happens to any of us ladies!

 

[aurora3140]

I know a girl this happened to in H.S. The girls did it behind her on the school bus. But some 'girls' never grow out of their envious ways and taking action on their envy just to make themselves feel better. Such a shame.

I'm so sorry this happened to your friend . I'm glad I didn't have the length of hair I do now in HS (which would be considered longish where I come from). Girls are so freaking petty! This right here is my worse hair fear. At least with gum, depending on how high up it's stuck, I could try to get it out without losing too much length. But scissors or fire?!

 

[FunkyMunky]

About 3 years ago, one of my best friends went to her cousin, a hair stylist so that she could cornrow her hair so that she could go home and sew a wig on. After she cornrowed my girl's hair my friend said that her cousin quickly sprayed this solution on her hair and between the braids. She asked her cousin what it was and she was like "nothing."

A week or two later my friend took the cornrows out and she had permanent parts between the cornrows. This thinned her hair out big time and she swore her cousin did it. My girls hair wasn't long but it was ultra thick. She cut it all off and started over. Years later her hair thickness is barely what it use to be.

They have always had a little strained relationship and me and her other friends tried to convince her that she was being ridiculous. Needless to say they had a big blow up and don't talk anymore.

 

[glamazon386]

I knew a girl who got her ponytail snipped off in class in grade school. She had 2 pigtails and the girl sitting behind her cut one of them off. Nobody said anything. By the time she found out she just cried and cried and cried. I understand what you're talking about but women will be catty. If it's not your hair, it'll be something else. You can't live your life for other people.

 

[aurora3140]

About 3 years ago, one of my best friends went to her cousin, a hair stylist so that she could cornrow her hair so that she could go home and sew a wig on. After she cornrowed my girl's hair my friend said that her cousin quickly sprayed this solution on her hair and between the braids. She asked her cousin what it was and she was like "nothing."

A week or two later my friend took the cornrows out and she had permanent parts between the cornrows. This thinned her hair out big time and she swore her cousin did it. My girls hair wasn't long but it was ultra thick. She cut it all off and started over. Years later her hair thickness is barely what it use to be.

They have always had a little strained relationship and me and her other friends tried to convince her that she was being ridiculous. Needless to say they had a big blow up and don't talk anymore.

I wonder if this was a dipilatory spray? Whew! There would have been smoke in the city ! I can't believe someone would do this to their kin!

 

[Energist]

My computer is lagging, so I'm missing a lot of the posts, but now that I've caught up... THESE STORIES ARE SCARY