Just shut up!!

[Windsy]

He's never said JUST SHUT UP!!! He has said, "baby, can you please stop talking so I can get my point across".....and I immediately stop talking.

Sometimes we just go and go and go not realizing that we aren't giving the other person a chance to talk and neither are we listening.

 

[gabulldawg]

SO has never told me to shut up.

Thank you. I'm sitting here and can't get past that. I can't even fathom how I would handle that because DH knows better than to ever tell me to shut up or curse at me. We have to do better. I will also say that I'm not a nagger. I pick and choose my battles wisely. I used to nag my ex a LOT and know how much it can hurt/destroy a relationship. I guess I really don't have much to nag DH about. Things come up every now and then. I say my peace and let it go. If it's something that I asked him to do, he has a certain time frame to get it done and if he doesn't do it I will do it myself or find a way to get it done. I am just thankful that DH is a great listener and is very observant. I rarely have to say things multiple times. We are a great team.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

OP why are you still with this guy? This is the same man who lost his job because he smoked too much weed. Then he lied to you and told you he quit using until you found evidence that he'd been smoking in your house. Then a few weeks ago you started a thread about him ogling other women.

 

[Sexyred]

this. also, as someone who has an extremely naggy mother, i think some people must have no idea how incredibly resentful someone can become when they are continually nagged this is why i make a conscious effort not to say naggy things to my bf. we are still in the honeymoon phase, so there isn't much for us to nag each other over, or any potential for one of us to tell the other to shut up. but i am still very careful about nagging.



nobody likes to have things from their past thrown in their face.

BUT

in this part of the forum, it's like, c'mon son. there are so many repeat offenders over here who are GROWN ARSE WOMEN still getting dogged out by men who obviously couldn't give two fux about them. there are women over here who repeatedly complain about a multitude of issues in their relationships, wanting advice each time and refusing to consider the possibility that all these incompatibles probably mean Y'ALL SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER. and every time it's the same sob story, and all the advice people give is ignored, so at some point it's like, what are you even posting for?

i'm not with this idea that oh we're women, we have weak hearts and well we make a ton of relationship mistakes nah son. some women are just foolish and it irks me to see it handled with kid gloves, particularly when these women seem completely unwilling to try to better their situations. you constantly putting up with garbage from your KANG yep: 9 times out of 10 it's a good for nothing kang) and i'm supposed to "po' baby" you every time. let me repeat: CHICKS ARE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER.

if someone keeps getting stories of old love thrown up in their face maybe they need to examine those stories and wonder why they haven't seemed to learn from their mistakes. because it's good to have sympathy for others, but i dont think it does anybody any good to enable their foolishness.[/QUOTE.

OR

maybe one should just shut the fcuk up and not share s*it on the boards where everybody has an opinion and how they express said opinion is not so nice sometimes.

 

[firecracker]

Hell to the nawl cuz if he did I might go to jail for domestic violence. LOL

Everyone isn't private and have a right to post wth-eva they want. The problem comes when the OP continues to get pissed off and rude as hell cuz folks ain't always gon agree.

You cannot be all sensitive if you continue to ask other folks questions/advice or dare vent in the public. Folks gon always have something to say. She needs to let that bs roll off and take what she needs.

Ain't nobody gotta big up any of our silly bs but as long as she is happy that is what should be of importance to her.

None of us are perfect but at a certain point and age we do need to learn from our mistakes and past experiences. Insanity is doing the same sh!t expecting different results!

Its ok to go to the mirror and scream "STOP THE INSANITY"! lol

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

*Big sigh*

Let me preface what I'm about to say with this, I truly love this site and may just be the longest member here. Well at least probably the longest member by name. I honestly enjoy coming here and sharing with you ladies and the advice you give. But....

It saddens me when some of you use our rants and raves to weave a carpet of all our mistakes together and then want to walk us down our battered and worn rug.

We are women, we make mistakes but we love and we care and we keep trying to find that one relationship that will bring us joy. It's a journey...if we were all ready there, we'd probably be too preoccupied and busy coloring to even come here.

So let's not become experts at tearing each other down for our slips and falls. Lord knows...we've all made them and as long as we are human and certainly women...we will make them again...some more than others.

I have been trained "learnt" to not be as open here like I use to be. Because some of you think it's a full time job to try to dig up ones past and use it to somehow add decor to their future. Some of you who know me personal are at awe with what my past holds.

If you've ever read my long A story about my SC boyfriend you know I had a dramatically different life than the one I live now. So what? You live and you learn. But I am asking with all my heart and all the love I have for each and every one of you...be my sisters...be a good friend, stop making it hard to come here and share.

I'm not talking about the hard advice you give...heck we all need that sometime...I'm talking about the need to make someone feel bad. No one comes here to ask for advice to leave feeling like "dang...I bet I'll never do that again".

This is going to be longer than Whitney's funeral...lol. And I want to say those (yes I'm talking about you) who feel someway about me. Girl please...I'll be your biggest fan in one post and reserve the right to disagree with you in the next. I'm not a fake. If we disagree about something it doesn't mean I don't like you...it simply means we disagreed.

So when you see me in another post waxing on about xyz...it has absolutely nothing to do with abc. Wasn't that corny? LOL...I just don't believe in making enemies here...we need each others support and ears and shoulders to cry on way too much. I come here and rant when I can't call my so called real life friends. And I like that. Okay...I think I'm done.

Brightest Blessings and Happy Sunday Ladies!

Thank you for this post because I was all ready to cancel my subscription due to the fact that I thought this was a sisterhood and this will be the third post in a row that I've gotten blatant negative feedback. It's one thing when you ask for it, it's another when as you said, they pick apart your past posts and try to bring it up in the current one. I am sensitive and somewhat guarded and I come here to open up and people... Anyway, I've learned my lesson about what to share and what not to share. But thanks again for posting what I feel needed to be posted

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Thank you for this post because I was all ready to cancel my subscription due to the fact that I thought this was a sisterhood and this will be the third post in a row that I've gotten blatant negative feedback. It's one thing when you ask for it, it's another when as you said, they pick apart your past posts and try to bring it up in the current one. I am sensitive and somewhat guarded and I come here to open up and people... Anyway, I've learned my lesson about what to share and what not to share. But thanks again for posting what I feel needed to be posted

Aww don't cancel there are petty, messy, judgemental, nice, friendly, caring, insert any word here, folks anywhere you go. That's life. Sometimes folks are just having one of those days and lash out (I've done that). Other times folks are just very very strong in their beliefs and just give it to you straight with no chaser. Other times, folks are just unhappy bishes. Either way just get the info you need and it is what it is.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

I am somewhat new to posting even though I've been a member for awhile so I look at the other posts and see all the sisterhood like responses and think hey why don't I see what they think about xyz. Had I known Id spend my time bickering about my own ish and defending myself I would've talked to my mom instead since she loves to give me a hard time.
I will admit that I am sensitive and not very thick skinned but I didn't think I would need to be when NOT asking for advice. I don't have the patience to post responses on posts that I find annoying so I don't know why anyone else who is annoyed would give up their time to do so.
I now feel bad that Ive allowed my fh to be put in a bad light by my own words because he is good to me in ways I never thought a man could be. Hes not perfect and yes he lost a job and it may be due to his weed smoking habits but after that he decided to check himself on the smoking. He cut back and got himself into his career job as a chef within a month. I also was going ape ish on him at the time that he said will you just shut up. I tend to lose it when we fight. he even had to restrain me once before I would calm down with the security hold, I have some anger issues and some bratty ways that I'm working through.
But I post sometimes just to get some girls to ra ra with me and let me revel in my own bad behavior which is probably why I'm getting some negativity back.
I know a dumb sucka for love beezy when I see one and I'm not it. I was taught to keep the man that loves me as much as he loves himself, who values raising his kids to do well, who takes care of me and who treats me well. So foolish to me is a woman who allows cheating or her man to stay out all night or her man to call her a b....I could be foolish to those in really awesome relationships and marriages and thats fine if that's how you feel but I don't argee.

I spent the weekend feeling down in dumps about the posters who hurt my wittle feewings but im good with it now. I always have to take time out to remind myself that people are different and not everybody will have the same approach to things as me. I ultimately learned to stay away from certain areas that I may be too sensitive for.
Blessed days and peaceful nights everyone.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

Aww don't cancel there are petty, messy, judgemental, nice, friendly, caring, insert any word here, folks anywhere you go. That's life. Sometimes folks are just having one of those days and lash out (I've done that). Other times folks are just very very strong in their beliefs and just give it to you straight with no chaser. Other times, folks are just unhappy bishes. Either way just get the info you need and it is what it is.

Thank you and I decided not to cancel...I realized that about people too. I'm over it now I just had to have my time to pout about it and express my dislike.

 

[Mortons]

If you are head over heels for your SO and completely confident that he is a good man, you don't have to care what everyone else thinks. It shouldn't hurt your feelings really.


At any rate, I have never been told to shut up. I hold grudges. If you tell me to shut up I will be quiet for days, until I feel you have sufficiently apologized.

 

[ZLUVSNEWZEE]

It was the I'm done with you and the foolish comments that hurt my feelings. Maybe my feelings"shouldn't" be hurt but they were, that's just the way I'm made...can't help it.

 

[meesch]

i was the one who made the foolish comment - i wasnt referring to you. im not very familiar with your post history to say something like that.

 

[firecracker]

Thank you for this post because I was all ready to cancel my subscription due to the fact that I thought this was a sisterhood and this will be the third post in a row that I've gotten blatant negative feedback. It's one thing when you ask for it, it's another when as you said, they pick apart your past posts and try to bring it up in the current one. I am sensitive and somewhat guarded and I come here to open up and people... Anyway, I've learned my lesson about what to share and what not to share. But thanks again for posting what I feel needed to be posted

ZLUVSNEWZEE don't think 98% of us have not been picked apart around here, in other spaces and places too. Its really no different IRL except folks gotta compudder screen to hide behind. I prefer that rather than whispering behind my back cuz I need correction just like the next human.

I actually like that you are candid. Really all I want you to do is stand firm in your beliefs even when folks don't agree with you. Girl get mad, get over it and KIM. I'm telling you some of this bs will come in handy sometime or place in yo life.

Aww don't cancel there are petty, messy, judgemental, nice, friendly, caring, insert any word here, folks anywhere you go. That's life. Sometimes folks are just having one of those days and lash out (I've done that). Other times folks are just very very strong in their beliefs and just give it to you straight with no chaser. Other times, folks are just unhappy bishes. Either way just get the info you need and it is what it is.

ITA

Thank you and I decided not to cancel...I realized that about people too. I'm over it now I just had to have my time to pout about it and express my dislike.

Don't make me start singin Keith Sweat songs "don't leave meeeeeeeeeeeeee woman"

Real talk I like your threads just don't like when you let some of our wacky arses get under yo skin for more than 2n2.

It was the I'm done with you and the foolish comments that hurt my feelings. Maybe my feelings"shouldn't" be hurt but they were, that's just the way I'm made...can't help it.

We all have feelings. Even if some of us act like we don't. Anyway ain't nobody else starting no threads around herrre outside of Whitney dis and Whitney dat

Every freakin minute I'm hearing and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always luv UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! :rolleyes

 

[mandii]

My ex-s/o said this a couple times (we are currently friends, and i know he wants to get back together but i aint really havin that ****) and I would shut it. But I also would be planning his demise over and over in my head until he apologized for his outburst. Happened too many times than I care to admit, and had I nipped it in the bud in the beginning, we probably wouldn't have gotten that far in the relationship.