Is this shady?

[*5+5]

Well, we had a brief conversation last night and he was saying all the things a girl would love to hear but instead of skinning and grinning I was firing off questions trying to understand where all of it was coming from. He asked me if I could see us together and I couldn't answer that question, so we decided we'll go out for dinner to further discuss on Tuesday night since I'm leaving to go see my parents today. So we'll see.

Hi 5+5, I just imagined how I would feel if I had been in a long-term on-again off again relationship with a guy and he said he and some lady were just friends, then she and I hung out a bit, and I later found out that they had kissed and that she had a huge crush on him, I would feel hurt, like really, you let me hang out with this chick that you had kissed and knew liked you? To me that's kinda unfair to your ex especially since your relationship seems pretty deep, broken up or not. And so if y'all do get together the ex will be like I knew it, I had a feeling, and okay you see I have a very vivid imagination. But that's neither here nor there and I don't think you were intentionally being shady. It's over now though between you and your ex and it's not like you slept with the guy and I think this guy deserves a real shot...and I'm sorry if my comment came off harsh.

Hey, you didn't come off harsh I was just curious to where you ladies saw shade b/c hey if i was already shady then know need to worry right...j/k

My ex was aware of the friendly lil' all for nothing pecks..he asked me specifics about the friendship and said out of his mouth; "if I was interested in the guy I had every opportunity to move on it". I loved my ex and would never put him in a situation to have his face played, he knew there was a crush, "big crush" hmm...not so much not even I knew it to be this big.

My ex actually befriended the guy first, my bff was kicking it with one of dude’s cousins and they came over and dude stayed in the car b/c my ex was inside. My ex went outside and introduced himself and made dude come inside. . .my ex knew he had me, he wasn’t the list bit worried about any guy.

 

[hopeful]

Well then girl everything was out in the open then. You better go get your man. Have fun Tuesday and keep us updated.

 

[Lucia]

If you're ready to start dating and your ex is out of the picture
Go ahad but take it slow and get to know him and see where it goes you're not obliged to be serious and be his GF.
Your a free agent and dating him isn't shady it's called playing the field.

 

[shelli4018]

How long have you and the ex been apart? If you're still getting over it or a little burned out on relationships then take a break. Being alone for a bit can be great! If this sounded like a fun little fling I'd probably encourage you to go out and enjoy yourself. But if this is shaping up to be a full blown relationship I'd take my time. It would suck if you started something with your friend only to realize your feelings aren't strong enought to sustain a romance. Give it some thought. Don't rush into anything and be honest with yourself.

 

[*5+5]

How long have you and the ex been apart? If you're still getting over it or a little burned out on relationships then take a break. Being alone for a bit can be great! If this sounded like a fun little fling I'd probably encourage you to go out and enjoy yourself. But if this is shaping up to be a full blown relationship I'd take my time. It would suck if you started something with your friend only to realize your feelings aren't strong enought to sustain a romance. Give it some thought. Don't rush into anything and be honest with yourself.

@ - 1st bolded: My ex and I split in Sep 2010 but did not end all contact until the end of Jan. this year.

@ - 2nd bolded: Shelli that's really something for me to think about, I really don't want to hurt this guy and have the friendship gone forever.

 

[Thiends]

I don't see what's shady about him wanting to date you when you gave him all the "go" signs and you're single.

 

[ambergirl]

I have read this entire thread and still can't find a thing that suggests shadiness.

All I can say is that if the tables were turned, trust and believe that your ex would have no problem dating one of your friends. I'm positive that the reason your friend didn't become buddy-buddy with your ex was because of his feelings for you.

Either you like him or you don't. If you really liked him, then no amount of perceived shadiness would keep you from being with him. Maybe that's the real question you need to be asking yourself. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Bingo! If you were interested you wouldn't be hesitating so the question is why are you doubting...you're not really attracted to him, there's some fear there, what? I would get square with that before you move this to romance because you may mess up the friendship if you're not careful.

 

[Ediese]

@ - 1st bolded: My ex and I split in Sep 2010 but did not end all contact until the end of Jan. this year.

@ - 2nd bolded: Shelli that's really something for me to think about, I really don't want to hurt this guy and have the friendship gone forever.

Honestly, this guy does sound great, but you're not over your ex. I think if you're honest with yourself, you'll realize that. I have been there, done that, and ended up hurting a really great guy because of it.