Is The Friendship Worth Salvaging?

ME: I'm speaking English right?
FRIEND: Yes
ME: Ok good, so you can understand the words coming out of my mouth. When you make in store returns, and their policy states that you can only get an in-store credit, do you expect them to hand you cash and the store credit?
FRIEND: No.
ME: The airline & hotel return/cancellation policies state that you get a credit after 24 hourIs which have already been issued to you right?
HER: Yes.
ME: (Breathes dramatic sigh of relief). Ok good. We're on the same page. So what you having for dinner girl?
 
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LivingInPeace said:
She sounds simple.
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Has she shown simple thinking before, because that is what it looks like. She actually could have gotten her passport in 3 weeks but she would have had to make an in person appointment at an office. It lays out the time line and options you have pretty clearly on the passport website. So she is clearly not so bright or really careless.
 
galleta31 said:
Has she shown simple thinking before, because that is what it looks like. She actually could have gotten her passport in 3 weeks but she would have had to make an in person appointment at an office. It lays out the time line and options you have pretty clearly on the passport website. So she is clearly not so bright or really careless.
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That's true, I just looked it up because I need to renew mine. You can get an appointment 3 days before you travel or 10 days before if you need a Visa and it will be expedited
 
BonBon said:
I'd just leave it.

If she wanted to get back in contact and apologise when she cools down and realises what credits mean that would be up to her.

I'm not the person to be chasing someone after they throw a tantrum.
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Yeah that’s a bunch of people pleasing.
 
Black Ambrosia said:
She’ll tell people that OP kept her money and leave out the part about getting hotel and flight credits.

She’s mad at herself but I’m starting to think she might be a little slow.
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Yeah we had another conversation about this the next day and I would have to agree. It's just not clicking for her. She's not making the connection that the half she gave to me went to the airline and resort. Not to my wells fargo account for me to keep. Our other college friend who knows her believes that she's not trying to take my money.....she's just not making the connection. Either way I'm falling back
 
awhyley said:
She's not slow, she's hoping that OP is slow enough to go into her wallet. She doesn't intend to use the hotel/flight credits at all, which is why she wants the cash. Basically, OP would be paying for the trip all by herself and the friend pulls out scot free. Sad to see the 10-year friendship go down, but money and friendship don't mix.
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Yeah she definitely doesn't intend to use the credits. But oh well not my problem. I've been in this scenario with other friends. I've had friends not be able to go on a trip anymore for personal reasons, and I've even backed out on a group girls trip (my best friend was having her first baby and I stayed in town for it). We've always taken the money loss and kept it moving. No harm no foul. She's the first first to do the most and it's definitely noted.
 
nysister said:
So she's backing out on you, because she didn't have enough sense to see when she'd receive her passport and she's acting as if you owe her money that the airline and hotel have? :lachen::lachen::lachen:You don't need this in your life, if she isn't mentally challenged she's manipulative, and either way this friendship has turned out to be more trouble than it's worth.
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I'm cracking up. Yep. That's the scenario. And yeah this scenario has shown me that she's a little slow.
 
@MissNina i definitely understand where you’re coming from. We had a follow up conversation and I honestly don’t think she’s trying to rob me of my money. I honestly think she’s lacks the ability to connect the dots about where her money went.

It sounds mean but it’s going to be hard for me to just continue on with the friendship like before ....even once the time has passed and she doesn’t care about her money anymore....because I can’t get past how dumb she’s shown me she is.
 
galleta31 said:
Has she shown simple thinking before, because that is what it looks like. She actually could have gotten her passport in 3 weeks but she would have had to make an in person appointment at an office. It lays out the time line and options you have pretty clearly on the passport website. So she is clearly not so bright or really careless.
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Just with men. But all of my friends have been simple with men at least once. This is the first time that I’ve seen that she’s for real for real a little simple.
 
silverbuttons said:
she’s just not very intelligent that’s all. don’t think you should end a relationship over that..

I would meet up with pen and paper to explain. FaceTime with a white board lol. If you guys are good friends, y’all can laugh about this.
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Yeah she’s shown me she’s not very bright. I’m cracking up about the white board. I really feel like that’s what I need to help her understand.
 
lesedi said:
She’s insane. You owe her nothing - if anything she should be feeling bad because it was meant to be a girls trip and due to her lack of organisation, you’re going alone.
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This!!

Also OP I think she believes you owe her the $ because of this from your first post: “She cash app'd me her half and I book the flights and resort.” She sent you the money directly and didn’t have to do the work of getting her own flight or reserving her own room etc. In essence she’s treating you like a business versus a friend. Like you are a travel agency.

But you discussed everything ahead of time. She knew what could happen if that passport didn’t arrive. Sooo not YOUR problem. It’s HER problem and she doesn’t want to own that. Plus you’ve explained to her that the money isn’t in your bank, but is with the hotel and airline. You don’t owe her anymore explanations. That’s not fair to you. It’s actually cruel seeing that you have done all of the work and now have to go alone etc. Enjoy your trip. I’m sorry you are going through this with her. Breaking up with a friend is painful. I hate it every time. Especially a 10+ years friendship. (((Hugs)))
 
I'd ask her where she'd expect me to get the money from. The hotel was paid and her flight was was paid for. Her money isn't in my pocket. Does she expect me to take my personal money and give it to her? I'm confused at her reasoning.

I'd send her the receipts for the hotel and flight and explain that there where her money was spent and explain that's why she got credit from both establishments. Then I'd screenshot it because she sounds a bit loony.
 
I am so sorry I just saw this. For future reference there are emergency travel passport places. You can go if you are traveling within 3 business days and get your passport. You have to pay expedited fees of course.

Get My Passport Fast​


Do you need to rush your passport? Learn more about the service you should select based on when and why you are traveling internationally.

file

Beyond that your friend is insane. If she really wanted to secure her spot she should've looked into all the options to make sure she could fly there when necessary. This is my back up for just in case (film festival stuff, etc) if my stuff hasn't arrived. But see I always put things like this into my mental rolodex (worse case scenario break glass options :giggle: ) . And this option works because I secured a passport that way when I had to fly to Cannes upon realizing mine expired and I knew I wouldn't get my passport back in time. And it worked out just fine. You just have to stand in line and wait it out but oh well. With covid you probably don't even have to do that, just show up at the appointment time and get your passport at the same time, same day as you walk out.
 
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dancinstallion said:
That's true, I just looked it up because I need to renew mine. You can get an appointment 3 days before you travel or 10 days before if you need a Visa and it will be expedited
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Here we go. Exactly . I just wrote that about the passport before reading your post.
 
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Leeda.the.Paladin said:
I vote "simple".
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I really try to have a lot of empathy and understanding of people and the way they think, due to my own experiences with special needs and mental illness. It’s challenging though, since we just automatically expect someone to have common sense.
What I have witnessed from remote learning was interesting and informative. I saw a lot of children that on the outside appeared neurotypical, but once you started to hear them talk, or see them in action, their true nature was revealed. It made me aware that these children will eventually become adults and may experience challenges dealing with communication.
 
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